Au Pairs leaving because of coronavirus?

[Anonymous]

I call shenanigans on this post. Entertaining, but APs are not permitted to work outside of their childcare duties with their HF under the J1 visa.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My AP has been going to the gym still. She says it is mostly empty.

She's irresponsible.

I agree - if someone is living in my home and interacting with my family, I think it makes sense to expect them to at least ask what the family policy is on this matter. Our AP is in her last week, flying back to German on Sunday unless I can get her an earlier flight. She does a lot of modelling and went out on a shoot this morning. We have been talking for days about the need to distance ourselves and avoid non essential contact, and the way she was responding suggested she was just planning to stay home this week so I was shocked when I realised what she had done. If she wants to continue to go out and do things like this for the next week I'm tempted to tell her to go stay in a hotel (not all her shoots are paid, I'd say 90% of them are for her portfolio, so if she has paid ones this week she can pay for her own hotel!). It is not fair if the rest of us are taking precautions but one person in the house isn't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My AP has been going to the gym still. She says it is mostly empty.

She is adult woman. You cannot restrict her movements. If the gym is still open, let her go.

For real? You must have as much common sense as the AP who is going to the gym. Guess what, the government is now shutting down all restaurants, etc. so people like you will finally get the message.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My AP has been going to the gym still. She says it is mostly empty.

She is adult woman. You cannot restrict her movements. If the gym is still open, let her go.

And the family can also send her into immediate rematch if they so choose. See how that works?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I call shenanigans on this post. Entertaining, but APs are not permitted to work outside of their childcare duties with their HF under the J1 visa.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My AP has been going to the gym still. She says it is mostly empty.

She's irresponsible.

I agree - if someone is living in my home and interacting with my family, I think it makes sense to expect them to at least ask what the family policy is on this matter. Our AP is in her last week, flying back to German on Sunday unless I can get her an earlier flight. She does a lot of modelling and went out on a shoot this morning. We have been talking for days about the need to distance ourselves and avoid non essential contact, and the way she was responding suggested she was just planning to stay home this week so I was shocked when I realised what she had done. If she wants to continue to go out and do things like this for the next week I'm tempted to tell her to go stay in a hotel (not all her shoots are paid, I'd say 90% of them are for her portfolio, so if she has paid ones this week she can pay for her own hotel!). It is not fair if the rest of us are taking precautions but one person in the house isn't.

Im not the PP of this post, but do you not realize that so many people work illegally in this country? What the HF is explaining is simple illegal work. Noting special or rare.

[Anonymous]

90% chance the housekeeper is illegal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have a 25 year old au pair who has a dedicated car who works with our toddler. Many of the AP’s social activities and the toddler’s activities have been cancelled. Still, we would not dream of trying to control the AP’s private life or stop her from taking the toddler to any activities that are still happening. One or more of them would go crazy. Our house would be destroyed by the toddler. Instead we have encouraged the AP to invite friends over for movie nights. We have found outdoor activities for her and for the toddler. We have hosted friends for dinner. You cannot stop living and you cannot stop her from living.

you.are.the.problem

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have a 25 year old au pair who has a dedicated car who works with our toddler. Many of the AP’s social activities and the toddler’s activities have been cancelled. Still, we would not dream of trying to control the AP’s private life or stop her from taking the toddler to any activities that are still happening. One or more of them would go crazy. Our house would be destroyed by the toddler. Instead we have encouraged the AP to invite friends over for movie nights. We have found outdoor activities for her and for the toddler. We have hosted friends for dinner. You cannot stop living and you cannot stop her from living.

you.are.the.problem

No. You want a slave. There are no activities to go to now. If our AP wants to go jogging. Have a handful of friends over for homemade pizza. Go hiking in the Shenandoah on her day off. She needs to do whatever keeps her sane. She can’t go home. She can’t take the vacations she planned. If we want her to be able to function as an AP, she needs downtime. We are not jailers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have a 25 year old au pair who has a dedicated car who works with our toddler. Many of the AP’s social activities and the toddler’s activities have been cancelled. Still, we would not dream of trying to control the AP’s private life or stop her from taking the toddler to any activities that are still happening. One or more of them would go crazy. Our house would be destroyed by the toddler. Instead we have encouraged the AP to invite friends over for movie nights. We have found outdoor activities for her and for the toddler. We have hosted friends for dinner. You cannot stop living and you cannot stop her from living.

you.are.the.problem

No. You want a slave. There are no activities to go to now. If our AP wants to go jogging. Have a handful of friends over for homemade pizza. Go hiking in the Shenandoah on her day off. She needs to do whatever keeps her sane. She can’t go home. She can’t take the vacations she planned. If we want her to be able to function as an AP, she needs downtime. We are not jailers.

Np here-Going for a jog or a hike are totally different than not placing restrictions on social outings or her activities at all, which is what you said earlier. I think if places weren’t closed you would allow her to do whatever she wants. That’s not socially responsible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have a 25 year old au pair who has a dedicated car who works with our toddler. Many of the AP’s social activities and the toddler’s activities have been cancelled. Still, we would not dream of trying to control the AP’s private life or stop her from taking the toddler to any activities that are still happening. One or more of them would go crazy. Our house would be destroyed by the toddler. Instead we have encouraged the AP to invite friends over for movie nights. We have found outdoor activities for her and for the toddler. We have hosted friends for dinner. You cannot stop living and you cannot stop her from living.

you.are.the.problem

No. You want a slave. There are no activities to go to now. If our AP wants to go jogging. Have a handful of friends over for homemade pizza. Go hiking in the Shenandoah on her day off. She needs to do whatever keeps her sane. She can’t go home. She can’t take the vacations she planned. If we want her to be able to function as an AP, she needs downtime. We are not jailers.

You really are the problem! My sister lives in Northern Italy: There are only allowed to go to 3 places: grocery shopping, hospital/doctor office, work. If they catch you doing anything else you get a ticket and a criminal record. We are a just a couple of weeks behind Italy. WHAT IS IT GOING TO TAKE FOR PEOPLE TO GET IT? STOP the selfishness!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I call shenanigans on this post. Entertaining, but APs are not permitted to work outside of their childcare duties with their HF under the J1 visa.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My AP has been going to the gym still. She says it is mostly empty.

She's irresponsible.

I agree - if someone is living in my home and interacting with my family, I think it makes sense to expect them to at least ask what the family policy is on this matter. Our AP is in her last week, flying back to German on Sunday unless I can get her an earlier flight. She does a lot of modelling and went out on a shoot this morning. We have been talking for days about the need to distance ourselves and avoid non essential contact, and the way she was responding suggested she was just planning to stay home this week so I was shocked when I realised what she had done. If she wants to continue to go out and do things like this for the next week I'm tempted to tell her to go stay in a hotel (not all her shoots are paid, I'd say 90% of them are for her portfolio, so if she has paid ones this week she can pay for her own hotel!). It is not fair if the rest of us are taking precautions but one person in the house isn't.

We're in Canada, and anyway most of her modelling work is unpaid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have a 25 year old au pair who has a dedicated car who works with our toddler. Many of the AP’s social activities and the toddler’s activities have been cancelled. Still, we would not dream of trying to control the AP’s private life or stop her from taking the toddler to any activities that are still happening. One or more of them would go crazy. Our house would be destroyed by the toddler. Instead we have encouraged the AP to invite friends over for movie nights. We have found outdoor activities for her and for the toddler. We have hosted friends for dinner. You cannot stop living and you cannot stop her from living.

you.are.the.problem

No. You want a slave. There are no activities to go to now. If our AP wants to go jogging. Have a handful of friends over for homemade pizza. Go hiking in the Shenandoah on her day off. She needs to do whatever keeps her sane. She can’t go home. She can’t take the vacations she planned. If we want her to be able to function as an AP, she needs downtime. We are not jailers.

Np here-Going for a jog or a hike are totally different than not placing restrictions on social outings or her activities at all, which is what you said earlier. I think if places weren’t closed you would allow her to do whatever she wants. That’s not socially responsible.

The CDC recommendations have shifted, but as PP said, APs are not house slaves. You cannot bar them from legal recreational activities on off hours.

[Anonymous]

Not currently hosting, thank God. However, if I were, I would expect the AP to participate in the same draconian restrictions that we are doing, or leave. I am not a jailer, but I am also not a hostage.

[Anonymous]

I am carrying on with normal life. You people are nuts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am carrying on with normal life. You people are nuts.

You’re nuts. Are you not watching the news? Italy is a disaster because people “carried on with life” like you are and it spread like wildfire. If you don’t care about getting into a situation where medical workers literally have to choose which lives and dies because there aren’t enough respirators, then go on carry on with life like we’re not in a global pandemic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have a 25 year old au pair who has a dedicated car who works with our toddler. Many of the AP’s social activities and the toddler’s activities have been cancelled. Still, we would not dream of trying to control the AP’s private life or stop her from taking the toddler to any activities that are still happening. One or more of them would go crazy. Our house would be destroyed by the toddler. Instead we have encouraged the AP to invite friends over for movie nights. We have found outdoor activities for her and for the toddler. We have hosted friends for dinner. You cannot stop living and you cannot stop her from living.

you.are.the.problem

No. You want a slave. There are no activities to go to now. If our AP wants to go jogging. Have a handful of friends over for homemade pizza. Go hiking in the Shenandoah on her day off. She needs to do whatever keeps her sane. She can’t go home. She can’t take the vacations she planned. If we want her to be able to function as an AP, she needs downtime. We are not jailers.

Np here-Going for a jog or a hike are totally different than not placing restrictions on social outings or her activities at all, which is what you said earlier. I think if places weren’t closed you would allow her to do whatever she wants. That’s not socially responsible.

The CDC recommendations have shifted, but as PP said, APs are not house slaves. You cannot bar them from legal recreational activities on off hours.

Of course you cant. However you can do like we did, our AP wanted to go to the gym on her free time, which is perfectly legal and by the time she pulled into the parking lot, I had already called our LCC and initiated an immediate rematch.

Lots and lots of mature college students back home more than willing to work. Not just willing, but jumping at babysitting opportunities. Already have one hired.

Easy as that. Problem solved.