Our nanny thinks she knows everything. Let the parents make the calls!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow...Cloth diapers....??! Is this the fifties??

Cloth diapers are a pain in the butt for the simple fact alone that they do not absorb!! And that is so unhealthy for any baby's skin. People say it is better for the planet, well considering they do not absorb at all, babies who use them need to be changed more often, thus they need to be washed more often so add'l water, electricity/gas and soap must be used so how does that help the environment??

Anyway, as your nanny, she should not be giving out unsolicited advice. She is the nanny and it is her job to follow orders from you, the parents.

If she cannot adequately follow your instructions without having to put in her two cents' worth, then you need to find a new nanny. One who works for you, not against you.

Are you that dim? Cloth diapers have come a long way from the 50's. In fact, some children with very sensitive skin do much better in cloth because their skin is not constantly in contact with the chemicals in disposable diapers.

Sorry, I am not a light bulb so I am unable to use the adjective word "dim" to describe myself, though if you have any other choice words for me, I would love to hear them, but dim does not apply to humans.

And yes, I have worked with babies using the modern cloth diapers. No more diaper pins, I know they have buttons now. And liners. And I know diaper services no longer drop off and pick up diapers, etc. I KNOW THIS

But one thing that will always remain the same regarding cloth diapers is something that cannot ever be disputed: ------> They do not absorb!! So it's a catch-22. If you want to get all anal about it (no baby pun intended btw), either your baby's skin will be exposed to his own urine/feces or the chemicals in disposable diapers.

Pick your poison.

Come one, who in the hell is leaving their child or charges to sit in feces? That is just gross. I did have a charge who broke out in a rash all around his waist from wearing disposable diapers whenever we had to use them, so we kept the disposable to a minimum. And yes we tried many different brands.

Of course cloth diapers aren't as absorbant as disposables, but lots and lots of people use them and are happy. Guess what? They just change their babies more often instead of leaving them in the same diaper for hours on end. If someone wants to take on this task, then who I am to criticize their choice?

There are a lot of people who cloth diaper due to environmental concerns as well. Again, this is something that is a personal choice and not one I would criticize someone else for making.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Get a sitter, as this nanny is over-qualified for this MB. Another family would be thrilled to get her knowledge, experience level and professionalism.

I agree this nanny is not a good fit with this MB. The nanny's job is to reduce stress, not generate it. She should let the nanny go so she can go generate stress somewhere else.

On the contrary, the nanny's job is to provide the best possible childcare according to her education, training and experience.

Your confusion about this issue accounts for about 95 percent of all problems between the nannies and the parents.

Perhaps a good mental health therapist or some physical exercise could help the mb learn how to reduce her stress level. Most nannies are not equipped to assist with that.

There are lots of ways to provide the "best possible childcare." There is no one right way to do this.

The nanny has zero experience with this particular kid. And she also has zero authority to decide what's right for the kid. If the mother wants to do things a different way, and the nanny can't take it, she should leave rather than lecture the person who signs her checks. The nanny will never win in this conflict.

The nanny's job is to reduce stress, not generate it. She should go generate stress somewhere else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Get a sitter, as this nanny is over-qualified for this MB. Another family would be thrilled to get her knowledge, experience level and professionalism.

I agree this nanny is not a good fit with this MB. The nanny's job is to reduce stress, not generate it. She should let the nanny go so she can go generate stress somewhere else.

On the contrary, the nanny's job is to provide the best possible childcare according to her education, training and experience.

Your confusion about this issue accounts for about 95 percent of all problems between the nannies and the parents.

Perhaps a good mental health therapist or some physical exercise could help the mb learn how to reduce her stress level. Most nannies are not equipped to assist with that.

There are lots of ways to provide the "best possible childcare." There is no one right way to do this.

The nanny has zero experience with this particular kid. And she also has zero authority to decide what's right for the kid. If the mother wants to do things a different way, and the nanny can't take it, she should leave rather than lecture the person who signs her checks. The nanny will never win in this conflict.

The nanny's job is to reduce stress, not generate it. She should go generate stress somewhere else.

+1! There is no one right way to raise children - if there was, everyone would do it. Kids are different, family priorities are different, and parenting philosophies are different and it's all okay. I know plenty of people who were fed rice cereal and wore disposal diapers who turned out to be just fine in adulthood. Your nanny may know children better than you do, but as the parent, you know YOUR child and what you as a family need best and that is okay. The things your nanny is trying to dictate on are parenting decisions not right and wrong questions. If she really is so forceful about these things, you are not a good fit and you need a new nanny. Also if nannies are really used to typically making these decisions, they should be more concerned about the parents looking to outsource such basic parenting choices rather than the parents who are unwilling to do so. Honestly, the number of responses on this thread suggesting your nanny is right and that you should listen to her are just bizarre.

[Anonymous]

They aren't bizarre if you consider that they are all written by one, very prolific, poster.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They aren't bizarre if you consider that they are all written by one, very prolific, poster.

You?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She has been taking care of kids for years and you are a first time mom. She knows a hell of a lot more than you know.

I basically agree with the above post even though I didn't say it. She is therefore not the "only" one posting similar sentiments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She has been taking care of kids for years and you are a first time mom. She knows a hell of a lot more than you know.

I basically agree with the above post even though I didn't say it. She is therefore not the "only" one posting similar sentiments.

Sure - the nanny has more experience. But the mother is the mother, and the mother is the employer. Therefore it is the nanny's choice to work within or to defy the parent's preferences. An experienced nanny should be able to accept jobs in line with her personal preferences about the level of control etc...

This nanny sounds domineering and inflexible.

Short of a child being put in actual danger, nothing trumps the authority of the parents. They need to fire this nanny and hire someone whose philosophy and approach is a more comfortable fit, which should be much easier this time around now that they have some hiring experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She has been taking care of kids for years and you are a first time mom. She knows a hell of a lot more than you know.

I basically agree with the above post even though I didn't say it. She is therefore not the "only" one posting similar sentiments.

This isn't about being a first time mom. I am and do most of the things the nanny wants to do. This is a parenting choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She has been taking care of kids for years and you are a first time mom. She knows a hell of a lot more than you know.

I basically agree with the above post even though I didn't say it. She is therefore not the "only" one posting similar sentiments.

This isn't about being a first time mom. I am and do most of the things the nanny wants to do. This is a parenting choice.

Then don't choose a nanny who knows what she's doing.

[Anonymous]

I just got out from a care situation with a provider of a similar attitude - she is the childcare expert, she knows what is best, and she barely tolerates parental input. That approach did not work out for us and the provider greatly resented that we listened, but did not take her recommendations. It eventually escalated to her doing what she felt was appropriate and lying to us to say she was doing as we asked.

OP, I would look for a new nanny. The parents and the nanny all need to be on the same team to provide continuity of care for your child. That can't happen if she looks down on your parenting style. Personally, I think cloth diapers are great and I'm all for home made baby food - but those things are your call, not the nanny's.

[Anonymous]

Some of you simply need a sitter, not a professional nanny. Even cheaper too!

[Anonymous]

11:43 again - when you're interviewing your next candidate, I would be really upfront about that fact that while you are flexible in a lot of ways (give examples of where you'd give the nanny full control), there are some areas where you really want things to be done in line with your parenting style and be specific about those areas - sleep, food, diapers, limited screen time, etc. Confirm that the nanny is on board with respecting the parents' wishes (as long as it's not harmful).

I did that when finding our new nanny and it really helped get us started on the right foot. She's a parent as well and she was able to sympathize with the fact that as a parent, you just want some things done your way when it comes to your kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:11:43 again - when you're interviewing your next candidate, I would be really upfront about that fact that while you are flexible in a lot of ways (give examples of where you'd give the nanny full control), there are some areas where you really want things to be done in line with your parenting style and be specific about those areas - sleep, food, diapers, limited screen time, etc. Confirm that the nanny is on board with respecting the parents' wishes (as long as it's not harmful).

I did that when finding our new nanny and it really helped get us started on the right foot. She's a parent as well and she was able to sympathize with the fact that as a parent, you just want some things done your way when it comes to your kid.

Would you feel like a little spanking is "harmful"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:11:43 again - when you're interviewing your next candidate, I would be really upfront about that fact that while you are flexible in a lot of ways (give examples of where you'd give the nanny full control), there are some areas where you really want things to be done in line with your parenting style and be specific about those areas - sleep, food, diapers, limited screen time, etc. Confirm that the nanny is on board with respecting the parents' wishes (as long as it's not harmful).

I did that when finding our new nanny and it really helped get us started on the right foot. She's a parent as well and she was able to sympathize with the fact that as a parent, you just want some things done your way when it comes to your kid.

Would you feel like a little spanking is "harmful"?

Are you trying to derail the thread into a debate over where the line is when it comes to what is harmful? I have an opinion in answer to your question, but I don't want to participate in the side show you're trying to start.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:11:43 again - when you're interviewing your next candidate, I would be really upfront about that fact that while you are flexible in a lot of ways (give examples of where you'd give the nanny full control), there are some areas where you really want things to be done in line with your parenting style and be specific about those areas - sleep, food, diapers, limited screen time, etc. Confirm that the nanny is on board with respecting the parents' wishes (as long as it's not harmful).

I did that when finding our new nanny and it really helped get us started on the right foot. She's a parent as well and she was able to sympathize with the fact that as a parent, you just want some things done your way when it comes to your kid.

Would you feel like a little spanking is "harmful"?

Are you trying to derail the thread into a debate over where the line is when it comes to what is harmful? I have an opinion in answer to your question, but I don't want to participate in the side show you're trying to start.

Precisely my point, thank you. What I might think is "harmful," you might not.

And Btw, I had left the lawyer mom who told me to spank her two year old. She believed, as you do, that she had the authority to call the shots. Sorry, but not with me, or any professional nanny, FYI.

Just get a sitter and all your problems will be solved. How easy is that?