Au Pairs will soon lose their "upper hand"

[Anonymous]

Now that things are opening up entitled au pairs will no longer be able to demand all kinds of ridiculous perks any more. You are no longer in demand. Can't wait for this interview season.

[Anonymous]

LOL. So agencies will just go back to "difference in expectations" to explain away why they endager our kid's safety?

[Anonymous]

I don't think those demands will go away any time soon. Even with 100x the aupairs arriving. We didn't agree to them in the first place because it just didn't make financial sense. A local option was available which did. It's a risky road to offer much less and then open yourself up to an immediate rematch once they are here and find the grass is greener somewhere else.

I think the competition will be less and it will stop the escalation of the demands. I doubt the dedicated car/own bathroom/gym membership/cellphone stuff is going away anytime soon. We never pay over stipend so I assume that one will stop escalating too.

Offer what you want. I can't imagine stretching my family's budget thin for an aupair.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think those demands will go away any time soon. Even with 100x the aupairs arriving. We didn't agree to them in the first place because it just didn't make financial sense. A local option was available which did. It's a risky road to offer much less and then open yourself up to an immediate rematch once they are here and find the grass is greener somewhere else.

I think the competition will be less and it will stop the escalation of the demands. I doubt the dedicated car/own bathroom/gym membership/cellphone stuff is going away anytime soon. We never pay over stipend so I assume that one will stop escalating too.

Offer what you want. I can't imagine stretching my family's budget thin for an aupair.

+1

It's social media that drives their demands, so as long as there is one au pair driving a Mercedes in Beverly Hills and living in her own guesthouse, they will all think they deserve that. They all want to be like the au pair who is living the glamorous life on Insta (half of which is BS. My former au pair used to go to fancy stores like Saks and try on outfits so she could take pictures of herself wearing Chanel and fur coats that she could never in a million years afford, just for the Insta likes. If I had found her social media before matching, I never would have matched with her. What a terrible role model for my daughters! And she sulked because I didn't buy her an iPhone. I didn't buy myself one, either!).

[Anonymous]

We are looking for a specific language - and there are literally no au pairs available - so it really depends. If you don't care about language, it might be more flexible for you. But for us, the language is the reason we do the program.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think those demands will go away any time soon. Even with 100x the aupairs arriving. We didn't agree to them in the first place because it just didn't make financial sense. A local option was available which did. It's a risky road to offer much less and then open yourself up to an immediate rematch once they are here and find the grass is greener somewhere else.

I think the competition will be less and it will stop the escalation of the demands. I doubt the dedicated car/own bathroom/gym membership/cellphone stuff is going away anytime soon. We never pay over stipend so I assume that one will stop escalating too.

Offer what you want. I can't imagine stretching my family's budget thin for an aupair.

+1

It's social media that drives their demands, so as long as there is one au pair driving a Mercedes in Beverly Hills and living in her own guesthouse, they will all think they deserve that. They all want to be like the au pair who is living the glamorous life on Insta (half of which is BS. My former au pair used to go to fancy stores like Saks and try on outfits so she could take pictures of herself wearing Chanel and fur coats that she could never in a million years afford, just for the Insta likes. If I had found her social media before matching, I never would have matched with her. What a terrible role model for my daughters! And she sulked because I didn't buy her an iPhone. I didn't buy myself one, either!).

Yup. Ours was very envious of her AP friend whose host family had a private jet, so they could travel over the holidays while we were working our butts off in the ICU during the winter surge. The friends are the worst

[Anonymous]

We just went through this issue this year. We had an au pair leave right when covid started due to mental health issues. We waited 5 months for a new one to arrive in the summer and did so via special needs exemption. 2 weeks in we were informed that after speaking with other au pairs that they all now work 25 instead of 45 hours a week, they now earn 1.5 times as much, they now have every federal holiday off and vacation has been increased as well. We said we don't care and you can leave if you want (in a much nicer way). This au pair half assed it for 8 months, and now when she found a vacancy in a wealthy family with older kids she asked for a rematch. Almost all of her friends rematched as well. It leaves parents with a lot of uncertainty and most importantly puts children in a disadvantage. So why go through with all of this? Well some people are desperate. In our case it wasn't financially possible to handle stay at home spouse, the cost of a child with special needs, and a full time nanny. What can be done? I think that agencies are well aware of this abuse but choose to look the other way. I think that many au pairs should be sent home instead of rematched, especially if they do this multiple times. I would not recommend this type of program right now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We just went through this issue this year. We had an au pair leave right when covid started due to mental health issues. We waited 5 months for a new one to arrive in the summer and did so via special needs exemption. 2 weeks in we were informed that after speaking with other au pairs that they all now work 25 instead of 45 hours a week, they now earn 1.5 times as much, they now have every federal holiday off and vacation has been increased as well. We said we don't care and you can leave if you want (in a much nicer way). This au pair half assed it for 8 months, and now when she found a vacancy in a wealthy family with older kids she asked for a rematch. Almost all of her friends rematched as well. It leaves parents with a lot of uncertainty and most importantly puts children in a disadvantage. So why go through with all of this? Well some people are desperate. In our case it wasn't financially possible to handle stay at home spouse, the cost of a child with special needs, and a full time nanny. What can be done? I think that agencies are well aware of this abuse but choose to look the other way. I think that many au pairs should be sent home instead of rematched, especially if they do this multiple times. I would not recommend this type of program right now.

Exactly. And at the end of the day, the kids suffer. Ours also went home due to MH issues. Never disclosed a history of MH issues on her application, but only after she came did we come to learn she's been seeing a counselor. Agencies are aware of teh horrid behavir but punt it back to host families

[Anonymous]

I don't know.....I've never found the pool that great. We've always offered the $200 stipend AR a minimum and pay the federal minimum wage including any OT if there are every hours worked 41-45. AuPair car, dedicated AP suite, and yes...all federal holidays (they don't work when we don't work).

I'm VERY clear about that on out profile a d have socialized that on the various Facebook groups when we've needed to attract an in country AP.

So many bad APs out there, we prefer to have the upper hand in the selection process which comes with the peace of mind our kids are win good hands.

Never had a rematch, except at the start of Covid when our AP got spooked and wants to go home. We very quickly picked up an in country AP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know.....I've never found the pool that great. We've always offered the $200 stipend AR a minimum and pay the federal minimum wage including any OT if there are every hours worked 41-45. AuPair car, dedicated AP suite, and yes...all federal holidays (they don't work when we don't work).

I'm VERY clear about that on out profile a d have socialized that on the various Facebook groups when we've needed to attract an in country AP.

So many bad APs out there, we prefer to have the upper hand in the selection process which comes with the peace of mind our kids are win good hands.

Never had a rematch, except at the start of Covid when our AP got spooked and wants to go home. We very quickly picked up an in country AP.

+1
I've didnt have to pay over stipend or offer anything extravagant to match last summer. I'm not sure why a family would in order to match. You are attracting the wrong type of aupair. Offer what is fair for your schedule and the job but don't try to match like it's a bidding war.

There is zero possibility I would be guilted/forced/coerced into paying more for childcare by an aupair.

[Anonymous]

You all are talking about Au pairs like they’re coming here to work as you demand.
Yes, there are awful Au pairs that are looking for luxurious accommodation and fancy photos for their insta, but there’s also great Au pairs that put their heart in the program. I’m sorry if you had a bad experience.
You all are talking how you need the childcare and I just want to remind you, Au pairs are here for a CULTURAL exchange experience, not for you to work their asses off. If you’re not financially able to afford an Au pair willing to treat her/him like a human being and give her/him a fair treat DO NOT GET AN AU PAIR. They left their homes, friends and family to pursue a dream or experiences, not for you to treat them like garbage and expect them to work without making any mistakes and giving a 100%.
I would also add that I’m so sure that ANY of you would do the same insta photos if you were living the same experience being single and having not kids. I’m sure you all did worse things when you were younger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You all are talking about Au pairs like they’re coming here to work as you demand.
Yes, there are awful Au pairs that are looking for luxurious accommodation and fancy photos for their insta, but there’s also great Au pairs that put their heart in the program. I’m sorry if you had a bad experience.
You all are talking how you need the childcare and I just want to remind you, Au pairs are here for a CULTURAL exchange experience, not for you to work their asses off. If you’re not financially able to afford an Au pair willing to treat her/him like a human being and give her/him a fair treat DO NOT GET AN AU PAIR. They left their homes, friends and family to pursue a dream or experiences, not for you to treat them like garbage and expect them to work without making any mistakes and giving a 100%.
I would also add that I’m so sure that ANY of you would do the same insta photos if you were living the same experience being single and having not kids. I’m sure you all did worse things when you were younger.

Thanks, Pollyanna. Cultural exchange does not mean only out for the bling. I have loved many of our au pairs but lately it's gotten ridiculous. Noone said anything about working their assess off. Mine rarely work the 45 hour weeks. But there have been bidding wars and you can not deny that

[Anonymous]

I’m not denying it and it is ridiculous and I do not support it. But that’s why you get to talk to them first. And I know that some are very good hiding their flaws and most families do to, obviously.
I’m glad you treated you Au pairs well, I respect that, but that doesn’t mean there’s tons of Au pairs being poorly treated and discriminated against.
I’m saying this specifically for the person who complained about her Au pair tryin on expensive clothes for the internet, LET HER BE. It’s not like Americans don’t do the same. We all make mistakes, and do silly things in our young season. If it’s not affecting the quality of her childcare, let her enjoy her free time whoever she pleases. Thank goodness there’s a rematch option, and I’m saying this on both ways.

[Anonymous]

Could you please just for a second stay in a au pair shoes? They are leaving their countries, their families, their houses to come here and take care of our children for a $4USD an hour. Plus have to deal not just with the kids that sometimes are spoiled, also with evil host parents that put them to work in awful schedules. And then criticize them and their job with the excuse that they are paying them, they are giving them a home and food ? (It is no the minimum thing that you should give to someone who works for your for 4 dollars?) if having an au pair is such a pain, why don’t you hire a nanny? Or why don’t you just take care of your own kids instead of supporting the idea that au pairs just want to be millionaires.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Could you please just for a second stay in a au pair shoes? They are leaving their countries, their families, their houses to come here and take care of our children for a $4USD an hour. Plus have to deal not just with the kids that sometimes are spoiled, also with evil host parents that put them to work in awful schedules. And then criticize them and their job with the excuse that they are paying them, they are giving them a home and food ? (It is no the minimum thing that you should give to someone who works for your for 4 dollars?) if having an au pair is such a pain, why don’t you hire a nanny? Or why don’t you just take care of your own kids instead of supporting the idea that au pairs just want to be millionaires.

I've been there (former peace corps volunteer), and the AP life is rich compared to what we had. And yes, we are now going with a nanny. I am happy to shell out way more $$ for quality, professional childcare.