Big Law attorney turned.... nanny?
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Anonymous
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Nanny here. Lady, you have no idea what you are talking about. You obviously think that anyone who is a decent parent can be a great nanny, but there is a world of difference between the two. It sounds like you haven't even actually spent the entire day home caring for your own kids aside from maternity leave. How do you know you will like it, let alone manage it well enough to add another kid into the mix. You say you love babies. Please answer the following questions:
How would you manage when both babies are going theough separation anxiety and you need to comfort your charge, which sets your baby crying to be held? How and when will you accomplish the following: laundry for your family, preparing meals, planning and setting up activities for two curious crawlers or active toddlers, cleaning your bathrooms, keeping the floors spotless because you have two kids in the orifice-stuffing phase? Will you be doing all of this during your work day? How do you plan to occupy the kids while you do? Or in the evenings after your quality time with your older daughter? And after you stay up until 10pm prepping for the next day, I certainly hope neither of your kids get up overnight. What is your plan for when one baby is sick? How will you manage when they go through early toddlerhood biting/hitting phase? Are you starting to see my point? It's great that you have read a lot of articles, but believe it or not, being generally intelligent does not automatically make you qualified to tackle a new field. You may find a family to try this little experiment on, but I would advise anyone I knew to get a real nanny or a nanny share with a caregiver who has actual experience--and no, your summer nanny jobs in college do not count. The expectation for most summer nannies is that they are caring for preschool- or school-age kids (hence why the family only needs someone in the summer), and that the kids just have to be happy and alive. Someone looking at paying for their own nanny or even a nanny share are going to be looking for a lot more than that, and young babies and toddlers are very different from ages 3+. |
Anonymous
I don't know why people make this seem like the craziest idea ever. Every single nanny starts with 0 experience as nanny, they may have experience in a nursery or daycare, but still limited. However, at least as a mom, you have experience with your own kids. 
I would hire you, OP so don't feel defeated. Everyone starts from somewhere - you may end up loving this and once your kid goes off to school, you may end up doing it as a career. |
Anonymous
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OP you keep insisting that you won't be doing any personal errands whatsoever during the week, and say you want to provide full time care. That tells me that you really haven't seriously thought this through. What if your child -- either of them -- needs to go to the doctor? For check ups or illness? What about when you need to go to the doctor? Not just for illness either; for your annual women's exam, or your annual dental check up, for example? What about the bank, post office, even the car repair shop if your vehicle needs servicing -- many of these establishments have very limited (or zero) open hours outside of the typical full time nanny schedule.
Also: have you EVER actually cared for two kids under 2 simultaneously before? And as others have pointed out, between teacher workdays, snow days, sick days, and THE ENTIRE SUMMER, your DD will likely be home during a significant portion of your "nanny"/ unlicensed in home daycare hours. I agree with previous assessments that if you were to take your son with you to the home of the baby you'll be caring for, you'll be able to make a higher wage than if you stay at home. But then there is still the matter of what will happen when DD is out of school and will your nanny family let you bring both kids with you... I think you will struggle to find a family willing to pay you $15/hr either way. |
Anonymous
Yes, but those nannies with little-to-no experience don't start out in a two-infant-plus-afterschool-kindergartener nanny share making $30 per hour (the equivalent of OP expecting $15 for a kid to watch alongside her own). A low-experience nanny starts with babysitting, mother's helper, part-time, and usually works only with older kids. This is the equvalent of assuming you are perfectly capable of managing a restaurant because you have an MD and waited tables in college. The fact that you don't see the problem IS the problem. |
Anonymous
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OP, I don't think you're entirely crazy but you might have better success both for your mental health and in finding a family, if you look at part time..maybe 3 days a week or two different families who only need 1-2 days each. That would give you some extra money and still time to attend to your personal needs.
I would also downplay your legal degree. I'm not sure that would be a bonus since most families would probably expect you to cut and run when you realize how hard you're working for so little money. |
Anonymous
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You started this post saying you wanted to be a SAHM. What you're describing now is an equally-intense career for half the money (at best). Full time + to cover the employer's commute, and you needing to find time to do all the things a SAHM would do, plus still needing care for your older daughter. You're even talking about potentially going to someone else's house.
I thought the point was to be a SAHM? I think you have a lot of anxiety about the reduction in income, especially because you're adding a second child, and also because you've never truly been a "dependent" before. You're used to saying that you stand on your own two feet. Becoming a SAHM means really giving yourself over to the idea of a marriage as a partnership and a family as a unit, with each person contributing something valuable. Your contribution may or may not include income, but, yes, I think the idea of earning a max of 40K a year for the same crazy hours you work now to be at someone else's beck and call as a nanny while spending no more time with your older daughter is crazypants. If you want to do child care, let it be known that you're available for emergency care, like when someone else's nanny calls in sick. Charge a premium (20/hr?), and see how you like it. If it turns out you love it, maybe expand to a home daycare. If it turns out that you really aren't available all that much, maybe it tells you something. Or, maybe the emergency care would be perfect. Beggars can't be choosers, and a parent dropping a kid off for last-minute care doesn't get to dictate how you spend the day like a regular client would. |
Anonymous
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I just have to add a couple of things to the thread. I think Op could find a family willing to do this as long as she is willing to work out of their home for discounted nanny salary full-time or for a nanny share price 50 percent of the time. When i did shared nannying I alternated the days of the kids houses or weeks. So op could be in her home 2 days per week and 3 in the other home.
Also for those that continue to mention appointments etc. When nannies work as a share they still get PTO, sick days and vacation from the families. So that will have to be negotiated. She will just have to schedule her dr appt etc during this time. But I must say that I am appalled that OP is wiling to leave a 4/5 year old in ASP until 5pm just to have another kid in her care versus having her be allowed to come home at 3 |
Anonymous
You know that a lot of career nannies have their kids in daycare/AFC. This is how they put food on the table, like any other job. I'm just baffled by that decision, since she started out saying she wanted to be a SAHM. Instead, it sounds like she wants to shift careers, and ideally bring her baby to work. Those are two very different things, and she needs to work out in her own head what it is she wants to do and why she's quitting her high-paying job: is this a career shift, or a switch to SAHM? |
Anonymous
Most of the situations I have known where the nanny leaves her own kids to be a nanny to someone elses--the circumstances are VASTLY different than OPs. I HAVE heard of women from 3rd world countries leaving their children behind to work in the US as nannies and sending money back. I have also heard of women who were employed as a nanny, got pregnant and had the baby, and then left their baby with a family member so they could continue to nanny for the original family. I have never heard of someone who leaves a highly paid profession to take on the responsibility of someone else's child, while leaving their own child in full time day care. |
Anonymous
| Question for those of you who said you would hire OP at $15/hr to bring her son along: Do you currently hire a nanny? Does that nanny bring her own child along? What do you pay her? |
Anonymous
I suspect these people like the idea of "someone like them" (read: white, American, highly educated), and live in areas where the nanny they would more likely employ is $20-$25/hr.. Then, OP is a bargain. I still don't see them dropping their kid off at her house for that rate, though. |
Anonymous
NP. True, but I also think these families would be pretty upset the first time OP's kid bites theirs or gets their angel sick (very likely with older sis bringing home kindergarten cooties each day). |
Anonymous
NP here. I pay $25 per hour and would hire OP for $15 in this share situation. I would also not be paying for benefits other than PTO. |
Anonymous
Not so. That is significant savings for someone like me to watch my child when I cannot. I would give it a year and then we could reevaluate whether it works for both parties. |
Anonymous
From reading DCUM, it seems that in most nanny shares in this area, each family pays about $10-12/hr. Plus in a true nanny share, each child and family is on more "equal footing" as opposed to this situation. So you would be paying substantially more, for less equal status--so that a top tier law school graduate can be your nanny? |