Anyone lese think this Nanny Forum message board has gotten absolutely ridiculous?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a nanny. I posted a question about sleep training on the General parenting forum. I had run into a roadblock and was really trying to get some suggestions from people who had been there. It was a very specific issue that I had never experienced. I was told by several mothers that they would never hire me as a nanny for not knowing exactly what to do, that they hope I lose my job, that I am just posing as a nanny and that my charge shouldn't be trusted in my care. It was horrible!
Experiences like this don't exactly create any good will.
It's difficult not to be on the defensive after having these experiences, for nannies or MBs.

If it makes you feel any better, there are some pretty rabid sleep trainer posters in the general parenting forum. They attack anyone, parent or nanny, who uses the words "sleep training"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a nanny. I posted a question about sleep training on the General parenting forum. I had run into a roadblock and was really trying to get some suggestions from people who had been there. It was a very specific issue that I had never experienced. I was told by several mothers that they would never hire me as a nanny for not knowing exactly what to do, that they hope I lose my job, that I am just posing as a nanny and that my charge shouldn't be trusted in my care. It was horrible!
Experiences like this don't exactly create any good will.
It's difficult not to be on the defensive after having these experiences, for nannies or MBs.

OP here: We have to ignore the nutcases!

But I agree that is is really hard not to be defensive after being attacked so often. I started this topic thread after reading posts telling a young babysitter that she was an idiot, will make a terrible nurse (her college major), and they are glad she is not their daughter - all because she did not tell her part-time-once-a-week employer why she will not be working for them anymore. Agree with her decision or not, it went so far over the top that I felt the need to start this discussion on ways to dial-back the high-drama and just try to only offer suggestions, offer opinions and give support to each other.

[Anonymous]

I totally agree. I love the DC forum and it's given me tons of useful advice (there are crazy posts and threads, too, but the overall dynamic seems vastly more down to earth).

I've had legitimate questions and threads whose topics looked interesting, but I can't think of one useful insight I've ever gotten from this board. I've learned though that yes there are many bizarre trolls and hugely unreasonable posters and those who post unrelated, ridiculous and totally uninteresting rants on a regular basis. It's a shame.

[Anonymous]

Does anyone actually moderate these forums? If so, how can we contact them to remove troll posts and/or responses that are attacking a poster?

[Anonymous]

Well, I am going to continue as OP suggested - just answering questions and offering my opinion on matters posted without "high drama" or name calling and see where that takes me. Everything isn't personal and I'm not gonna get sucked into the negative energy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone actually moderate these forums? If so, how can we contact them to remove troll posts and/or responses that are attacking a poster?

If you suspect a post is a troll, there is a report button at the bottom right of all posts. I've used it a decent amount when I'm suspicious of a post. It alerts Jeff (the moderator) to the post and he or his wife determine if it is a known troll, completely unrelated to the topic, etc and either delete it or keep it. Sometimes even call the poster out. I've used it a decent amount and sometimes I'm right and sometimes I'm wrong. Jeff has admitted that this forum is not checked by him nearly as much as the general parenting so he relies on people reporting suspicious posts in order to keep this forum in semi-order.

[Anonymous]

Well, given that this is a completely anonymous board, how can anyone determine if someone is a troll? I post on a message board out of Boston through the Boston Globe, and that isn't anonymous - people have "nicknames" so you can tell who is responding to you - and in that case you can follow a conversation but you also get to know that person's personality, so you can take some posters responses with a grain of salt, others you come to trust after reading many of their posts. But this is all anonymous - you can't tell who is writing, etc. so it's harder to moderate.

[Anonymous]

I personally think that this forum would be so much better off if everyone was REQUIRED to have a user name to post. I think that if everyone were required to have a username, it would cut back on a lot of the trolls, fake posts, etc. I know it probably won't happen but I would actually start posting on here asking questions if that were to happen instead of being scared to post because of the BS comments everyone else gets.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I personally think that this forum would be so much better off if everyone was REQUIRED to have a user name to post. I think that if everyone were required to have a username, it would cut back on a lot of the trolls, fake posts, etc. I know it probably won't happen but I would actually start posting on here asking questions if that were to happen instead of being scared to post because of the BS comments everyone else gets.

I agree with you.

[Anonymous]

You understand that increased traffic results in increased profits, no? If they didn't allow the wild fighting, what do you suppose would happen to the profits?
They're more inclined to delete posts they disagree with. Human nature.

[Anonymous]

I'm really uncomfortable with the name-calling and labeling on this board - and it definitely comes from both the nannies and MBs. As employees, nannies are always in the weaker position so I tend to agree with them more but, regardless, there is no need for the pettiness or downright meanness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm really uncomfortable with the name-calling and labeling on this board - and it definitely comes from both the nannies and MBs. As employees, nannies are always in the weaker position so I tend to agree with them more but, regardless, there is no need for the pettiness or downright meanness.

Same with the parent forum?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm really uncomfortable with the name-calling and labeling on this board - and it definitely comes from both the nannies and MBs. As employees, nannies are always in the weaker position so I tend to agree with them more but, regardless, there is no need for the pettiness or downright meanness.

Same with the parent forum?

NP here who shares the same sentiment as first PP. Yes, same as with the parenting forum although I think the dynamic is a bit different. When parents attack each other over sleep training, breastfeeding, working vs SAH, etc., it just makes them look foolish and if I knew them in real life, I'd look down on them. Unfortunately on the nanny website, whether these posters are trolls or not, because they identify as either a nanny or MB, it negatively portrays each side of the nanny relationship. So you have people who think nannies are psycho and entitled based on the few on here/the trolls who can't have a normal discussion, and you have people think that all MBs are abusive, nasty bitches.

I'm now an MB and I will be totally honest that I was hesitant to hire a nanny after reading some of the posts on this site. Seemed like no matter what I did, even if I paid a good wage, gave time off, health benefits, etc., I'd always be viewed as an evil bitch. Pretty much the only reason I ended up getting a nanny is because I know some IRL (one of my best friends, a few people I met in nursing school who are now specialty nannies) and they helped me figure out the ins and outs of the nanny world. It is pretty bad when posters feel like they can't ask normal questions (about pay, benefits, etc) without having to worry about the onslaught of insults hurtled their way. Same goes for nannies who feel like they can't post a question about how to deal with an issue without having insults thrown at them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm really uncomfortable with the name-calling and labeling on this board - and it definitely comes from both the nannies and MBs. As employees, nannies are always in the weaker position so I tend to agree with them more but, regardless, there is no need for the pettiness or downright meanness.

Same with the parent forum?

NP here who shares the same sentiment as first PP. Yes, same as with the parenting forum although I think the dynamic is a bit different. When parents attack each other over sleep training, breastfeeding, working vs SAH, etc., it just makes them look foolish and if I knew them in real life, I'd look down on them. Unfortunately on the nanny website, whether these posters are trolls or not, because they identify as either a nanny or MB, it negatively portrays each side of the nanny relationship. So you have people who think nannies are psycho and entitled based on the few on here/the trolls who can't have a normal discussion, and you have people think that all MBs are abusive, nasty bitches.

I'm now an MB and I will be totally honest that I was hesitant to hire a nanny after reading some of the posts on this site. Seemed like no matter what I did, even if I paid a good wage, gave time off, health benefits, etc., I'd always be viewed as an evil bitch. Pretty much the only reason I ended up getting a nanny is because I know some IRL (one of my best friends, a few people I met in nursing school who are now specialty nannies) and they helped me figure out the ins and outs of the nanny world. It is pretty bad when posters feel like they can't ask normal questions (about pay, benefits, etc) without having to worry about the onslaught of insults hurtled their way. Same goes for nannies who feel like they can't post a question about how to deal with an issue without having insults thrown at them.

+1000. This is it exactly. People are just as nasty on the parenting forum but it doesn't make an entire group of people look bad as it does on the nanny forum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm really uncomfortable with the name-calling and labeling on this board - and it definitely comes from both the nannies and MBs. As employees, nannies are always in the weaker position so I tend to agree with them more but, regardless, there is no need for the pettiness or downright meanness.

Same with the parent forum?

NP here who shares the same sentiment as first PP. Yes, same as with the parenting forum although I think the dynamic is a bit different. When parents attack each other over sleep training, breastfeeding, working vs SAH, etc., it just makes them look foolish and if I knew them in real life, I'd look down on them. Unfortunately on the nanny website, whether these posters are trolls or not, because they identify as either a nanny or MB, it negatively portrays each side of the nanny relationship. So you have people who think nannies are psycho and entitled based on the few on here/the trolls who can't have a normal discussion, and you have people think that all MBs are abusive, nasty bitches.

I'm now an MB and I will be totally honest that I was hesitant to hire a nanny after reading some of the posts on this site. Seemed like no matter what I did, even if I paid a good wage, gave time off, health benefits, etc., I'd always be viewed as an evil bitch. Pretty much the only reason I ended up getting a nanny is because I know some IRL (one of my best friends, a few people I met in nursing school who are now specialty nannies) and they helped me figure out the ins and outs of the nanny world. It is pretty bad when posters feel like they can't ask normal questions (about pay, benefits, etc) without having to worry about the onslaught of insults hurtled their way. Same goes for nannies who feel like they can't post a question about how to deal with an issue without having insults thrown at them.

+1000. This is it exactly. People are just as nasty on the parenting forum but it doesn't make an entire group of people look bad as it does on the nanny forum.

Or jeopardize their employment opportunities. Parents come here looking for advise, and to possibly hire someone, and im sure some of this nonsense runs them off. I found my last position here, and these employers have been the most knowledgeable about norms in this industry and I've really appreciated that they use this resource, but I'm sure it sometimes scares the hell out of them as it does me.