Au Pairs leaving because of coronavirus?

[Anonymous]

Anyone worried about their au pair wanting to go home because of the coronavirus? Schools are closing, parents are working from home, events are getting canceled, travel is getting restricted. This is not what they signed up for. Add to that a lot of their Home Countries are greatly affected. They may just want to be with their family. I seriously think a lot of au pairs are just going to want to go home.

[Anonymous]

That would not be a smart move as they will probably catch the disease on their way home. None of my AP friends are talking about going home because of this, in the contrary those who were planning to go renew their visa and see family are reconsidering it.

[Anonymous]

They'll stay and just be noncompliant about social distancing until they get sent to rematch. Then they'll go home, because who wants to deal with that? This pandemic situation is stressful enough.

[Anonymous]

Some of my AP friends are looking to go home (I am not), mostly due to the fact that their HF have become extremely paranoid since the ban and so now on top of having to stay home with the kids and parents all day, some families are prohibiting them from leaving the house at all under any circumstances during their free time, plenty of APs have also seen their trip home or their family's visit cancelled and so for quite a lot the idea of having to potentially live here longer but between 4 walls and going home to their family and friends and have freedom of movement, is something to consider.

I don't blame them. For Au Pairs who have 1/2/3 months left, what's the point of being here if they are stuck at home and can't enjoy the US for potentially the remainer of their stay?

I love my host family, so I have no interest in leaving them to go home but I can see how the next couple of weeks/months will be trying for both APs and Host Families.

[Anonymous]

I can definitely see most of them wanting to go home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some of my AP friends are looking to go home (I am not), mostly due to the fact that their HF have become extremely paranoid since the ban and so now on top of having to stay home with the kids and parents all day, some families are prohibiting them from leaving the house at all under any circumstances during their free time, plenty of APs have also seen their trip home or their family's visit cancelled and so for quite a lot the idea of having to potentially live here longer but between 4 walls and going home to their family and friends and have freedom of movement, is something to consider.

I don't blame them. For Au Pairs who have 1/2/3 months left, what's the point of being here if they are stuck at home and can't enjoy the US for potentially the remainer of their stay?

I love my host family, so I have no interest in leaving them to go home but I can see how the next couple of weeks/months will be trying for both APs and Host Families.

+1 I was just talking about this with my AP. I think if things are going great, this is ok but if the HF or AP are just tolerating each other, this is the last drop. So you love your HF which is why it is ok for you. The real problem is that the relationship is not great.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of my AP friends are looking to go home (I am not), mostly due to the fact that their HF have become extremely paranoid since the ban and so now on top of having to stay home with the kids and parents all day, some families are prohibiting them from leaving the house at all under any circumstances during their free time, plenty of APs have also seen their trip home or their family's visit cancelled and so for quite a lot the idea of having to potentially live here longer but between 4 walls and going home to their family and friends and have freedom of movement, is something to consider.

I don't blame them. For Au Pairs who have 1/2/3 months left, what's the point of being here if they are stuck at home and can't enjoy the US for potentially the remainer of their stay?

I love my host family, so I have no interest in leaving them to go home but I can see how the next couple of weeks/months will be trying for both APs and Host Families.

+1 I was just talking about this with my AP. I think if things are going great, this is ok but if the HF or AP are just tolerating each other, this is the last drop. So you love your HF which is why it is ok for you. The real problem is that the relationship is not great.

Exactly! (I am the pp) and as much as I love my host family, it's my 2nd year in the US and I have been an AP for a couple of years now (in other countries) and so as much as I value having a great family (I do know how rare they are) and don't currently want to leave, I also have done my time as an AP and the one thing that made me extend was my quality of life in the US, if I knew for sure that the rest of my second year I would be at home 24/7 and would have nothing to look forward to. As much as I absolutely love them, I would go home. If I am going to be stuck with people for months on ends it might as well be in my own house (kids free!) with my own people where even in 24/7 quarantine I would still be living with more freedom and less scrutiny than with any host family. I mean this whole corona thing is showing the divide between HFs and APs and how the ''being part of the family'' analogy doesn't work, on either side.

So yes, I love my host family and right now, while they are also worried and little paranoid about it, they also know than none of us is in immediate risk (no grandparents around, no known conditions and the baby and the kid are the least likely to get it or have symptoms and let alone die from it), and that I will do my part in helping their family and keeping them (and myself) safe as much as I possibly can but that I also need to be able to keep my sanity for it to work and so, so far, I have done some adjustments to my life (drastically reduced the amount of times I go out and where, I don't go to overcrowded spaces, take the car vs public transportation, carry hand sanitizers everywhere etc... keep a reasonable distance with people and meet outside vs inside etc...) and in exchange, they don't try and keep me locked into the house. The same way I trust that the mom also does her part in reducing the contamination when she goes to work or the dad when he pops into the shop. Which means that while I do live a more restricted life, I still have enough of a quality of life to not feel like I need to pick between going home vs going crazy.
Again, I have a fantastic host family, so even if I was locked in, if it was for a month I could pull through, but can't imagine having to do that with any of the not-so great host families I have had and don't blame any APs for catching the first flight home in that case.

[Anonymous]

We have a 25 year old au pair who has a dedicated car who works with our toddler. Many of the AP’s social activities and the toddler’s activities have been cancelled. Still, we would not dream of trying to control the AP’s private life or stop her from taking the toddler to any activities that are still happening. One or more of them would go crazy. Our house would be destroyed by the toddler. Instead we have encouraged the AP to invite friends over for movie nights. We have found outdoor activities for her and for the toddler. We have hosted friends for dinner. You cannot stop living and you cannot stop her from living.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have a 25 year old au pair who has a dedicated car who works with our toddler. Many of the AP’s social activities and the toddler’s activities have been cancelled. Still, we would not dream of trying to control the AP’s private life or stop her from taking the toddler to any activities that are still happening. One or more of them would go crazy. Our house would be destroyed by the toddler. Instead we have encouraged the AP to invite friends over for movie nights. We have found outdoor activities for her and for the toddler. We have hosted friends for dinner. You cannot stop living and you cannot stop her from living.

This is how the virus keeps spreading-people don’t change their habits. Social distancing is the only thing that will slow the spread. It’s all great for those of you who are healthy, but we have two people in our family with weakened immune systems. We are absolutely asking our AP to not go out anymore and keep the kids at home. We also pay her more than double the normal stipend. If that doesn’t work for her, she is welcome to go home.
Schools are closed, people are teleworking and minimizing contact with others, and the president has declared a national emergency. What more is it going to take for people to realize this is serious and you can absolutely ask any member of your family to change their behavior and habits. For those of you who ‘wouldn’t dream’ of asking their AP to modify their habits...wake up!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have a 25 year old au pair who has a dedicated car who works with our toddler. Many of the AP’s social activities and the toddler’s activities have been cancelled. Still, we would not dream of trying to control the AP’s private life or stop her from taking the toddler to any activities that are still happening. One or more of them would go crazy. Our house would be destroyed by the toddler. Instead we have encouraged the AP to invite friends over for movie nights. We have found outdoor activities for her and for the toddler. We have hosted friends for dinner. You cannot stop living and you cannot stop her from living.

This is how the virus keeps spreading-people don’t change their habits. Social distancing is the only thing that will slow the spread. It’s all great for those of you who are healthy, but we have two people in our family with weakened immune systems. We are absolutely asking our AP to not go out anymore and keep the kids at home. We also pay her more than double the normal stipend. If that doesn’t work for her, she is welcome to go home.
Schools are closed, people are teleworking and minimizing contact with others, and the president has declared a national emergency. What more is it going to take for people to realize this is serious and you can absolutely ask any member of your family to change their behavior and habits. For those of you who ‘wouldn’t dream’ of asking their AP to modify their habits...wake up!

When schools and work are shuttered, the only appropriate activities for a toddler are in and around the home. Maybe an open air park. And, yes, APs should be given the option to go home if they want because they only get one shot at this. And socializing and traveling are a big part of that. We had some fun snow days with our APs, but for weeks on end? We would all get sick of each other.

[Anonymous]

From 01:07, above:

“I mean this whole corona thing is showing the divide between HFs and APs and how the ''being part of the family'' analogy doesn't work, on either side. ”

Really? I see what you did there. The concern trolling on this forum is really something else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:From 01:07, above:

“I mean this whole corona thing is showing the divide between HFs and APs and how the ''being part of the family'' analogy doesn't work, on either side. ”

Really? I see what you did there. The concern trolling on this forum is really something else.

She spoke the truth and you seem to be angry about it. Why?

[Anonymous]

^ Concern troll is concerned. Get a life.

[Anonymous]

Overreacting will ruin the economy. The weather is fantastic. Go on hikes. Go to parks. Have small play dates. Go on limited shopping trips. Walk the dog to Starbucks. Encouraging people to become physical and emotional shut-ins only increases depression (and suicide).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:From 01:07, above:

“I mean this whole corona thing is showing the divide between HFs and APs and how the ''being part of the family'' analogy doesn't work, on either side. ”

Really? I see what you did there. The concern trolling on this forum is really something else.

I find it quite hilarious that I am constantly called a troll everytime I point out a flaw of program. Didn’t know everybody who is a part of the program must love EVERY aspect of it!

What part are you even disagreeing with? On that forum you have two current trending thread one about “ Stage-5 clingers, horrible APs who want to stay home” and another one about “ Selfish APs who want to go out, putting their host family at risk.” If you can’t see how it shows that no matter what Families/APs have different expectations of the program and that in none of the cases people react like they would with family members (kicking them out when they spend too much time indoors, kicking them out when they don’t/ and some APs considering going home as soon as something like this happens leaving the family in a rush to find someone else)

But anyway, reminds me how that’s trolling?

HFs who can’t take criticism of their own behavior or of the program are the reason why lawsuits are happening putting this type of program in jeopardy.