Au Pairs leaving because of coronavirus?

[Anonymous]

Your earlier post is basically the definition of concern trolling - the action or practice of disingenuously expressing concern about an issue in order to undermine or derail genuine discussion. You are clearly here to make a point - you don’t like the program and you don’t believe that host families treat au pairs as members of their family. But you wrap your “concerns” up in a veil of “I love my host family.” That is concern trolling. Take a look:

“Concern trolling involves someone opposing an idea or viewpoint, yet acting like they’re an advocate for the cause. A concern troll offers undermining criticisms under the guise of concern. Their goal is to sabotage the cause being discussed, and to inspire doubt among group members.”

https://www.dictionary.com/e/slang/concern-troll/

My point, that “The concern trolling on this forum is really something else,” really starts with the first post on this thread, which is basically a post baiting people into a discussion about some mass exodus of au pairs under the guise of concern. But your me multiple posts of faux adoration for your HF as a delivery mechanism for your central idea that host families do not treat APs as members of their families is concern trolling.

You didn’t come here to talk about the subject of the thread. You came to here appear interested in and an ally of the topic of the thread so you could vent your personal frustrations with your HF as “concerns” about the program, all wrapped up in a disingenuous package of “I love my HF.” That is concern trolling.

I suggest you talk to your host family. I bet they would love to connect with you. Or maybe they don’t. Regardless, here, the only support you will find for gripes wrapped up in sincerity is sock puppet support from nannies who wish there was no au pair program. That is not the path to happiness, just reinforcement of your own negativity by anonymous strangers.

[Anonymous]

I have zero rants regarding my host family which you would know if you have read my posts, they are awesome and have dealt with the coronavirus situation really well (for me) and are by far my best host family so , try again? Actually all you have done on the thread has been troll hunting while I have taken the time to purposefully answered the main topic which is about “Au Pairs leaving due to Coronavirus”, which, as an AP I think I am pretty in the loop of what’s going on in the AP community and whether some or not are thinking of leaving/ are leaving.

The fact that the program is flawed on BOTH sides is not news and is neither here or there (if it wasn’t flawed there wouldn’t be any rematch, any families kicked out the program, no lawsuit, no family changing agencies etc...)


OP has asked “ are some APs going to leave the program due to Coronavirus”? And the answer is YES. Some have already left, some are waiting to see if the situation gets better (/their host families relax the rules) and if not are considering leaving, some won’t leave no matter what. What’s going to make the difference between an AP staying and leaving is both the relationship they have (which can only be put to the rest by 24/7 proximity and might become unbearable for some which might trigger an AP leaving or family going into rematch) and the rules put in place and how each party feel about it.

Those are ALL valid and relevant observations, answering the main topic of the thread so in which way have YOU answered the thread or made any relevant contribution to this specific topic?

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

We just went into rematch. Basically out AP is lazy and pretty much useless. Now that school is canceled and we are WFH, we cannot have this bump on a long hanging around. We do not restrict her movement. The more she is gone the better.

[Anonymous]

APs should go home. Their health insurance is really bad, and this is a miserable 5time to be here.

[Anonymous]

Yes. Au pair is bad. Only hire nanny. Pay service fee to agency too. Au pair bad. Go home now.

Anonymous wrote:APs should go home. Their health insurance is really bad, and this is a miserable 5time to be here.

[Anonymous]

Just initiated an immediate rematch. Told AuPair no gym. She woke up this morning and went straight to the gym. No questions, no arguing. Bye.

She is a mess anyway, this was the last straw.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just initiated an immediate rematch. Told AuPair no gym. She woke up this morning and went straight to the gym. No questions, no arguing. Bye.

She is a mess anyway, this was the last straw.

Wow, I am not paranoid and I have been educating my AP about social distance and thanks God she understand that this is serious and is also scared of getting the virus. Your AP sounds like she lives in the bumble. The Gym is the worst place to be right now.

[Anonymous]

My AP has been going to the gym still. She says it is mostly empty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just initiated an immediate rematch. Told AuPair no gym. She woke up this morning and went straight to the gym. No questions, no arguing. Bye.

She is a mess anyway, this was the last straw.

Wow, I am not paranoid and I have been educating my AP about social distance and thanks God she understand that this is serious and is also scared of getting the virus. Your AP sounds like she lives in the bumble. The Gym is the worst place to be right now.

She is a disaster. I dont care if the gym is empty or clean. She can go find another family that is OK with her at the gym.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My AP has been going to the gym still. She says it is mostly empty.

She is adult woman. You cannot restrict her movements. If the gym is still open, let her go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My AP has been going to the gym still. She says it is mostly empty.

She's irresponsible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My AP has been going to the gym still. She says it is mostly empty.

She's irresponsible.

I agree - if someone is living in my home and interacting with my family, I think it makes sense to expect them to at least ask what the family policy is on this matter. Our AP is in her last week, flying back to German on Sunday unless I can get her an earlier flight. She does a lot of modelling and went out on a shoot this morning. We have been talking for days about the need to distance ourselves and avoid non essential contact, and the way she was responding suggested she was just planning to stay home this week so I was shocked when I realised what she had done. If she wants to continue to go out and do things like this for the next week I'm tempted to tell her to go stay in a hotel (not all her shoots are paid, I'd say 90% of them are for her portfolio, so if she has paid ones this week she can pay for her own hotel!). It is not fair if the rest of us are taking precautions but one person in the house isn't.

[Anonymous]

We love our BP, but with the children home indefinitely and DH and me working from home indefinitely, it's terrible for him to be here. Plus, in our town in MA we have several families who have tested positive and are therefore all very serious about social distancing, so poor BP can't even see any of his friends. I talked to him today about going home early, and I think he would like to. I'm waiting to hear from CCAP if he can leave early (about two months) and still enable us to be eligible for the MA refund from the AG's settlement with CCAP. I also want to make sure that they will pay his flight home. I completely get his wanting to leave. It completely sucks here- no playdates, no going out, no gyms open, nothing going on. We are close to him, but no one wants 24/7 with their family, including me, and I don't blame him for thinking Germany would be better at this time (and they certainly have better healthcare than we do).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My AP has been going to the gym still. She says it is mostly empty.

She's irresponsible.

I agree - if someone is living in my home and interacting with my family, I think it makes sense to expect them to at least ask what the family policy is on this matter. Our AP is in her last week, flying back to German on Sunday unless I can get her an earlier flight. She does a lot of modelling and went out on a shoot this morning. We have been talking for days about the need to distance ourselves and avoid non essential contact, and the way she was responding suggested she was just planning to stay home this week so I was shocked when I realised what she had done. If she wants to continue to go out and do things like this for the next week I'm tempted to tell her to go stay in a hotel (not all her shoots are paid, I'd say 90% of them are for her portfolio, so if she has paid ones this week she can pay for her own hotel!). It is not fair if the rest of us are taking precautions but one person in the house isn't.

You would need to pay for the hotel and food, of course.