Nanny questioning how we spend our money

[Anonymous]

Wow, OP I'm sorry for the vitriol you're getting. Perhaps if you could give us some additional information?

You've said your nanny has worked for you for 2 years now - has she had a raise at any point in the past 2 year?

Also, have you considered looking at other compensation methods to increase her overall employment "package". If you can't afford to give her a raise on her hourly rate could you perhaps offer an additional stipend for healthcare (which is not taxable) or 2-3 additional days of vacation or personal time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, OP I'm sorry for the vitriol you're getting. Perhaps if you could give us some additional information?

You've said your nanny has worked for you for 2 years now - has she had a raise at any point in the past 2 year?

Also, have you considered looking at other compensation methods to increase her overall employment "package". If you can't afford to give her a raise on her hourly rate could you perhaps offer an additional stipend for healthcare (which is not taxable) or 2-3 additional days of vacation or personal time?

I have answered a couple time, and people have either made things up (such as the no raise, I only said the nanny asked for a raise on her two year anniversary, I never said I have never given her one) or misunderstood (like when I said DHs car was 7 years only and its not like we were replacing a 2012 BMW with a 2014. We do not have a BMW and the car needed to be replaced.)

So yes, she did have a raise about 6 months in, and then again 3 months after her 1 year mark. So now 9 months later she is asking for more. We have not looked at other compensation options but tbh I don't think she deserves a new raise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, OP I'm sorry for the vitriol you're getting. Perhaps if you could give us some additional information?

You've said your nanny has worked for you for 2 years now - has she had a raise at any point in the past 2 year?

Also, have you considered looking at other compensation methods to increase her overall employment "package". If you can't afford to give her a raise on her hourly rate could you perhaps offer an additional stipend for healthcare (which is not taxable) or 2-3 additional days of vacation or personal time?

I have answered a couple time, and people have either made things up (such as the no raise, I only said the nanny asked for a raise on her two year anniversary, I never said I have never given her one) or misunderstood (like when I said DHs car was 7 years only and its not like we were replacing a 2012 BMW with a 2014. We do not have a BMW and the car needed to be replaced.)

So yes, she did have a raise about 6 months in, and then again 3 months after her 1 year mark. So now 9 months later she is asking for more. We have not looked at other compensation options but tbh I don't think she deserves a new raise.

OP, you're fine. People skim quickly instead of reading. *I* knew you replaced a 7 yr old car with a non-BMW. As I said, I think you should fire her. Here's why: since she asked for a raise you now know she wants more money. If she can't get it from you she'll get it from someone else. Either you fire her or she quits on you. You may as well be the one in control.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MB here. I hope you are paying your nanny for the week you will be in Jamaica.

No. We will not be using her services that week.

She's not an Independent Contractor, she is your employee. It is unforgivable not to offer guaranteed hours to a FT nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, OP I'm sorry for the vitriol you're getting. Perhaps if you could give us some additional information?

You've said your nanny has worked for you for 2 years now - has she had a raise at any point in the past 2 year?

Also, have you considered looking at other compensation methods to increase her overall employment "package". If you can't afford to give her a raise on her hourly rate could you perhaps offer an additional stipend for healthcare (which is not taxable) or 2-3 additional days of vacation or personal time?

I have answered a couple time, and people have either made things up (such as the no raise, I only said the nanny asked for a raise on her two year anniversary, I never said I have never given her one) or misunderstood (like when I said DHs car was 7 years only and its not like we were replacing a 2012 BMW with a 2014. We do not have a BMW and the car needed to be replaced.)

So yes, she did have a raise about 6 months in, and then again 3 months after her 1 year mark. So now 9 months later she is asking for more. We have not looked at other compensation options but tbh I don't think she deserves a new raise.

OP, you're fine. People skim quickly instead of reading. *I* knew you replaced a 7 yr old car with a non-BMW. As I said, I think you should fire her. Here's why: since she asked for a raise you now know she wants more money. If she can't get it from you she'll get it from someone else. Either you fire her or she quits on you. You may as well be the one in control.

Thank you. Althrough I agree I don't know if she would go through the hassle of finding a new family just for a small bit more per hour. It's not like she asked for a $5/hr raise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, OP I'm sorry for the vitriol you're getting. Perhaps if you could give us some additional information?

You've said your nanny has worked for you for 2 years now - has she had a raise at any point in the past 2 year?

Also, have you considered looking at other compensation methods to increase her overall employment "package". If you can't afford to give her a raise on her hourly rate could you perhaps offer an additional stipend for healthcare (which is not taxable) or 2-3 additional days of vacation or personal time?

I have answered a couple time, and people have either made things up (such as the no raise, I only said the nanny asked for a raise on her two year anniversary, I never said I have never given her one) or misunderstood (like when I said DHs car was 7 years only and its not like we were replacing a 2012 BMW with a 2014. We do not have a BMW and the car needed to be replaced.)

So yes, she did have a raise about 6 months in, and then again 3 months after her 1 year mark. So now 9 months later she is asking for more. We have not looked at other compensation options but tbh I don't think she deserves a new raise.

Then this is what you should have said to her, not, "We don't have the money for it." Why didn't you just tell her that you would consider a raise in x months, given that she had received a raise only 9 months prior? I think that's something she would have understood, and then maybe she would have seen the car and the trip as evidence that you would actually be able to afford it when the time came.

That said, I think it's awful that she won't be paid the week you're away. MB here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, OP I'm sorry for the vitriol you're getting. Perhaps if you could give us some additional information?

You've said your nanny has worked for you for 2 years now - has she had a raise at any point in the past 2 year?

Also, have you considered looking at other compensation methods to increase her overall employment "package". If you can't afford to give her a raise on her hourly rate could you perhaps offer an additional stipend for healthcare (which is not taxable) or 2-3 additional days of vacation or personal time?

I have answered a couple time, and people have either made things up (such as the no raise, I only said the nanny asked for a raise on her two year anniversary, I never said I have never given her one) or misunderstood (like when I said DHs car was 7 years only and its not like we were replacing a 2012 BMW with a 2014. We do not have a BMW and the car needed to be replaced.)

So yes, she did have a raise about 6 months in, and then again 3 months after her 1 year mark. So now 9 months later she is asking for more. We have not looked at other compensation options but tbh I don't think she deserves a new raise.

Then this is what you should have said to her, not, "We don't have the money for it." Why didn't you just tell her that you would consider a raise in x months, given that she had received a raise only 9 months prior? I think that's something she would have understood, and then maybe she would have seen the car and the trip as evidence that you would actually be able to afford it when the time came.

That said, I think it's awful that she won't be paid the week you're away. MB here.

She could always ask to use her PTO while we are gone if she really was in need of the money. She hasn't taken a day off for sickness or personal since the beginning of this year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, OP I'm sorry for the vitriol you're getting. Perhaps if you could give us some additional information?

You've said your nanny has worked for you for 2 years now - has she had a raise at any point in the past 2 year?

Also, have you considered looking at other compensation methods to increase her overall employment "package". If you can't afford to give her a raise on her hourly rate could you perhaps offer an additional stipend for healthcare (which is not taxable) or 2-3 additional days of vacation or personal time?

I have answered a couple time, and people have either made things up (such as the no raise, I only said the nanny asked for a raise on her two year anniversary, I never said I have never given her one) or misunderstood (like when I said DHs car was 7 years only and its not like we were replacing a 2012 BMW with a 2014. We do not have a BMW and the car needed to be replaced.)

So yes, she did have a raise about 6 months in, and then again 3 months after her 1 year mark. So now 9 months later she is asking for more. We have not looked at other compensation options but tbh I don't think she deserves a new raise.

Then this is what you should have said to her, not, "We don't have the money for it." Why didn't you just tell her that you would consider a raise in x months, given that she had received a raise only 9 months prior? I think that's something she would have understood, and then maybe she would have seen the car and the trip as evidence that you would actually be able to afford it when the time came.

That said, I think it's awful that she won't be paid the week you're away. MB here.

She could always ask to use her PTO while we are gone if she really was in need of the money. She hasn't taken a day off for sickness or personal since the beginning of this year.

Wow OP. You sound like a real winner. Use her PTO? What if she had been planning her own summer vacation for two weeks later? You should pay her for the weeks you are away, of give her other child related tasks for that week and pay her. It also sounds as if you haven't even told her about the trip and the disruption of her income in the next few weeks. I'll be surprised if you have a nanny when you return.

[Anonymous]

Finding out you are taking a vacation very soon, without paying me would drive me over the edge. Your nanny is going to despise you.

[Anonymous]

OP, you didn't mention in your initial post that you had already given your nanny two previous raises, so I am a little iffy on if you really did. Seems to me as if you are simply saving face now so you do not look bad. I see this a lot on DCUrbanMomsandDads. People give out other details later on, etc. to make their stories look better.

I think she worked for you for 2 years and you have never given her a raise and then you had the audacity to purchase a new car, are going to take a luxurious out of the country vacation to Jamaica and to top it all off...are going to dock her pay for a whole week.

Can you at least take her with you to Jamaica so she can at least work on her tan??

[Anonymous]

you don't sound like a very good employer. Sorry OP. You can't tell someone you can't afford (or didn't budget) a raise and then go out and buy a new car, a trip to Jamaica and not even pay her for the hours you are electing not to use her. She reserved her time for you and no one else. If you chose not to use it, the time is still reserved for YOU and you need to pay her for it, ESPECIALLY since you're not giving her ample (months) notice to prepare for it and either save money she might spend on something else or line something else up, or plan a trip of her own. You seem morally bankrupt to me.

[Anonymous]

OP there are just too many issues here to feel sympathetic for you. Ra isles are given after a certain period of service to account for cost of living increases or after a change in circumstances such a a new baby, family moves an hour away and nanny has to travel, etc. However, you seem to have some a arbitrary standard, whether you feel you can afford it, rather than a clear, and objective plan that is easily understood by all parties.

If you have not told her of this vacation then you are putting her in a terrible position. You don't get to decide what she uses her PTO for. What happens if she has an emergency at a later date? Or even routine appointments?

Perhaps you simply cannot afford to have a nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:you don't sound like a very good employer. Sorry OP. You can't tell someone you can't afford (or didn't budget) a raise and then go out and buy a new car, a trip to Jamaica and not even pay her for the hours you are electing not to use her. She reserved her time for you and no one else. If you chose not to use it, the time is still reserved for YOU and you need to pay her for it, ESPECIALLY since you're not giving her ample (months) notice to prepare for it and either save money she might spend on something else or line something else up, or plan a trip of her own. You seem morally bankrupt to me.

You know nothing about our family or our arrangement with our nanny. Theres other nannies making $10/hr and gift cards that are perfectly happy so I promise you my nanny is more than content. She just is greedy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MB here. I hope you are paying your nanny for the week you will be in Jamaica.

No. We will not be using her services that week.

Yes, she'll have a new job before you get back.
Enjoy that trip, 'cause you'll soon be nanny hunting.
GL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, OP I'm sorry for the vitriol you're getting. Perhaps if you could give us some additional information?

You've said your nanny has worked for you for 2 years now - has she had a raise at any point in the past 2 year?

Also, have you considered looking at other compensation methods to increase her overall employment "package". If you can't afford to give her a raise on her hourly rate could you perhaps offer an additional stipend for healthcare (which is not taxable) or 2-3 additional days of vacation or personal time?

I have answered a couple time, and people have either made things up (such as the no raise, I only said the nanny asked for a raise on her two year anniversary, I never said I have never given her one) or misunderstood (like when I said DHs car was 7 years only and its not like we were replacing a 2012 BMW with a 2014. We do not have a BMW and the car needed to be replaced.)

So yes, she did have a raise about 6 months in, and then again 3 months after her 1 year mark. So now 9 months later she is asking for more. We have not looked at other compensation options but tbh I don't think she deserves a new raise.

Then this is what you should have said to her, not, "We don't have the money for it." Why didn't you just tell her that you would consider a raise in x months, given that she had received a raise only 9 months prior? I think that's something she would have understood, and then maybe she would have seen the car and the trip as evidence that you would actually be able to afford it when the time came.

That said, I think it's awful that she won't be paid the week you're away. MB here.

She could always ask to use her PTO while we are gone if she really was in need of the money. She hasn't taken a day off for sickness or personal since the beginning of this year.

How exactly is she going to ask for PTO if she doesn't know you're gonna be leaving?? You should have given her more notice so she could have planned for a vacation of herself.
With that short notice, you should be paying her for the time you're not using her. It's not like she can find other work in this short amount of time.