Politely declined potential nanny due to her size

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know what to say OP. In a formal workplace what you're describing is legally actionable.

As an mother, to find someone who you thought was so fantastic and then reject them based on your judgment of their weight is astonishing to me.

I'm an MB. I have twins. I have an older nanny. Neither of us is anywhere near as slender as we'd like to be. We're both fantastic caregivers for the twins and she is more than able to keep up with twin toddlers.

Anyone could make all sorts of snap judgments about either of us based solely on appearance or age or attire, but that tells them nothing about our capabilities.

You apparently knew virtually everything you felt you needed to know about your candidates capabilities but when you saw her you instantly changed your mind.

I'm just so horrified by the picture you've painted in your posting, and by the poor nanny who is without legal resource (or a job!), that I'm at a loss to say anything helpful.

Please think about what your are teaching your children re appearance. It's a tough world out there and lots of people who appear less than perfect on the surface (in your estimation) may, in fact, be fantastic resources.

I wish the rejected candidate luck.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No one here said that every thin person is nessasarily healthy. What has been said, is that obese is definately unhealthy.

But what that's also been said is that people will discriminate a person perfectly qualified for a job solely because they've got more weight on them than others. And that you don't want someone who's going to have a heart attack any minute. How do you know a skinny person isn't just as unhealthy unless you're asking to accompany them to the dr or see health records? That's ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Shame on you OP. your "question" is stupid and straightforward. Of course you can call back choice number 2, if this was real you wouldn't need us to tell you that. You are trying to start a fight, and you're really very sad.

Why is talking about nanny obesity, "trying to start a fight"?

For God's sakes, some of you have discussed DB's skid marks.
Why should nanny obesity be off-limits?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why the pc crap? If you are overweight or obese, you absolutely have a bigger chance of having health complication than if you are a 'healthy weight'. Why are we so scared to voice this???

No one disagrees with that. What I do disagree with the bullshit that fat=unhealthy and skinny=healthy. That's so untrue. Any person that's ever struggled with their weight would be able to tell you it really doesn't have a whole lot to do with eating one way or another. I have very skinny friends who eat poorly all the time. I eat healthy every day and one day of treating myself throws that away. I've always struggled with the weight and that's just how it is. So I have to overcompensate with eating healthily just to stay a normal weight. It's so annoying to hear people who say "all you have to do is put down the potato chips etc." Do you really live in a place where everyone eats only natural no processed every day and everyone is an average weight? If so please let me know about it...

[Anonymous]

maybe learn to spell candidate?

this is so obviously a troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No one here said that every thin person is nessasarily healthy. What has been said, is that obese is definately unhealthy.

Reread the above.

[Anonymous]

Is she obese enough that she wouldn't be able to get on and off the floor? Could she chase the kids at the park?

If someone can't take care of themselves, how do you think they will take care of your kids?

I would also worry that she would eat garbage all day and that isn't a good example for your kids. I would want someone who exercises, eats fruit and vegetables etc.

FWIW I am a nanny who lost 80 pounds. I am a better nanny healthy than not.

[Anonymous]

I completely understand why you would want a healthy nanny. A healthy nanny can be more active w/your kids and will also most likely encourage eating healthy foods, etc.

As a parent, if I had a choice between a healthy nanny and one w/weight issues, I would choose the healthier one.

However, if the obese nanny had a great disposition, excellent references + my children liked her, by all means, I would take her.

Most obese people however, have less energy and more health problems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:maybe learn to spell candidate?

this is so obviously a troll.

I apologize and admit I didn't use spell check. I'm sure you've spelt a word wrong so being a hypocrite doesn't shine you in the best light.

[Anonymous]

I apologize to anyone who took offence to my original post. I wasn't trying to disrespect or look down on overweight people. I should have worded it differently.

Yes, you're right, being thin doesn't guarantee that the person will be healthy however, being overweight isn't the example I want set for my children. I don't believe the nanny had thyroid issues but I'm not completely sure. My children are young and very energetic and I need someone with the motivation to keep up. Yes, she could have been energetic and I'm not ruling that out but again, I'd rather not waste my time taking chances.

I also want someone who will practice healthy eating in front of my kids.

Anyways, I did contact the other nanny and she is still available so I'm thinking about setting up an interview and seeing where it goes.

Thank you to those who offered valuable advice and answered my question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is she obese enough that she wouldn't be able to get on and off the floor? Could she chase the kids at the park?

If someone can't take care of themselves, how do you think they will take care of your kids?

I would also worry that she would eat garbage all day and that isn't a good example for your kids. I would want someone who exercises, eats fruit and vegetables etc.

FWIW I am a nanny who lost 80 pounds. I am a better nanny healthy than not.

I just reponded before even reading you comment and yes, those were some of my main concerns. Glad to see I'm not the only one. Thank you for the comment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I completely understand why you would want a healthy nanny. A healthy nanny can be more active w/your kids and will also most likely encourage eating healthy foods, etc.

As a parent, if I had a choice between a healthy nanny and one w/weight issues, I would choose the healthier one.

However, if the obese nanny had a great disposition, excellent references + my children liked her, by all means, I would take her.

Most obese people however, have less energy and more health problems.

Hi, thank you for your response. Yes you're absoloutely right. I responded back to everyone prior to seeing your comment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I apologize to anyone who took offence to my original post. I wasn't trying to disrespect or look down on overweight people. I should have worded it differently.

Yes, you're right, being thin doesn't guarantee that the person will be healthy however, being overweight isn't the example I want set for my children. I don't believe the nanny had thyroid issues but I'm not completely sure. My children are young and very energetic and I need someone with the motivation to keep up. Yes, she could have been energetic and I'm not ruling that out but again, I'd rather not waste my time taking chances.

I also want someone who will practice healthy eating in front of my kids.

Anyways, I did contact the other nanny and she is still available so I'm thinking about setting up an interview and seeing where it goes.

Thank you to those who offered valuable advice and answered my question.

Did you ask her what she eats on a daily basis? Again, you're assumptions are what's offensive. Not every overweight individual pigs out all day. I hope you're not modeling this same close-mindedness to your children. That's more concerning than anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I apologize to anyone who took offence to my original post. I wasn't trying to disrespect or look down on overweight people. I should have worded it differently.

Yes, you're right, being thin doesn't guarantee that the person will be healthy however, being overweight isn't the example I want set for my children. I don't believe the nanny had thyroid issues but I'm not completely sure. My children are young and very energetic and I need someone with the motivation to keep up. Yes, she could have been energetic and I'm not ruling that out but again, I'd rather not waste my time taking chances.

I also want someone who will practice healthy eating in front of my kids.

Anyways, I did contact the other nanny and she is still available so I'm thinking about setting up an interview and seeing where it goes.

Thank you to those who offered valuable advice and answered my question.

Did you ask her what she eats on a daily basis? Again, you're assumptions are what's offensive. Not every overweight individual pigs out all day. I hope you're not modeling this same close-mindedness to your children. That's more concerning than anything.

Your*

[Anonymous]

It looks like most obese nannies are in denial. It's one thing to have a problem, and it's another problem if we are in complete denial of it.