Brazilian au pair left without notice

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. We are done with au pairs. She will be deported and banned. She was an average au pair, but a very socially awkward individual. She found another geek who has never talked to a girl who is blind and ignorant and too socially stupid to see that she is trying to scam him for a green card. What he doesn't realize is that the punishment for marriage fraud is $250,000 fine and/or 5 years in prison. Given that he does some government work, that is not going to go over well for his career. I hope she gets deported, and sent back to Brazil and never given access to enter the USA again. She will be deported.

I'm no expert, but it's not going to be a fraudulent marriage from HIS perspective. He is a geeky naive virgin who thinks he's in love. That's a good faith marriage on his end. SHE's the one who will get in trouble, not him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. We are done with au pairs. She will be deported and banned. She was an average au pair, but a very socially awkward individual. She found another geek who has never talked to a girl who is blind and ignorant and too socially stupid to see that she is trying to scam him for a green card. What he doesn't realize is that the punishment for marriage fraud is $250,000 fine and/or 5 years in prison. Given that he does some government work, that is not going to go over well for his career. I hope she gets deported, and sent back to Brazil and never given access to enter the USA again. She will be deported.

Seems to me she figured out she wasn't cool enough for you and bailed.

[Anonymous]

People making nasty comments to the OP have never been betrayed by an AP. We invest our emotions and time into these APs and when it goes like this, it hurts. So of course she's lashing out. That's normal when you're bitterly disappointed by being left by someone you care about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People making nasty comments to the OP have never been betrayed by an AP. We invest our emotions and time into these APs and when it goes like this, it hurts. So of course she's lashing out. That's normal when you're bitterly disappointed by being left by someone you care about.

how has she been betrayed?

[Anonymous]

It's betrayal because they've lived together for 16 months (with an agreement of 24 months) and she just walked out. It's okay when things don't work out, but just up and leaving people you regard as a second family without a discussion and without any notice is hurtful. I sense you're not a host family, so try to think of it from the perspective of an au pair who is thrown out with zero notice. There's something called loyalty and even when a relationship goes sour, you can leave in a manner that doesn't harm either party (eg, "host mom, I'm sorry, but I need to leave in 2 weeks." And then a proper goodbye to the kids that have grown to love AP.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People making nasty comments to the OP have never been betrayed by an AP. We invest our emotions and time into these APs and when it goes like this, it hurts. So of course she's lashing out. That's normal when you're bitterly disappointed by being left by someone you care about.

Well, maybe if OP didn't come off as such a condescending ass, people wouldn't assume her au pair had been treated equally badly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. We are done with au pairs. She will be deported and banned. She was an average au pair, but a very socially awkward individual. She found another geek who has never talked to a girl who is blind and ignorant and too socially stupid to see that she is trying to scam him for a green card. What he doesn't realize is that the punishment for marriage fraud is $250,000 fine and/or 5 years in prison. Given that he does some government work, that is not going to go over well for his career. I hope she gets deported, and sent back to Brazil and never given access to enter the USA again. She will be deported.

Orrrrr maybe she realizes that there isn't a "perfect" person in the world, or maybe they worked it out, or any number of things.

Also, he isn't going to be in trouble if she pulls one over on him. Honestly, no one probably will be as long as she isn't paying him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's betrayal because they've lived together for 16 months (with an agreement of 24 months) and she just walked out. It's okay when things don't work out, but just up and leaving people you regard as a second family without a discussion and without any notice is hurtful. I sense you're not a host family, so try to think of it from the perspective of an au pair who is thrown out with zero notice. There's something called loyalty and even when a relationship goes sour, you can leave in a manner that doesn't harm either party (eg, "host mom, I'm sorry, but I need to leave in 2 weeks." And then a proper goodbye to the kids that have grown to love AP.)

The host family must have known for some time that she was not happy, so I doubt this is a surprise to them. I get the feeling she was being taken advantage of

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. We are done with au pairs. She will be deported and banned. She was an average au pair, but a very socially awkward individual. She found another geek who has never talked to a girl who is blind and ignorant and too socially stupid to see that she is trying to scam him for a green card. What he doesn't realize is that the punishment for marriage fraud is $250,000 fine and/or 5 years in prison. Given that he does some government work, that is not going to go over well for his career. I hope she gets deported, and sent back to Brazil and never given access to enter the USA again. She will be deported.

She sure be! Have you really reported here and with whom? You say 3 times she will be deported, will she really? How does that go? Do you have her passport? Have you talked to anyone but the agency? Police? Do they know where she is, are they looking for her? I'm going through a similar situation right now, I'd love to know how I can report this little b*** and walk her a** out of this country!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. We are done with au pairs. She will be deported and banned. She was an average au pair, but a very socially awkward individual. She found another geek who has never talked to a girl who is blind and ignorant and too socially stupid to see that she is trying to scam him for a green card. What he doesn't realize is that the punishment for marriage fraud is $250,000 fine and/or 5 years in prison. Given that he does some government work, that is not going to go over well for his career. I hope she gets deported, and sent back to Brazil and never given access to enter the USA again. She will be deported.

She sure be! Have you really reported here and with whom? You say 3 times she will be deported, will she really? How does that go? Do you have her passport? Have you talked to anyone but the agency? Police? Do they know where she is, are they looking for her? I'm going through a similar situation right now, I'd love to know how I can report this little b*** and walk her a** out of this country!!

Call USCIS. Report her to the agency. Agency has to cancel her visa. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

I am an immigration lawyer and OP she's not getting deported. And she won't be found to have committed marriage fraud most likely. But the visa will be cancelled if you contact your agency. But you sound pretty nasty to be honest- I was with you until you said you hoped she'd be deported. yikes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am an immigration lawyer and OP she's not getting deported. And she won't be found to have committed marriage fraud most likely. But the visa will be cancelled if you contact your agency. But you sound pretty nasty to be honest- I was with you until you said you hoped she'd be deported. yikes.

oh shut up

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Last Tuesday, my au pair of 16 months (we had successfully completed the first year and we were 4 months into her 2nd year) up and left without notice. It all started a few days prior when she came home late on a Sunday night and woke up everyone in the house. I was awake and when she woke up my husband (and our 3 years old and 2 years old boys), I had sent her a text letting her know that she was late and that it should not happen again. She proceeded the next morning by confronting my husband about this as he was trying to leave to go to work. I came home that Monday and asked her to speak with me about what happened. She sent me a long text about how she no longer could work weekends because it was inconvenient for her. She wanted to spend more time with her boyfriend even though she had previously told us (on multiple occassions) that she didn't like him and that he was not her type, and she was "trying to change him." Basically, this guy is being tricked by her. She is marrying him for a green card. She is being pressured by her mother to marry him for a green card too. And she is only 20 years old (turned 20 in January). And he is oblivious--this is most likely (99% sure) his first girlfriend. He is buying her all kinds of expensive gifts like diamond necklaces, earrings, purses, concert tickets, etc.

We had, what I thought was a good discussion on Monday. We spoke about how we could improve our relationship. But, she didn't join us for dinner that day. And on Tuesday morning, she told me that she no longer wanted to be an au pair and that she wanted to leave. Then, on Tuesday evening, she left. All of her things were apparently all packed (she must have packed them during the day while she was supposed to be watching my two kids). She is now trying to stay in this country illegally--she is trying to marry this guy who she does not even like so that she could have a green card.

Just needed to vent.

Very odd that you would dictate what time she comes home on her non working days. You also need to get a better house setup if someone coming in will wake everyone up. We have a nanny suite with a separate entrance and our nanny can come and go whenever she wants as long as her work hours aren't affected. YOU ARE WAY OVER the top. I suggest you stop micro managing aspects that are none of your business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Last Tuesday, my au pair of 16 months (we had successfully completed the first year and we were 4 months into her 2nd year) up and left without notice. It all started a few days prior when she came home late on a Sunday night and woke up everyone in the house. I was awake and when she woke up my husband (and our 3 years old and 2 years old boys), I had sent her a text letting her know that she was late and that it should not happen again. She proceeded the next morning by confronting my husband about this as he was trying to leave to go to work. I came home that Monday and asked her to speak with me about what happened. She sent me a long text about how she no longer could work weekends because it was inconvenient for her. She wanted to spend more time with her boyfriend even though she had previously told us (on multiple occassions) that she didn't like him and that he was not her type, and she was "trying to change him." Basically, this guy is being tricked by her. She is marrying him for a green card. She is being pressured by her mother to marry him for a green card too. And she is only 20 years old (turned 20 in January). And he is oblivious--this is most likely (99% sure) his first girlfriend. He is buying her all kinds of expensive gifts like diamond necklaces, earrings, purses, concert tickets, etc.

We had, what I thought was a good discussion on Monday. We spoke about how we could improve our relationship. But, she didn't join us for dinner that day. And on Tuesday morning, she told me that she no longer wanted to be an au pair and that she wanted to leave. Then, on Tuesday evening, she left. All of her things were apparently all packed (she must have packed them during the day while she was supposed to be watching my two kids). She is now trying to stay in this country illegally--she is trying to marry this guy who she does not even like so that she could have a green card.

Just needed to vent.

Very odd that you would dictate what time she comes home on her non working days. You also need to get a better house setup if someone coming in will wake everyone up. We have a nanny suite with a separate entrance and our nanny can come and go whenever she wants as long as her work hours aren't affected. YOU ARE WAY OVER the top. I suggest you stop micro managing aspects that are none of your business.

Yeah, OP you should probably consider moving to a new home with a basement suite or hire a contractor to build you an addition on your current home if you want to have an AP. (note: major sarcasm).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Last Tuesday, my au pair of 16 months (we had successfully completed the first year and we were 4 months into her 2nd year) up and left without notice. It all started a few days prior when she came home late on a Sunday night and woke up everyone in the house. I was awake and when she woke up my husband (and our 3 years old and 2 years old boys), I had sent her a text letting her know that she was late and that it should not happen again. She proceeded the next morning by confronting my husband about this as he was trying to leave to go to work. I came home that Monday and asked her to speak with me about what happened. She sent me a long text about how she no longer could work weekends because it was inconvenient for her. She wanted to spend more time with her boyfriend even though she had previously told us (on multiple occassions) that she didn't like him and that he was not her type, and she was "trying to change him." Basically, this guy is being tricked by her. She is marrying him for a green card. She is being pressured by her mother to marry him for a green card too. And she is only 20 years old (turned 20 in January). And he is oblivious--this is most likely (99% sure) his first girlfriend. He is buying her all kinds of expensive gifts like diamond necklaces, earrings, purses, concert tickets, etc.

We had, what I thought was a good discussion on Monday. We spoke about how we could improve our relationship. But, she didn't join us for dinner that day. And on Tuesday morning, she told me that she no longer wanted to be an au pair and that she wanted to leave. Then, on Tuesday evening, she left. All of her things were apparently all packed (she must have packed them during the day while she was supposed to be watching my two kids). She is now trying to stay in this country illegally--she is trying to marry this guy who she does not even like so that she could have a green card.

Just needed to vent.

Very odd that you would dictate what time she comes home on her non working days. You also need to get a better house setup if someone coming in will wake everyone up. We have a nanny suite with a separate entrance and our nanny can come and go whenever she wants as long as her work hours aren't affected. YOU ARE WAY OVER the top. I suggest you stop micro managing aspects that are none of your business.

Yeah, OP you should probably consider moving to a new home with a basement suite or hire a contractor to build you an addition on your current home if you want to have an AP. (note: major sarcasm).

Why is that sarcasm. Living in an uncomfortable situation isn't good for anyone. If you want to have a live in nanny or au-pair, you better damn well be setup for one. I didn't realize people would live in such a terrible arrangement. I guess I should advertise that in our home situation? When we built our house we made a nanny suite (20 x 20) with it's own full bath and a separate entrance.