Big Law attorney turned.... nanny?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Personally, I think you should keep working as an attorney until you have paid off your student loans. Then do the nanny / home daycare thing.

This is really the best plan. I'm sure OP knows it, too. But the baby years only happen once, and she hates being a lawyer.

I hear this story all the time: an expensive degree b/c someone felt like they couldn't get off the train once it left the station, but how much money would have been saved if she'd just quit after year 1?

OP here - yes, exactly this. I should work another year or two and pay it off. But my babies are only babies now, and having that time is invaluable to me.

I'm not trying to get back into law in 5 years. I want to go into a completely different field.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Anyways, I don't have $15/hour as a hard-line. But, as you all acknowledged, I would be making big sacrifices to do this (less time with my daughter, less flexibility as a SAHM, etc.), so I'm not sure if I can bring in enough doing this to make it worth those sacrifices. It's ok if I'm not worth that income doing this job -I can accept that. It's why I asked. I'm not looking to work part-time outside the home; I'm not going to quit my current job to still need to put my infant son in daycare.

I will mull over these points, including the idea of drop-in or emergency care.

Thank you all for your responses. And I'm sorry if I came off as elitist. I'm sure there are good nannies and bad from all walks of life.

And yes, going to law school was a waste for me. I knew it would be, but that is a very long story and not really relevant here.

Except you won't be a SAHM at all. You'll be working. You'll have *none* of the flexibility of a SAHM. And you won't have your Big Law leave, you'll have the two weeks of PTO or whatever nannies get.

Also, you have almost no relevant experience. Babysitting in college just isn't going to matter very much. You have a lot of education, but it's completely irrelevant to caring for kids. Someone with a CDA has more relevant education than you do. Many parents may avoid hiring you because they will think you will not be able to take orders, or you're overqualified and will quit.

I would consider part-time, whether part of the day or two or three days a week, or an arrangement where you pick up another kid who goes to your daughter's school and watch that kid for the afternoon at your house, or something like that.

This is a great idea. It would probably only amount to a few hundred a month, but that's better than nothing, and would give your older daughter a play date.

If you are wedded to the idea of bringing in $2500-$3000/mo, though, you need to look into part time gigs that would use your degree and experience. Online teaching, adjunct teaching, law contract work (I know you said you don't want to do this) ...

I agree this is a great idea, and I think it'd be easy to find people for this. All the parents are complaining about the random PD days and lack of childcare (myself included).

I'm not wedded to making that amount; that's what I need to make to justify the things I'd be giving up (time with DD, flexibility). If all goes to plan I will be able to efficiently tackle the remainder of my loans when I go back to work down the road.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Anyways, I don't have $15/hour as a hard-line. But, as you all acknowledged, I would be making big sacrifices to do this (less time with my daughter, less flexibility as a SAHM, etc.), so I'm not sure if I can bring in enough doing this to make it worth those sacrifices. It's ok if I'm not worth that income doing this job -I can accept that. It's why I asked. I'm not looking to work part-time outside the home; I'm not going to quit my current job to still need to put my infant son in daycare.

I will mull over these points, including the idea of drop-in or emergency care.

Thank you all for your responses. And I'm sorry if I came off as elitist. I'm sure there are good nannies and bad from all walks of life.

And yes, going to law school was a waste for me. I knew it would be, but that is a very long story and not really relevant here.

Except you won't be a SAHM at all. You'll be working. You'll have *none* of the flexibility of a SAHM. And you won't have your Big Law leave, you'll have the two weeks of PTO or whatever nannies get.

Also, you have almost no relevant experience. Babysitting in college just isn't going to matter very much. You have a lot of education, but it's completely irrelevant to caring for kids. Someone with a CDA has more relevant education than you do. Many parents may avoid hiring you because they will think you will not be able to take orders, or you're overqualified and will quit.

I would consider part-time, whether part of the day or two or three days a week, or an arrangement where you pick up another kid who goes to your daughter's school and watch that kid for the afternoon at your house, or something like that.

This is a great idea. It would probably only amount to a few hundred a month, but that's better than nothing, and would give your older daughter a play date.

If you are wedded to the idea of bringing in $2500-$3000/mo, though, you need to look into part time gigs that would use your degree and experience. Online teaching, adjunct teaching, law contract work (I know you said you don't want to do this) ...

I agree this is a great idea, and I think it'd be easy to find people for this. All the parents are complaining about the random PD days and lack of childcare (myself included).

I'm not wedded to making that amount; that's what I need to make to justify the things I'd be giving up (time with DD, flexibility). If all goes to plan I will be able to efficiently tackle the remainder of my loans when I go back to work down the road.

For this situation, I actually would see your background as a plus. Older kids are more self-sufficient, and I'd like the idea that my DC would get a healthy snack and not be in the fight club (er ... after care) situation at school. If you also were committed to no screen time, I'd be willing to pay more than after care rates. I'd really have to think through whether I'd be willing to do nanny rates, though.

[Anonymous]

Do your husband a favor and at least work to pay off your debt before you expect him to support you the rest of your life. And FFS there are a ton of different jobs you can do with a law degree.

[Anonymous]

OP, just be a SAHM since that is what you want. Since you will not be working, you will be saving money on childcare. You will be saving money on a work wardrobe and other professional expenses. You can cut back to just one vehicle. You can eliminate any housekeeping services and laundry services. You will be home to cook more meals so you will spend less money on convenience foods and meals.

[Anonymous]

Being a nanny won't fulfill you. You will not be spending time with just your child and the responsibility of another child coupled with expectations of that kids parents will wear you off. You will not be making much in other for this to be worthy of your time.
If your goal is to spend time with your baby, can you be in law part time maybe? you can still spend considerable amount of time in your child's life and keep working as an attorney which is what you chose to be in life and I assume will pay your bills much faster.

[Anonymous]

OMG- please do not quit your lawyer job to be a nanny/SAHM. It's a horrible, poorly thought out idea.

Your DH is "tenure track" not tenured. My DH was tenure track too, and then didn't get tenure in his 6th year and then was unemployed for a year, and then finally luckily found a new job with a much farther commute and started "tenure track" all over. Not sure if/when he will ever break $100K.

So, you don't love law. now. but you're good at it, and it makes money, and if you practice for a while, you will have more options. 2 of my neighbors are lawyers who work 3 days/week and have 3 kids each. One just went back up to full-time since her kids are in full-day school, and she just became Partner.

Love is not enough when raising a family. You are jeopardizing your financial future by quitting. Don't do it

[Anonymous]

I'm a biglawyer and I would be hugely weirded out by hiring you and asking you to do the stuff my nanny does like matching and folding pajamas, but apparently you're not even offering to do that, so I wouldn't hire you x2.

[Anonymous]

I'd probably hire you for close to $15/hour. It wouldn't bother me that the care is at your house or that your other kids are around. If it turns out that my child's development is at the determent of your family set up, I'd reconsider. But, I'd give it a chance.

This is coming from a mom of an 18 month old currently at a daycare center.

[Anonymous]

You need a licence to watch another family child at your home ,you need insurance . What if something happen to the other baby while is at your house? you are going to get $10 hour the most and you still have to pay taxes even if they pay you cash , families that look for nanny share are low income people who can't afford a nanny for them self usually they declare child care expenses to the IRS even if they pay cash to pay less taxes or get child care money back .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd probably hire you for close to $15/hour. It wouldn't bother me that the care is at your house or that your other kids are around. If it turns out that my child's development is at the determent of your family set up, I'd reconsider. But, I'd give it a chance.

This is coming from a mom of an 18 month old currently at a daycare center.

Out of curiosity, what about this situation would be attractive to you?
Does your child's day care center close two weeks out of the year that you still pay for (since it's standard to give a nanny two weeks paid vacation?). What about when the teacher gets sick, do you need to scramble for back up care or does the center handle that?

How much is the tuition at the daycare center? At $15/hr, OP would be getting $600 for a 40 hour work week. Plus overtime at time and a half--so even just 45 hours would be $712/week. As her employer, you'd also be responsible for withholding taxes and paying "nanny taxes" (social security, Medicare, etc.). This could easily add up to nearly $800/week. And you are still the one getting your child out of the house each day, the extra stop before and after work, etc.

[Anonymous]

Why on earth would you quit a highly educated, well paid job that pays you $100+/hour for one that pays you $10-$15/hour? It's just completely irrational.

You're being lured into the emotional desire of wanting to be with your baby 24/7 at the detriment your family's overall long-term well-being.

This of it this way. You only have to work 3 years in law to earn as much as working the next 30 years as a nanny.

Keep the Big Law job, take your vacations, take a sabbatical at some point, and in 10 years, you will be thrilled that you can easily pay for your kids' college and your own retirement.

It has been proven that parental income is by far the largest predictor of a child/student's success.

[Anonymous]

I used to be a big law associate before having DD and DH is still in big law and we know a lot of people like OP. The law is not for them, they just KNOW they'll be SO MUCH happier doing something else and nine times out of ten, it is something the polar opposite of the law. Acting, cooking, professional poker player, so on. Hell, I was like this, too! For those who actually jump ship, the vast majority end up back in the law within 5 years once reality catches up with them. DH and I have one friend who quit as a junior associate from a top 10 firm for her "dream job" at a restaurant. Within a year, she was back at a firm, but a small lifestyle one with much lower comp. Over the past 5 years, she has worked at three firms, basically, clawing her way back up the rankings and compensation because now with 2 kids under 3, she REALLY wants the extra money. The sad thing is that if she had never left law to begin with and had been making the big money all this time (and saving it), she would now be in a place financially where she could be working at that small lifestyle firm that let her work from home and actually get to see her kids. Her 1 & 3 year olds are in daycare 10 hours a day and sometimes an extra hour babysat by one of the daycare teachers because the parents are stuck at the office.

OP, the moral of the story is not that you should stay at a job you hate, it's that you should MAKE SURE the grass is actually greener before you commit to the other side. Why not ask your firm if you can take an unpaid six-month sabbatical during which you try out being a nanny? I'm assuming you started having kids after you started working and if you've stayed with one employer, that means it's been over five years and I know some firms will consider the unpaid sabbatical at the five year mark.

[Anonymous]

I'm 17:24. One thing I'll add as I'm not sure if it's been said before, the desire to be a SAHM is strong until your kids go to school. Once your younger kid starts school or preschool, are you still going to want to be a nanny? Or will you feel hankerings (as I do) to start working at a job, any job, and now law is starting to look pretty attractive again? I know it's hard being a working parent and being away from your baby. But you should take a long-term horizon perspective in making career decisions. DH earns enough to support our family and so I decided to be a SAHM because I did not like working as a lawyer. In hindsight, what I wish I had done is take a lower-paying lifestyle job in the law, maybe even freelance/contract so that I wouldn't have the CV gap. That way I would have been able to spend some time (not as much as I would have liked) with my baby, but still be able to have a career, which I am really really missing now.

[Anonymous]

I'm the online adjunct. I call it my "mommy track" job, but I guess "lifestyle job" fits, too, and even though DH would prefer I just quit altogether, there's no gap on my CV, and I actually get to think about things other than the kids some times. And have conversations with people who don't live or work in my household (we have a nanny).

OP, you need a break, but this plan is just so much escape fantasy and so little reality ...