Au Pairs will soon lose their "upper hand"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've been there (former peace corps volunteer), and the AP life is rich compared to what we had. And yes, we are now going with a nanny. I am happy to shell out way more $$ for quality, professional childcare.

Good!! I’m so glad you’re leaving the program, it is obvious that you don’t understand how it works and you shouldn’t be in it. Again, AU PAIR IS NOT A NANNY PROGRAM, IT’S A CULTURAL EXCHANGE PROGRAM. Shameful how some of you ladies are expecting foreign girls to do your job as a mother. Disappointing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Could you please just for a second stay in a au pair shoes? They are leaving their countries, their families, their houses to come here and take care of our children for a $4USD an hour. Plus have to deal not just with the kids that sometimes are spoiled, also with evil host parents that put them to work in awful schedules. And then criticize them and their job with the excuse that they are paying them, they are giving them a home and food ? (It is no the minimum thing that you should give to someone who works for your for 4 dollars?) if having an au pair is such a pain, why don’t you hire a nanny? Or why don’t you just take care of your own kids instead of supporting the idea that au pairs just want to be millionaires.

It's not $4 an hour, unless you think that housing, food, cars, and cell phones grow on trees and don't cost the host family money. I would actually be thrilled to pay my au pair the going rate for nannies, if she would pay for her own expenses and find her own housing.

And now that I am working from home permanently due to the pandemic, I do take care of my own kids. So I don't have to be a visa provider for people who lied and forged references about their fake childcare experience to get matched, then skipped out on their visa to become a prostitute (yes, that's what my former au pair does now, because she has no skills other than f*$#ing).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been there (former peace corps volunteer), and the AP life is rich compared to what we had. And yes, we are now going with a nanny. I am happy to shell out way more $$ for quality, professional childcare.

Good!! I’m so glad you’re leaving the program, it is obvious that you don’t understand how it works and you shouldn’t be in it. Again, AU PAIR IS NOT A NANNY PROGRAM, IT’S A CULTURAL EXCHANGE PROGRAM. Shameful how some of you ladies are expecting foreign girls to do your job as a mother. Disappointing.

Honey, we paid our au pair $300/week for one child and we ended up getting screwed over at the end. You don't know what you are talking about, unless cultural exchange to you just involves hanging out at the mall, only finding other girls from your country to gossip with, or sitting in your room all day watching hulu and skyping with your friends back home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And now that I am working from home permanently due to the pandemic, I do take care of my own kids. So I don't have to be a visa provider for people who lied and forged references about their fake childcare experience to get matched, then skipped out on their visa to become a prostitute (yes, that's what my former au pair does now, because she has no skills other than f*$#ing).

How full of yourself you have to be?? Geez lady!
First of all, you don’t provide the visa dummy, the government does, and you don’t pay for it either, so get off your little cloud.
I’m sure you’re probably not lying about what happened but that doesn’t mean everyone is the same. So, chill out Karen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honey, we paid our au pair $300/week for one child and we ended up getting screwed over at the end. You don't know what you are talking about, unless cultural exchange to you just involves hanging out at the mall, only finding other girls from your country to gossip with, or sitting in your room all day watching hulu and skyping with your friends back home.

Honey!! I’d love to see you engaging in a different country. With a different language, traditions, culture, sense of humor, weather, without ANY family and friends and living in a house with a bitchy mom that complains about her Au pair not being enough mother for her children. If you can afford $300 dlls plus housing and paying an agency, why don’t you just quit your job and do it by yourself? I’m sure you can’t handle it any better sweetie.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honey, we paid our au pair $300/week for one child and we ended up getting screwed over at the end. You don't know what you are talking about, unless cultural exchange to you just involves hanging out at the mall, only finding other girls from your country to gossip with, or sitting in your room all day watching hulu and skyping with your friends back home.

Honey!! I’d love to see you engaging in a different country. With a different language, traditions, culture, sense of humor, weather, without ANY family and friends and living in a house with a bitchy mom that complains about her Au pair not being enough mother for her children. If you can afford $300 dlls plus housing and paying an agency, why don’t you just quit your job and do it by yourself? I’m sure you can’t handle it any better sweetie.

As I said, I'm a former peace corps volunteer. If you had any clue about hardship regarding working in a different country, you would know that an au pair life is cush compared to PCV. And,

Not sure where I complained about au pair not being a "mother" enough, but my finances are none of your business

[Anonymous]

I think that these type of conversations and attitudes are the reason why we are leaving the program. The constant misuse of the word cultural exchange.
After 2 years in this program this nonsense is what creates problems. What do you expect host parents to do? Are we supposed to provide grand tours? Do we need to entertain our au pairs? The main reason families find au pairs is for childcare. I cannot take an au pair on a tour because who will watch the kids? I am a special needs parent than I cannot take my kids anywhere but a playground etc. So the only time I myself can go anywhere is if au pair is babysitting. And this nonsense about go hire a professional nanny, it's ridiculous. Au pairs work is childcare and it is work and they should be professional and they should be experienced in this, and that's what their profiles and references say. My 2 au pairs rarely spoke with us they rarely left their room. The last one would take our toddler to the kids bedroom so they don't have to chase them then sit for an hour on the phone ignoring the kid. I would come in and politely explain that she can glance at her phone and take breaks but she is not a security guard. Sorry stop the bs about cultural exchange au pairs are welcome to interact with the family many choose not too. But they are nannys their wages are not just the stipend its the agency fees which cover plane tickets events and visas, and cost parents just as much. All of these details are disclosed and no one forces them to enter the program or to stay in it. But as the previous poster said the quality and motivation is quite poor. Rant over.

[Anonymous]

Just to clarify my previous post. The cultural exchange portion this happens from meeting other aupairs and people and interacting with the family. But often what au pairs expect (a study abroad type college experience) and what they get ( a chance to live in a foreign country learn the language and interact with a family while babysitting children) is not the same.

[Anonymous]

Okay well , this is an exchange program , we didn’t come here just for taking care of your kids we came here to have fun too. We are human and we are not your slaves. You are paying us $4 per hours and a nanny get $20 per hour. It isn’t enough ? What’s wrong with the IG ? I want to have fun in my free time after a long and stressful work day. What’s wrong with you ? We paid for this too remember always this !!! It is an exchange program. Go work , find another job and pay a nanny if you can’t understand what is an exchange program , it’s America go work hard.

[Anonymous]

That face book rematch/extension page is the death of all of us. They get their foot in the door then intermediately start perk shopping. The agencies care nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Okay well , this is an exchange program , we didn’t come here just for taking care of your kids we came here to have fun too. We are human and we are not your slaves. You are paying us $4 per hours and a nanny get $20 per hour. It isn’t enough ? What’s wrong with the IG ? I want to have fun in my free time after a long and stressful work day. What’s wrong with you ? We paid for this too remember always this !!! It is an exchange program. Go work , find another job and pay a nanny if you can’t understand what is an exchange program , it’s America go work hard.

It’s also a job. If you don’t like it do study abroad. It’s that simple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Okay well , this is an exchange program , we didn’t come here just for taking care of your kids we came here to have fun too. We are human and we are not your slaves. You are paying us $4 per hours and a nanny get $20 per hour. It isn’t enough ? What’s wrong with the IG ? I want to have fun in my free time after a long and stressful work day. What’s wrong with you ? We paid for this too remember always this !!! It is an exchange program. Go work , find another job and pay a nanny if you can’t understand what is an exchange program , it’s America go work hard.

You get room and board, food, utilities, cell phone, and in many cases, a car and car insurance. That’s better than what many Americans are living with these days. If that’s not good enough then don’t be an Au pair. All of this information is available prior to your arrival

[Anonymous]

Just wanted to pop in here and remind you that au pairs also pay for this program and as someone that pays for a service... THEY CAN ask for whatever they feel they deserve. Don't be so selfish and communicate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honey, we paid our au pair $300/week for one child and we ended up getting screwed over at the end. You don't know what you are talking about, unless cultural exchange to you just involves hanging out at the mall, only finding other girls from your country to gossip with, or sitting in your room all day watching hulu and skyping with your friends back home.

Honey!! I’d love to see you engaging in a different country. With a different language, traditions, culture, sense of humor, weather, without ANY family and friends and living in a house with a bitchy mom that complains about her Au pair not being enough mother for her children. If you can afford $300 dlls plus housing and paying an agency, why don’t you just quit your job and do it by yourself? I’m sure you can’t handle it any better sweetie.

This is really sexist

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think that these type of conversations and attitudes are the reason why we are leaving the program. The constant misuse of the word cultural exchange.
After 2 years in this program this nonsense is what creates problems. What do you expect host parents to do? Are we supposed to provide grand tours? Do we need to entertain our au pairs? The main reason families find au pairs is for childcare. I cannot take an au pair on a tour because who will watch the kids? I am a special needs parent than I cannot take my kids anywhere but a playground etc. So the only time I myself can go anywhere is if au pair is babysitting. And this nonsense about go hire a professional nanny, it's ridiculous. Au pairs work is childcare and it is work and they should be professional and they should be experienced in this, and that's what their profiles and references say. My 2 au pairs rarely spoke with us they rarely left their room. The last one would take our toddler to the kids bedroom so they don't have to chase them then sit for an hour on the phone ignoring the kid. I would come in and politely explain that she can glance at her phone and take breaks but she is not a security guard. Sorry stop the bs about cultural exchange au pairs are welcome to interact with the family many choose not too. But they are nannys their wages are not just the stipend its the agency fees which cover plane tickets events and visas, and cost parents just as much. All of these details are disclosed and no one forces them to enter the program or to stay in it. But as the previous poster said the quality and motivation is quite poor. Rant over.

Au Pairs pay in their countries for their own visa, agency fees, insurance and plane tickets. If the agency says that you do, it's a lie and that's on them. They pay over 2000US dollars to come to the US, I think it's only fair if they get a good experience. Even tho a lot of au pairs go there seeking for a better life, a lot of them are in good conditions in their country and go there to travel and enjoy (THIS IS HOW THE AGENCIES SELL IT).