Au Pairs will soon lose their "upper hand"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Now that things are opening up entitled au pairs will no longer be able to demand all kinds of ridiculous perks any more. You are no longer in demand. Can't wait for this interview season.

Maybe the au pair route is not for you? Such hostility.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are looking for a specific language - and there are literally no au pairs available - so it really depends. If you don't care about language, it might be more flexible for you. But for us, the language is the reason we do the program.

The only language that matters is English.

And you seem to speak English. So, what's the issue?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are looking for a specific language - and there are literally no au pairs available - so it really depends. If you don't care about language, it might be more flexible for you. But for us, the language is the reason we do the program.

The only language that matters is English.

And you seem to speak English. So, what's the issue?

You are waiving the neo-fascist, nativist flag hard, Trumpie. Yuck. We only speak the target immersion language at home with our kids, as do our au pairs. We believe strongly in bilingual education and also want kids to speak with their grandparents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Now that things are opening up entitled au pairs will no longer be able to demand all kinds of ridiculous perks any more. You are no longer in demand. Can't wait for this interview season.

Maybe the au pair route is not for you? Such hostility.

Nope, we bounced after dealing with one too many princesses

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think that these type of conversations and attitudes are the reason why we are leaving the program. The constant misuse of the word cultural exchange.
After 2 years in this program this nonsense is what creates problems. What do you expect host parents to do? Are we supposed to provide grand tours? Do we need to entertain our au pairs? The main reason families find au pairs is for childcare. I cannot take an au pair on a tour because who will watch the kids? I am a special needs parent than I cannot take my kids anywhere but a playground etc. So the only time I myself can go anywhere is if au pair is babysitting. And this nonsense about go hire a professional nanny, it's ridiculous. Au pairs work is childcare and it is work and they should be professional and they should be experienced in this, and that's what their profiles and references say. My 2 au pairs rarely spoke with us they rarely left their room. The last one would take our toddler to the kids bedroom so they don't have to chase them then sit for an hour on the phone ignoring the kid. I would come in and politely explain that she can glance at her phone and take breaks but she is not a security guard. Sorry stop the bs about cultural exchange au pairs are welcome to interact with the family many choose not too. But they are nannys their wages are not just the stipend its the agency fees which cover plane tickets events and visas, and cost parents just as much. All of these details are disclosed and no one forces them to enter the program or to stay in it. But as the previous poster said the quality and motivation is quite poor. Rant over.

Au Pairs pay in their countries for their own visa, agency fees, insurance and plane tickets. If the agency says that you do, it's a lie and that's on them. They pay over 2000US dollars to come to the US, I think it's only fair if they get a good experience. Even tho a lot of au pairs go there seeking for a better life, a lot of them are in good conditions in their country and go there to travel and enjoy (THIS IS HOW THE AGENCIES SELL IT).

Then they should understand that their money is not going towards 100% fun. It's also going towards helping a family with childcare. That's the arrangement. If they dono't like it, just same your $2K and travel in the US. Good luck finding nice accomondations and meals handed to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are looking for a specific language - and there are literally no au pairs available - so it really depends. If you don't care about language, it might be more flexible for you. But for us, the language is the reason we do the program.

The only language that matters is English.

And you seem to speak English. So, what's the issue?

You are waiving the neo-fascist, nativist flag hard, Trumpie. Yuck. We only speak the target immersion language at home with our kids, as do our au pairs. We believe strongly in bilingual education and also want kids to speak with their grandparents.

People who only speak English are not very smart. The rest of the world speaks multiple languages

[Anonymous]

Au pairs see that nannies make $20-25/hour and get jealous. But they don't take into account that the nanny has to pay her rent/mortgage, food and other living costs with that money. Trust me, the au pair is getting the better deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Au pairs see that nannies make $20-25/hour and get jealous. But they don't take into account that the nanny has to pay her rent/mortgage, food and other living costs with that money. Trust me, the au pair is getting the better deal.

EXACTLY. And nannies actually have more experience and don't need such intense training so.....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think that these type of conversations and attitudes are the reason why we are leaving the program. The constant misuse of the word cultural exchange.
After 2 years in this program this nonsense is what creates problems. What do you expect host parents to do? Are we supposed to provide grand tours? Do we need to entertain our au pairs? The main reason families find au pairs is for childcare. I cannot take an au pair on a tour because who will watch the kids? I am a special needs parent than I cannot take my kids anywhere but a playground etc. So the only time I myself can go anywhere is if au pair is babysitting. And this nonsense about go hire a professional nanny, it's ridiculous. Au pairs work is childcare and it is work and they should be professional and they should be experienced in this, and that's what their profiles and references say. My 2 au pairs rarely spoke with us they rarely left their room. The last one would take our toddler to the kids bedroom so they don't have to chase them then sit for an hour on the phone ignoring the kid. I would come in and politely explain that she can glance at her phone and take breaks but she is not a security guard. Sorry stop the bs about cultural exchange au pairs are welcome to interact with the family many choose not too. But they are nannys their wages are not just the stipend its the agency fees which cover plane tickets events and visas, and cost parents just as much. All of these details are disclosed and no one forces them to enter the program or to stay in it. But as the previous poster said the quality and motivation is quite poor. Rant over.

Au Pairs pay in their countries for their own visa, agency fees, insurance and plane tickets. If the agency says that you do, it's a lie and that's on them. They pay over 2000US dollars to come to the US, I think it's only fair if they get a good experience. Even tho a lot of au pairs go there seeking for a better life, a lot of them are in good conditions in their country and go there to travel and enjoy (THIS IS HOW THE AGENCIES SELL IT).

Then they should understand that their money is not going towards 100% fun. It's also going towards helping a family with childcare. That's the arrangement. If they dono't like it, just same your $2K and travel in the US. Good luck finding nice accomondations and meals handed to you.

I understand that Au pairs pay something to enter the program, that eliminates a lot of the bad apples. Families pay agency fees almost equivalent to the stipend so its inaccurate to say cost is $4 per hour when its $8. The meals situation is ridiculous. Au pairs think that they are in a buffet. My wife is supposed to cook for them but they will not cook in return. If they do that would only be on childcare time which defeats the purpose. At some point we decided that its not our job to cook for our guests who do not in return. We would buy any ingredients or cooked food from the supermarket that au pair would request and the au pair can cook or eat whatever she wants on her own. We typically shop twice a week and fridge is loaded. But the point is that I hate that they treat this like they are on a cruise with 3 meals provided and we are their servants. That was our experience the first 14 months. However the issue is as the title states that the program right now is broken. A rich family that always order delivery can just add an extra dish and again that's the kind of rematches that au pairs are looking for. Why not have housekeeper, a huge house, a not have to cook? Why take care of infants and toddlers when someone needs their 9 old driven to dance class while you can relax on you phone? Why not simply rematch and live in a different part of the country. In the end us parent who are clients of the program loose.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think that these type of conversations and attitudes are the reason why we are leaving the program. The constant misuse of the word cultural exchange.
After 2 years in this program this nonsense is what creates problems. What do you expect host parents to do? Are we supposed to provide grand tours? Do we need to entertain our au pairs? The main reason families find au pairs is for childcare. I cannot take an au pair on a tour because who will watch the kids? I am a special needs parent than I cannot take my kids anywhere but a playground etc. So the only time I myself can go anywhere is if au pair is babysitting. And this nonsense about go hire a professional nanny, it's ridiculous. Au pairs work is childcare and it is work and they should be professional and they should be experienced in this, and that's what their profiles and references say. My 2 au pairs rarely spoke with us they rarely left their room. The last one would take our toddler to the kids bedroom so they don't have to chase them then sit for an hour on the phone ignoring the kid. I would come in and politely explain that she can glance at her phone and take breaks but she is not a security guard. Sorry stop the bs about cultural exchange au pairs are welcome to interact with the family many choose not too. But they are nannys their wages are not just the stipend its the agency fees which cover plane tickets events and visas, and cost parents just as much. All of these details are disclosed and no one forces them to enter the program or to stay in it. But as the previous poster said the quality and motivation is quite poor. Rant over.

Au Pairs pay in their countries for their own visa, agency fees, insurance and plane tickets. If the agency says that you do, it's a lie and that's on them. They pay over 2000US dollars to come to the US, I think it's only fair if they get a good experience. Even tho a lot of au pairs go there seeking for a better life, a lot of them are in good conditions in their country and go there to travel and enjoy (THIS IS HOW THE AGENCIES SELL IT).

Then they should understand that their money is not going towards 100% fun. It's also going towards helping a family with childcare. That's the arrangement. If they dono't like it, just same your $2K and travel in the US. Good luck finding nice accomondations and meals handed to you.

I understand that Au pairs pay something to enter the program, that eliminates a lot of the bad apples. Families pay agency fees almost equivalent to the stipend so its inaccurate to say cost is $4 per hour when its $8. The meals situation is ridiculous. Au pairs think that they are in a buffet. My wife is supposed to cook for them but they will not cook in return. If they do that would only be on childcare time which defeats the purpose. At some point we decided that its not our job to cook for our guests who do not in return. We would buy any ingredients or cooked food from the supermarket that au pair would request and the au pair can cook or eat whatever she wants on her own. We typically shop twice a week and fridge is loaded. But the point is that I hate that they treat this like they are on a cruise with 3 meals provided and we are their servants. That was our experience the first 14 months. However the issue is as the title states that the program right now is broken. A rich family that always order delivery can just add an extra dish and again that's the kind of rematches that au pairs are looking for. Why not have housekeeper, a huge house, a not have to cook? Why take care of infants and toddlers when someone needs their 9 old driven to dance class while you can relax on you phone? Why not simply rematch and live in a different part of the country. In the end us parent who are clients of the program loose.

All this can be solved TALKING, people is missing the point of this exchange. You need to communicate, just imagine you marry a person you can't talk to and has so many different believes than you.
When you parents are looking for an au pair not only look for their experience but about them, look for someone with similar thoughts, that looks at the program in the same way as you, in this way you are going to be happy but also the au pair. A HAPPY WORKER DOES A BETTER JOB. It's super simple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think that these type of conversations and attitudes are the reason why we are leaving the program. The constant misuse of the word cultural exchange.
After 2 years in this program this nonsense is what creates problems. What do you expect host parents to do? Are we supposed to provide grand tours? Do we need to entertain our au pairs? The main reason families find au pairs is for childcare. I cannot take an au pair on a tour because who will watch the kids? I am a special needs parent than I cannot take my kids anywhere but a playground etc. So the only time I myself can go anywhere is if au pair is babysitting. And this nonsense about go hire a professional nanny, it's ridiculous. Au pairs work is childcare and it is work and they should be professional and they should be experienced in this, and that's what their profiles and references say. My 2 au pairs rarely spoke with us they rarely left their room. The last one would take our toddler to the kids bedroom so they don't have to chase them then sit for an hour on the phone ignoring the kid. I would come in and politely explain that she can glance at her phone and take breaks but she is not a security guard. Sorry stop the bs about cultural exchange au pairs are welcome to interact with the family many choose not too. But they are nannys their wages are not just the stipend its the agency fees which cover plane tickets events and visas, and cost parents just as much. All of these details are disclosed and no one forces them to enter the program or to stay in it. But as the previous poster said the quality and motivation is quite poor. Rant over.

Au Pairs pay in their countries for their own visa, agency fees, insurance and plane tickets. If the agency says that you do, it's a lie and that's on them. They pay over 2000US dollars to come to the US, I think it's only fair if they get a good experience. Even tho a lot of au pairs go there seeking for a better life, a lot of them are in good conditions in their country and go there to travel and enjoy (THIS IS HOW THE AGENCIES SELL IT).

Then they should understand that their money is not going towards 100% fun. It's also going towards helping a family with childcare. That's the arrangement. If they dono't like it, just same your $2K and travel in the US. Good luck finding nice accomondations and meals handed to you.

I understand that Au pairs pay something to enter the program, that eliminates a lot of the bad apples. Families pay agency fees almost equivalent to the stipend so its inaccurate to say cost is $4 per hour when its $8. The meals situation is ridiculous. Au pairs think that they are in a buffet. My wife is supposed to cook for them but they will not cook in return. If they do that would only be on childcare time which defeats the purpose. At some point we decided that its not our job to cook for our guests who do not in return. We would buy any ingredients or cooked food from the supermarket that au pair would request and the au pair can cook or eat whatever she wants on her own. We typically shop twice a week and fridge is loaded. But the point is that I hate that they treat this like they are on a cruise with 3 meals provided and we are their servants. That was our experience the first 14 months. However the issue is as the title states that the program right now is broken. A rich family that always order delivery can just add an extra dish and again that's the kind of rematches that au pairs are looking for. Why not have housekeeper, a huge house, a not have to cook? Why take care of infants and toddlers when someone needs their 9 old driven to dance class while you can relax on you phone? Why not simply rematch and live in a different part of the country. In the end us parent who are clients of the program loose.

All this can be solved TALKING, people is missing the point of this exchange. You need to communicate, just imagine you marry a person you can't talk to and has so many different believes than you.
When you parents are looking for an au pair not only look for their experience but about them, look for someone with similar thoughts, that looks at the program in the same way as you, in this way you are going to be happy but also the au pair. A HAPPY WORKER DOES A BETTER JOB. It's super simple.

Agree 100%. The thing is, many of us HF *do* spend loads of time talking, interviewing, going over the house handbook, etc. However, (and I am assuming you are an LCC or agency rep), you should realize that many of these girls say the right things to get the match---and once they get here it all goes downhill.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think that these type of conversations and attitudes are the reason why we are leaving the program. The constant misuse of the word cultural exchange.
After 2 years in this program this nonsense is what creates problems. What do you expect host parents to do? Are we supposed to provide grand tours? Do we need to entertain our au pairs? The main reason families find au pairs is for childcare. I cannot take an au pair on a tour because who will watch the kids? I am a special needs parent than I cannot take my kids anywhere but a playground etc. So the only time I myself can go anywhere is if au pair is babysitting. And this nonsense about go hire a professional nanny, it's ridiculous. Au pairs work is childcare and it is work and they should be professional and they should be experienced in this, and that's what their profiles and references say. My 2 au pairs rarely spoke with us they rarely left their room. The last one would take our toddler to the kids bedroom so they don't have to chase them then sit for an hour on the phone ignoring the kid. I would come in and politely explain that she can glance at her phone and take breaks but she is not a security guard. Sorry stop the bs about cultural exchange au pairs are welcome to interact with the family many choose not too. But they are nannys their wages are not just the stipend its the agency fees which cover plane tickets events and visas, and cost parents just as much. All of these details are disclosed and no one forces them to enter the program or to stay in it. But as the previous poster said the quality and motivation is quite poor. Rant over.

Au Pairs pay in their countries for their own visa, agency fees, insurance and plane tickets. If the agency says that you do, it's a lie and that's on them. They pay over 2000US dollars to come to the US, I think it's only fair if they get a good experience. Even tho a lot of au pairs go there seeking for a better life, a lot of them are in good conditions in their country and go there to travel and enjoy (THIS IS HOW THE AGENCIES SELL IT).

Then they should understand that their money is not going towards 100% fun. It's also going towards helping a family with childcare. That's the arrangement. If they dono't like it, just same your $2K and travel in the US. Good luck finding nice accomondations and meals handed to you.

I understand that Au pairs pay something to enter the program, that eliminates a lot of the bad apples. Families pay agency fees almost equivalent to the stipend so its inaccurate to say cost is $4 per hour when its $8. The meals situation is ridiculous. Au pairs think that they are in a buffet. My wife is supposed to cook for them but they will not cook in return. If they do that would only be on childcare time which defeats the purpose. At some point we decided that its not our job to cook for our guests who do not in return. We would buy any ingredients or cooked food from the supermarket that au pair would request and the au pair can cook or eat whatever she wants on her own. We typically shop twice a week and fridge is loaded. But the point is that I hate that they treat this like they are on a cruise with 3 meals provided and we are their servants. That was our experience the first 14 months. However the issue is as the title states that the program right now is broken. A rich family that always order delivery can just add an extra dish and again that's the kind of rematches that au pairs are looking for. Why not have housekeeper, a huge house, a not have to cook? Why take care of infants and toddlers when someone needs their 9 old driven to dance class while you can relax on you phone? Why not simply rematch and live in a different part of the country. In the end us parent who are clients of the program loose.

All this can be solved TALKING, people is missing the point of this exchange. You need to communicate, just imagine you marry a person you can't talk to and has so many different believes than you.
When you parents are looking for an au pair not only look for their experience but about them, look for someone with similar thoughts, that looks at the program in the same way as you, in this way you are going to be happy but also the au pair. A HAPPY WORKER DOES A BETTER JOB. It's super simple.

Agree 100%. The thing is, many of us HF *do* spend loads of time talking, interviewing, going over the house handbook, etc. However, (and I am assuming you are an LCC or agency rep), you should realize that many of these girls say the right things to get the match---and once they get here it all goes downhill.

If you were working abroad and you had an opportunity to get bigger house, your own bathroom, easier job, more pay, paid restaurant meals, better car etc. would you say well I will not leave because my employer spent hours interviewing me, going over handbooks, getting to know me, etc etc. No most of the au pairs coming over will take the better position. How motivated will you feel if your all of friends left for better jobs and you stayed. We can talk all we want, but until the agencies step up and put some rules in place it will be a mess. For example you can say if an au pair came to work with 0-2 year olds they will be reassigned to that group. Also investigate parents that game the system to steal away au pairs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think that these type of conversations and attitudes are the reason why we are leaving the program. The constant misuse of the word cultural exchange.
After 2 years in this program this nonsense is what creates problems. What do you expect host parents to do? Are we supposed to provide grand tours? Do we need to entertain our au pairs? The main reason families find au pairs is for childcare. I cannot take an au pair on a tour because who will watch the kids? I am a special needs parent than I cannot take my kids anywhere but a playground etc. So the only time I myself can go anywhere is if au pair is babysitting. And this nonsense about go hire a professional nanny, it's ridiculous. Au pairs work is childcare and it is work and they should be professional and they should be experienced in this, and that's what their profiles and references say. My 2 au pairs rarely spoke with us they rarely left their room. The last one would take our toddler to the kids bedroom so they don't have to chase them then sit for an hour on the phone ignoring the kid. I would come in and politely explain that she can glance at her phone and take breaks but she is not a security guard. Sorry stop the bs about cultural exchange au pairs are welcome to interact with the family many choose not too. But they are nannys their wages are not just the stipend its the agency fees which cover plane tickets events and visas, and cost parents just as much. All of these details are disclosed and no one forces them to enter the program or to stay in it. But as the previous poster said the quality and motivation is quite poor. Rant over.

Au Pairs pay in their countries for their own visa, agency fees, insurance and plane tickets. If the agency says that you do, it's a lie and that's on them. They pay over 2000US dollars to come to the US, I think it's only fair if they get a good experience. Even tho a lot of au pairs go there seeking for a better life, a lot of them are in good conditions in their country and go there to travel and enjoy (THIS IS HOW THE AGENCIES SELL IT).

Then they should understand that their money is not going towards 100% fun. It's also going towards helping a family with childcare. That's the arrangement. If they dono't like it, just same your $2K and travel in the US. Good luck finding nice accomondations and meals handed to you.

I understand that Au pairs pay something to enter the program, that eliminates a lot of the bad apples. Families pay agency fees almost equivalent to the stipend so its inaccurate to say cost is $4 per hour when its $8. The meals situation is ridiculous. Au pairs think that they are in a buffet. My wife is supposed to cook for them but they will not cook in return. If they do that would only be on childcare time which defeats the purpose. At some point we decided that its not our job to cook for our guests who do not in return. We would buy any ingredients or cooked food from the supermarket that au pair would request and the au pair can cook or eat whatever she wants on her own. We typically shop twice a week and fridge is loaded. But the point is that I hate that they treat this like they are on a cruise with 3 meals provided and we are their servants. That was our experience the first 14 months. However the issue is as the title states that the program right now is broken. A rich family that always order delivery can just add an extra dish and again that's the kind of rematches that au pairs are looking for. Why not have housekeeper, a huge house, a not have to cook? Why take care of infants and toddlers when someone needs their 9 old driven to dance class while you can relax on you phone? Why not simply rematch and live in a different part of the country. In the end us parent who are clients of the program loose.

All this can be solved TALKING, people is missing the point of this exchange. You need to communicate, just imagine you marry a person you can't talk to and has so many different believes than you.
When you parents are looking for an au pair not only look for their experience but about them, look for someone with similar thoughts, that looks at the program in the same way as you, in this way you are going to be happy but also the au pair. A HAPPY WORKER DOES A BETTER JOB. It's super simple.

Agree 100%. The thing is, many of us HF *do* spend loads of time talking, interviewing, going over the house handbook, etc. However, (and I am assuming you are an LCC or agency rep), you should realize that many of these girls say the right things to get the match---and once they get here it all goes downhill.

If you were working abroad and you had an opportunity to get bigger house, your own bathroom, easier job, more pay, paid restaurant meals, better car etc. would you say well I will not leave because my employer spent hours interviewing me, going over handbooks, getting to know me, etc etc. No most of the au pairs coming over will take the better position. How motivated will you feel if your all of friends left for better jobs and you stayed. We can talk all we want, but until the agencies step up and put some rules in place it will be a mess. For example you can say if an au pair came to work with 0-2 year olds they will be reassigned to that group. Also investigate parents that game the system to steal away au pairs.

I honor my commitment. If I am not being abused, I wouldn't leave kids hanging just for materialistic things. You sound incredibly shallow. I would say I need better friends and not sheep. Do what you want, just don't expect a glowing recommendation letter or reference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think that these type of conversations and attitudes are the reason why we are leaving the program. The constant misuse of the word cultural exchange.
After 2 years in this program this nonsense is what creates problems. What do you expect host parents to do? Are we supposed to provide grand tours? Do we need to entertain our au pairs? The main reason families find au pairs is for childcare. I cannot take an au pair on a tour because who will watch the kids? I am a special needs parent than I cannot take my kids anywhere but a playground etc. So the only time I myself can go anywhere is if au pair is babysitting. And this nonsense about go hire a professional nanny, it's ridiculous. Au pairs work is childcare and it is work and they should be professional and they should be experienced in this, and that's what their profiles and references say. My 2 au pairs rarely spoke with us they rarely left their room. The last one would take our toddler to the kids bedroom so they don't have to chase them then sit for an hour on the phone ignoring the kid. I would come in and politely explain that she can glance at her phone and take breaks but she is not a security guard. Sorry stop the bs about cultural exchange au pairs are welcome to interact with the family many choose not too. But they are nannys their wages are not just the stipend its the agency fees which cover plane tickets events and visas, and cost parents just as much. All of these details are disclosed and no one forces them to enter the program or to stay in it. But as the previous poster said the quality and motivation is quite poor. Rant over.

Au Pairs pay in their countries for their own visa, agency fees, insurance and plane tickets. If the agency says that you do, it's a lie and that's on them. They pay over 2000US dollars to come to the US, I think it's only fair if they get a good experience. Even tho a lot of au pairs go there seeking for a better life, a lot of them are in good conditions in their country and go there to travel and enjoy (THIS IS HOW THE AGENCIES SELL IT).

Then they should understand that their money is not going towards 100% fun. It's also going towards helping a family with childcare. That's the arrangement. If they dono't like it, just same your $2K and travel in the US. Good luck finding nice accomondations and meals handed to you.

I understand that Au pairs pay something to enter the program, that eliminates a lot of the bad apples. Families pay agency fees almost equivalent to the stipend so its inaccurate to say cost is $4 per hour when its $8. The meals situation is ridiculous. Au pairs think that they are in a buffet. My wife is supposed to cook for them but they will not cook in return. If they do that would only be on childcare time which defeats the purpose. At some point we decided that its not our job to cook for our guests who do not in return. We would buy any ingredients or cooked food from the supermarket that au pair would request and the au pair can cook or eat whatever she wants on her own. We typically shop twice a week and fridge is loaded. But the point is that I hate that they treat this like they are on a cruise with 3 meals provided and we are their servants. That was our experience the first 14 months. However the issue is as the title states that the program right now is broken. A rich family that always order delivery can just add an extra dish and again that's the kind of rematches that au pairs are looking for. Why not have housekeeper, a huge house, a not have to cook? Why take care of infants and toddlers when someone needs their 9 old driven to dance class while you can relax on you phone? Why not simply rematch and live in a different part of the country. In the end us parent who are clients of the program loose.

All this can be solved TALKING, people is missing the point of this exchange. You need to communicate, just imagine you marry a person you can't talk to and has so many different believes than you.
When you parents are looking for an au pair not only look for their experience but about them, look for someone with similar thoughts, that looks at the program in the same way as you, in this way you are going to be happy but also the au pair. A HAPPY WORKER DOES A BETTER JOB. It's super simple.

Agree 100%. The thing is, many of us HF *do* spend loads of time talking, interviewing, going over the house handbook, etc. However, (and I am assuming you are an LCC or agency rep), you should realize that many of these girls say the right things to get the match---and once they get here it all goes downhill.

If you were working abroad and you had an opportunity to get bigger house, your own bathroom, easier job, more pay, paid restaurant meals, better car etc. would you say well I will not leave because my employer spent hours interviewing me, going over handbooks, getting to know me, etc etc. No most of the au pairs coming over will take the better position. How motivated will you feel if your all of friends left for better jobs and you stayed. We can talk all we want, but until the agencies step up and put some rules in place it will be a mess. For example you can say if an au pair came to work with 0-2 year olds they will be reassigned to that group. Also investigate parents that game the system to steal away au pairs.

I honor my commitment. If I am not being abused, I wouldn't leave kids hanging just for materialistic things. You sound incredibly shallow. I would say I need better friends and not sheep. Do what you want, just don't expect a glowing recommendation letter or reference.

Personally, same here, I would never break my contract with a family nor would I ignore children. I am saying that most of the au pairs in my area have rematched. They have left, so its not just ours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think that these type of conversations and attitudes are the reason why we are leaving the program. The constant misuse of the word cultural exchange.
After 2 years in this program this nonsense is what creates problems. What do you expect host parents to do? Are we supposed to provide grand tours? Do we need to entertain our au pairs? The main reason families find au pairs is for childcare. I cannot take an au pair on a tour because who will watch the kids? I am a special needs parent than I cannot take my kids anywhere but a playground etc. So the only time I myself can go anywhere is if au pair is babysitting. And this nonsense about go hire a professional nanny, it's ridiculous. Au pairs work is childcare and it is work and they should be professional and they should be experienced in this, and that's what their profiles and references say. My 2 au pairs rarely spoke with us they rarely left their room. The last one would take our toddler to the kids bedroom so they don't have to chase them then sit for an hour on the phone ignoring the kid. I would come in and politely explain that she can glance at her phone and take breaks but she is not a security guard. Sorry stop the bs about cultural exchange au pairs are welcome to interact with the family many choose not too. But they are nannys their wages are not just the stipend its the agency fees which cover plane tickets events and visas, and cost parents just as much. All of these details are disclosed and no one forces them to enter the program or to stay in it. But as the previous poster said the quality and motivation is quite poor. Rant over.

Au Pairs pay in their countries for their own visa, agency fees, insurance and plane tickets. If the agency says that you do, it's a lie and that's on them. They pay over 2000US dollars to come to the US, I think it's only fair if they get a good experience. Even tho a lot of au pairs go there seeking for a better life, a lot of them are in good conditions in their country and go there to travel and enjoy (THIS IS HOW THE AGENCIES SELL IT).

Then they should understand that their money is not going towards 100% fun. It's also going towards helping a family with childcare. That's the arrangement. If they dono't like it, just same your $2K and travel in the US. Good luck finding nice accomondations and meals handed to you.

I understand that Au pairs pay something to enter the program, that eliminates a lot of the bad apples. Families pay agency fees almost equivalent to the stipend so its inaccurate to say cost is $4 per hour when its $8. The meals situation is ridiculous. Au pairs think that they are in a buffet. My wife is supposed to cook for them but they will not cook in return. If they do that would only be on childcare time which defeats the purpose. At some point we decided that its not our job to cook for our guests who do not in return. We would buy any ingredients or cooked food from the supermarket that au pair would request and the au pair can cook or eat whatever she wants on her own. We typically shop twice a week and fridge is loaded. But the point is that I hate that they treat this like they are on a cruise with 3 meals provided and we are their servants. That was our experience the first 14 months. However the issue is as the title states that the program right now is broken. A rich family that always order delivery can just add an extra dish and again that's the kind of rematches that au pairs are looking for. Why not have housekeeper, a huge house, a not have to cook? Why take care of infants and toddlers when someone needs their 9 old driven to dance class while you can relax on you phone? Why not simply rematch and live in a different part of the country. In the end us parent who are clients of the program loose.

All this can be solved TALKING, people is missing the point of this exchange. You need to communicate, just imagine you marry a person you can't talk to and has so many different believes than you.
When you parents are looking for an au pair not only look for their experience but about them, look for someone with similar thoughts, that looks at the program in the same way as you, in this way you are going to be happy but also the au pair. A HAPPY WORKER DOES A BETTER JOB. It's super simple.

Agree 100%. The thing is, many of us HF *do* spend loads of time talking, interviewing, going over the house handbook, etc. However, (and I am assuming you are an LCC or agency rep), you should realize that many of these girls say the right things to get the match---and once they get here it all goes downhill.

If you were working abroad and you had an opportunity to get bigger house, your own bathroom, easier job, more pay, paid restaurant meals, better car etc. would you say well I will not leave because my employer spent hours interviewing me, going over handbooks, getting to know me, etc etc. No most of the au pairs coming over will take the better position. How motivated will you feel if your all of friends left for better jobs and you stayed. We can talk all we want, but until the agencies step up and put some rules in place it will be a mess. For example you can say if an au pair came to work with 0-2 year olds they will be reassigned to that group. Also investigate parents that game the system to steal away au pairs.

What if we found another young woman on facebook who was funner to be around? Who was more excited about learning about our family? Who was more playful with kids and had more driving experience? Who was actually interested in learning? Maybe I should just make up a reason and rematch and give the au pair (who is absolutely fine) only 2 weeks to find a family or be sent home? See how that works?