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[quote=Anonymous]You started this post saying you wanted to be a SAHM. What you're describing now is an equally-intense career for half the money (at best). Full time + to cover the employer's commute, and you needing to find time to do all the things a SAHM would do, plus still needing care for your older daughter. You're even talking about potentially going to someone else's house.

I thought the point was to be a SAHM? I think you have a lot of anxiety about the reduction in income, especially because you're adding a second child, and also because you've never truly been a "dependent" before. You're used to saying that you stand on your own two feet.

Becoming a SAHM means really giving yourself over to the idea of a marriage as a partnership and a family as a unit, with each person contributing something valuable. Your contribution may or may not include income, but, yes, I think the idea of earning a max of 40K a year for the same crazy hours you work now to be at someone else's beck and call as a nanny while spending no more time with your older daughter is crazypants.

If you want to do child care, let it be known that you're available for emergency care, like when someone else's nanny calls in sick. Charge a premium (20/hr?), and see how you like it. If it turns out you love it, maybe expand to a home daycare. If it turns out that you really aren't available all that much, maybe it tells you something. Or, maybe the emergency care would be perfect. Beggars can't be choosers, and a parent dropping a kid off for last-minute care doesn't get to dictate how you spend the day like a regular client would.

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