Politely declined potential nanny due to her size

[Anonymous]

So you love everything about her except her weight?? If you're that small minded then please don't hire her. I hope she is hired by a family who won't judge her based on her physical appearance. In fact, when you call your runner up, please tell her the reason you didn't hire your first choice. It will give her the chance to see the type of person you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:An obese person does not have a "good health" doctor's assessment, no matter what the cause.

But that doesn't mean as an obese person I have worse health than a skinny person who eats junk all day has. At 190 lbs, I'm considered obese, however my blood draws are flawless. Of course I've got risk factors due to extra weight for things in the future. But I eat only the healthiest and most natural foods. My friend who's the same height as I am and is 145 lbs is constantly sick, has liver problems, and her bloodwork is always abnormal. She eats junk and drinks alcohol on the daily. Now which one of us is more likely to have a heart attack at any second? Her, by far. We know that by what doctors have said to each of us about our health. Not by some stupid calculator on the computer or by your skewed view of what a healthy person is. I'd hope you wouldn't hire because of weight for the very example I listed above because I know many just like this. And if you're hiring decision takes weight (without asking about health to the person themselves) then you're missing out on some really great nannies and people!

[Anonymous]

Wanting a relatively healthy person to take care of your kid is not asking to much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wanting a relatively healthy person to take care of your kid is not asking to much.

But skinny doesn't automatically mean healthy. Unless you're sending them for a physical before hiring them I'm not sure how you determine someone is healthy simply by looking at them. I am about 50 lbs overweight. Am I as healthy as I could be? No. But I have been an excellent, active nanny for the same family for 3 years. I'm so glad they didn't judge me based on my weight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wanting a relatively healthy person to take care of your kid is not asking to much.

How do you know that a person of average weight is "healthy"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wanting a relatively healthy person to take care of your kid is not asking to much.

But skinny doesn't automatically mean healthy. Unless you're sending them for a physical before hiring them I'm not sure how you determine someone is healthy simply by looking at them. I am about 50 lbs overweight. Am I as healthy as I could be? No. But I have been an excellent, active nanny for the same family for 3 years. I'm so glad they didn't judge me based on my weight.

I'm one of the pp's who has a similar story. You just said it short and sweet how I would!

[Anonymous]

I don't know what to say OP. In a formal workplace what you're describing is legally actionable.

As an mother, to find someone who you thought was so fantastic and then reject them based on your judgment of their weight is astonishing to me.

I'm an MB. I have twins. I have an older nanny. Neither of us is anywhere near as slender as we'd like to be. We're both fantastic caregivers for the twins and she is more than able to keep up with twin toddlers.

Anyone could make all sorts of snap judgments about either of us based solely on appearance or age or attire, but that tells them nothing about our capabilities.

You apparently knew virtually everything you felt you needed to know about your candidates capabilities but when you saw her you instantly changed your mind.

I'm just so horrified by the picture you've painted in your posting, and by the poor nanny who is without legal resource (or a job!), that I'm at a loss to say anything helpful.

Please think about what your are teaching your children re appearance. It's a tough world out there and lots of people who appear less than perfect on the surface (in your estimation) may, in fact, be fantastic resources.

I wish the rejected candidate luck.

[Anonymous]

It's OP's choice who she chooses for her kids' caregiver and if the candidate truly did use a picture that was misleading, then what else is she hiding?

Now, I myself used to be obese and have finally went into the overeight column and still working on getting to a healthy weight. Truth be told, my energy compared to about a year ago when I weighed 50 lbs more is so much better. I feel like I can interact more and do so much more as far as physical activity and the like with my charges.

While I would wish that my weight wouldn't be a factor in the hiring process, I know myself that if I had a child, I wouldn't hire a nanny who used to be my original weight. Just being honest.

[Anonymous]

So, OP, did you really start this thread to cause trouble about your prejudice against an overweight nanny? Or are you serious when you say your question is about whether you can contact your second choice nanny?

Because the answer to the question you say you're asking is simple. Of course you can contact your second choice nanny. That's how it works.

If you want some validation for your prejudices, I'm not going to help you there. I think you're ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Thank you, pp, for your honesty. Honesty is always the first step in making a change. For people saying that 'it's not my fault', or whatever, you are in denial. You need to get whatever help you need, to say 'this is where I've gone down the wrong path, and this is how I can change that'.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thank you, pp, for your honesty. Honesty is always the first step in making a change. For people saying that 'it's not my fault', or whatever, you are in denial. You need to get whatever help you need, to say 'this is where I've gone down the wrong path, and this is how I can change that'.

I am thanking 11:05 for her complete honesty. It's refreshing.

[Anonymous]

I just find it funny that so many people believe thin equal healthy. I used to be quite thin (underweight but in the way that people seem to want to be these days) and was incredibly unhealthy. I had an eating disorder that I hid well, would have dizzy spells, headaches, heart palpitations and anxiety. SO unhealthy and it would have been dangerous for me to be in sole care of children. At times, I could barely go up and down stairs without feeling dizzy. Now, 6 months post baby and I'm probably about 5-10 pounds overweight still (got to a healthy weight and healthy eating habits to get pregnant thankfully) and I"m the healthiest I've ever been. I have more energy than I had when I was skinnier, I feel better, I'm happier...etc.

[Anonymous]

No one here said that every thin person is nessasarily healthy. What has been said, is that obese is definately unhealthy.

[Anonymous]

Shame on you OP. your "question" is stupid and straightforward. Of course you can call back choice number 2, if this was real you wouldn't need us to tell you that. You are trying to start a fight, and you're really very sad.

[Anonymous]

Why the pc crap? If you are overweight or obese, you absolutely have a bigger chance of having health complication than if you are a 'healthy weight'. Why are we so scared to voice this???