extended vacations

[Anonymous]

The kids nanny will be going to her home country next month for 3 weeks. She has 15 days vacation per year. Two weeks of her choosing and 1 week we choose. She works M-F, weekends off. When she asked for approval we agreed to 3 weeks because she had not been home in a couple of years. I asked family to help out and I am going to make it work. We did say her 3rd week would be unpaid. We told her we plan to travel over Christmas and that will be our week.

Last week she put in a request for 3 weeks in December (12/10-12/28). I about fainted. DH and I are very busy during this time. It was a miracle I was able to piece together child care for her trip next month. I told her it would not be possible for her to take off 3 weeks in December. As a compromise I told her she could take 12/24-1/4. She said that would not work for her and that she would gladly take the time unpaid. I told her that was not the point. I need her to be there before Christmas. Our family is way to busy. Now she is acting mopey. I am starting to get mad. I am not being unreasonable right???

[Anonymous]

OMG! If she thinks you're unreasonable, that's all that matters, isn't it? Do you think she cares what we say? No, she doesn't.

[Anonymous]

No, but if it is important for her to travel that much it might be best to talk about whether the job is the right fit for her (and for you). If she's out of PTO, she can't take the time off.

[Anonymous]

She probably wants to see her family more than she needs to stick with you. She can get a new job.

[Anonymous]

Also, OP, is her PTO next month all already accrued, or are you letting her use it in deficit? (I guess I'm asking--has she already earned the two weeks of paid time that she's using next month because some was carried over from 2017, so she'll have earned an additional 7 days by December?) That might make a difference if your contract doesn't specify a process for when she can use the time. We paid out vacation time at the end of each calendar year in part to avoid that (and in part to encourage its use during the year, since I do think vacation time is important to wellbeing).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also, OP, is her PTO next month all already accrued, or are you letting her use it in deficit? (I guess I'm asking--has she already earned the two weeks of paid time that she's using next month because some was carried over from 2017, so she'll have earned an additional 7 days by December?) That might make a difference if your contract doesn't specify a process for when she can use the time. We paid out vacation time at the end of each calendar year in part to avoid that (and in part to encourage its use during the year, since I do think vacation time is important to wellbeing).

Agree that unused earned vacation time should be paid out. Why not?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also, OP, is her PTO next month all already accrued, or are you letting her use it in deficit? (I guess I'm asking--has she already earned the two weeks of paid time that she's using next month because some was carried over from 2017, so she'll have earned an additional 7 days by December?) That might make a difference if your contract doesn't specify a process for when she can use the time. We paid out vacation time at the end of each calendar year in part to avoid that (and in part to encourage its use during the year, since I do think vacation time is important to wellbeing).

She accrues 10 hours a month vacation time. She will be going -40 hours. I love vacation time as much as everyone else and I want her to utilize it. When she wants extra vacation time she needs to schedule it when its convenient for me.

[Anonymous]

OP, does the 10 hours she accrues account for both her two weeks and your one week (sounds like yes)? Do you track the vacation time of her choosing and of your choosing separately? It might make sense to start doing this if you don't currently, as I can see that getting confusing. Ideally you want her drawing from a bank of 80 hours (or whatever you define as two weeks), accrued monthly, for the time of her own choosing, and then getting last 40 hours of guaranteed time off at a time of your choosing as a job benefit. That also ensures that if you take your vacation in January vs. October, she gets paid the same for the third week that you choose regardless of whether she's accrued hours for it. Then for her two weeks, she can only use the time as she earns it.

[Anonymous]

No useful advice but we are in the same boat, hired a nanny that needs to travel to a home country at least yearly. We ( mostly me, DH can’t take off year end) had to scrape together coverage for 3 weeks over Xmas. It was a MAJOR pita, I had to use most of my own Pto. You are not unreasonable. I will not be hiring a nanny who needs to go to a Home country for long periods of time in the future. Sorry if that offends anyone but I can’t cover it.

[Anonymous]

I should also have added--I would simply say, "we allowed you to go into deficit on your vacation time for your April trip and to take a week unpaid, since I know visiting family is important to you. Unfortunately, we can't approve any additional unpaid time off. Since you will have xx hours of PTO accrued by then and we plan to be away over Christmas, you can certainly take those days at either end of that week."

Adjust the PTO accrual to reflect her two weeks only and then figure out how much she's in deficit and how much time she'll have come December.

[Anonymous]

Op, you can find a temporary nanny, you have enough notice. I would start looking now and possibly have the temp nanny babysit for you a few time between now and then. Like any other job, if you use all your PTO, any other days off, are just unpaid- it doesn’t mean “you can’t take off because you used all your leave.” It’s good for families to have backup care for this reason especially.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, you can find a temporary nanny, you have enough notice. I would start looking now and possibly have the temp nanny babysit for you a few time between now and then. Like any other job, if you use all your PTO, any other days off, are just unpaid- it doesn’t mean “you can’t take off because you used all your leave.” It’s good for families to have backup care for this reason especially.

Exactly.

[Anonymous]

Most families expect that there will be minimal unpaid leave... they need consistent care, not fill-ins.

[Anonymous]

MB here. If I wanted to take off for weeks at a time at my professional job, my boss would have a problem. That kind of attitude would cost me a good raise, the next promotion, and possibly a job.

It just shows that your nanny feels entitled to her job and is not taking it seriously. You are totally within your rights to deny the vacation. You should take it into consideration next time she asks for a raise or if you start having other problems. She is there to do a job for money. That means she has to do it. Simple as that.

Sorry you have to deal with the moping. That's unprofessional and when they are like that around your children and family, the MB is at a disadvantage. I think a lot of nannies milk that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, you can find a temporary nanny, you have enough notice. I would start looking now and possibly have the temp nanny babysit for you a few time between now and then. Like any other job, if you use all your PTO, any other days off, are just unpaid- it doesn’t mean “you can’t take off because you used all your leave.” It’s good for families to have backup care for this reason especially.

Most jobs do not allow you to simply take unpaid leave whenever you wish. (I would quickly be out of a job if I tried that!) Leave--paid or unpaid--must be approved. In this case, OP is not approving it, as is her right. (The nanny is, of course, free to seek another job with more flexible leave time.)