Big Law attorney turned.... nanny?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry OP for all the mean/snarky comments on here.

You asked a legit question & have received a lot of unjustified criticism back.

People gave their honest thoughts. Would it be better to lie? "Yes, OP. You will have NO problem earning $15/hr to have a Big Law lawyer bring her child to your house. She will have no problem if your older child is also there in the mornings, afternoons, and every time there is a school holiday, snow day, and all of summer break." Then OP could quit her big law job and find out that it was actually impossible to find an employer like that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry OP for all the mean/snarky comments on here.

You asked a legit question & have received a lot of unjustified criticism back.

People gave their honest thoughts. Would it be better to lie? "Yes, OP. You will have NO problem earning $15/hr to have a Big Law lawyer bring her child to your house. She will have no problem if your older child is also there in the mornings, afternoons, and every time there is a school holiday, snow day, and all of summer break." Then OP could quit her big law job and find out that it was actually impossible to find an employer like that?

I think she'd be smart enough to find the position before quitting her job.

[Anonymous]

I'd be happy to find a setup like this, and I'd also be happy to have it in the nanny's home as long as the location was convenient on my commute and she was, within reason, flexible on the pickup time. I'd rather not have 2 kids in my home all day and it keeps the house cleaner.

I totally think you can find a taker on this deal, OP.

[Anonymous]

^^ That said, $15/hour probably is a little high. I agree with $10 - $12/hour.

[Anonymous]

OP here - sorry I fell behind on your responses. I really appreciate the different perspectives.

I'm still 5 months out from leaving my current position, so I'm really just beginning to test the waters with this idea; I have not thought through all of the complications. That's part of why I posted here - to get a better sense of what I'd be getting myself into!

In terms of getting to doctor's appointments, being sick, etc., I would do what I imagine any nanny with children would do - use whatever time off I have arranged with the family (whether paid or unpaid). I would run errands on evenings and weekends, like all working parents do.

In terms of my experience - I'm not sure when a babysitter crosses over into a nanny, but I was a caregiver for two families (full time in summer, part time during the school year during high school and college); both families had multiple children. No experience with 2 under 2; one family had 3 elementary-aged boys, and the middle child was severely autistic. The other family had a baby and 3 year old.

I understand concerns about favoring my own child. That's something I would be aware of and frankly I think I'd be inclined to actually over-compensate just so things would be "fair" to the other family. Like most people with two under two, I think a lot babywearing would be involved, especially when one of the babies is more high maintenance than usual (has a cold, teething, etc.) I think I would invest in a Bugaboo Donkey or some other stroller where both babies can face me when we go for walks, etc.

The point many of you raise about my daughter is definitely quite concerning. First of all - just like my son, I love my daughter more than life. She is wonderful and I would absolutely prefer to be spending that extra time with her. I'm considering doing this because making that extra money would be the wiggle room we need in our budget to be comfortable, and it would save us tens of thousands of dollars of interest on my student loans because I could continue paying them at the current rate. Additionally, I feel like my son really needs my attention in a way my daughter doesn't at this age. I'm a big believer that "birth to 3" is so critical for brain development, and they benefit from adult interactions more than anything else. Whereas my kindergartner, while by no means grown, really loves her school, her friends, and she really benefits from that enriching school environment where she can learn and grow. She also goes to bed much later than the baby, so even with her getting home at 5, I I still get three solid hours with her in the evenings on weekdays. But yes, even as I write that, it hits me that it's a HUGE sacrifice to not have that extra time.

Getting back to the point - my daughter attends a school that is affiliated with DH's university. We can afford to send her there because University faculty/staff get a steep discount on tuition. The school community is made up half of university-affiliated kids and half 1 percent-er kids (for lack of a better word). We live nearby the school. I was envisioning finding a family who has a child at DD's school, and a baby; that way drop off at my house wouldn't be too out of the way, and when DD's out of school for random professional development days, etc., I could have her and the family's older kid home with me. Depending on the family, they may prefer to have me pick up both kids at 2:30 daily rather than paying the school for extended day (until 4:30). That said, I hadn't really thought about summer. That would definitely get complicated and may be prohibitive of this idea.

Anyways, I don't have $15/hour as a hard-line. But, as you all acknowledged, I would be making big sacrifices to do this (less time with my daughter, less flexibility as a SAHM, etc.), so I'm not sure if I can bring in enough doing this to make it worth those sacrifices. It's ok if I'm not worth that income doing this job -I can accept that. It's why I asked. I'm not looking to work part-time outside the home; I'm not going to quit my current job to still need to put my infant son in daycare.

I will mull over these points, including the idea of drop-in or emergency care.

Thank you all for your responses. And I'm sorry if I came off as elitist. I'm sure there are good nannies and bad from all walks of life.

And yes, going to law school was a waste for me. I knew it would be, but that is a very long story and not really relevant here.

[Anonymous]

What does your husband want you to do? What is your plan once your baby is in school? Maybe you slow down on the loans for now, but pick back up in the future.

I think you're idealizing this job, btw, because it isn't law, which you hate. Baby care is 20% babywearing and walks in the park, and 80% feeding people, cleaning up, changing diapers, and coordinating schedules. When you talk about having four, potentially, to care for some days ... this is a daycare situation.

Also, I imagine when you were babysitting back in the day, your "off" time was your own. Now, you have home and child responsibilities 24-hours a day.

[Anonymous]

I think it's doable if you price acvordingly You are not the first or last person to bring their child to a nanny share.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What does your husband want you to do? What is your plan once your baby is in school? Maybe you slow down on the loans for now, but pick back up in the future.

I think you're idealizing this job, btw, because it isn't law, which you hate. Baby care is 20% babywearing and walks in the park, and 80% feeding people, cleaning up, changing diapers, and coordinating schedules. When you talk about having four, potentially, to care for some days ... this is a daycare situation.

Also, I imagine when you were babysitting back in the day, your "off" time was your own. Now, you have home and child responsibilities 24-hours a day.

My husband likes the idea, because he is much more stressed about the loan situation than I am. That is the plan if I don't bring in any income - pay the minimum loan payments for 5 years, go back to work then. I'd like to start a completely different career, but not until both kids are set in school full-time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does your husband want you to do? What is your plan once your baby is in school? Maybe you slow down on the loans for now, but pick back up in the future.

I think you're idealizing this job, btw, because it isn't law, which you hate. Baby care is 20% babywearing and walks in the park, and 80% feeding people, cleaning up, changing diapers, and coordinating schedules. When you talk about having four, potentially, to care for some days ... this is a daycare situation.

Also, I imagine when you were babysitting back in the day, your "off" time was your own. Now, you have home and child responsibilities 24-hours a day.

My husband likes the idea, because he is much more stressed about the loan situation than I am. That is the plan if I don't bring in any income - pay the minimum loan payments for 5 years, go back to work then. I'd like to start a completely different career, but not until both kids are set in school full-time.

I really encourage you to look into something more part time than being a full time nanny for up to 4 children at a time, then. When the five years are up, you're going to have had no time or energy to figure out what you want to do next.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Anyways, I don't have $15/hour as a hard-line. But, as you all acknowledged, I would be making big sacrifices to do this (less time with my daughter, less flexibility as a SAHM, etc.), so I'm not sure if I can bring in enough doing this to make it worth those sacrifices. It's ok if I'm not worth that income doing this job -I can accept that. It's why I asked. I'm not looking to work part-time outside the home; I'm not going to quit my current job to still need to put my infant son in daycare.

I will mull over these points, including the idea of drop-in or emergency care.

Thank you all for your responses. And I'm sorry if I came off as elitist. I'm sure there are good nannies and bad from all walks of life.

And yes, going to law school was a waste for me. I knew it would be, but that is a very long story and not really relevant here.

Except you won't be a SAHM at all. You'll be working. You'll have *none* of the flexibility of a SAHM. And you won't have your Big Law leave, you'll have the two weeks of PTO or whatever nannies get.

Also, you have almost no relevant experience. Babysitting in college just isn't going to matter very much. You have a lot of education, but it's completely irrelevant to caring for kids. Someone with a CDA has more relevant education than you do. Many parents may avoid hiring you because they will think you will not be able to take orders, or you're overqualified and will quit.

I would consider part-time, whether part of the day or two or three days a week, or an arrangement where you pick up another kid who goes to your daughter's school and watch that kid for the afternoon at your house, or something like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Anyways, I don't have $15/hour as a hard-line. But, as you all acknowledged, I would be making big sacrifices to do this (less time with my daughter, less flexibility as a SAHM, etc.), so I'm not sure if I can bring in enough doing this to make it worth those sacrifices. It's ok if I'm not worth that income doing this job -I can accept that. It's why I asked. I'm not looking to work part-time outside the home; I'm not going to quit my current job to still need to put my infant son in daycare.

I will mull over these points, including the idea of drop-in or emergency care.

Thank you all for your responses. And I'm sorry if I came off as elitist. I'm sure there are good nannies and bad from all walks of life.

And yes, going to law school was a waste for me. I knew it would be, but that is a very long story and not really relevant here.

Except you won't be a SAHM at all. You'll be working. You'll have *none* of the flexibility of a SAHM. And you won't have your Big Law leave, you'll have the two weeks of PTO or whatever nannies get.

Also, you have almost no relevant experience. Babysitting in college just isn't going to matter very much. You have a lot of education, but it's completely irrelevant to caring for kids. Someone with a CDA has more relevant education than you do. Many parents may avoid hiring you because they will think you will not be able to take orders, or you're overqualified and will quit.

I would consider part-time, whether part of the day or two or three days a week, or an arrangement where you pick up another kid who goes to your daughter's school and watch that kid for the afternoon at your house, or something like that.

This is a great idea. It would probably only amount to a few hundred a month, but that's better than nothing, and would give your older daughter a play date.

If you are wedded to the idea of bringing in $2500-$3000/mo, though, you need to look into part time gigs that would use your degree and experience. Online teaching, adjunct teaching, law contract work (I know you said you don't want to do this) ...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Anyways, I don't have $15/hour as a hard-line. But, as you all acknowledged, I would be making big sacrifices to do this (less time with my daughter, less flexibility as a SAHM, etc.), so I'm not sure if I can bring in enough doing this to make it worth those sacrifices. It's ok if I'm not worth that income doing this job -I can accept that. It's why I asked. I'm not looking to work part-time outside the home; I'm not going to quit my current job to still need to put my infant son in daycare.

I will mull over these points, including the idea of drop-in or emergency care.

Thank you all for your responses. And I'm sorry if I came off as elitist. I'm sure there are good nannies and bad from all walks of life.

And yes, going to law school was a waste for me. I knew it would be, but that is a very long story and not really relevant here.

Except you won't be a SAHM at all. You'll be working. You'll have *none* of the flexibility of a SAHM. And you won't have your Big Law leave, you'll have the two weeks of PTO or whatever nannies get.

Also, you have almost no relevant experience. Babysitting in college just isn't going to matter very much. You have a lot of education, but it's completely irrelevant to caring for kids. Someone with a CDA has more relevant education than you do. Many parents may avoid hiring you because they will think you will not be able to take orders, or you're overqualified and will quit.

I would consider part-time, whether part of the day or two or three days a week, or an arrangement where you pick up another kid who goes to your daughter's school and watch that kid for the afternoon at your house, or something like that.

People hire nanny's so they don't need to worry about them having to take days off and when their kids get sick. Its far more than you are thinking about. Once you are out 5 years, its very hard to get back in, despite what you think. Also, 4 kids is very different than two. Do you have a car large enough to do pick ups? You are looking at your ideal situation and its really about you and your needs. No one is going to pay $15 an hour for a home day care that is not licensed and you have your own kids there too.

[Anonymous]

Personally, I think you should keep working as an attorney until you have paid off your student loans. Then do the nanny / home daycare thing.

[Anonymous]

OP, you should really look at something very part-time that is akin to your current field. I think adjunct professor is the best plan since you wouldn't have to pay for childcare for DD in the summer. That gives you some wiggle room to focus on figuring out how to be a SAHM and be good at it. At the same time, let other parents at DD's school know that you are open to caring for their kids on random teacher work days, memorial day, spring break, etc. A year from now you will have recent professional childcare references from families you have worked with in that capacity and your baby will be properly a toddler instead of an infant. At that point you can revisit whether to open a home daycare, look into nannying or continue the status quo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Personally, I think you should keep working as an attorney until you have paid off your student loans. Then do the nanny / home daycare thing.

This is really the best plan. I'm sure OP knows it, too. But the baby years only happen once, and she hates being a lawyer.

I hear this story all the time: an expensive degree b/c someone felt like they couldn't get off the train once it left the station, but how much money would have been saved if she'd just quit after year 1?