Parents are allowed to be hypocrites

[Anonymous]

"But you probably DO get some kind of lunch break during your day. It would be very hypocritical of you not allow your nanny any down time during her work day. "

who are all these nannies working for families where the kids never nap? naptime = nanny break. depending on the ages of the kids that may range anywhere from 1 to 4ish hours each day. When lunch break is discussed on here, the vast majority of MBs say they have no issue w/ nanny chilling out for an hour during nap - that it's only AFTER a good break that they'd expect her to start to put herself to work during that time.

+1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nannies care for children.
Housekeepers clean house.
Parents do everything.

Corrections: Parents are SUPPOSED to do everything. but they dont or wont. So thats where nannies and housekeepers come in.

[Anonymous]

It is not hypocracy to have certain times for certain things. Allowing a child to regularly watch TV while mom cooks dinner does not suggest to the kid that mom says X while nanny says Y about TV - it tells the kid that TV time is during dinner-fixing time.

And I am very sorry for the nannies who are overworked and get NO break during nap time due to too many chores. I would agree that's a problem. If you haven't already discussed that w/ your MB, you really need to - she may not realize that you're getting no downtime. (If she does and you work a full day then she's a jerk and you should job hunt.) Virtually every single MB I have ever seen post on here 100% agrees nannies deserve some decent break time - the difference is that MBs want that to happen during nap time for about an hour while some (not all) nannies on here seem to keep insisting it needs to be during wake-time for the kids or for much longer periods of time.

And I would also say that if you nanny a full day (i.e. 8 hours or more) for kids that don't nap then yes, it is reasonable to talk w/ MB to work out a way to make sure you have a "break", even if that means TV. But most nannies are working for little kids who nap or at least still do rest time, so that's not the majority of cases.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is good for your kids when I'm at work is still good for them when you're at home. What is bad for them when I'm at work is still bad when you're at home. Now is it your right to relax the rules when you're home. Sure it is. But you should be honest with yourself that it is because you don't have the energy to be on 100% of the time, and you should be able to understand that neither does your nanny.

...especially for 8, 10 and 12 hour-a-day nannies. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is good for your kids when I'm at work is still good for them when you're at home. What is bad for them when I'm at work is still bad when you're at home. Now is it your right to relax the rules when you're home. Sure it is. But you should be honest with yourself that it is because you don't have the energy to be on 100% of the time, and you should be able to understand that neither does your nanny.

...especially for 8, 10 and 12 hour-a-day nannies. Thank you.

I think it depends on the nanny and what their life outside of work is like. If you are a nanny who works 12 hour days and then goes home to your own family to make dinner, clean up, get children ready for bed etc then this is 100% true. If you are like my children's nanny, you work 8 hours then go home to a quiet evening by yourself or go out to dinner with your friends. She spends the weekends sleeping in and relaxing. I come home after working a full day, make dinner while simultaneously feeding the baby while my 2 and 3 year old ask for 10 different things. Yes, the nanny has to do that exact same thing during the day but goes home to a quiet relaxing evening (these are her words by the way, not mine) when she can recharge. The only time I have to myself is the 20 minutes I spend in the car and when I'm in the bathroom and the second is not always the case. To be clear, I'm not complaining about my life, I chose to have 3 children close in age and I would do it again 1000 times BUT I don't think it's holding myself to a different standard to say I don't want the nanny to have the children watching tv routinely because she has every evening to relax and recharge even though I might turn the tv on because after a busy day at work and coming home to all 3 children crying I might lose my mind if I don't get 5 minutes of piece and quiet. With that said, I rarely do that. Since I do work all day I try to enjoy the time I have with the children AND if the nanny was having a particularly bad day or wasn't feeling well I also would have no problem if she turned the tv on for a bit either.

Thankfully I have a nanny who understands this and repeatedly tells me she knows how hard it must be for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is good for your kids when I'm at work is still good for them when you're at home. What is bad for them when I'm at work is still bad when you're at home. Now is it your right to relax the rules when you're home. Sure it is. But you should be honest with yourself that it is because you don't have the energy to be on 100% of the time, and you should be able to understand that neither does your nanny.

...especially for 8, 10 and 12 hour-a-day nannies. Thank you.

I think it depends on the nanny and what their life outside of work is like. If you are a nanny who works 12 hour days and then goes home to your own family to make dinner, clean up, get children ready for bed etc then this is 100% true. If you are like my children's nanny, you work 8 hours then go home to a quiet evening by yourself or go out to dinner with your friends. She spends the weekends sleeping in and relaxing. I come home after working a full day, make dinner while simultaneously feeding the baby while my 2 and 3 year old ask for 10 different things. Yes, the nanny has to do that exact same thing during the day but goes home to a quiet relaxing evening (these are her words by the way, not mine) when she can recharge. The only time I have to myself is the 20 minutes I spend in the car and when I'm in the bathroom and the second is not always the case. To be clear, I'm not complaining about my life, I chose to have 3 children close in age and I would do it again 1000 times BUT I don't think it's holding myself to a different standard to say I don't want the nanny to have the children watching tv routinely because she has every evening to relax and recharge even though I might turn the tv on because after a busy day at work and coming home to all 3 children crying I might lose my mind if I don't get 5 minutes of piece and quiet. With that said, I rarely do that. Since I do work all day I try to enjoy the time I have with the children AND if the nanny was having a particularly bad day or wasn't feeling well I also would have no problem if she turned the tv on for a bit either.

Thankfully I have a nanny who understands this and repeatedly tells me she knows how hard it must be for me.

Unusual that you don't have a full time office job outside the home, but better for your children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is good for your kids when I'm at work is still good for them when you're at home. What is bad for them when I'm at work is still bad when you're at home. Now is it your right to relax the rules when you're home. Sure it is. But you should be honest with yourself that it is because you don't have the energy to be on 100% of the time, and you should be able to understand that neither does your nanny.

...especially for 8, 10 and 12 hour-a-day nannies. Thank you.

I think it depends on the nanny and what their life outside of work is like. If you are a nanny who works 12 hour days and then goes home to your own family to make dinner, clean up, get children ready for bed etc then this is 100% true. If you are like my children's nanny, you work 8 hours then go home to a quiet evening by yourself or go out to dinner with your friends. She spends the weekends sleeping in and relaxing. I come home after working a full day, make dinner while simultaneously feeding the baby while my 2 and 3 year old ask for 10 different things. Yes, the nanny has to do that exact same thing during the day but goes home to a quiet relaxing evening (these are her words by the way, not mine) when she can recharge. The only time I have to myself is the 20 minutes I spend in the car and when I'm in the bathroom and the second is not always the case. To be clear, I'm not complaining about my life, I chose to have 3 children close in age and I would do it again 1000 times BUT I don't think it's holding myself to a different standard to say I don't want the nanny to have the children watching tv routinely because she has every evening to relax and recharge even though I might turn the tv on because after a busy day at work and coming home to all 3 children crying I might lose my mind if I don't get 5 minutes of piece and quiet. With that said, I rarely do that. Since I do work all day I try to enjoy the time I have with the children AND if the nanny was having a particularly bad day or wasn't feeling well I also would have no problem if she turned the tv on for a bit either.

Thankfully I have a nanny who understands this and repeatedly tells me she knows how hard it must be for me.

Unusual that you don't have a full time office job outside the home, but better for your children.

That's exactly why I don't but it's not that unusual. I'm lucky that in my field I can work PT, I know a lot of women who would love to work PT but don't have that option.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nannies are employees, yes, and employees an hour long lunch break in their 9-hour shifts. Nannies typically work 10 to 12 hour shifts. To say that we should not advocate for ANY downtime is downright hypocritical and shitty. I understand the limiting TV time or junk food for only the parents, fine, but some bit of downtime is still needed by employees regardless of profession.

On a good day at work, I get about 20 minutes "lunch break" during which I'm taking my first pee break of the day, talking to colleagues about work issues, reviewing lesson plans, running to the copy machine etc . . .

When I'm home with my kid in the summer, I get a solid hour minimum when he's asleep, plus I can put him in the stroller and take a nice long walk where I can think my own thoughts, plus I can go to the bathroom whenever I want, get a drink of cold water whenever I want, and I don't have to wait until a scheduled break to eat. My nanny has all these privileges too.

I'm having trouble seeing nannies as deprived relative to people with other jobs.

-- Teacher

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nannies are employees, yes, and employees an hour long lunch break in their 9-hour shifts. Nannies typically work 10 to 12 hour shifts. To say that we should not advocate for ANY downtime is downright hypocritical and shitty. I understand the limiting TV time or junk food for only the parents, fine, but some bit of downtime is still needed by employees regardless of profession.

On a good day at work, I get about 20 minutes "lunch break" during which I'm taking my first pee break of the day, talking to colleagues about work issues, reviewing lesson plans, running to the copy machine etc . . .

When I'm home with my kid in the summer, I get a solid hour minimum when he's asleep, plus I can put him in the stroller and take a nice long walk where I can think my own thoughts, plus I can go to the bathroom whenever I want, get a drink of cold water whenever I want, and I don't have to wait until a scheduled break to eat. My nanny has all these privileges too.

I'm having trouble seeing nannies as deprived relative to people with other jobs.

-- Teacher

And what's your annual gross? Benefits? Hours per week, on average?
Apples and oranges, right?

[Anonymous]

Mb's always complain of coming home to their children and how many things they have to do ..Take in mind that some nannies have children of their own...have to wake up earlier than their mb's and drop off kids to daycare..or a minders house..go to work deal with employers kids all day 10 hrs plus ...do all child related work...then go home and take care of their families...So sorry if I don't feel sorry for mb's...when all you have left to do in the evenings is prepare a meal or so...you probably would have finished eating before the nanny entered her front door...and she now had no one to clean up her kids mess and steam veggies or do her kids laundry while she was working...SO PLEASE STOP WITH I HAVE SO MUCH TO DO WHEN I GET HOME SO LET ME PLOP JUNIOR IN FRONT THE TELEVISION...you are just lazy....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mb's always complain of coming home to their children and how many things they have to do ..Take in mind that some nannies have children of their own...have to wake up earlier than their mb's and drop off kids to daycare..or a minders house..go to work deal with employers kids all day 10 hrs plus ...do all child related work...then go home and take care of their families...So sorry if I don't feel sorry for mb's...when all you have left to do in the evenings is prepare a meal or so...you probably would have finished eating before the nanny entered her front door...and she now had no one to clean up her kids mess and steam veggies or do her kids laundry while she was working...SO PLEASE STOP WITH I HAVE SO MUCH TO DO WHEN I GET HOME SO LET ME PLOP JUNIOR IN FRONT THE TELEVISION...you are just lazy....

Did you read the responses? I'm 14:21 and I very specifically said if the nanny has a family of her own her day is just as hard if not harder than mine. BUT if she doesn't her evening is much easier. I was single once. I worked 12+ hour days but when I went home the only one I had to worry about was myself. I thought I was busy but I could relax and rest every night. I had no idea what busy was. As I said if your life is as busy as mine, I have zero issue if you need a break during the day but if you go home to be by yourself, that's your time breaktime and you don't need to plop my kids in front of the tv while you are working.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mb's always complain of coming home to their children and how many things they have to do ..Take in mind that some nannies have children of their own...have to wake up earlier than their mb's and drop off kids to daycare..or a minders house..go to work deal with employers kids all day 10 hrs plus ...do all child related work...then go home and take care of their families...So sorry if I don't feel sorry for mb's...when all you have left to do in the evenings is prepare a meal or so...you probably would have finished eating before the nanny entered her front door...and she now had no one to clean up her kids mess and steam veggies or do her kids laundry while she was working...SO PLEASE STOP WITH I HAVE SO MUCH TO DO WHEN I GET HOME SO LET ME PLOP JUNIOR IN FRONT THE TELEVISION...you are just lazy....

Did you read the responses? I'm 14:21 and I very specifically said if the nanny has a family of her own her day is just as hard if not harder than mine. BUT if she doesn't her evening is much easier. I was single once. I worked 12+ hour days but when I went home the only one I had to worry about was myself. I thought I was busy but I could relax and rest every night. I had no idea what busy was. As I said if your life is as busy as mine, I have zero issue if you need a break during the day but if you go home to be by yourself, that's your time breaktime and you don't need to plop my kids in front of the tv while you are working.

So you hire only single childless nannies, or what? You're overstepping your boundaries if you think it's your business to know, what a nanny does (or doesn't do) when she leaves your child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mb's always complain of coming home to their children and how many things they have to do ..Take in mind that some nannies have children of their own...have to wake up earlier than their mb's and drop off kids to daycare..or a minders house..go to work deal with employers kids all day 10 hrs plus ...do all child related work...then go home and take care of their families...So sorry if I don't feel sorry for mb's...when all you have left to do in the evenings is prepare a meal or so...you probably would have finished eating before the nanny entered her front door...and she now had no one to clean up her kids mess and steam veggies or do her kids laundry while she was working...SO PLEASE STOP WITH I HAVE SO MUCH TO DO WHEN I GET HOME SO LET ME PLOP JUNIOR IN FRONT THE TELEVISION...you are just lazy....

Did you read the responses? I'm 14:21 and I very specifically said if the nanny has a family of her own her day is just as hard if not harder than mine. BUT if she doesn't her evening is much easier. I was single once. I worked 12+ hour days but when I went home the only one I had to worry about was myself. I thought I was busy but I could relax and rest every night. I had no idea what busy was. As I said if your life is as busy as mine, I have zero issue if you need a break during the day but if you go home to be by yourself, that's your time breaktime and you don't need to plop my kids in front of the tv while you are working.

So you hire only single childless nannies, or what? You're overstepping your boundaries if you think it's your business to know, what a nanny does (or doesn't do) when she leaves your child.

Please stop trying to argue with me. We aren't on different sides here. Where did I saw I only hire single nannies? Our last nanny (before we moved) was with us for a year and had 3 children of her own. I used to tell her all the time how hard I knew it was for her because she obviously worked longer hours than I did and also went home to 3 children. She would then tell me she thought I had it harder because my 3 were younger than hers. The point is we both respected each other and didn't make it a competition if whose life was harder. She never turned the tv on even once but if she had it would have been fine. What I have an issue with is if our hard working nanny with 3 of her own children can make it through a day without tv then the young single nannies who their evenings to themselves shouldn't be complaining about how hard they have it. You are right though, it really is none of my business what the nanny does in her time she's not working but I can tell you this, with all the nannies we've had through several moves none of them have ever once used the tv except when one of the kids was sick and needed a quiet day so I know those nannies are plentiful. I would pay a nanny like that MUCH more and be more flexible if they needed to be than a nanny who did turn the tv on just because she was having a busy day.

[Anonymous]

Goodness, you nannies are a bunch of whiners.

You are paid to do a job. Your job is similar to your off time life. Big deal. You are no more overworked than any other working mother and your whining merely makes you look pathetic. Don't like it? Get a new job. But the clue stick is you are not unique and not worthy of special consideration.

Most of you claim to make above market rates and seriously good money in DC in an industry with a very low bar for entry. Anyone can be a nanny. You get a high hourly rate, guaranteed hours, ample vacation, bonuses, hours off when kids nap,yearly raises, health insurance...

Not feeling sorry for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mb's always complain of coming home to their children and how many things they have to do ..Take in mind that some nannies have children of their own...have to wake up earlier than their mb's and drop off kids to daycare..or a minders house..go to work deal with employers kids all day 10 hrs plus ...do all child related work...then go home and take care of their families...So sorry if I don't feel sorry for mb's...when all you have left to do in the evenings is prepare a meal or so...you probably would have finished eating before the nanny entered her front door...and she now had no one to clean up her kids mess and steam veggies or do her kids laundry while she was working...SO PLEASE STOP WITH I HAVE SO MUCH TO DO WHEN I GET HOME SO LET ME PLOP JUNIOR IN FRONT THE TELEVISION...you are just lazy....

Did you read the responses? I'm 14:21 and I very specifically said if the nanny has a family of her own her day is just as hard if not harder than mine. BUT if she doesn't her evening is much easier. I was single once. I worked 12+ hour days but when I went home the only one I had to worry about was myself. I thought I was busy but I could relax and rest every night. I had no idea what busy was. As I said if your life is as busy as mine, I have zero issue if you need a break during the day but if you go home to be by yourself, that's your time breaktime and you don't need to plop my kids in front of the tv while you are working.

So you hire only single childless nannies, or what? You're overstepping your boundaries if you think it's your business to know, what a nanny does (or doesn't do) when she leaves your child.

Please stop trying to argue with me. We aren't on different sides here. Where did I saw I only hire single nannies? Our last nanny (before we moved) was with us for a year and had 3 children of her own. I used to tell her all the time how hard I knew it was for her because she obviously worked longer hours than I did and also went home to 3 children. She would then tell me she thought I had it harder because my 3 were younger than hers. The point is we both respected each other and didn't make it a competition if whose life was harder. She never turned the tv on even once but if she had it would have been fine. What I have an issue with is if our hard working nanny with 3 of her own children can make it through a day without tv then the young single nannies who their evenings to themselves shouldn't be complaining about how hard they have it. You are right though, it really is none of my business what the nanny does in her time she's not working but I can tell you this, with all the nannies we've had through several moves none of them have ever once used the tv except when one of the kids was sick and needed a quiet day so I know those nannies are plentiful. I would pay a nanny like that MUCH more and be more flexible if they needed to be than a nanny who did turn the tv on just because she was having a busy day.

I am a nanny who virtually *never* resorts to the idiot box, no matter what. I let parents know that right up front. If they want their child doing screen time, there's no sense in wasting my time with them.