Aupair wants to buy own car after totaling my car (car wreck was off duty)

[Anonymous]

She needs a legal address to register a car and for insurance. Tell her she can’t use yours.
And honestly, I would rematch, she sounds like a nightmare and you sound too nice.

[Anonymous]

You have to assume she US finding loopholes for other things rematch.

[Anonymous]

Thank you for validating how I feel. I might just put my kids in daycare if she keeps pushing the car issue because I've looked at thenin country options right now and they all seem worse

Anonymous wrote:She needs a legal address to register a car and for insurance. Tell her she can’t use yours.
And honestly, I would rematch, she sounds like a nightmare and you sound too nice.

[Anonymous]

Right, this is my concern. She even tried to find a loophole about the rule i had about letting her boyfriend sleep over. He was still in her room when she started work one day and I had to put my foot down and tell her he can be here when she's not working, but not when she's supposed to be taking care of the kids and I'm at work. I will honestly probably just give up on the program if things don't work out with her.

Anonymous wrote:You have to assume she US finding loopholes for other things rematch.

[Anonymous]

It seems to me like she wants out too. Crappy thing is she had originally decided she didn't want to extend with me so I had lined somebody else up for February but then she changed her mind in November so I extended with her. She could have been with another family already and I could have had a different aupair if she had just found another family instead of deciding to extend an extra year with me

Anonymous wrote:She sounds like a moron, and I don't understand how she could have enough money to buy a car unless it's a POS used car that will fall apart instantly. But whatever, if she's not driving your kids, it's her choice to make.

It also seems like this might be a step towards getting out of your house one way or another (either rematch or just go AWOL).

[Anonymous]

I would get rid of her. She just doesn't seem very smart. I mean, she'd go home whenever her year ends - how would she ship her car home to her country?

[Anonymous]

I can't believe she is not taking your generous offer. She sounds like trouble. However if I was you I would
1) let her buy her car and drive, she might get better or she might get discouraged when she start the process and get the real price for everything. My previous AP who I didnt let drive my kids extended with another family and drive a huge van every day with no problem it seems.
2) or I would rematch, she seems to be the kind of AP who will never be happy whatever you do. I think the only reason she extended was to be close to her bf and he is her priority right now. After the car she will find something to fight about.

[Anonymous]

Pretty sure she will just end up marrying her boyfriendafter and staying....

Anonymous wrote:I would get rid of her. She just doesn't seem very smart. I mean, she'd go home whenever her year ends - how would she ship her car home to her country?

[Anonymous]

Definitely liking option 2 better! I am terrified that if she gets into a wreck with the kind of crappy car she can afford, she will die.

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe she is not taking your generous offer. She sounds like trouble. However if I was you I would
1) let her buy her car and drive, she might get better or she might get discouraged when she start the process and get the real price for everything. My previous AP who I didnt let drive my kids extended with another family and drive a huge van every day with no problem it seems.
2) or I would rematch, she seems to be the kind of AP who will never be happy whatever you do. I think the only reason she extended was to be close to her bf and he is her priority right now. After the car she will find something to fight about.

[Anonymous]

This is absurd. She gets a stipend and can use her stipend to pay for uber's or her boyfriend can pick her up. Personal transportation outside basics (i.e. errands) is her responsibility. If she wants to buy a car and pay for insurance, that's her choice and right as an adult. Tell her fine, but she has to pay for the car, gas, insurance and repairs and explain to her how much it will cost. She is an adult. Stop treating her like your child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Right, this is my concern. She even tried to find a loophole about the rule i had about letting her boyfriend sleep over. He was still in her room when she started work one day and I had to put my foot down and tell her he can be here when she's not working, but not when she's supposed to be taking care of the kids and I'm at work. I will honestly probably just give up on the program if things don't work out with her.

Anonymous wrote:You have to assume she US finding loopholes for other things rematch.

If you made it clear no overnight guests, the rule applies. You give her a warning and if it continues to happen, you rematch. Stop being her friend or parent. She's an adult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Right, this is my concern. She even tried to find a loophole about the rule i had about letting her boyfriend sleep over. He was still in her room when she started work one day and I had to put my foot down and tell her he can be here when she's not working, but not when she's supposed to be taking care of the kids and I'm at work. I will honestly probably just give up on the program if things don't work out with her.

Anonymous wrote:You have to assume she US finding loopholes for other things rematch.

If you made it clear no overnight guests, the rule applies. You give her a warning and if it continues to happen, you rematch. Stop being her friend or parent. She's an adult.

i permit overnight guests, i just don't want her boyfriend in my home while she's supposed to be working.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is absurd. She gets a stipend and can use her stipend to pay for uber's or her boyfriend can pick her up. Personal transportation outside basics (i.e. errands) is her responsibility. If she wants to buy a car and pay for insurance, that's her choice and right as an adult. Tell her fine, but she has to pay for the car, gas, insurance and repairs and explain to her how much it will cost. She is an adult. Stop treating her like your child.

i know she is not a child, but she is my employee who also lives with me, so I am also her landlord. As a landlord and employer, I do not want to permit her to have a car.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is absurd. She gets a stipend and can use her stipend to pay for uber's or her boyfriend can pick her up. Personal transportation outside basics (i.e. errands) is her responsibility. If she wants to buy a car and pay for insurance, that's her choice and right as an adult. Tell her fine, but she has to pay for the car, gas, insurance and repairs and explain to her how much it will cost. She is an adult. Stop treating her like your child.

i know she is not a child, but she is my employee who also lives with me, so I am also her landlord. As a landlord and employer, I do not want to permit her to have a car.

I am PP with the 2 options. As absurd as your AP sounds, it is her right to get a car if she wants one, you don’t have the right to forbid it, however you can rematch and it seems like that is the only way out of this situation. I am sure asking to rematch will bring her back to her sense. She wants to stay around for the bf unless she was already planning to get married soon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is absurd. She gets a stipend and can use her stipend to pay for uber's or her boyfriend can pick her up. Personal transportation outside basics (i.e. errands) is her responsibility. If she wants to buy a car and pay for insurance, that's her choice and right as an adult. Tell her fine, but she has to pay for the car, gas, insurance and repairs and explain to her how much it will cost. She is an adult. Stop treating her like your child.

i know she is not a child, but she is my employee who also lives with me, so I am also her landlord. As a landlord and employer, I do not want to permit her to have a car.

I am PP with the 2 options. As absurd as your AP sounds, it is her right to get a car if she wants one, you don’t have the right to forbid it, however you can rematch and it seems like that is the only way out of this situation. I am sure asking to rematch will bring her back to her sense. She wants to stay around for the bf unless she was already planning to get married soon.

Thank you for this perspective. I will be asking for a rematch or leaving the program if she insists on getting her own car.