The Most Active Threads since Friday

Because I took the weekend off from writing blog posts, today I'll look at the most active threads over the last three days. The most active thread during that period was titled, "Big 3 Nightmare" and posted in the "College and University Discussion" forum. The original poster laments that it has been a difficult year in terms of college acceptances for the top students at the "Big 3" private schools in the DC Metro area. I guess I should start off by noting that the term "Big 3" is controversial on DCUM with posters unable to agree on what schools should be included in the group, or even if "3" is the proper number with some arguing for a "Big 5" or another designation. At any rate, you can be sure that Sidwell Friends and Georgetown Day School will be included in any discussion of this sort and St. Albans is also repeatedly mentioned in the thread. But, it can be assumed that this discussion is not limited to those three schools. Beyond that, this thread is a perfect illustration of what I've coined as the "DCUM Paradox" in which parents choose schools or neighborhoods on the assumption that their choices will enhance their children's college acceptance opportunities. But, at least since I've been following this topic, it turns out that they end up competing with their classmates and students at similar schools who all have roughly the same qualifications, actually making acceptance more challenging as colleges seek diverse student bodies. As I have written before, no Ivy League school is going to accept the entire Sidwell senior class, so simply graduating from Sidwell is not going to be enough for an Ivy acceptance. Posters in this thread report that this year has been especially difficult with essentially only "hooked" students (i.e. athletes, underrepresented minorities, legacies, big donors, etc.) being accepted. Some posters say that even legacy status has not been enough. Several posters in this thread take a certain amount of joy in the idea that students privileged enough to attend these pricey schools are finding that their privilege has limits. Other posters argue that while the opportunities at the very top universities may be limited, these students still have very good chances at other highly-ranked universities. There is quite a bit of discussion about how much college admission opportunties figured into parent's choices of private schools. Some posters concede that was part of their calculus while others point to broader goals. Inevitably, the discussion leads to comparisons with local public schools with some posters suggesting some area public high schools have similar college acceptance records without the financial outlay. It is safe to say that argument was not universally accepted. However, some posters tell stories — possibly apocryphal — of parents switching their children to public schools for their final years or even enrolling in rural schools in order to improve their admissions chances. The bottom line is that while the top area private schools may have a lot going for them, they are clearly not guaranteed paths to the top universities.

Next was a thread in the "Off-Topic" forum titled, "Tons of people don’t tip Dashers or Shoppers". The original poster, who has recently started delivering for DoorDash and working as an Instacart shopper, complains that a significant number of customers never tip. Moreover, their inconsideration extends to not turning on lights or clearly marking their address, adding difficulty and potentially danger to the delivery job. DCUM has a famously anti-tipping contingent who are quick to argue that not tipping is appropriate and that nobody tips them for doing their job. Many members of this group show obvious disdain for any job that involves tipping with several urging the original poster to "get a real job". Others suggest that given the increased prices of food lately and the high service charges added on by the services, customers might simply not be able to afford tips. Moreover, those using WIC or EBT cards can't include a tip on the card, though some users say that food delivery is a luxury that such people shouldn't have available to them in the first place. Several posters argued in favor of tipping, often on practical grounds such as ensuring quick delivery of their order. The thread developed into a sort of "Ask Me Anything" or AMA with the original poster disclosing, among other things, that there is a local forum that lists non-tippers that drivers try to avoid. In additional, the original poster described using an app in which he can keep information about customers to avoid and can easily decide not to accept a delivery if the customer doen't tip. Based on the original poster's telling, the delivery services pay as little as possible to the delivery people who rely on their own vehicles, pay for the gas they use, and frequently risk tickets in places where parking is difficult. Therefore, without a tip, the delivery folks can actually lose money. On the other hand, many customers who are paying inflated prices for food and a significant service charge, often resent being expected to pay an additional tip. Again, based on the original poster's telling, the non-tippers are likely to experience worse or even no service as those doing the deliveries learn to avoid them. Though at least one proud non-tipper gleefully claims to never tip and still get good service.

Third was a thread titled, "SIL won't allow nephew to propose to his GF". Originally posted in the "Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)", I just moved the thread to the more appropriate "Family Relationships" forum. The original poster says that her 23-year-old nephew who is studying for an MBA in another state wants to propose to his college girlfriend because she will not move in with him unless they are committed. The original poster's sister-in-law won't allow him to propose and the nephew has asked the original poster and her husband to intervene on his behalf. Several posters question how a mother can prevent her adult son from proposing if he wants to and suggest that this is a sign of weakness on the nephew's part. Others argue that since the mother is paying for the MBA studies, she is perfectly justified in calling the shots. Some posters argue that the mother's behavior demonstrates that she would be a terrible mother-in-law and that this is a huge red flag to the girlfriend indicating that she should end the relationship. However, the vast majority of the posters tell the original poster to simply stay out of it and mind her own business. I wondered how a thread on this topic could get so long and the answer appears to be multifaceted. Partly the length is due to posters getting diverted to related topics such as the nephew's age being surprisingly young to be studying for a MBA and even the value of an MBA. Another topic was the proper age for having children with many posters thinking this couple was too young and others thinking they were of a good age. Discussion somehow even got sidetracked to Bill Gate's daughter. The other reason for the thread's length is that the original poster occasionally kept the thread going with random commments that were not exactly sock puppeting, but pretty close. She may be angling for this blog post. If so, mission accomplished.

The final thread at which I'll look today was posted in the "General Parenting Discussion" forum and titled, "Mimosas at Birthday Party". The original poster says that she recently hosted a late-morning birthday party for which her child's kindergarten class was invited. Both children and adults attended and in addition to pizza and other food, the original poster provided mimosas and beer. She described getting strange reactions from some adults when she mentioned the drinks and wondered if having alchohol available was weird. As could be expected, posters weighed in on both sides. Several posters said that mimosas would be appreciated and not unusual in their experience. Others felt alchohol would not be appropriate and worried about drinking and driving. Even those who thought having the drinks available was strange said they would not have been rude about it. Later the thread attracted posters who indicated that having alchohol for the adults was not only not strange, but would actually be expected. Several said they could not remember the last party they attended at which alchohol was not served. I had to laugh at one point when the original poster expressed surprise that her thread was getting so much response because her previous threads had garnered no more than five responses. She thanked everyone and sort of attempted to wrap things up. That was at the top of page 4 and the thread is currently on page 12. Imagine how she will feel if she sees her thread included in today's blog post? Eventually the thread turned in to little more than an exchange of personal insults with some pro-alcohol posters accusing the non-drinkers of being provincial and/or ugly and non-drinkers accusing the drinkers of being drunks and also ugly.