Parents are allowed to be hypocrites

[Anonymous]

How are we supposed to support those who are doing their damndest to make our jobs harder? We as nannies are often told it is our jobs to make our employers' lives easier, but it seems that would be a constant battle if they are doing everything they can to make our time with their kids more difficult.

[Anonymous]

MB here, my child can't watch TV while my nanny is there, but I do let him watch TV when I get home. That's because he gets 30 minutes of screen time a day, and I need those 30 minutes to take off the work clothes and start dinner. I don't feel hypocritical about it at all. Sure, I could give my nanny those 30 minutes, or split them evenly with her, but I'm the employer and I'm paying her to do what I ask, so we are not both equally entitled to those 30 minutes. Not to sound like a dictator or an awful MB because my nanny is awesome, but it's just true.

And I don't let him watch because I'm tired (not sure why that is the assumption on this thread), not that I think it would be inappropriate if I just wanted to sit for 30 minutes, but I don't, and neither do most of the working moms I know when they get home from work.

Also agree with PP who said that we are not alternating shifts in the same role. I can't put clients in front of the TV while I sit down at work for a break either (or any other equivalent shortcut). So I don't think it is hypocritical for that reason as well - when I am acting as an employee, I have to do as asked even if I don't like it or think my boss is a big fat hypocrite. Same thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MB here, my child can't watch TV while my nanny is there, but I do let him watch TV when I get home. That's because he gets 30 minutes of screen time a day, and I need those 30 minutes to take off the work clothes and start dinner. I don't feel hypocritical about it at all. Sure, I could give my nanny those 30 minutes, or split them evenly with her, but I'm the employer and I'm paying her to do what I ask, so we are not both equally entitled to those 30 minutes. Not to sound like a dictator or an awful MB because my nanny is awesome, but it's just true.

And I don't let him watch because I'm tired (not sure why that is the assumption on this thread), not that I think it would be inappropriate if I just wanted to sit for 30 minutes, but I don't, and neither do most of the working moms I know when they get home from work.

Also agree with PP who said that we are not alternating shifts in the same role. I can't put clients in front of the TV while I sit down at work for a break either (or any other equivalent shortcut). So I don't think it is hypocritical for that reason as well - when I am acting as an employee, I have to do as asked even if I don't like it or think my boss is a big fat hypocrite. Same thing.

But you probably DO get some kind of lunch break during your day. It would be very hypocritical of you not allow your nanny any down time during her work day.

[Anonymous]

I did not read the OP's article, but I see some of this is about TV. I have a part time nanny 3 days a week. Most of these nannies on this board resent also being "housekeeper" or "house manager" without being paid more. On the days I am home all day with my toddler and baby I am "nanny," "housekeeper," and "house manager" all in one. I do not have my nanny much beyond standard "nanny" jobs, such as children's laundry. But on the days I am with my children, I also call and schedule appointments and household services, run errands with them, make all the meals (my nanny does not make dinner, I do every day), do the laundry for myself and DH, try to keep things in the house organized, and take care of household projects, cleaning out the fridge, etc. So you bet I put my child in front of the TV for a little while so I can get some of this done. Especially when my day began with them at 6:30 a.m. and doesn't end until they go to bed at night. And when one of them has a bad dream or is teething, I'm also up in the middle of the night. If you are a nanny with children maybe this is different, but mine does not have children, and I do expect her to be on her "A" game for the time she is here, and I do not allow her to put the children in front of the TV. I try to play with my kids and engage them as much as possible when I am home, but there is no way I can get it all done with some TV - I have way more duties around here than my nanny does and my days are much longer.

[Anonymous]

PP, perhaps you should teach your kids to entertain themselves without TV. I know many parents who work full time and do not even own a TV. And your long days and duties are what you signed up for when you decided to reproduce.

[Anonymous]

There's a big difference between consistency with pacifiers/diapers and McDonalds/TV. Its legitimate to be concerned about inconsistency with pacifiers and diapers as inconsistency will only prolong the difficulty in transition. McDonalds and TV is a different situations. Kids that enjoy these things are old enough to know that there are limits. The parents are under no obligation to "reserve" these for the nanny.

We allow the kids to watch 1 hour of TV a day on the weekends but have a no TV during the week rule. If we did allow it during the week for 30 minutes or whatever, I wouldn't feel to compelled to make sure it occurred during the time they are with the nanny. We also have a no fast food rule and see no benefit in the nanny taking the kids out to McDonalds. We do allow it if we are on vacation, at an airport or at a museum that doesn't have healthier options.

Nannies seem to forget that they are employees who are expected to do a job. Your entertainment and ability to get more downtime on the job isn't something that you should be advocating for or expecting your employers to prioritize.

[Anonymous]

What is good for your kids when I'm at work is still good for them when you're at home. What is bad for them when I'm at work is still bad when you're at home. Now is it your right to relax the rules when you're home. Sure it is. But you should be honest with yourself that it is because you don't have the energy to be on 100% of the time, and you should be able to understand that neither does your nanny.

Sorry, but no. Our nanny is paid to "be on" 100% of the time, just like I am at work. What I do at home, whether I relax the rules, is, as you say, my right. The role of nanny and parent are not equivalent.

[Anonymous]

Nannies are employees, yes, and employees an hour long lunch break in their 9-hour shifts. Nannies typically work 10 to 12 hour shifts. To say that we should not advocate for ANY downtime is downright hypocritical and shitty. I understand the limiting TV time or junk food for only the parents, fine, but some bit of downtime is still needed by employees regardless of profession.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

What is good for your kids when I'm at work is still good for them when you're at home. What is bad for them when I'm at work is still bad when you're at home. Now is it your right to relax the rules when you're home. Sure it is. But you should be honest with yourself that it is because you don't have the energy to be on 100% of the time, and you should be able to understand that neither does your nanny.

Sorry, but no. Our nanny is paid to "be on" 100% of the time, just like I am at work. What I do at home, whether I relax the rules, is, as you say, my right. The role of nanny and parent are not equivalent.

Really? You never surf the Internet for a moment, make a personal call, or have a chat with a coworker? You don't take a lunch break? As a nanny I get to do none of those things and must be on whenever the kids are awake. Nap time is spent scarfing down lunch, doing the mornings dishes, laundry, and whatever else needs to be done around the house. I eat standing up with a sandwich in one hand and am probably doing something else with the other. I don't resent my bosses for having a no tv rule during the day, and wouldn't use it if they allowed it. However I do think its lazy parenting to expect one standard from your nanny because its what you know is best for them, but you give them less than that when you're in charge. They are the ones that suffer, not me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

What is good for your kids when I'm at work is still good for them when you're at home. What is bad for them when I'm at work is still bad when you're at home. Now is it your right to relax the rules when you're home. Sure it is. But you should be honest with yourself that it is because you don't have the energy to be on 100% of the time, and you should be able to understand that neither does your nanny.

Sorry, but no. Our nanny is paid to "be on" 100% of the time, just like I am at work. What I do at home, whether I relax the rules, is, as you say, my right. The role of nanny and parent are not equivalent.

Really? You never surf the Internet for a moment, make a personal call, or have a chat with a coworker? You don't take a lunch break? As a nanny I get to do none of those things and must be on whenever the kids are awake. Nap time is spent scarfing down lunch, doing the mornings dishes, laundry, and whatever else needs to be done around the house. I eat standing up with a sandwich in one hand and am probably doing something else with the other. I don't resent my bosses for having a no tv rule during the day, and wouldn't use it if they allowed it. However I do think its lazy parenting to expect one standard from your nanny because its what you know is best for them, but you give them less than that when you're in charge. They are the ones that suffer, not me.

Exactly. That is what makes that MB a total hypocrite.

[Anonymous]

As a caring and educated nanny, I do not do tv or fast food on the job. I can't even imagine any professional nanny doing that. But a sitter would, in a heartbeat.
What's wrong with you people?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I did not read the OP's article, but I see some of this is about TV. I have a part time nanny 3 days a week. Most of these nannies on this board resent also being "housekeeper" or "house manager" without being paid more. On the days I am home all day with my toddler and baby I am "nanny," "housekeeper," and "house manager" all in one. I do not have my nanny much beyond standard "nanny" jobs, such as children's laundry. But on the days I am with my children, I also call and schedule appointments and household services, run errands with them, make all the meals (my nanny does not make dinner, I do every day), do the laundry for myself and DH, try to keep things in the house organized, and take care of household projects, cleaning out the fridge, etc. So you bet I put my child in front of the TV for a little while so I can get some of this done. Especially when my day began with them at 6:30 a.m. and doesn't end until they go to bed at night. And when one of them has a bad dream or is teething, I'm also up in the middle of the night. If you are a nanny with children maybe this is different, but mine does not have children, and I do expect her to be on her "A" game for the time she is here, and I do not allow her to put the children in front of the TV. I try to play with my kids and engage them as much as possible when I am home, but there is no way I can get it all done with some TV - I have way more duties around here than my nanny does and my days are much longer.

Yawn. Yet another MB playing the role of martyr. Oh woest me, my life as a working mom is so hard. Everyone feel sorry for me. Get over yourself. If having kids is such a huge burden, then perhaps you should've thought of that before you did the deed without getting sterilized first.

[Anonymous]

22:17, Shame on you for your evil nastiness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There's a big difference between consistency with pacifiers/diapers and McDonalds/TV. Its legitimate to be concerned about inconsistency with pacifiers and diapers as inconsistency will only prolong the difficulty in transition. McDonalds and TV is a different situations. Kids that enjoy these things are old enough to know that there are limits. The parents are under no obligation to "reserve" these for the nanny.

We allow the kids to watch 1 hour of TV a day on the weekends but have a no TV during the week rule. If we did allow it during the week for 30 minutes or whatever, I wouldn't feel to compelled to make sure it occurred during the time they are with the nanny. We also have a no fast food rule and see no benefit in the nanny taking the kids out to McDonalds. We do allow it if we are on vacation, at an airport or at a museum that doesn't have healthier options.

Nannies seem to forget that they are employees who are expected to do a job. Your entertainment and ability to get more downtime on the job isn't something that you should be advocating for or expecting your employers to prioritize.

Totally agree, and the pp saying nannies don't get an official lunch break - you CHOSE to work as a nanny and knew that. I'm really flabbergasted by some of the comments by apparent nannies on here. I don't know any of my nanny friends who are so obnoxiously entitled and play the martyr card over every little 'issue' they conceive as a hardship. We are NOT the parents but the employees...get it straight.

[Anonymous]

Not advocating for anything. I dont get a lunch break or downtime, and understand why. I dont get to watch tv on the job and understand why. Most employers will say the reason is because its all about what is best for the kids. Lets be honest. You don't want them watching tv, eating crap with me, or let me have too much down time because you want your moneys worth and you want to feel okay doing those things with your kids when you are home. Cool. But it is hypocritical, if you tell the nanny that we dont do such and such because its not good for them. That fact remains the same whether I am at work, or you are at home with your kids. There is never a good reason to be a hypocrit.