When nap schedules diverge
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Anonymous
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In a nanny share and wanting to transition toddler from two naps to one, but our nanny is resisting moving her morning nap later because that puts her out of sync with the other toddler's nap schedule and she won't have any break time. What do others do when they have two kids that don't have the same nap times? What are the reasonable expectations in terms of break time for the nanny? She's had 3-4 hours where they are both napping for months and I can understand why she wouldn't want them out of sync, but I'm grappling with how reasonable it is to try to artificially keep them napping at the same time.
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Anonymous
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How old is your child?
How old is the other child? Is your child fighting his morning nap? What time is he napping now? What time would you like to move his nap to? Does the nanny have other job duties that she must tend to while the children nap? Ideally it is nice to have about 90 minutes to clean up from the first part of the day, get ready for the next part, eat lunch and decompress. |
Anonymous
| Oops. You have a girl. My apologies for calling the little lady a him. |
Anonymous
| OP here - hopefully this doesn't sound snippy but I'm not asking you (or the nanny even for that matter) to determine whether she needs to transition to one nap. Assuming she does, how do people handle 2 kids with out of sync nap schedules, break time, etc.? |
Anonymous
It depends on whether the kid is ready to transition to 1 nap. Every situation is unique and you're unwilling to provide that information, so we can't really give you an answer. Best of luck to you (and your nanny). |
Anonymous
| Try to coordinate the best you can. Baby one has two naps 10-12 and 2-4. Baby one tries to go down around 11 and naps 11-1. Gives her a little break on both ends. |
Anonymous
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OP, are the kids in the share the same age? If so, then I'd be inclined to let the nanny try to keep them on the same nap schedule.
I have twins and we have always maintained the same schedule for both, even though one needs less nap time (so she wakes earlier now.) If the kids are at different ages/stages then try to work with the nanny (especially if she's experienced enough to have managed this before) to find a way to adjust your child's schedule in a way that is most manageable for her. I think this is one of the biggest areas where it's necessary to compromise in a nanny share so try to be as flexible as possible. (FWIW, my twins took two naps a day until they were past 2.) |
Anonymous
Wow. Not even interested in what your nanny (who spends most of your child's awake hours with her) has to say on the matter. Thank goodness I don't work for you. |
Anonymous
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Is your child ready for one nap??
Our sleep consultant said my nk needed 14 straight days of awake at nap time (put in bed and stayed awake for the nap). If after day 14 (straight, if on day 6 she napped we start back at zero), then she is ready to drop that nap. 18 months and still 2 two hr naps! |
Anonymous
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Why ask for advice if you're not going to take it.
12:03 asked great questions that could help others offer advice but you're unwilling to answer them. If your child is tired and crabby because YOU want and feel they are ready for one nap a day when they aren't and you are forcing the nanny to force the child to take one nap you will lose your nanny. Add to the fact you don't want her advice shows you don't value Her experience. It may be your child but your nanny most likely has more experience that would benefit all of you. I have 13 month old twins and some days they can both take one 3 hour nap but other days they or one need two naps a day. I trust my nanny to determine if they need one or two naps. You are ask about a break for the nanny and unless you are able to come home and give her a break you need to let her do a sleep schedule that will give her a break. Knowing how old each child is will help us help you. Also are they siblings or are you in a share? If you're in a share then you, the other parents, and the nanny need to sit down and try and figure out a schedule but go in knowing that your child and their sleep is just as important as the other child's. If you can't work with everyone on a schedule I would look into having your own nanny and ending the share, sending your child to go to daycare or stay home since you seem like you are the only one that knows your child. My children's nanny spends more time with them during the day and I will admit that she knows them better than I do and I hired her for her experience, advice, and because I knew she only does what's in the best interest of my children. |
Anonymous
| As a nanny, that would definitely not work for me. A share means you have to compromise. It's ridiculous to have one child on two naps and the other on one. I know the weather sucks right now but once it changes, they will never get outside. You'd have one child sleeping 9-11 and 1-4 and the other sleeping 11-1 or 2. That simply isn't practical. I put kids on a schedule that works for both them and me; you do what you want on weekends. My old family kept doing 2 naps on weekends when it was so obvious the child was ready for one nap so I switched her over and that was that. |
Anonymous
Can you explain this more? How long do you leave here there to see if she stays awake? Is it like 20 min? Because of its for the whole time, that seems weird. Most of us would fall asleep if you put us in bed with nothing to do even if we were not tired. |
Anonymous
I don't think there is anything weird about an 18 mth old taking two solid naps. Mine both did that until well past two. |
Anonymous
| OP, there are many reasons to keep naps in sync that have nothing to do with nanny's break. Your post really sounds as if that is what you think she is most concerned about, which tells me that your real issue is having a nanny you don't trust, not nap schedules. |
nannydebsays
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OP, is your child screaming/crying/fussing during one of her naps? Does that happen every single day? If so, then she may be ready to transition. How old is your DD? How long do each of her naps last? When does she go to bed at night? How about the other child? Does s/he still fall asleep easily for 2 naps? What are your nanny's hours? Is she working a typical 11+ hour day? If so, I can completely understand her need (not want, but actual NEED) to have the naps synced. Otherwise, if she is a normal human, but the end of the day she will be exhausted and unable to provide the care she wants to provide her charges. If I had 2 kids that didn't have at least one synced nap, I would work very hard to make that happen. Being constantly "on" when caring for kids is exhausting. OP, would you be willing to go non-stop caring for 2 toddlers for as long as you want to require your nanny to do so? And long amounts of break time are generally standard when kids are under 3 or so, and the younger the kids, the longer the amount of down time. In a share, especially when the share is always at one house, that either means the host family gets to pay a little more and have nanny do kid related chores, or that both families pay the same, and nanny doesn't do laundry. In a single family nanny-care set-up, nanny will generally spend some time during nap doing kid related chores. If I were your nanny, and your child was truly ready for 1 nap only, I would also ask the other family to let me start "training" their child to go to one nap. I would work for about 2 - 3 weeks re-setting both kids schedules, until your child was napping 1 - 4, and the other child was napping 9 - 10 and 2 - 4. Good luck! |