extended vacations

[Anonymous]

In this situation, don't shoot yourself in the foot by giving her an advance on her earned leave. For that first vacation, pay out only what she has earned. Then find someone who won't ask for 3-4 weeks off every six months. I don't care if it hasn't happened before, it's just not compatible with consistent child care for this year. Why should/would you accommodate that? Listen to the poster who said she'll call you at the end of the time you agree to and claim she's had a family emergency and needs to extend.

Don't panic or have a big confrontation with the nanny...use that time in April to find a permanent replacement and send her on her way. Unless you work from home and absolutely adore this nanny, I would not entertain the notion of temp care. And most of us either have parents who are still working themselves, in early retirement and traveling themselves, or elderly and not up to the rigors of full-time child care. So it's not always possible to call on grandparents either.

Note to nannies: Careful about claiming it's so easy for temps to take your place. If so, maybe you aren't worth so much after all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am surprised that people are missing a vital point here.

If the Nanny is so unhappy that she is actually moping on the job, no way is she fit to stay w/your child.
She likely will take her discontent out on your child.

I wouldn’t trust her if she is unhappy about any aspect of her job w/you.

+1 Remember she is caring for your precious child/children. Maybe terminate her before April and hire new since she's going to be away anyway.

[Anonymous]

It would be lovely if all employees around the world enjoyed the ability to take off for a month every 6 months, but it’s not reality. Reality for us employees is 2-5 weeks per year.

[Anonymous]

Thanks everyone for your feedback. I wanted to respond to a couple of the comments. One of the reasons I got a nanny was to give the kids consistency and make my life easier. I am not all that comfortable with getting temporary nanny care. I have local family but they lead very busy lives as well. I can ask them to help out in a pinch or even if I want to have a date night with DH. Family is my backup so I don't have anyone outside of family or nanny watch my kids. I am asking a lot of them to help me in April for 3 weeks. I cannot imagine asking them again especially around the holidays.

As for the comments about hiring immigrants. Nanny is 100% legal and we pay on the books. We pay her $23/hour + OT for 50 hours a week. She has lots of experience and she is very good at her job. I'm not gonna lie I depend on her A LOT. That is why I am willing to work with her on extra vacation time. She just needs to plan it when its convenient for me.

[Anonymous]

The comments about immigrants irked me too. Both of our children's nannies were immigrants. They were also both U.S. citizens. They did occasionally take extended trips to their home countries, but in one case it was once in a two-year run with several months' notice, fully covered with accrued PTO, and in the other it was never during the 2.5 years we employed her--she took a monthlong trip before starting with our share and a six-week trip after our kids started preschool. This notion that immigrants are looking for 6+ weeks of leave each year is a little nuts (as is the notion that immigrants are not Americans--many are!)

The one thing that was true, I guess, was that they lived with several other people--they were both married with kids...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks everyone for your feedback. I wanted to respond to a couple of the comments. One of the reasons I got a nanny was to give the kids consistency and make my life easier. I am not all that comfortable with getting temporary nanny care. I have local family but they lead very busy lives as well. I can ask them to help out in a pinch or even if I want to have a date night with DH. Family is my backup so I don't have anyone outside of family or nanny watch my kids. I am asking a lot of them to help me in April for 3 weeks. I cannot imagine asking them again especially around the holidays.

As for the comments about hiring immigrants. Nanny is 100% legal and we pay on the books. We pay her $23/hour + OT for 50 hours a week. She has lots of experience and she is very good at her job. I'm not gonna lie I depend on her A LOT. That is why I am willing to work with her on extra vacation time. She just needs to plan it when its convenient for me.

If you are not able to accommodate over 4 weeks of leave in a year then you really should not employ a foreign nanny. For the amount of money that you pay you could easily hire a quality American nanny who won't ask for 3 weeks off twice a year.

I 100% agree with the previous posters that if you tell her she can only take one week off in December she is going to agree, then call or email you the day before she's supposed to return with an emergency and say she won't be able to come back for another week or two. When that happens you'll have no one but yourself to blame.

And to the pp who says her nanny never took extended trips during her employment, that is very much the exception, not the rule when it comes to foreign nannies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks everyone for your feedback. I wanted to respond to a couple of the comments. One of the reasons I got a nanny was to give the kids consistency and make my life easier. I am not all that comfortable with getting temporary nanny care. I have local family but they lead very busy lives as well. I can ask them to help out in a pinch or even if I want to have a date night with DH. Family is my backup so I don't have anyone outside of family or nanny watch my kids. I am asking a lot of them to help me in April for 3 weeks. I cannot imagine asking them again especially around the holidays.

As for the comments about hiring immigrants. Nanny is 100% legal and we pay on the books. We pay her $23/hour + OT for 50 hours a week. She has lots of experience and she is very good at her job. I'm not gonna lie I depend on her A LOT. That is why I am willing to work with her on extra vacation time. She just needs to plan it when its convenient for me.

If you are not able to accommodate over 4 weeks of leave in a year then you really should not employ a foreign nanny. For the amount of money that you pay you could easily hire a quality American nanny who won't ask for 3 weeks off twice a year.

I 100% agree with the previous posters that if you tell her she can only take one week off in December she is going to agree, then call or email you the day before she's supposed to return with an emergency and say she won't be able to come back for another week or two. When that happens you'll have no one but yourself to blame.

And to the pp who says her nanny never took extended trips during her employment, that is very much the exception, not the rule when it comes to foreign nannies.

Exactly.

[Anonymous]

One of the PP with foreign nanny ...It’s not about hiring immigrants ... I’m an immigrant myself. It’s about specifically hiring ones with all family abroad. That is the case with our nanny, she is the only one here in the states and sends money back. In her situation this means she wants to return 1-2 times per year, complains/ guilt trips about being here alone. Other foreign nannies we interviewed had at least immediate family/ kids here. We should have hired one of them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks everyone for your feedback. I wanted to respond to a couple of the comments. One of the reasons I got a nanny was to give the kids consistency and make my life easier. I am not all that comfortable with getting temporary nanny care. I have local family but they lead very busy lives as well. I can ask them to help out in a pinch or even if I want to have a date night with DH. Family is my backup so I don't have anyone outside of family or nanny watch my kids. I am asking a lot of them to help me in April for 3 weeks. I cannot imagine asking them again especially around the holidays.

As for the comments about hiring immigrants. Nanny is 100% legal and we pay on the books. We pay her $23/hour + OT for 50 hours a week. She has lots of experience and she is very good at her job. I'm not gonna lie I depend on her A LOT. That is why I am willing to work with her on extra vacation time. She just needs to plan it when its convenient for me.

If you are not able to accommodate over 4 weeks of leave in a year then you really should not employ a foreign nanny. For the amount of money that you pay you could easily hire a quality American nanny who won't ask for 3 weeks off twice a year.

I 100% agree with the previous posters that if you tell her she can only take one week off in December she is going to agree, then call or email you the day before she's supposed to return with an emergency and say she won't be able to come back for another week or two. When that happens you'll have no one but yourself to blame.

And to the pp who says her nanny never took extended trips during her employment, that is very much the exception, not the rule when it comes to foreign nannies.

Exactly.

+2. OP, you have been warned. We are not speculating based on prejudice. We have been in your shoes, in my case twice. I changed my hiring practices significantly after the second incident. I went on to hire two more immigrants, but both had the majority of their families (all parents, siblings, and children) here in town. One did take a 2.5-week trip back to her home country in year 3, like many of us would do with extended family abroad.

And every one of these women was 100% legal to employ, and paid well, and on the books.

[Anonymous]

To add, I just don’t think the lifestyle of needing to take extended trips multiple times per year is compatible with providing consistent childcare. And that’s the entire nature of the job, the family relies on the nanny ( one person) for all their childcare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To add, I just don’t think the lifestyle of needing to take extended trips multiple times per year is compatible with providing consistent childcare. And that’s the entire nature of the job, the family relies on the nanny ( one person) for all their childcare.

+1 Although I understand that asking for extended vacation is more likely with foreign-born nannies, it still exists with young American nannies as well. Our part-time American nanny just asked for four weeks off after only eight months of employment to go on a horseback ride! I had to say no and I am sure she is going to quit right before her May ride.
She is young. 25. And doesn't get it.

[Anonymous]

What do you consider to be "well paid", 10:10, in today's numbers?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What do you consider to be "well paid", 10:10, in today's numbers?

Enough to send money home and be unemployed for months on end while traveling internationally, so at least average for our region.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you consider to be "well paid", 10:10, in today's numbers?

Enough to send money home and be unemployed for months on end while traveling internationally, so at least average for our region.

"Average" is nothing close to "well paid".

Have you seen how tight some of these people live...
to be able to send some money home?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you consider to be "well paid", 10:10, in today's numbers?

Enough to send money home and be unemployed for months on end while traveling internationally, so at least average for our region.

"Average" is nothing close to "well paid".

Have you seen how tight some of these people live...
to be able to send some money home?

Not trying to be insensitive but why is that my problem...if I’m paying market rate and they choose to send money home and live with 5 roommates that is totally their choice.