Anyone lese think this Nanny Forum message board has gotten absolutely ridiculous?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm really uncomfortable with the name-calling and labeling on this board - and it definitely comes from both the nannies and MBs. As employees, nannies are always in the weaker position so I tend to agree with them more but, regardless, there is no need for the pettiness or downright meanness.

Same with the parent forum?

NP here who shares the same sentiment as first PP. Yes, same as with the parenting forum although I think the dynamic is a bit different. When parents attack each other over sleep training, breastfeeding, working vs SAH, etc., it just makes them look foolish and if I knew them in real life, I'd look down on them. Unfortunately on the nanny website, whether these posters are trolls or not, because they identify as either a nanny or MB, it negatively portrays each side of the nanny relationship. So you have people who think nannies are psycho and entitled based on the few on here/the trolls who can't have a normal discussion, and you have people think that all MBs are abusive, nasty bitches.

I'm now an MB and I will be totally honest that I was hesitant to hire a nanny after reading some of the posts on this site. Seemed like no matter what I did, even if I paid a good wage, gave time off, health benefits, etc., I'd always be viewed as an evil bitch. Pretty much the only reason I ended up getting a nanny is because I know some IRL (one of my best friends, a few people I met in nursing school who are now specialty nannies) and they helped me figure out the ins and outs of the nanny world. It is pretty bad when posters feel like they can't ask normal questions (about pay, benefits, etc) without having to worry about the onslaught of insults hurtled their way. Same goes for nannies who feel like they can't post a question about how to deal with an issue without having insults thrown at them.

+1000. This is it exactly. People are just as nasty on the parenting forum but it doesn't make an entire group of people look bad as it does on the nanny forum.

Or jeopardize their employment opportunities. Parents come here looking for advise, and to possibly hire someone, and im sure some of this nonsense runs them off. I found my last position here, and these employers have been the most knowledgeable about norms in this industry and I've really appreciated that they use this resource, but I'm sure it sometimes scares the hell out of them as it does me.

+1. I'm an MB who fortunately didn't discover DCUM until we moved here a year ago. Prior to that we had some wonderful nannies so I knew they existed. If I was looking to hire a nanny for the first time DCUM would not have done the nannies any favors because besides being concerned about the quality of nannies I would have gone into the whole process completely jaded by the attitudes I've seen on here. I'm sure the same is true for 1st time nannies who don't know DCUM MBs are not the norm either.

[Anonymous]

From my perspective as a nanny, I found the MB's on this board to be the most offensive and horrid. Had I found this board before I became a nanny - I wouldn't have. Women telling nannies to shut up and put up because that is what they are paid to do; women telling other women that they should he embarrassed to work in another woman's home; women telling other women that they are lazy and entitled if they POST that they are thinking of asking for a raise.

I've found more offensive posts from mother's than I have from nannies. And I have often written responses against a nanny's position and told them when I believed they were wrong. I've been shocked at what some mother's on this board think of the women who care day in and day out for their children.

[Anonymous]

From my perspective as a nanny, I found the MB's on this board to be the most offensive and horrid. Had I found this board before I became a nanny - I wouldn't have. Women telling nannies to shut up and put up because that is what they are paid to do; women telling other women that they should he embarrassed to work in another woman's home; women telling other women that they are lazy and entitled if they POST that they are thinking of asking for a raise.

I've found more offensive posts from mother's than I have from nannies. And I have often written responses against a nanny's position and told them when I believed they were wrong. I've been shocked at what some mother's on this board think of the women who care day in and day out for their children.

Give examples, please, from actual MBs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

From my perspective as a nanny, I found the MB's on this board to be the most offensive and horrid. Had I found this board before I became a nanny - I wouldn't have. Women telling nannies to shut up and put up because that is what they are paid to do; women telling other women that they should he embarrassed to work in another woman's home; women telling other women that they are lazy and entitled if they POST that they are thinking of asking for a raise.

I've found more offensive posts from mother's than I have from nannies. And I have often written responses against a nanny's position and told them when I believed they were wrong. I've been shocked at what some mother's on this board think of the women who care day in and day out for their children.

Give examples, please, from actual MBs.

You may do your own search.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:From my perspective as a nanny, I found the MB's on this board to be the most offensive and horrid. Had I found this board before I became a nanny - I wouldn't have. Women telling nannies to shut up and put up because that is what they are paid to do; women telling other women that they should he embarrassed to work in another woman's home; women telling other women that they are lazy and entitled if they POST that they are thinking of asking for a raise.

I've found more offensive posts from mother's than I have from nannies. And I have often written responses against a nanny's position and told them when I believed they were wrong. I've been shocked at what some mother's on this board think of the women who care day in and day out for their children.

Agreed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:From my perspective as a nanny, I found the MB's on this board to be the most offensive and horrid. Had I found this board before I became a nanny - I wouldn't have. Women telling nannies to shut up and put up because that is what they are paid to do; women telling other women that they should he embarrassed to work in another woman's home; women telling other women that they are lazy and entitled if they POST that they are thinking of asking for a raise.

I've found more offensive posts from mother's than I have from nannies. And I have often written responses against a nanny's position and told them when I believed they were wrong. I've been shocked at what some mother's on this board think of the women who care day in and day out for their children.

That's your perspective but it goes both ways. I'm an MB and I have disagreed with many of the nasty MB posters on here but posts like your last one are only adding to the problem. Until everyone can agree to try to provide helpful advice for those legitimately asking AND stop pointing fingers and blaming one side only, this forum will never be anything other than a source of entertainment to watch nasty people disagree.

[Anonymous]

Do you understand, 22:26, that traffic drives revenue? Heat increases traffic. Moderator isn't stupid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:From my perspective as a nanny, I found the MB's on this board to be the most offensive and horrid. Had I found this board before I became a nanny - I wouldn't have. Women telling nannies to shut up and put up because that is what they are paid to do; women telling other women that they should he embarrassed to work in another woman's home; women telling other women that they are lazy and entitled if they POST that they are thinking of asking for a raise.

I've found more offensive posts from mother's than I have from nannies. And I have often written responses against a nanny's position and told them when I believed they were wrong. I've been shocked at what some mother's on this board think of the women who care day in and day out for their children.

That's your perspective but it goes both ways. I'm an MB and I have disagreed with many of the nasty MB posters on here but posts like your last one are only adding to the problem. Until everyone can agree to try to provide helpful advice for those legitimately asking AND stop pointing fingers and blaming one side only, this forum will never be anything other than a source of entertainment to watch nasty people disagree.

I was responding to the previous three posts that blamed the nannies for the hostility on this board and stated clearly that this was not my experience. I gave my honest perspective. Honesty cannot add to the problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:From my perspective as a nanny, I found the MB's on this board to be the most offensive and horrid. Had I found this board before I became a nanny - I wouldn't have. Women telling nannies to shut up and put up because that is what they are paid to do; women telling other women that they should he embarrassed to work in another woman's home; women telling other women that they are lazy and entitled if they POST that they are thinking of asking for a raise.

I've found more offensive posts from mother's than I have from nannies. And I have often written responses against a nanny's position and told them when I believed they were wrong. I've been shocked at what some mother's on this board think of the women who care day in and day out for their children.

+ 1. I hope all of these awful MBs are trolls. I really hate to think that they are mothers of young children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:From my perspective as a nanny, I found the MB's on this board to be the most offensive and horrid. Had I found this board before I became a nanny - I wouldn't have. Women telling nannies to shut up and put up because that is what they are paid to do; women telling other women that they should he embarrassed to work in another woman's home; women telling other women that they are lazy and entitled if they POST that they are thinking of asking for a raise.

I've found more offensive posts from mother's than I have from nannies. And I have often written responses against a nanny's position and told them when I believed they were wrong. I've been shocked at what some mother's on this board think of the women who care day in and day out for their children.

That's your perspective but it goes both ways. I'm an MB and I have disagreed with many of the nasty MB posters on here but posts like your last one are only adding to the problem. Until everyone can agree to try to provide helpful advice for those legitimately asking AND stop pointing fingers and blaming one side only, this forum will never be anything other than a source of entertainment to watch nasty people disagree.

I'm one of the PPs you responded to, and a nanny. I by no means think that nannies are the entire problem, but rather that the "problem" only hurts nannies. Nannies get thrashed when they post an honest question, so this becomes a less useful resource. Parents get thrashed instead of educated when they pose a question. Who do you think is hurt when they can't come here to ask about bonuses, raises, and whether they have realistic expectations? Its their nanny/prospective nanny. Parents come here to find a nanny and craft a job and they get scared by the craziness. They may decide that daycare would be easier. It hurts us in the end. Stop playing the blame game, and lets try to clean this place up. DCUM is usually one of the first sites that comes up when you google any question concerning nannies, and we should do our best to make sure that person's experience here is a relatively positive one, or at least not so negative that they run away screaming.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:From my perspective as a nanny, I found the MB's on this board to be the most offensive and horrid. Had I found this board before I became a nanny - I wouldn't have. Women telling nannies to shut up and put up because that is what they are paid to do; women telling other women that they should he embarrassed to work in another woman's home; women telling other women that they are lazy and entitled if they POST that they are thinking of asking for a raise.

I've found more offensive posts from mother's than I have from nannies. And I have often written responses against a nanny's position and told them when I believed they were wrong. I've been shocked at what some mother's on this board think of the women who care day in and day out for their children.

+ 1. I hope all of these awful MBs are trolls. I really hate to think that they are mothers of young children.

^^^it is posts like this that we need to start ignoring completely, or reporting, and ignoring when this troll responds to themselves to start a flame war.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:From my perspective as a nanny, I found the MB's on this board to be the most offensive and horrid. Had I found this board before I became a nanny - I wouldn't have. Women telling nannies to shut up and put up because that is what they are paid to do; women telling other women that they should he embarrassed to work in another woman's home; women telling other women that they are lazy and entitled if they POST that they are thinking of asking for a raise.

I've found more offensive posts from mother's than I have from nannies. And I have often written responses against a nanny's position and told them when I believed they were wrong. I've been shocked at what some mother's on this board think of the women who care day in and day out for their children.

That's your perspective but it goes both ways. I'm an MB and I have disagreed with many of the nasty MB posters on here but posts like your last one are only adding to the problem. Until everyone can agree to try to provide helpful advice for those legitimately asking AND stop pointing fingers and blaming one side only, this forum will never be anything other than a source of entertainment to watch nasty people disagree.

I'm one of the PPs you responded to, and a nanny. I by no means think that nannies are the entire problem, but rather that the "problem" only hurts nannies. Nannies get thrashed when they post an honest question, so this becomes a less useful resource. Parents get thrashed instead of educated when they pose a question. Who do you think is hurt when they can't come here to ask about bonuses, raises, and whether they have realistic expectations? Its their nanny/prospective nanny. Parents come here to find a nanny and craft a job and they get scared by the craziness. They may decide that daycare would be easier. It hurts us in the end. Stop playing the blame game, and lets try to clean this place up. DCUM is usually one of the first sites that comes up when you google any question concerning nannies, and we should do our best to make sure that person's experience here is a relatively positive one, or at least not so negative that they run away screaming.

Please - I clearly was not "playing the blame game". In responding to three anti-nanny posts, I wrote about my true and honest perspective. Yes, I agree that negative and ugly nanny posts hurt nannies the most but I also clearly understand how nannies are baited by either angry, ugly MBs or trolls pretending to be nannies.

Nothing will ever be accomplished here or in our careers without honest dialogue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:From my perspective as a nanny, I found the MB's on this board to be the most offensive and horrid. Had I found this board before I became a nanny - I wouldn't have. Women telling nannies to shut up and put up because that is what they are paid to do; women telling other women that they should he embarrassed to work in another woman's home; women telling other women that they are lazy and entitled if they POST that they are thinking of asking for a raise.

I've found more offensive posts from mother's than I have from nannies. And I have often written responses against a nanny's position and told them when I believed they were wrong. I've been shocked at what some mother's on this board think of the women who care day in and day out for their children.

That's your perspective but it goes both ways. I'm an MB and I have disagreed with many of the nasty MB posters on here but posts like your last one are only adding to the problem. Until everyone can agree to try to provide helpful advice for those legitimately asking AND stop pointing fingers and blaming one side only, this forum will never be anything other than a source of entertainment to watch nasty people disagree.

I'm one of the PPs you responded to, and a nanny. I by no means think that nannies are the entire problem, but rather that the "problem" only hurts nannies. Nannies get thrashed when they post an honest question, so this becomes a less useful resource. Parents get thrashed instead of educated when they pose a question. Who do you think is hurt when they can't come here to ask about bonuses, raises, and whether they have realistic expectations? Its their nanny/prospective nanny. Parents come here to find a nanny and craft a job and they get scared by the craziness. They may decide that daycare would be easier. It hurts us in the end. Stop playing the blame game, and lets try to clean this place up. DCUM is usually one of the first sites that comes up when you google any question concerning nannies, and we should do our best to make sure that person's experience here is a relatively positive one, or at least not so negative that they run away screaming.

Please - I clearly was not "playing the blame game". In responding to three anti-nanny posts, I wrote about my true and honest perspective. Yes, I agree that negative and ugly nanny posts hurt nannies the most but I also clearly understand how nannies are baited by either angry, ugly MBs or trolls pretending to be nannies.

Nothing will ever be accomplished here or in our careers without honest dialogue.

I said that I was one of those posters, I am a nanny, and my post was not anti nanny. The antics can be attributed to both sides, and no one is arguing that it can't be. But you have an attitude, and aren't actually interested in having a conversation, rather you want to continue to assign blame, and I will no longer engage you. Have a nice day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:From my perspective as a nanny, I found the MB's on this board to be the most offensive and horrid. Had I found this board before I became a nanny - I wouldn't have. Women telling nannies to shut up and put up because that is what they are paid to do; women telling other women that they should he embarrassed to work in another woman's home; women telling other women that they are lazy and entitled if they POST that they are thinking of asking for a raise.

I've found more offensive posts from mother's than I have from nannies. And I have often written responses against a nanny's position and told them when I believed they were wrong. I've been shocked at what some mother's on this board think of the women who care day in and day out for their children.

That's your perspective but it goes both ways. I'm an MB and I have disagreed with many of the nasty MB posters on here but posts like your last one are only adding to the problem. Until everyone can agree to try to provide helpful advice for those legitimately asking AND stop pointing fingers and blaming one side only, this forum will never be anything other than a source of entertainment to watch nasty people disagree.

I'm one of the PPs you responded to, and a nanny. I by no means think that nannies are the entire problem, but rather that the "problem" only hurts nannies. Nannies get thrashed when they post an honest question, so this becomes a less useful resource. Parents get thrashed instead of educated when they pose a question. Who do you think is hurt when they can't come here to ask about bonuses, raises, and whether they have realistic expectations? Its their nanny/prospective nanny. Parents come here to find a nanny and craft a job and they get scared by the craziness. They may decide that daycare would be easier. It hurts us in the end. Stop playing the blame game, and lets try to clean this place up. DCUM is usually one of the first sites that comes up when you google any question concerning nannies, and we should do our best to make sure that person's experience here is a relatively positive one, or at least not so negative that they run away screaming.

I'm the PP you are responding to here but FYI I am not 7:58. I'm an MB and I really appreciate your post and agree 100%. It doesn't really matter who is to "blame" for the nasty posts, it definitely does hurt nannies more than their employers but really it's hurting anyone who comes here asking for honest advice. I don't think there really is a solution since it's all anonymous there is no way to know if there are a few nasty people we should ignore or if the majority of people here are just crazy. I would just like to say I appreciate your rational post that makes sense and doesn't involve any nasty name calling.

[Anonymous]

Well it's sort of like the SAHM vs WOHM mom debates they have on the regular forum - as a WOHM, I feel like the SAHM posters are much much more nasty and judgmental, but then I'll read a SAHM poster that feels exactly the opposite.

To the PP above who thinks that it's mostly the MBs who write the irate posts - it's funny, but I completely disagree, as an MB. I feel like there are a number of MBs who are really and truly trying to get advice on what to do - they may not be doing the "right" thing according to what nannies might think currently, but they are actively trying to ask what to improve upon and then they get totally attached for being cheap or whatever. Those are the reasons I don't post on this board anymore. It's funny that the nannies see the complete opposite problem.

I did just search and didn't find a single MB saying "put up or shut up" type things or that a nanny should be embarassed about working in another women's home. I don't recall anyone saying anything like that at all.