Aupair wants to buy own car after totaling my car (car wreck was off duty)

[Anonymous]

let her buy the car and insurance. But, if she gets into a wreck and there is a whole host of logistics, not to mention potential medical issues, how will that cut into her work time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It seems to me like she wants out too. Crappy thing is she had originally decided she didn't want to extend with me so I had lined somebody else up for February but then she changed her mind in November so I extended with her. She could have been with another family already and I could have had a different aupair if she had just found another family instead of deciding to extend an extra year with me

Anonymous wrote:She sounds like a moron, and I don't understand how she could have enough money to buy a car unless it's a POS used car that will fall apart instantly. But whatever, if she's not driving your kids, it's her choice to make.

It also seems like this might be a step towards getting out of your house one way or another (either rematch or just go AWOL).

way too many au pairs ask to extend and then bail. We just had that situation. She was supposed to leave in March, but asked to extend until July, then ended up leaving in March anyway. We could have spent that time looking for an au pair instead of being left in a lurch and I told her that too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:let her buy the car and insurance. But, if she gets into a wreck and there is a whole host of logistics, not to mention potential medical issues, how will that cut into her work time?

and this is why I will ask for a rematch if she insists on the car.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems to me like she wants out too. Crappy thing is she had originally decided she didn't want to extend with me so I had lined somebody else up for February but then she changed her mind in November so I extended with her. She could have been with another family already and I could have had a different aupair if she had just found another family instead of deciding to extend an extra year with me

Anonymous wrote:She sounds like a moron, and I don't understand how she could have enough money to buy a car unless it's a POS used car that will fall apart instantly. But whatever, if she's not driving your kids, it's her choice to make.

It also seems like this might be a step towards getting out of your house one way or another (either rematch or just go AWOL).

way too many au pairs ask to extend and then bail. We just had that situation. She was supposed to leave in March, but asked to extend until July, then ended up leaving in March anyway. We could have spent that time looking for an au pair instead of being left in a lurch and I told her that too.

So frustrating!! I wish it wasn't this way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems to me like she wants out too. Crappy thing is she had originally decided she didn't want to extend with me so I had lined somebody else up for February but then she changed her mind in November so I extended with her. She could have been with another family already and I could have had a different aupair if she had just found another family instead of deciding to extend an extra year with me

Anonymous wrote:She sounds like a moron, and I don't understand how she could have enough money to buy a car unless it's a POS used car that will fall apart instantly. But whatever, if she's not driving your kids, it's her choice to make.

It also seems like this might be a step towards getting out of your house one way or another (either rematch or just go AWOL).

way too many au pairs ask to extend and then bail. We just had that situation. She was supposed to leave in March, but asked to extend until July, then ended up leaving in March anyway. We could have spent that time looking for an au pair instead of being left in a lurch and I told her that too.

So frustrating!! I wish it wasn't this way.

Yes, we put a limit on it. The au pair has to make a decision to extend with us or not by a certain month so we can find another au pair for the following year. I would definitely not be dropping someone who had committed to us because an indecisive or flaky au pair changed her mind. It is way too hard to find another good au pair at the last minute, especially right now.

[Anonymous]

Control freak. No landlord has right to say: you can’t have a vehicle parked on the street. Street doesn’t belong to you. I hope your au pair will get her car and drive it to normal family

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems to me like she wants out too. Crappy thing is she had originally decided she didn't want to extend with me so I had lined somebody else up for February but then she changed her mind in November so I extended with her. She could have been with another family already and I could have had a different aupair if she had just found another family instead of deciding to extend an extra year with me

Anonymous wrote:She sounds like a moron, and I don't understand how she could have enough money to buy a car unless it's a POS used car that will fall apart instantly. But whatever, if she's not driving your kids, it's her choice to make.

It also seems like this might be a step towards getting out of your house one way or another (either rematch or just go AWOL).

way too many au pairs ask to extend and then bail. We just had that situation. She was supposed to leave in March, but asked to extend until July, then ended up leaving in March anyway. We could have spent that time looking for an au pair instead of being left in a lurch and I told her that too.

So frustrating!! I wish it wasn't this way.

I really think they give each other piss poor advice about being able to negotiate a ton if you extend. But, we had already given her 2 raises and other perks due to covid so there was not going to be this merit increase just because she asked to extend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Control freak. No landlord has right to say: you can’t have a vehicle parked on the street. Street doesn’t belong to you. I hope your au pair will get her car and drive it to normal family

A normal family would let someone keep driving even if they were a danger to themselves and others? But you're right, this is my preference and I will be seeking a rematch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Control freak. No landlord has right to say: you can’t have a vehicle parked on the street. Street doesn’t belong to you. I hope your au pair will get her car and drive it to normal family

also street parking isn't allowed on my street, and my garage only has room for one car.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Control freak. No landlord has right to say: you can’t have a vehicle parked on the street. Street doesn’t belong to you. I hope your au pair will get her car and drive it to normal family

also street parking isn't allowed on my street, and my garage only has room for one car.

i have a driveway that is mine and yes that belongs to me, not the city.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems to me like she wants out too. Crappy thing is she had originally decided she didn't want to extend with me so I had lined somebody else up for February but then she changed her mind in November so I extended with her. She could have been with another family already and I could have had a different aupair if she had just found another family instead of deciding to extend an extra year with me

Anonymous wrote:She sounds like a moron, and I don't understand how she could have enough money to buy a car unless it's a POS used car that will fall apart instantly. But whatever, if she's not driving your kids, it's her choice to make.

It also seems like this might be a step towards getting out of your house one way or another (either rematch or just go AWOL).

way too many au pairs ask to extend and then bail. We just had that situation. She was supposed to leave in March, but asked to extend until July, then ended up leaving in March anyway. We could have spent that time looking for an au pair instead of being left in a lurch and I told her that too.

So frustrating!! I wish it wasn't this way.

Yes, we put a limit on it. The au pair has to make a decision to extend with us or not by a certain month so we can find another au pair for the following year. I would definitely not be dropping someone who had committed to us because an indecisive or flaky au pair changed her mind. It is way too hard to find another good au pair at the last minute, especially right now.

Agreed that it is much more difficult right now. Daycare starting to look better and better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems to me like she wants out too. Crappy thing is she had originally decided she didn't want to extend with me so I had lined somebody else up for February but then she changed her mind in November so I extended with her. She could have been with another family already and I could have had a different aupair if she had just found another family instead of deciding to extend an extra year with me

Anonymous wrote:She sounds like a moron, and I don't understand how she could have enough money to buy a car unless it's a POS used car that will fall apart instantly. But whatever, if she's not driving your kids, it's her choice to make.

It also seems like this might be a step towards getting out of your house one way or another (either rematch or just go AWOL).

way too many au pairs ask to extend and then bail. We just had that situation. She was supposed to leave in March, but asked to extend until July, then ended up leaving in March anyway. We could have spent that time looking for an au pair instead of being left in a lurch and I told her that too.

So frustrating!! I wish it wasn't this way.

I really think they give each other piss poor advice about being able to negotiate a ton if you extend. But, we had already given her 2 raises and other perks due to covid so there was not going to be this merit increase just because she asked to extend.

yeah I gave her a raise after she extended and am willing to offer more money if she just lets this car thing go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Control freak. No landlord has right to say: you can’t have a vehicle parked on the street. Street doesn’t belong to you. I hope your au pair will get her car and drive it to normal family

also street parking isn't allowed on my street, and my garage only has room for one car.

Then she pays for a spot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Control freak. No landlord has right to say: you can’t have a vehicle parked on the street. Street doesn’t belong to you. I hope your au pair will get her car and drive it to normal family

also street parking isn't allowed on my street, and my garage only has room for one car.

Then she pays for a spot.

Thank you for this perspective!

[Anonymous]

Where do you live? When I was an au pair many moons ago the families in the suburbs were required to provide a car for off time use. If you are not in a walkable area then I think you should get another car. Unless you told her not to drive to the boyfriends house then she did nothing wrong. You already said accident wasn’t her fault.