I need an expectations check on texting during work hours

[Anonymous]

21:49 is the regular poster who repeatedly believes that there is no correlation between the quality of service you get, and the wage that you pay.

"You get what you pay for" applies to everyone except nannies, in her fantasy world.

Logic has it that if a nanny is paid more than all her nanny friends, she understands that it's because she's better than all her nanny friends, at least according to her employer.

If that employer feels it may be helpful, she can tell the nanny, "I pay you well above the average rate because....
"You are fully focused on your work rather than your cellphone." A professional nanny won't need to be told.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
21:49 is the regular poster who repeatedly believes that there is no correlation between the quality of service you get, and the wage that you pay.

"You get what you pay for" applies to everyone except nannies, in her fantasy world.

Logic has it that if a nanny is paid more than all her nanny friends, she understands that it's because she's better than all her nanny friends, at least according to her employer.

If that employer feels it may be helpful, she can tell the nanny, "I pay you well above the average rate because....
"You are fully focused on your work rather than your cellphone." A professional nanny won't need to be told.

I second the posters who comment that there is no clear correlation between quality and wages in the nanny world. Some nannies charge above average rates because they deliver an exceptional service. There is no question about that. Others charge more because they want more, and they've heard on places like this board that some of their peers charge more. Still others charge more because they feel entitled to earn more based on years in the profession, even though time-in-profession just makes someone older, not necessarily better at what they do.

Nannies who don't deliver on par with above-average rates can sometimes get them anyway, at least for a while, because in contrast to most non-domestic employment markets, there is a never-ending stream of inexperienced employers who don't have access to reliable data about what rates are typical, don't know what level of service can be expected, don't know how to manage toward improving poor performance, and let a lot of things slide because they are fearful of disrupting their child's presumed attachment to a mediocre or poorly-performing warm body.

In this case, it sounds like the OP's nanny is falling short of even the most elementary standard of adequate performance. Even if she is paying at the low end of the market, she'd be overpaying.

[Anonymous]

21:49 is the regular poster who repeatedly believes that there is no correlation between the quality of service you get, and the wage that you pay.

"You get what you pay for" applies to everyone except nannies, in her fantasy world.

Logic has it that if a nanny is paid more than all her nanny friends, she understands that it's because she's better than all her nanny friends, at least according to her employer.

If that employer feels it may be helpful, she can tell the nanny, "I pay you well above the average rate because....
"You are fully focused on your work rather than your cellphone." A professional nanny won't need to be told.

Except she's right. There is no correlation between the rate you pay and the quality you get. There are no measurable metrics that will show this correlation. Your lovely tag line...you get what what you pay for is just that. A lovely tag line with nothing to recommend it.

Oh, and you don't understand logic, which is not surprising. Sure, if a nanny believes she makes more than her nanny friends, she might think she is extra awesome. Problem is, this is her perception and wish and has absolutely nothing to do with logic. Do you want to educate yourself on logic? Spend some time learning about microeconomics.

And before you accuse, I'm not 21:49. I'm simply smarter than you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MB here. You are a controlling person. Your kids do not need to be constantly engaged. Did it ever occur to you that while you go to work and have adult conversation, your nanny is with your kids all day. Yes we pay nannies to do a job, but it is important to realize that there is a need for communication outside of talking to kids all day. Also, if she is in fact with your family this much, maybe she needs to communicate with her own friends and family.

My mb would say this!!!!!

I'm the PP. I think that if you are with my family all day, you need to have conversation outside of talking to kids and being wrapped up in my family's business constantly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
21:49 is the regular poster who repeatedly believes that there is no correlation between the quality of service you get, and the wage that you pay.

"You get what you pay for" applies to everyone except nannies, in her fantasy world.

Logic has it that if a nanny is paid more than all her nanny friends, she understands that it's because she's better than all her nanny friends, at least according to her employer.

If that employer feels it may be helpful, she can tell the nanny, "I pay you well above the average rate because....
"You are fully focused on your work rather than your cellphone." A professional nanny won't need to be told.

I second the posters who comment that there is no clear correlation between quality and wages in the nanny world. Some nannies charge above average rates because they deliver an exceptional service. There is no question about that. Others charge more because they want more, and they've heard on places like this board that some of their peers charge more. Still others charge more because they feel entitled to earn more based on years in the profession, even though time-in-profession just makes someone older, not necessarily better at what they do.

Nannies who don't deliver on par with above-average rates can sometimes get them anyway, at least for a while, because in contrast to most non-domestic employment markets, there is a never-ending stream of inexperienced employers who don't have access to reliable data about what rates are typical, don't know what level of service can be expected, don't know how to manage toward improving poor performance, and let a lot of things slide because they are fearful of disrupting their child's presumed attachment to a mediocre or poorly-performing warm body.

In this case, it sounds like the OP's nanny is falling short of even the most elementary standard of adequate performance. Even if she is paying at the low end of the market, she'd be overpaying.

Unlike the above poster, I would say that each parent may have her individual preference for a particular quality for which she is willing to pay top dollar. The more uncommon the skill is among nannies, the more that parent may pay for it. For some, it may be perfect command of Chinese, Russian, or Polish. For others it may be training and experience with a certain educational/parenting philosophy.

What one parent considers worthless, another parent may consider golden, and will compensate accordingly.

[Anonymous]

OP, you seem to be very thought out and wanting to both be fair and be treated fairly. Sounds like you need a more active, mature nanny. You may want to search for a career nanny, not saying that you have to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is tricky.. It depends when shes texting and how she's engaging with your children while shes texting.. If they are coloring and she glances at her phone to reply to a text, that's one thing. But if shes running to hide in the bathroom to continue a conversation, that's another story. 50 texts a day seems like a lot but it's all depending on the person and how they text. It's too bad you can't see how often shes on the internet on her phone because that takes a lot more attention than texting, and might be why your children are complaining. Give her an official "warning" and see what happens, if this problem continues I would find another nanny.

Thanks PP. I think this is why I'm hesitating. The phone records tell me that she's texting during the day (although she told me when I asked her that she wasn't). I know she's using whatsapp and our WIFI, so I can only assume that the phone records tell the minimum that she's using her phone. I am totally ok with a quick text or handling making a plan for later that night or whatever, particularly when the kids are engaged on their own, which they are sometimes (although I'm not sure why those things can't be handled during their 1.5-2 hour naptime). But there really is no way to tell and she's already shown me that she's not going to be truthful.

If you add her as a contact on WhatsApp, you can see when she was 'last seen'...and this can tell you how much she uses it. My AP uses whatsapp and one day I kept it open and watched her get online constantly throughout the day...

[Anonymous]

How do you add her as a contact on whatsapp?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do you add her as a contact on whatsapp?

If you have her as a contact in your address book, and you open whatsapp, you should see them there.

start a conversation, and then you will have them as one of your chats.

if you open the old chat, you can see when they 'were last seen'. I kept it open one day and saw my nanny online, and off alllllllll day long.

[Anonymous]

OP...I am having this issue.

I'm wondering what you did.

My nanny is on Whatsapp and texting all day and my son has told me that she also goes upstairs when they are playing to use her computer.

Obvi I am going to have a convo with her...but not sure what to say. She's very new and I've told her before that she should only have very minimal use on the phone during the day. During off hours, she also is on it and her PC allllll the time.

Did you do consequences (like do this...or I will do that)? What was the consequence?
Or did you just let her go?

Thanks!!!

[Anonymous]

Hey 17:26. I'm the OP. We had a big talk and she denied ever using her phone during the day. Even when I said it was ok to use it briefly, she still flat out lied. I told her my expectations again about phone use and she agreed. She did actually improve after that, but then there were a number of other things that made me really doubt her maturity and commitment. We let her go. And honestly, if its as bad as you say, I'd recommend letting her go. Anyone who is using her phone and computer to the point where the kids notice they're being ignored is not in the right mindset to be a child care provider. Sorry PP. hope it works out somehow!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP...I am having this issue.

I'm wondering what you did.

My nanny is on Whatsapp and texting all day and my son has told me that she also goes upstairs when they are playing to use her computer.

Obvi I am going to have a convo with her...but not sure what to say. She's very new and I've told her before that she should only have very minimal use on the phone during the day. During off hours, she also is on it and her PC allllll the time.

Did you do consequences (like do this...or I will do that)? What was the consequence?
Or did you just let her go?

Thanks!!!

She shouldn't be texting or using computer that frequently or at all during work, but what's the problem with her doing that on her off ours?

[Anonymous]

Those poor girls who came here to have fun, are bored to tears with your kid. What did you expect? Really.
Did you want to sit around with someone's kid all day long, at that age? Most of you here, still would go crazy with your kid all day, every day. And it's YOUR kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Those poor girls who came here to have fun, are bored to tears with your kid. What did you expect? Really.
Did you want to sit around with someone's kid all day long, at that age? Most of you here, still would go crazy with your kid all day, every day. And it's YOUR kid.

Okay troll.

[Anonymous]

Something new to learn....