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Anonymous
"And if you're the PP who au paired for multiple crappy families, then you're rather masochistic.

Really... don't apply to be an au pair and accept your contract/match, THEN start whining that it's too little money. "

She wasn't the poster with the 5 HF, I am. I don't think I am masochistic, I don't put ALL HFs in the same bag just because some happen to want to bend the rules.
I overall had great experiences (with it's up and down as you can tell) but I genuinely loved my host kids and created a special bond with them that still last now.

I wanted to shed light on the fact that, given the opportunity, many host families will try and get as much of their Au Pair as possible from their Au Pair knowing full well that she is dependant on them.
Not that many 18yo have the guts to stand up against her host parents when she knows full well that it could get her, not only fired, but also homeless. The American Program offer some sort of support
from AuPairs but that's not the case in the rest of the world, making some young women very vulnerable.

I have met Au Pairs who had to escape abuse or sexual harassment from their host dad and were made to leave either in a rush or kicked out by the host family (often host mother) the second they spoke up about it
with no where to go.

I definitely don't do Au Pairing for the money, in Europe, you earn less than half what Au Pairs in America earn with a cost of life that's almost twice as high as the cost of life in the US.
I Au Pair because I genuinely love children and love learning about different cultures and living the local life through living with a local family as it's an experience I can't have travelling other ways (and I do travel extensively).
My complaint regarding money is that many family set a contract with their Au Pair that they end up breaking which mean that what may have appeared as a correct deal initially end up being a total rip-off.

If I accept to work for let's say 300$ month for 30hours a week, it's peanuts but it's the average deal in europe. If I accept that, it is normal that I expect to be working "ONLY" 30hours a week.
Now if my family suddenly start doubling my weekly hours, meaning that I find myself in a position where I cannot even enjoy the cultural experience (main reason why Au Pairs aren't paid the minimum wage rates)
and where I end up doing 50/55 hours for the same amount of money, it is normal that I find it grossly unfair.
It's not uncommon for me to have seen host families (on other Host Family forums) discussing leaving their Au Pair at home with the kids for an entire week while they holiday, either for free or for a ridiculously low amount of money as '' half the kids will be at school most of the day anyway, and they will all be sleeping at night so it won't be that much different from a normal week''.

I think if your boss contracted you for a project for a certain price and then you discovered that the project was actually doubled what you initially discussed but are yet expected to work for the exact same price, you would be furious? Now what if your boss was also your landlord, your roommate and had, on top of his ability to make you lose your job and visa, the ability to make you lose the place you live in and that is "home" in a foreign country. Wouldn't you be less likely to rock the boat as easily and would probably take into account the consequences of actually speaking up for yourself? Especially if you had dreamed for that experience all your life? You may say no now but a lot of 18 definitely don't have this strength.


I am not traumatized by my Au Pair experience but I do wish to see more put in place to protect Au Pairs from bad host families and see more horrible host families getting kicked out of the programs instead of being given chances after chances to redeem themselves, ruining the experience of many Au Pairs who entered the program from the right reasons and could have made fantastic Au Pairs for great families.







Anonymous
I don't know you personally but I could imagine having a discussion with HP in rage.
I wouldn't choose a family if they would be offering me basement. I thought that if the room will be on the same floor I would be more equal. Standards of basement on the globe differs. Still living in basement doesn't sound cool. Please check if it's warm enough because the counsellor might supervised the space it in the summer. Please ask Au pair if she is comfortable.
I could pay and finally I did for the phone, food, public transportation. I wish I would do that faster.
Au pair has a choice-taking classes or not. I wouldn't like to remind HP about reimbursement if they know that the course is over. I think that would be cool if HF would pay for it just like you wrote.
I was thinking of having internet so I wouldn't get lost with kids or by myself more than streaming movies.
I didn't have separate bathroom or tv if it will cool you down.
HF shares space and Internet in a house (electricity, gas, water, soap). The rest not really.

Cost of preschool differs if HP has 2 kids that are twins in preschool age.
Comparison:
1200$ a month for 12h care x2=2400$
700$ a month for 4h care x2+ Au pair 783$=2183$

Reimbursement for education of course and programme fees. However if Au pair I scheduled during seasonal breakes and few weekends HF still winners.
Please spreading disinformation.

Anonymous
Our Au Pair has a basement bedroom with a little living room area, kitchenette, and en suite bathroom. She is the envy of our cluster for that. It's about 400 square feet (the other half of the basement is the kids playroom and our laundry room. I promise you she would NOT want to have her room on the same floor as my husband and the kids.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I don't know you personally but I could imagine having a discussion with HP in rage.
I wouldn't choose a family if they would be offering me basement. I thought that if the room will be on the same floor I would be more equal. Standards of basement on the globe differs. Still living in basement doesn't sound cool. Please check if it's warm enough because the counsellor might supervised the space it in the summer. Please ask Au pair if she is comfortable.
I could pay and finally I did for the phone, food, public transportation. I wish I would do that faster.
Au pair has a choice-taking classes or not. I wouldn't like to remind HP about reimbursement if they know that the course is over. I think that would be cool if HF would pay for it just like you wrote.
I was thinking of having internet so I wouldn't get lost with kids or by myself more than streaming movies.
I didn't have separate bathroom or tv if it will cool you down.
HF shares space and Internet in a house (electricity, gas, water, soap). The rest not really.

Cost of preschool differs if HP has 2 kids that are twins in preschool age.
Comparison:
1200$ a month for 12h care x2=2400$
700$ a month for 4h care x2+ Au pair 783$=2183$


Reimbursement for education of course and programme fees. However if Au pair I scheduled during seasonal breakes and few weekends HF still winners.
Please spreading disinformation.



Stop trying to use math to justify your point because it simply doesn't work. You're on an American forum, so most of us are also in the DC area and what I describe below is our normal:

I pay 1300 a month for 6 hours of care (you said preschool age) for 5 days a week for 1 child that does NOT include breaks and summers. My second child would match the $700 a month for 4 hours of care BUT that preschool is only 3 days a week. The AP is not $783 a month. The agency fees alone were about $8,500 or divided by 12 is $708. This is $708 that the AP has absolutely no clue about. Let's add the stipend, approximately $784/month (196x4). This matches your $783. 708 + 784 = $1,492 for the AP for agency fees and stipend WITHOUT the additional costs of housing, food, car insurance, etc.

So, sure, paying for an AP is great for 2.5 months out of the summer. However, with 2 kids and the 9.5 months of school year, I pay $1,200 + $700 (2 preschools) + $1,492 AP. That's $3,392 a month for 9.5 months of out the year at MINIMUM. That's $35,954/year MINIMUM.

Daycare, as you describe for up to 12 hours, does not have the hassle of an AP like you that feels like she's being taken advantage of and is ultimately cheaper. $1,320 first child and $1,510 younger child = $2,830/month. 2830 x 12 = 33,960/year. I don't even have to pack a lunch or snacks for the kids. My house also stays cleaner.

I know it's hard for you to believe, but we have an AP for reasons OTHER than financial benefit as the above will show you. Most families do have their kids in preschool rather than home all day/all year round. I sent my younger child to part time preschool at 1. My older child had a school-based playgroup at 1 and part time preschool at 2, then full time preschool starting at 3.

I'm sick of APs discounting the benefits they get from their host families and also being completely ignorant of the agency fees. You might not have agencies in other countries, but this is a DC forum, so that comparison to being an AP in Europe doesn't really work here especially if APs get some protections/benefits from the existence of agencies, such as having someone to complain to about abuse.
Anonymous
There should be a State Department hotline to collect all the unresolved case of abuse.

Most au pairs simply ended up getting sent home if they dare to report abuse to the agencies. It's good for the agencies if they get to do a brand new match.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:There should be a State Department hotline to collect all the unresolved case of abuse.

Most au pairs simply ended up getting sent home if they dare to report abuse to the agencies. It's good for the agencies if they get to do a brand new match.

*cases, not case
end up, not ended up
Anonymous
I don't know where that poster is getting the idea that APs cost HFs $783/month. HFs must pay the agency fee (usually over $7000, as well as the educational stipend. My costs between fees and stipends were $1700 per month when we had an AP. Families are not just paying a stipend to the AP. They are paying approximately the same amount of money each month to the agency that they pay the AP. I don't understand why this very basic concept is so hard to grasp.
Anonymous
All the haters love to focus on the stipend which is chump change compared to the rest of HF costs.
Anonymous
Au pair does light housework:
Cleaning kids rooms,
Organizing toys,
Taking kids wherever they want,
Cleaning dishes,
Washing clothes,shoes,diapers,
Preparing food,
Doing shopping,
Might going out with pet.

Ask someone from kindergarten doing that. Good luck.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:All the haters love to focus on the stipend which is chump change compared to the rest of HF costs.


Fact is, you have the potential to get 45 hrs of childcare for the Federal minimum wage of 7.25/hr. This is inclusive of ALL fees plus stipend. This is dirt cheap and in the DC area you couldn't even get that out of an illegal immigrant.
Anonymous
"Fact is, you have the potential to get 45 hrs of childcare for the Federal minimum wage of 7.25/hr. This is inclusive of ALL fees plus stipend."


This just isn't true.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:There should be a State Department hotline to collect all the unresolved case of abuse.

Most au pairs simply ended up getting sent home if they dare to report abuse to the agencies. It's good for the agencies if they get to do a brand new match.


There is.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I don't know where that poster is getting the idea that APs cost HFs $783/month. HFs must pay the agency fee (usually over $7000, as well as the educational stipend. My costs between fees and stipends were $1700 per month when we had an AP. Families are not just paying a stipend to the AP. They are paying approximately the same amount of money each month to the agency that they pay the AP. I don't understand why this very basic concept is so hard to grasp.


This is an accurate description of our costs as well.
Anonymous
+1

Not to mention the cost of time. Working moms take several days off from work to help get AP set up in the USA. Bank, social security office, DMV, tours of the area, etc, etc that we would not have to do with a local nanny. I never see this part factored into the program "costs" to the HF.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:There should be a State Department hotline to collect all the unresolved case of abuse.

Most au pairs simply ended up getting sent home if they dare to report abuse to the agencies. It's good for the agencies if they get to do a brand new match.


There is.

If there is in fact, please post it here.
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