2024

Because the top four most active threads yesterday were all ones that I've already discussed, I'll start with the fifth most active thread which was titled, "What's weird about where you are staying - Thanksgiving 2024 edition" and posted in the "Family Relationships" forum. As the original poster suggests by including a designation of the edition of this thread, topics of this sort are an annual tradition on DCUM. There will likely be a series of similar threads during the holiday season. Several posters didn't have any interesting stories to add to the thread, but joined to encourage others to post and to say how much they enjoyed these annual threads. The original poster of this thread is visiting her mother-in-law who keeps her house so cold that the original poster is freezing despite being wrapped up in a blanket. In addition, the original poster's mother-in-law insists on hosting Thanksgiving even though she hates cooking and does not have a full-sized oven. The original poster ends up doing the cooking which is a struggle in the circumstances. This set off a series of posts complaining about dull knives, old spices, and room temperatures that were either too cold or too hot. One notable post involved a new requirement for the poster and her family to wear paper booties inside the poster's in-laws' house. She thought that her mother-in-law might have suddenly become a neat freak, but it turned out that she had adopted three rescue dogs that had gone to the bathroom all over the house. The booties were to protect them from the stains that covered the carpets. The temperature at which those hosting Thanksgiving keep their homes was an especially big topic this year. There were posters who reported being forced to wear jackets inside the house because it was kept so cold and other posters who were sweltering because they were visiting homes that were kept too hot. In some cases, posters resorted to staying in hotels due to the temperature of the house. In some other cold houses, posters snuck in space heaters or electric blankets. I laughed at the poster who is stuck sleeping in a "little tikes fireman bed that was probably made in 1987". On top of that, the house is in the middle of nowhere in Wisconsin and doesn't appear to have heat in her room. In some cases, posters were actually hosting for the holiday, and their complaints were about their guests. One of the funnier examples was a poster who left her mother-in-law alone in the house for a couple of hours. The mother-in-law then asked in front of the entire family what was in "the red container in the basement freezer", suggesting that she had snooped through the entire house while the others were out. Based on other posts, it seems that snooping mother-in-laws are not uncommon. As for the contents of the red container, as of this writing, that remains a mystery.

The Taylor Swift thread that I discussed on Monday continued as the most active thread yesterday. After that were mostly political threads. The first of those was titled, "A message from PA relatives: Stop sending your political canvassers from Maryland", and, of course, posted in the "Political Discussion" forum. The original poster says that he has relatives in York County, Pennsylvania who are registered as independents but have been leaning toward voting for Trump. Recently they have been visited by three different groups of vote canvassers who they believe came from Maryland and who knew nothing of local politics. They were offended by Marylanders telling them how to vote. The original poster then advises those who want "left progressive policies and crime and immigration" to stay in the "Baltimore/PG/Silver Spring echo chamber". Most of those replying are not particularly sympathetic to either the original poster or his relatives. Several posters suggest that if the original poster's relatives are going to vote for Trump anyway, nothing is to be gained by stopping the canvassing. They ask if stopping canvassing will cause the relatives to change their vote. Personally, I am sympathetic to people not wanting to be disturbed by strangers coming to their door. But the original poster's relatives have the option of not answering the door or quickly telling the canvassers that they are not interested and ending the conversation. Moreover, if the original poster is representing his relatives' views that anyone from Maryland is a "left progressive" who is in favor of crime, they probably could benefit by being further informed about Democratic policies. The number one motivating issue among Democrats is abortion rights, followed by preserving democracy and affordable healthcare. These are mainstream issues on which Democrats have broad support. You don't have to live in Silver Spring or Baltimore to agree with the Democrats' positions on these issues which are probably even popular in York County. A poster who said that he lives in Maryland said that he took his kids to canvas in Pennsylvania this weekend. Based on his experience, the encounters with local residents were very brief and didn't involve much more than asking if the residents were registered to vote and wanted any information about the election. Nobody asked about local issues and those who they visited would have had no way of knowing the poster and his kids were from Maryland. It doesn't appear that the original poster made any additional contributions to this thread. The thread itself mostly devolved to a simple debate about various unrelated topics such as whether former President, current cult leader, and convicted felon Donald Trump is a threat to democracy or a popular figure who deserves to win the presidency. Most of the posts could easily have been posted in other threads and many of them probably were duplicates.

The most active thread yesterday was titled, "Svelte teen girls -- being the ugly duckling in a school of swans" and posted in the "Tweens and Teens" forum. The original poster says that her daughter just started as a freshman at a new private high school. The family is towards the lower end of the economic spectrum of the school's students, something that is apparent due to the family's older cars and the fact that both parents work. But what really appears to be bothering the original poster's daughter is her weight. Most of the girls in the school, according to the original poster, are uniformly thin and athletic. The original poster's daughter, on the other hand, has a body mass index of 25 and is not interested in sports. The original poster asks for advice about how to encourage her daughter to be more active and eat healthier. I am not sure what to make of this thread because almost immediately the original poster, without mentioning that she was the original poster, posted a message saying that the daughter shouldn't try to complete with the other girls. In another follow-up post, again without identifying herself, the original poster blamed weight gain on "endocrine disruptors" rather than over-eating. Even in posts in which she indicated that she was the original poster, the original poster didn't seen particularly receptive to advice. So this thread may have been a waste of everyone's time. The advice that was offered was mainly to convince her daughter to participate in at least one sport. Some posters suggested that if the girl didn't want to participate in school sports, she might pick up an activity after school such as dance. Other posters questioned whether this school is the right environment for the original poster's daughter. They suggested that the issue is not her daughter's weight, but how she fits in. The original poster had cited a number of issues that might cause fitting in to be difficult beyond weight. As a result, posters had advice concerning how to help her daughter fit in better. Others suggested changing schools. Some posters were suspicious of how the other girls were all remaining so thin, suggesting that it might be attributed to eating disorders, ADHD medicine, or controlling mothers. The topic of weight is always controversial on DCUM, especially when involving children and even more when involving girls. As such, posters had strong disagreements about what to do about the girl's weight. Some argued that she was not overweight and, therefore, this didn't need to be addressed. Others, as is common, attributed weight gain purely to eating and suggested that the original poster's daughter should simply eat less. Other posters had complex theories about diet and what should or shouldn't be eaten. Some posters strongly urged the original poster to do all that she can to avoid having her daughter becoming obsessed with her image, her size, or her eating. Instead they suggested keeping her busy with various activities and off the Internet.

The most active thread over the weekend was titled, "Olympics Opening Ceremony" and posted in the "Entertainment and Pop Culture". This thread started without much drama. Posters seemed to enjoy the opening ceremony, though a few were put off by the beheaded Marie Antoinette that appeared at the beginning of the Gojira musical segment. While there was considerable praise for Lady Gaga, there was considerable criticism of Kelly Clarkson and Peyton Manning. Celine Dion was a big hit among posters whereas Snoop Dogg seemed to elicit nothing but criticism. But, then, there were rumblings of dissatisfaction. A rumor that American conservatives were bothered by what they thought were Satanic references in the ceremony. Then complaints that gay people, drag queens, trans gender people, and other colorful personalities had been included in a mockery of "The Last Supper" painting by Leonardo da Vinci which portrays the Biblical Last Supper. Soon this had turned into a full-blown avalanche of resentment. This was a mockery of Christianity, argued poster after poster. They would never do this to Muslims said posters who know absolutely nothing about French-Muslim relations (I suggest that they look into the National Rally party and its current popularity in France). Posters were certain that the French had intentionally gone out of their way to insult Christians, and American Christians in particular. It was a full-blown freakout. Posters were swearing off both the Olympics and France and condemning their infection by the "woke mind virus". There was so much talk about Satan that I assumed that he must be participating in one of the sports. But other posters assured us that he does not exist. Some posters argued that it was not "The Last Supper", but rather the Festival of Dionysus that was depicted. Another poster explained that it portrayed a painting by Jan van Bijlert named "Le Festin des Dieux", which depicts various Greek gods participating in a banquet on Mount Olympus. But, the outraged posters were not about to stop being outraged and simply would not accept this explanation. Moreover, they soon found an additional controversy concerning whether one of the participants in the Last Supper/Le Festin des Dieux event had displayed a private part. At least one poster who was initially convinced that this was the case later agreed that it was more likely a tear in his costume. But, generally, the opinion of upset right-wing Christians is that the Olympics had been turned into a global grooming event aimed at turning children trans and mocking Christians. If being outraged were an Olympic event, MAGA Christians would have taken the Gold, Silver, and Bronze medals.

The most active thread yesterday was again the Fairfax County Public Schools boundaries thread that I've already discussed. The most active thread after that one was titled, "Young Men are Becoming More Sexist - It's About Status", and posted in the "Political Discussion" forum. The original poster quotes from transcripts of a podcast discussion about attitudes toward women held by young men around the world. According to the discussion, young men are becoming more sexist than older men. This is somewhat of a contradiction because by most measures, young men are more supportive of women's equality, being more likely to support women pursuing any job or holding elected office. Young men are more likely to recognize that women have equal capabilities. But, according to the discussion, there is increased resentment towards women among younger men than among older men. This is attributed to young men's desire for status represented by such things as college education, purchasing a home, and having a pretty wife or girlfriend. Women have been out-performing men educationally for sometime now and the difficult housing market is obviously effecting young people, both male and female. But, it is the last factor, finding a girlfriend, with which young men struggle the most because greater financial and social independence among women has resulted in less pressure among them to find a mate. In short, women are now able to be more picky and young men resent them for it. Moreover, when those resentful young men turn to the Internet, they find welcoming communities eager to encourage and feed their resentment. Topics of this sort have been fairly common in the relationship forum and I have written about several such threads that were among the most active. While I would never argue that the discussions in the relationship forum reach Socratic Club levels, they are head and shoulders above the level of discourse displayed here. Not for the first time, I feel like the political forum is nearly useless. It is filled with automatons able to do little more than repeat the handful of talking points with which they have apparently been programmed. For instance, it is disappointing but not surprising to see that among the first responses were attempts to turn the discussion into one about trans people. It takes a bit to unpack how the thread got there, but what you need to understand is that to some DCUM posters, it is not traditional sexist ideas such as women being inferior to men, their place being in the home, and their duty being to bear children, that threatens women's rights. Rather, it is offering support to trans people that is the real threat, and apparently in these posters' view, a much bigger threat in fact. Similarly, plenty of posters were eager to assure readers that liberal men are actually the biggest misogynists, their primary infraction being that they are not honest about their misogyny as apparently are conservative men. It is always possible to take any issue and wedge it though the prism of your particular political views — and plenty of posters in this thread do exactly that — but doing so does not result in a very enlightening discussion. As such, this discussion is not particularly enlightening.

Quite a few of the most active threads over the weekend were ones that I have already discussed. This seems to be an emerging trend as the same thing happened last week. But, that was not the case for the most active thread. Titled, "Help me understand Republican women in their 30s and 40s" and posted in the "Political Discussion" forum, not only had I not previously discussed the thread, I hadn't even read it. Now it is 40 pages long and there is no way that I will read the whole thing. The original poster states that she understood Bush-era Republicans, but "cannot wrap my mind around how any remotely educated woman today could consider herself a part of the Republican party." She asks others to explain the appeal of the Republican Party to women. Based on some of the responses I read in the thread, many posters — and perhaps the original poster as well — assume that the Republican Party's hostility toward reproductive rights and the former President, current cult leader, and convicted felon Donald Trump's history of brutish behavior toward women (which includes being found liable of sexually assaulting E. Jean Carroll) would push women away from the party. Recent election results have demonstrated that there may be some truth in this theory, though the trend is clearly not universal. Based on the responses from Republican women in the thread, I don't think that Republican women are all that different than Republican men. The traditional view of Republicans is that they are motivated by interest in low taxes, business-friendly regulations, tough on crime measures, and a strong defense. That view is outdated, or if not outdated, those concerns taken a backseat to other priorities. Washington Post columnist Philip Bump recently wrote about Pew survey results regarding race, immigration, and gender. Bump's findings are consistent with the posts by Republican women in this thread. While crime remains a concern, they tend to be much more motivated by cultural issues. In each of the three topics, race, immigration, and gender, the Republican women feel that they are being disadvantaged by Democratic policies. Like White men, White women frequently believe that the interests of non-White people ar put above theirs. One of the first Republican women posters to respond in the thread cited the claim that White women have "privilege" as something she resents, implying that it hurts the employment opportunities for White women. Immigration in Republican thinking is often connected to crime, reminiscent of Trump's claim that Mexico was sending rapists and murderers to the US. But an equal concern seems to be the belief that Democrats are encouraging immigration in order to gain Democratic voters. Again, these women think that Democrats are putting the interests of others above theirs. The gender issue is more complicated. One would be inclined to think that the motivating issues around sex and gender would be reproductive rights, equality for women, and other women rights issues. But, again, Republican women see themselves as being disadvantaged in preference to others. In this case, transgender women who, these women believe, are men impinging on women's rights. In general, I think it is safe to say that Republican women, like Republican men, are primarily motivated by a series of issues which cause them to feel that their position in society is being eroded by trends towards diversity.

The most active thread yesterday was titled, "Does your community pool have a dress code?", and posted in the "Off-Topic" forum. The original poster complains that college "girls" home for the summer are all wearing thong bikini bottoms which she doesn't think are suitable for a family venue. The topic of how girls and women dress is always a bit touchy. Prom season routinely provokes threads complaining about the cuts of dresses. But, exchange swimwear for dresses and the debate is amplified exponentially. The thread is full of posters like the original poster who have no issue with nearly naked swimmers if they are confined to adult beaches, but don't really want their children exposed to such things. However, based on the replies in the thread, their concern would probably be more appropriate for their husbands and sons. A number of male posters, extolling the benefits of dark sunglasses, are quite happy to see as much of the young females bodies as the girls choose to expose. Several of these posters asked the original poster to identify the location of her pool, presumably so that they could come visit. Other posters, likely female, argue that the original poster should mind her own business and let girls dress as they please. Moreover, probably futilely, these posters also argued that others should not "ogle" women's bodies and if those like the original poster don't like how others are dressed, they should close their eyes. While the original poster's criticism was directed at college students, other posters said the same dress habits extend to even younger girls. A few posters commented that older women, including formerly heavy moms who have discovered Ozempic, are also flaunting their bodies. This provoked some posters to argue that skimpy swimwear should be left to the young. But others took the opposite view and expressed happiness that women with less than perfect bodies can get away with bikinis. Some posters who enjoy wearing revealing swimwear explained that they have great bodies and like the way they look in such outfits. As for being ogled, one poster was clear that she didn't care if others looked at her or not. Posters also disagreed on the motives for wearing thongs and similar attire. Many assumed it was the current style and the girls were following the trend. But others argued that such clothing had a practical application of minimizing tan lines. An entirely different debate broke out over men, with some posters arguing that if women are going to wear thongs, men should adopt "banana hammocks". But other posters found the thought of this appalling. A few of the moms in the thread suggested that their daughters were so uncomfortable with this trend toward revealing outfits that it might have contributed the growth of those identifying as non-binary.

The most active thread yesterday was titled, "I am sad for DD--this past weekend" and was posted in the "Tweens and Teens" forum. The original poster says that almost every kid she knows went to Viva Vienna with someone this weekend but neither her 13-year-old daughter nor her 15-year-old son, despite reaching out to friends, were able to find someone with whom to go. Moreover, they saw on social media that those same friends attended without them. The original poster feels sad for her kids and wants to remind parents to teach their kids to be inclusive. For those like me who had previously not heard of Viva Vienna, it is a three day festival in Vienna, Virginia that includes food, entertainment, amusement rides, and venders selling all sorts of things. I was prepared to be sympathetic to the original poster, especially when most of the responses were not very supportive and, in some cases, downright hostile. But then I noticed that the original poster had extensively sock puppeted responses, including her first reply in which she criticized the way girls at the event were dressed, calling them "low brow". The original poster's sock puppeting was quite bizarre actually. She posted with many different personas. At various times she was the parent of other kids who had been excluded, the parent of a kid who had attended, but without her good friend, and the mother of teen girls (as opposed to a girl and a boy as in the original post). I am not sure what the goal of the original poster might have been other than to guilt trip other parents. If so, she was not very effective. Most posters could not have been less receptive to her pleas to be inclusive. Moreover, if the original poster's sock puppeted posts can be believed, her kids have a history of being left out of this event. The original poster even claimed that previously they purposely planned to be out of town for the weekend so that they would not have to deal with the stress. Many of the other posters in the thread come across as uncaring or even mean. As a whole, this thread does very little to promote Vienna and I suspect that after reading this thread, more than one person may consider it a place to avoid. The carnival itself also got mixed reviews. In contrast to the importance the original poster placed on it, others didn't consider it to be much of an attraction. The basic tenor of the thread is, yes, it is sad to be left out but learning to deal with that is part of growing up. Moreover, posters cited multiple actions the original poster's kids could have taken to find others with whom to attend. As I read through the thread I kept hoping to learn why, if both of the original poster's kids had been left out, she only felt sorry for her daughter. But, sadly, this question was never answered. I suspect that, like many of the identities used by the original poster when sock puppeting, the son is a figment of the original poster's imagination. That would also explain why the two kids simply didn't go to the event together.

I took Memorial Day off from writing which means that today I will discuss the most active threads over the past four days. Many of the most active threads were ones that I've already discussed and will skip today. Frankly, the threads that were left over were not that interesting and it is kind of disappointing that they were popular. First among those was a thread titled, "Kate spending time with ‘birth family’". This thread was disappointing because it is about the British Royal Family, and more specifically, the Princess of Wales, Kate Middleton. That is guaranteed to attract crazies of all sorts. Moreover, the original poster did a spectacularly poor job with the original post. The original poster did not provide a link supporting the claim in the thread's title or provide any further information about the allegation made there. Instead, the original poster implied that the Princess had moved in with her parents, something that appears not to be true. Rather, the original poster seems to have misread, misunderstood, or misrepresented an article in "The Daily Beast". According to the Daily Beast article, the Princess will be spending time at Sandringham, the country house used by the Prince and Princess of Wales. The article explicitly says that Prince William and their children will be there as well because it is a school holiday. Her "birth family" will simply be visiting. But, why bother with the truth when fiction is so much more fun? Posters immediately engaged in all sorts of speculation that the Princess is dying, that she and William are divorcing, that William wants her out of the way so he can engage in affairs, and on and on. These Royal Family threads present a problem for me. I don't like them and would be happy to delete every one of them. But posters enjoy them and continually create them. If the threads involve either Kate Middleton or Megan Markle, they will provoke a slew of reports. There was a poster who was particularly determined in this case to report any post that she thought was even the slightest disparaging of Middleton. As such, this thread immediately became a headache. Anytime I got up from my computer I would return to find a mailbox full of reports. I quickly determined that I was not going to spend the Memorial Day weekend removing posts about the Princess of Wales, someone who will never read this website, has to deal with much more visible criticism daily, and is not going to be harmed in any way by a bunch of raving lunatics on DCUM. The result is nearly 40 pages of some of the most outlandish conspiracy theories that you can imagine. I finally locked the thread last night, mostly to save my email inbox from the hundreds of reports the thread was generating (mostly by a single poster). But at that time discussion was focused on a theory that the Palace had hired a "body double" to appear as Kate in a recent video. Intermixed between the various conspiracy theories were complaints by posters who are certain that Kate is near death but are upset that she is not publicly working until she takes her last breath.

It will be no surprise to anyone living in the DC region that yesterday's most active thread was about the Francis Scott Key Bridge collapse. Titled, "Key bridge in Baltimore collapses after cargo ship crashes into it" and posted in the "Off-Topic" forum, this was actually the second thread on the topic. The first had been posted about an hour earlier in the "Political Discussion" forum, but I locked that one since this is not really a political topic. The initial posts in the thread were mostly aimed at gathering and disseminating information about what had happened. But fairly quickly a number of topics emerged upon which posters focused throughout the thread. One of those involved tugboats with users questioning why the Dali — the ship that hit the bridge causing its collapse — was not under the control of tugboats at the time. While it later turned out that tugboats had initially been used, ships are sent on their own in that part of the river. Next was the question of cruise ships and what would happen to them. Some posters saw this topic as insensitive given the circumstances, but other users were concerned about Baltimore-based cruise ships that would not be able to return to port. Any ships in the harbor are trapped for the foreseeable future and the few Baltimore-based cruise ships at sea will land elsewhere and their passengers will be bussed to Baltimore. Probably the strangest divergence was that dealing with how to escape a car that has plunged into water. A surprising number of posters seem to have long-standing fears of traveling across bridges and described carrying life jackets and hammers for breaking windows when they have to cross large bridges. There was considerable discussion in the thread about the best ways to escape a car that has landed in the water or even the possibility of doing so. Some users touted various tools that are supposed to break windows of a submerged car while other posters said the tools would not work. It turns out that bridge authorities were able to stop vehicle traffic just prior to its collapse and it appears that no cars were traveling across the bridge at the time. The 6 deaths were all construction workers repairing potholes on the bridge who were not warned in time to escape. A topic that was discussed throughout the thread dealt with liability for the collapse. Almost immediately posters were eager to cast blame. Some suggested the bridge was poorly constructed and fell down too easily. Others suggested the port authority and the lack of the aforementioned tugboats were responsible. One poster, supported by a number of others, hypothesized that cost-cutting measures by the Dali's owners may have resulted in a lack of maintenance, leading to the power failure that sent the ship out of control. One thing this incident did was reveal the many-layered owner and management arrangements common among ships of this nature. There are so many different companies involved, with all likely pointing fingers at each other, that it will probably be difficult to determine exactly who is responsible for what. Posters also discussed the economic impact the closure of the port of Baltimore would have on the region. In addition, there was considerable sympathy for the workers who were lost in the collapse.