Brazilian au pair left without notice

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Last Tuesday, my au pair of 16 months (we had successfully completed the first year and we were 4 months into her 2nd year) up and left without notice. It all started a few days prior when she came home late on a Sunday night and woke up everyone in the house. I was awake and when she woke up my husband (and our 3 years old and 2 years old boys), I had sent her a text letting her know that she was late and that it should not happen again. She proceeded the next morning by confronting my husband about this as he was trying to leave to go to work. I came home that Monday and asked her to speak with me about what happened. She sent me a long text about how she no longer could work weekends because it was inconvenient for her. She wanted to spend more time with her boyfriend even though she had previously told us (on multiple occassions) that she didn't like him and that he was not her type, and she was "trying to change him." Basically, this guy is being tricked by her. She is marrying him for a green card. She is being pressured by her mother to marry him for a green card too. And she is only 20 years old (turned 20 in January). And he is oblivious--this is most likely (99% sure) his first girlfriend. He is buying her all kinds of expensive gifts like diamond necklaces, earrings, purses, concert tickets, etc.

We had, what I thought was a good discussion on Monday. We spoke about how we could improve our relationship. But, she didn't join us for dinner that day. And on Tuesday morning, she told me that she no longer wanted to be an au pair and that she wanted to leave. Then, on Tuesday evening, she left. All of her things were apparently all packed (she must have packed them during the day while she was supposed to be watching my two kids). She is now trying to stay in this country illegally--she is trying to marry this guy who she does not even like so that she could have a green card.

Just needed to vent.

Happened to us too with our Brazilian aupair. Focused on greencard and not on being an aupair. Hire an aupair from Europe who isn't running from a country with zero job prospects and poverty.

European aps are just as entitled, if not more

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Last Tuesday, my au pair of 16 months (we had successfully completed the first year and we were 4 months into her 2nd year) up and left without notice. It all started a few days prior when she came home late on a Sunday night and woke up everyone in the house. I was awake and when she woke up my husband (and our 3 years old and 2 years old boys), I had sent her a text letting her know that she was late and that it should not happen again. She proceeded the next morning by confronting my husband about this as he was trying to leave to go to work. I came home that Monday and asked her to speak with me about what happened. She sent me a long text about how she no longer could work weekends because it was inconvenient for her. She wanted to spend more time with her boyfriend even though she had previously told us (on multiple occassions) that she didn't like him and that he was not her type, and she was "trying to change him." Basically, this guy is being tricked by her. She is marrying him for a green card. She is being pressured by her mother to marry him for a green card too. And she is only 20 years old (turned 20 in January). And he is oblivious--this is most likely (99% sure) his first girlfriend. He is buying her all kinds of expensive gifts like diamond necklaces, earrings, purses, concert tickets, etc.

We had, what I thought was a good discussion on Monday. We spoke about how we could improve our relationship. But, she didn't join us for dinner that day. And on Tuesday morning, she told me that she no longer wanted to be an au pair and that she wanted to leave. Then, on Tuesday evening, she left. All of her things were apparently all packed (she must have packed them during the day while she was supposed to be watching my two kids). She is now trying to stay in this country illegally--she is trying to marry this guy who she does not even like so that she could have a green card.

Just needed to vent.

Happened to us too with our Brazilian aupair. Focused on greencard and not on being an aupair. Hire an aupair from Europe who isn't running from a country with zero job prospects and poverty.

European aps are just as entitled, if not more

Very old thread. They probably are but I have very strange run-ins with various Brazilians, not just Au Pairs. I just don't get their thinking. A lot of wants and needs and almost nothing in return. Cultural differences I guess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Last Tuesday, my au pair of 16 months (we had successfully completed the first year and we were 4 months into her 2nd year) up and left without notice. It all started a few days prior when she came home late on a Sunday night and woke up everyone in the house. I was awake and when she woke up my husband (and our 3 years old and 2 years old boys), I had sent her a text letting her know that she was late and that it should not happen again. She proceeded the next morning by confronting my husband about this as he was trying to leave to go to work. I came home that Monday and asked her to speak with me about what happened. She sent me a long text about how she no longer could work weekends because it was inconvenient for her. She wanted to spend more time with her boyfriend even though she had previously told us (on multiple occassions) that she didn't like him and that he was not her type, and she was "trying to change him." Basically, this guy is being tricked by her. She is marrying him for a green card. She is being pressured by her mother to marry him for a green card too. And she is only 20 years old (turned 20 in January). And he is oblivious--this is most likely (99% sure) his first girlfriend. He is buying her all kinds of expensive gifts like diamond necklaces, earrings, purses, concert tickets, etc.

We had, what I thought was a good discussion on Monday. We spoke about how we could improve our relationship. But, she didn't join us for dinner that day. And on Tuesday morning, she told me that she no longer wanted to be an au pair and that she wanted to leave. Then, on Tuesday evening, she left. All of her things were apparently all packed (she must have packed them during the day while she was supposed to be watching my two kids). She is now trying to stay in this country illegally--she is trying to marry this guy who she does not even like so that she could have a green card.

Just needed to vent.

Happened to us too with our Brazilian aupair. Focused on greencard and not on being an aupair. Hire an aupair from Europe who isn't running from a country with zero job prospects and poverty.

European aps are just as entitled, if not more

It's not about entitlement. It's about using the aupair program as a way to immigrate here and leaving a scorched earth behind them as their host family simply wanted childcare and cultural exchange.

[Anonymous]

Moder slavery

[Anonymous]

Moder slavery.
Many of the roughly 17,500 au pairs who live and work in the United States every year have positive experiences. But according to a dozen current and former au pairs as well as former au pair company employees, They relay horror stories of au pairs who are overworked, humiliated, refused meals, threatened with arrest and deportation—even victims of theft. Worst of all, they say, complaining about exploitative, unsafe working conditions rarely makes any difference. Sometimes, reporting abuse makes the situation worse.