Dating around and "having fun" in your 20s is pointless. I should have settled down

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am 32. I graduated college at 22, got married at 23, started law school at 24, had my first baby at 26, bought my handyman special home at 27, and had my second at 28.

My 20s sucked bigtime.

But now I have a career, home, kids, marriage, at 32. My husband and I both changed a lot but we changed together and I am glad that we have each other. It was really hard but worth it.

You are my lost twin! Except that I had two kids in my 20s, built my own house at 27. I am in early 40s, one kid is in college and another will head to college soon. No regrets for not drinking heavily in my 20s. My skin looks awesome in my 40s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I drank my ass off in my 20s and am a better dad because of it. I got married at 30 and had kids at 32. I've never felt restless as a father because I got it out of my system in my 20s. I know that I'm not missing anything by being domestic.

Only women, men should marry at 35 to 25 year old woman. Man can make sperm into their late 40s. Woman was designed to make babies up until early 30s.

[Anonymous]

I think if we could all magically know who our soul mate/perfect match was and married him/her at a young age, and live happily ever after, this would be ideal. But most people aren't this fortunate, and need to live and grow a bit before meeting the right person. That doesn't happen on any particular timetable.

[Anonymous]

One of my favorite aphorisms is “It’ll all be ok in the end. If it’s not ok, then it’s not the end.”

You still have time, don’t worry. You’ll meet the one and still have a satisfying career.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am 32. I graduated college at 22, got married at 23, started law school at 24, had my first baby at 26, bought my handyman special home at 27, and had my second at 28.

My 20s sucked bigtime.

But now I have a career, home, kids, marriage, at 32. My husband and I both changed a lot but we changed together and I am glad that we have each other. It was really hard but worth it.

You are my lost twin! Except that I had two kids in my 20s, built my own house at 27. I am in early 40s, one kid is in college and another will head to college soon. No regrets for not drinking heavily in my 20s. My skin looks awesome in my 40s.

This is us, too. Are you in the dc area? I haven’t met anyone else who has done it quiet the same way here.

We did nothing but work in our 20s. I married a spectacular man at 22, and we had two kids shortly after. We kept
It going on all burners professionally, too. Our friends now are in their early 30s, and they seem totally stumped about to put it all together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm glad I didn't get married right after college because I was good and stupid. I had no idea how to choose a good mate. If I had married any of the men I dated back then I would be divorced or miserably married I'm sure.

I had always admired people who knew themselves well enough at that age to choose a mate for life.

I think a lot of it is luck. I wasn't smart at 21, I was lucky. I have had a long, stable, happy marriage, but I don't think my friends whose marriages imploded had less insight than I did at 21.

I absolutely love you. Your ability to enjoy your good fortune without letting it cloud your opinion of others who just happened not to be as fortunate is refreshing. I'm guessing you have had a long, stable, happy marriage because you have a kind heart and a good head on your shoulders.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think if we could all magically know who our soul mate/perfect match was and married him/her at a young age, and live happily ever after, this would be ideal. But most people aren't this fortunate, and need to live and grow a bit before meeting the right person. That doesn't happen on any particular timetable.

This. I don't see how people think you can plan this all out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am 32. I graduated college at 22, got married at 23, started law school at 24, had my first baby at 26, bought my handyman special home at 27, and had my second at 28.

My 20s sucked bigtime.

But now I have a career, home, kids, marriage, at 32. My husband and I both changed a lot but we changed together and I am glad that we have each other. It was really hard but worth it.

You are my lost twin! Except that I had two kids in my 20s, built my own house at 27. I am in early 40s, one kid is in college and another will head to college soon. No regrets for not drinking heavily in my 20s. My skin looks awesome in my 40s.

This is us, too. Are you in the dc area? I haven’t met anyone else who has done it quiet the same way here.

We did nothing but work in our 20s. I married a spectacular man at 22, and we had two kids shortly after. We kept
It going on all burners professionally, too. Our friends now are in their early 30s, and they seem totally stumped about to put it all together.

I am in the dc area! I am pretty much the only one who did things this way of the people I know. I think what people don't get is that sometimes it is better to get through all the sucky stages all at once. So I had my law school/infant/starter house is falling apart stress all at the same time, and it was just a very brief period of complete and utter misery, and now things are better. Or at least, I am better prepared to handle the crises that have come my way, like my child's health issues. The more you push things off, the more you take a gamble that everything is going to fall into place later. There are plenty of women who find a man in their late 20s/early 30s, but some don't. There are plenty of women who are able to have a baby or two in their 30s, but some don't. Who is to say that you will get the better of it? I have never been that optimistic for myself. At 22 I was not getting my period and my gyno said I might never have children, so that was always in the back of my mind. My mindset was that I couldn't wait if I really wanted children. My family also always supported me in having a career and a family.

[Anonymous]

It's definitely not so black and white. But I agree if you want children, that's something you do need to have in the forefront of your mind by the time you're in your mid-20s

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a hard time seeing how having an abortion at 25 proves anything other than how lucky it was that you had that option available to you, if you weren't ready to be a parent.

No, my career trajectory would not have changed. So at the very least I'd have the same career plus a beautiful daughter or son.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think if we could all magically know who our soul mate/perfect match was and married him/her at a young age, and live happily ever after, this would be ideal. But most people aren't this fortunate, and need to live and grow a bit before meeting the right person. That doesn't happen on any particular timetable.

This. I don't see how people think you can plan this all out.

Because it seems like a lot of people do. I remember looking at all of the folks who seemed to have it all figured out wondering how they knew? Like an earlier poster I wasn't really taught anything about relationships growing up. I wasn't allowed to date in high school so no real oversight or guidance was there when I did start dating in college. I was just told to go to college and meet my husband there and he should be a doctor, lawyer or some other professional/high earner (my mom was a SAHM who became a teacher, father a veep at an international company). That was it. This means I dated a lot of great on paper doctor, lawyer high earner guys who were jerks for far too long. Once I got mature enough to figure out what I wanted vs. what was expected of me, it turns out I like altruistic and artistic men. I married an elem school teacher in my mid-30s.

[Anonymous]

I feel a sense of relief that I had children (unplanned) at mid 20s when I see my college friends changing diapers.

[Anonymous]

^I'm 40.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:right after college. I even got an abortion at 25 because I didn't want to interrupt my young career.

All for what? I make six figures, I'm unhappy and those fun drunken weekends were fleeting.

Sorry, just venting. On the off chance any young women read this forum: Don't make the same mistake.

Thank you for coming forward and warning other women. Feminism is a poison that destroys women's happiness, men, and families. Having learned this the hard way, you still have a chance but you have to put in hard work to erase the hateful ideology from your brain. No more meaningless sex that cheapens you, no more killing unborn, no hating men. Focus on love, love of a one man who will cherish you, create a family and life long bonds to nourish your heart and soul into old age. May you succeed and be happy!

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/opinion/commentary/ct-feminism-anti-women-motherhood-perspec-0303-20170302-story.html

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:right after college. I even got an abortion at 25 because I didn't want to interrupt my young career.

All for what? I make six figures, I'm unhappy and those fun drunken weekends were fleeting.

Sorry, just venting. On the off chance any young women read this forum: Don't make the same mistake.

Thank you for coming forward and warning other women. Feminism is a poison that destroys women's happiness, men, and families. Having learned this the hard way, you still have a chance but you have to put in hard work to erase the hateful ideology from your brain. No more meaningless sex that cheapens you, no more killing unborn, no hating men. Focus on love, love of a one man who will cherish you, create a family and life long bonds to nourish your heart and soul into old age. May you succeed and be happy!

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/opinion/commentary/ct-feminism-anti-women-motherhood-perspec-0303-20170302-story.html

Wanting and fighting for equal rights for women destroys families?