DCUM Weblog

Yesterday's top thread in both number of posts and number of views was posted in the "General Parenting Discussion" forum. Titled, "Boy moms, you happy with your choice?", the original poster asks whether the mothers of boys are happy with their decision to have or not have their sons circumcised. Circumcision is traditionally one of the hot button issues on DCUM so it is no surprise that a thread on the topic generated so much interest. Having seen so many similar threads over the years, they've become very predictable. If there is any surprise at all, it's that the debate has not advanced in the slightest over the years. The same arguments being made 15 years ago are still being made today. While proponents of circumcision point to medical benefits to the practice, opponents argue that any such benefits, if they exist at all, are marginal at best. As such, this debate is much more often lodged in tradition than in science. Many of the moms who replied said that they left the decision to their husbands who they considered better equipped (pun intended) to make the decision. Those with religious traditions involving circumcision generally followed their religious practice. Europeans, for whom the practice is not part of their culture, declared circumcision to be barbaric and Americans to be out of touch. At least one poster compared male circumcision to female genital mutilation, but encountered significant pushback. All in all, this thread is fairly tame relative to the level of discourse we normally see on the topic. But, if/when the intactivist crowd discovers the thread, I suspect that will change.

It was a little hard to determine which threads were yesterday's top threads because there was not much consistency between those with the highest number of views and those with the highest number of replies. So, I'll somewhat arbitrarily start with a thread that was first in number of views and fourth in number of replies. The thread was titled, "For Fun: How You Know You've Become a Washingtonian" and posted in the "Off-Topic" forum. The original poster lists ten things that demonstrate that you have become a Washingtonian. As the title says, the thread was meant to be fun and it was mostly taken in that spirit. The thread quickly transitioned to posters reminiscing about Washington, DC in "the old days" — a topic that is fairly common on DCUM. Some posters argued that the only true way to become a Washingtonian was to be born here while transplants from New York declared that they would never be anything other than New Yorkers. That reminds me that the original poster's list might have included "you learn to smile kindly and nod gently when New Yorkers tell you that everything is better in New York". At any rate, if you are interested in arguing "Riggs" vs "PNC", "People's" vs "CVS", or "National" vs "Reagan", you will enjoy this thread.

I often comment about how I haven't read the threads that lead the list of most active topics. More than that, I often don't even know about the threads until I look at them in order to summarize them for these posts. Such was the case with a thread titled, "Wealthy family sent their teen to $50K day school, every travel league, most weekends and all summer" and posted in the "College and University Discussion" forum. I discovered this thread, which was first in number of views and second in number of replies yesterday, for the first time just now. If you haven't already read the thread, you won't be able to because I've removed it. The thread was a nasty, ill-conceived criticism of a family with whom the original poster is acquainted. Much of the original poster's critique of the family revolves around the family's commitment to their daughter's pursuit of soccer. Some time ago, I began limiting posts in our soccer forum to those by registered users. Motivating this change was the constant negative, rude, and downright mean posts that dominated that forum. The original poster's obvious glee in what she sees as the family's daughter's failure to be accepted into a top college soccer program is extremely distasteful. But, exactly the sort of thing to be expected based on my experience with the soccer forum. To our posters' credit, virtually all of those who responded lambasted the original poster, suggesting that she was simply jealous of the other family and disputing the implication that the daughter had somehow failed. The original poster, apparently realizing the hole in to which she had dug herself, attempted to reframe her post as an argument against overemphasizing sports. Most of the responders were still not having it and defended participation in sports regardless of the level.

Today I'll look at the most active threads over the weekend. The thread with the highest number of replies and the highest number of views was titled, "Power Outage Montogomery County" and posted in the "Off-Topic" forum. The thread was prompted by a widespread power outage in Montgomery County that was caused by a small airplane crashing into a tower carrying high voltage electrical transmission lines. The plane was suspended from the tower with a pilot and passenger onboard. I guess it says something about our users that so many used the precious remaining battery life of their phones and tablets to post on DCUM. The initial posts in the thread focused on the geographic range of the power outage and its cause. The thread followed developments as they occurred, relaying announcements by officials that power needed to be cut to the lines supported by the tower in order to allow a rescue and that cranes would need to be brought in. There was considerable anger in the thread towards the pilot who some felt shouldn't be flying in such weather and some concern about the airport's location in the midst of a heavily-developed area. As posters realized that power would not be restored for most of the night, attention turned to the status of schools and, when it was announced that public schools would be closed today, that decision took over the discussion. The decision had both supporters and detractors with rather strong feelings on both sides. Many argued that schools that didn't lose power should be allowed to reopen while others pointed out that school staff in areas without electricity would be impacted even if their schools weren't (leaving teachers with non-functioning hairdryers). The school closures prompted at least two additional threads and so much energy was devoted to arguing about the decision over night that the topic itself probably caused an electrical surge as posters busily typed their DCUM posts.

The most active thread in both number of views and number of replies was titled, "Would this request from a friend weird you out?" and posted in the "Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)" forum. The original poster explains that she works from home but upcoming renovations to her house will make working there impossible for a couple of weeks. She asks if it would be crazy to ask a neighbor with whom she is friends if she can work at her house. The neighbor would not be home at the time. The vast majority of replies advise the original poster not to make such a request. Reasons cited included feeling pressured to clean the house every morning and fears of the original poster snooping through the house. Several posters said that they would never themselves make such a request, but if asked, would reluctantly agree to it. A very small number of posters said that they would not only accomodate such a request, but would view it as fun and would welcome it. Quite a few responses said that while requesting to work at a friend or neighbor's home for a couple of days might be okay, the original poster's plan to work there for a couple of weeks was too much. The original poster, who posted a response in which she lied by saying that she was not the original poster, must not have read those responses because she asked whether the answers would change if the request were only for two or three days. In addition to the responses directly answering the original poster's question, many of those who responded offered alternative suggestions such as working from a library or cafe or joining a shared workplace.

Yesterday was Thanksgiving which is traditionally one of the slowest days of the year on DCUM. Whether our mom-dominated userbase is tied up in the kitchen (likely) or everyone is simply enjoying the day with friends and relatives (hopefully), few users seem to have time for our website. This is reflected in the numbers of replies and views of the most active threads. Fittingly, the leader in number of replies yesterday was a Thanksgiving-themed thread in the "Food, Cooking, and Restaurants" forum titled, "If you saw a host leave a Turkey out of fridge for 3+ hrs before roasting it…" With only three pages of replies, a thread of this length would normally not be anywhere near the top of the most active threads. The original poster simply wants to know if others would eat a turkey that had sat out on the counter for more than three hours before being roasted. There is not a whole lot to say on this topic and most replies are just variations of saying "yes" as the vast majority of posters would not hesitate to eat the turkey. A couple of of posters who are gun-shy due to previous bouts with food poisoning would avoid it, but self-described food handling experts in the thread assured that as long as the turkey was properly cooked, it would be fine. Multiple posters weighed in to say that this was not an uncommon practice and was not an issue.

Yesterday's most active thread — first in number of views and second in number of replies — was titled, "Yes, we love our families. But: Petty Vents 2022" and posted in the "Family Relationships" forum. The original poster doesn't really explain the purpose of the thread, but I guess that is implied by the title. Based on the original poster's telling of her Thanksgiving trip to her parents home, the original poster is a perfect guest yet her mother is inexplicably upset. Apparently, the biggest issue causing family discord is pillowcases. The original poster said "petty vents" in her title and this and the few replies that I bothered to read live up to that description. I have no idea how this thread managed such popularity. I really couldn't force myself to read more than one or two posts in this thread which, if it were a Netflix series, would be labeled as a "slow burn". But, frankly, "burn" might be giving it too much credit. "Slow smoldering" maybe?

The top thread in both number of replies and number of views is titled, "Why do I find it annoying when childfree people say they are tired?" and posted in the "General Parenting Discussion" forum. The original poster complains that individuals who don't have children occasionally stay out late and then complain later that they didn't get enough sleep. This bothers the original poster because, due to being the parent of young children, she hasn't had a good night's sleep in years. Having been there, done that, I am not completely unsympathetic to the original poster and I can understand the urge to vent on an anonymous parenting forum. But, I know from experience that such threads are not going to be well-received. The thread is nine pages, very few of which I will bother to read. But, based on the few posts I skimmed over, the replies seem to be lots of variations of telling the original poster to quit whining with quite a few comments about the lack of understanding of non-parents for the plight of parents sprinkled in. A common phenomenon on DCUM when a poster complains about having things more difficult than someone else, is that posters describe others who have things even worse. So, of course that happens in this thread as well. The original poster has three kids and hasn't slept well in years? Well, another poster has four children and hasn't had a good night's sleep in decades. It's the old, "I walked six miles to school in 4 feet of snow uphill both ways" routine played out in the context of parenting. And, to be sure, on DCUM no matter how bad you think your situation might be, there will be someone who is personally experiencing or knows someone who is experiencing something worse. You will never get the gold medal for suffering on this website. I suppose there is the odd poster who feels better knowing that others have it worse then them, but such posters are probably not starting this type of thread in the first place.

The most active thread yesterday in both number of replies and number of views was titled, "What do you think : Boomers climbed up the ladder and pulled it up after them." and posted in the "Money and Finances" forum. I've written before that I really dislike generational labels like "boomers" and "millennials" which I consider to be reductive, generally inaccurate, and a clear sign of lazy thinking. So, I had low expectations for this thread and, without reading every post, can only deduce that they were not low enough. The original poster couldn't be bothered to write a substantive post, simply claiming that the title reflects something that has been "posted around". The responses appear to be a collection of cliched and tired arguments and, if there in an insightful post in the bunch, I missed it. Folks, the last few decades have been a pattern of the rich getting richer and the poor getting poorer. What tenuously remains of the middle class is busy arguing about CRT and gender identity while their pockets get picked with increasing regularity. If you believe that this is either the fault of gray-haired fuddy-duddies who refuse to retire or a bunch of young whippersnappers who think they know everything, you are missing the big picture entirely. You are both in the same boat. On a broad basis, it would be nice if some of those who went to college when it could be paid for with a Summer job understood what a similar education costs today and it wouldn't hurt for the youngsters to understand that 65 year olds are not hanging on to their jobs simply because they hate golf and have nothing better to do. But, threads like this never achieve that goal. If anything, both sides of the debate end up giving more credibility to their mutual stereotypes. Frankly, the only acceptable reply to a thread like this is "LOL" or whatever trendy emoji currently reflects that sentiment.

Today I'll look at the most active threads during the past week, skipping over any that were already mentioned in the daily posts. Given that this was the week of Thanksgiving, many of the most active threads addressed Thanksgiving-related topics. One, that was second in number of replies for the week and fifth in number of views was titled, "Should so called 'thanksgiving' be a national day of mourning?" and posted in the "Off-Topic" forum. The original poster reported that indigenous groups would be demonstrating at Plymouth Rock and asked if we should consider changing the name of the Thanksgiving holiday. At its root, this is a debate between myth and reality. On one side is the traditional version of Thanksgiving in which early Pilgrims feasted in celebration of their first harvest along with indigenous natives whose assistance had contributed to a successful growing season. On the other is the reality of the genocide committed against the natives by early Americans. Both perspectives are well represented in this thread. This has been an annual debate on DCUM and one evolution that I've noticed is that the revisionist arguments against the traditional view have themselves been countered by a third perspective. This viewpoint acknowledges the devastation wrought on the indigenous communities, but provides three justifications: 1) the same colonial practices have been conducted throughout history and are perfectly normal (i.e. might makes right); 2) the indigenous groups were also violent and conquered each other so they are in no position to complain; and 3) despite any negative aspects, the result is an advanced society based on laudable values (i.e the ends justify the means). This third perspective is partially debated in the thread in relation to proposed changes in Virginia's history curriculum which describe indigenous natives as "America’s first immigrants". In contrast to the posters arguing about history, several posters just want a day on which to express their thankfulness and resent the the day's has become little more than a national day of shopping.