Nanny questioning how we spend our money

[Anonymous]

Our nanny ask for a raise a couple weeks back after her two year anniversary with us. At the time I told her we didn't have the money to increase her pay. Everything was fine as far as I could tell. But Friday DH came home with a new car, which we have been planning for for a while now since his old car was getting annoying and minor things kept failing. But now that our nanny saw the new car she has been standoffish and she even mentioned it in a snarky way when she left Friday. I can't convey the tone but basically she said "I see you guys got a new car, I'm glad you had the budget for that."

I don't know how to smooth things over with her without just telling her to mind her own business. Anyone have any advice? I know it's going to only get worse unless I address it because as soon as the kids get out of school we are going to go to Jamaica with the kids and I haven't told her we won't need her that week.

Please help.

[Anonymous]

Sorry, MB, you deserve this treatment. You bought a new car and are taking the family to Jamaica -- then crying poor to your nanny on why you can't give her a raise?!

It is so outrageous that I fear you are a troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, MB, you deserve this treatment. You bought a new car and are taking the family to Jamaica -- then crying poor to your nanny on why you can't give her a raise?!

It is so outrageous that I fear you are a troll.

I get it, but again these are things we have planned for and budgeted for... for the whole year. It is our summertime family vacation. And I explained the car already above, DH had the same car for over 7 years, it was time for a new one. I'm not trying to say this is our 3rd vacation this year and DH is replacing a 2012 BMW with a 2014.... Either way it's not really the nannies business IMO. I'm sorry you do not agree. Is there anything you feel we ARE allowed to buy before we submit to nannies request for a raise? Sheesh.

[Anonymous]

I'd fire her to be honest. There are some people who simply lack the critical thinking skills to understand that people budget.

In my family we budget three YEARS in advance, including buffers for emergencies. If a nanny asked for a raise (well first of all we'd have budgeted that in) we would have to say no in the immediate, and couldn't work it into the budget for another six months.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd fire her to be honest. There are some people who simply lack the critical thinking skills to understand that people budget.

In my family we budget three YEARS in advance, including buffers for emergencies. If a nanny asked for a raise (well first of all we'd have budgeted that in) we would have to say no in the immediate, and couldn't work it into the budget for another six months.

Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, MB, you deserve this treatment. You bought a new car and are taking the family to Jamaica -- then crying poor to your nanny on why you can't give her a raise?!

It is so outrageous that I fear you are a troll.

I get it, but again these are things we have planned for and budgeted for... for the whole year. It is our summertime family vacation. And I explained the car already above, DH had the same car for over 7 years, it was time for a new one. I'm not trying to say this is our 3rd vacation this year and DH is replacing a 2012 BMW with a 2014.... Either way it's not really the nannies business IMO. I'm sorry you do not agree. Is there anything you feel we ARE allowed to buy before we submit to nannies request for a raise? Sheesh.

NP here: You made your priorities clear to your nanny (the woman who cares for your children) and chose a week in Jamaica over her. She has a right to be disappointed in you. You made your finances the nanny's business when you declined her request for a raise based on your limited finances. I'm sorry you can't see that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd fire her to be honest. There are some people who simply lack the critical thinking skills to understand that people budget.

In my family we budget three YEARS in advance, including buffers for emergencies. If a nanny asked for a raise (well first of all we'd have budgeted that in) we would have to say no in the immediate, and couldn't work it into the budget for another six months.

A raise for your nanny after TWO YEARS should have been in your budget. Period.

[Anonymous]

I agree with the PPs above - you made your priorities clear to your nanny and should have budgeted for an increase in her salary after two years!


It's women like you who give MBs a bad name.

[Anonymous]

MB here. I hope you are paying your nanny for the week you will be in Jamaica.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree with the PPs above - you made your priorities clear to your nanny and should have budgeted for an increase in her salary after two years!


It's women like you who give MBs a bad name.

OP here, let me clarify for all the harpies who are adding their own assumptions to my post. Nanny has received a raise during our 2 years, she just took the timing of this anniversary to ask for another. We have budgeted our nannies salary and raises and we don't feel it is time for another at this point in time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with the PPs above - you made your priorities clear to your nanny and should have budgeted for an increase in her salary after two years!


It's women like you who give MBs a bad name.

OP here, let me clarify for all the harpies who are adding their own assumptions to my post. Nanny has received a raise during our 2 years, she just took the timing of this anniversary to ask for another. We have budgeted our nannies salary and raises and we don't feel it is time for another at this point in time.[/quote
When was her last raise?
A yearly anniversary is the most common time for a raise?
I would absolutely feel as angry as your nanny.
A 2 year old car should not be having problems.
In her mind, your new BMW and vacation to Jamaica trump your appreciation offer hard work.
Are you paying her when you go to Jamaica?
Why don't you feel that this is the time or a raise?
Is it because of these two extravagant purchases?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with the PPs above - you made your priorities clear to your nanny and should have budgeted for an increase in her salary after two years!


It's women like you who give MBs a bad name.

OP here, let me clarify for all the harpies who are adding their own assumptions to my post. Nanny has received a raise during our 2 years, she just took the timing of this anniversary to ask for another. We have budgeted our nannies salary and raises and we don't feel it is time for another at this point in time.

When was her last raise?
A yearly anniversary is the most common time for a raise.
I would absolutely feel as angry as your nanny.
A 2 year old car should not be having problems.
In her mind, your new BMW and vacation to Jamaica trump your appreciation of her hard work.
Are you paying her when you go to Jamaica?
Why don't you feel that this is the time or a raise?
Is it because of these two extravagant purchases?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MB here. I hope you are paying your nanny for the week you will be in Jamaica.

No. We will not be using her services that week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MB here. I hope you are paying your nanny for the week you will be in Jamaica.

No. We will not be using her services that week.

If I was your nanny, I would be looking for another job.

not a nanny

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MB here. I hope you are paying your nanny for the week you will be in Jamaica.

No. We will not be using her services that week.

I hope she quits with no notice. You sound dreadful.
School lets out in a week or two (at the most) and you haven't given her notice thy she won't be paid for a week?
I hope your 2014 BMW breaks down and you get stung by a jellyfish in Jamaica.