Brazilian au pair left without notice

[Anonymous]

Last Tuesday, my au pair of 16 months (we had successfully completed the first year and we were 4 months into her 2nd year) up and left without notice. It all started a few days prior when she came home late on a Sunday night and woke up everyone in the house. I was awake and when she woke up my husband (and our 3 years old and 2 years old boys), I had sent her a text letting her know that she was late and that it should not happen again. She proceeded the next morning by confronting my husband about this as he was trying to leave to go to work. I came home that Monday and asked her to speak with me about what happened. She sent me a long text about how she no longer could work weekends because it was inconvenient for her. She wanted to spend more time with her boyfriend even though she had previously told us (on multiple occassions) that she didn't like him and that he was not her type, and she was "trying to change him." Basically, this guy is being tricked by her. She is marrying him for a green card. She is being pressured by her mother to marry him for a green card too. And she is only 20 years old (turned 20 in January). And he is oblivious--this is most likely (99% sure) his first girlfriend. He is buying her all kinds of expensive gifts like diamond necklaces, earrings, purses, concert tickets, etc.

We had, what I thought was a good discussion on Monday. We spoke about how we could improve our relationship. But, she didn't join us for dinner that day. And on Tuesday morning, she told me that she no longer wanted to be an au pair and that she wanted to leave. Then, on Tuesday evening, she left. All of her things were apparently all packed (she must have packed them during the day while she was supposed to be watching my two kids). She is now trying to stay in this country illegally--she is trying to marry this guy who she does not even like so that she could have a green card.

Just needed to vent.

[Anonymous]

Sorry OP! How frustrating. I hope you have some backup care available.

I would report her to the agency/LCC and maybe even the Dept of State.

[Anonymous]

I would sort of be glad that she left, after such drama. She sounds really immature... Although the passive aggressive text in the middle of the night? Probably not the best way to handle...
Was she that great year 1?

[Anonymous]

Yikes! Well, good riddance. Get thee a rematch AP stat!

[Anonymous]

Thanks. I was just considering matching with an in town extension AP with a boyfriend. Your situation is what I was afraid of. I'm not taking the chance.

I can't believe she did that to you and the kids when you have been together 16 months. I would expect that from a new immature AP.

[Anonymous]

I took an extension AP with an in town boyfriend. What a mistake. We are not happy. I'd recommend others against it.

Sorry, OP. Sound like you are well quit of her!

[Anonymous]

I mean you can always call USCIS and report her. I would totally do that. It doesn't matter if they are not married, they'll have them in a system. Sorry OP.

[Anonymous]

And if you contact your agency they will cancel her visa immediately.

[Anonymous]

She will have issues if she gets married and applies for a green card. They will ask if she was ever out of status and whether she completed the visa requirements. A former AP went this route. And she has a friend who arranged a marriage and ICE totally figured it out dyeing the interview.

[Anonymous]

Bye, Felicia! Don't let the door hit you on the way out!

[Anonymous]

Thanks for the support guys. If anyone has any other suggestions I am open to hearing it. Thee agency has been not so great at communicating with me since this ordeal happened. I had asked them (AuPairCare) to let me know if she planned to stay in the area (for concerns about her trying to reach out to children). They have not communicated with me about this.

I think we are done with the au pair program. I know how wider flu it can be when it works, but for us, it's too much hassle and not worth it.

[Anonymous]

That was supposed to read how "wonderful" it can be not wide flu or whatever it typed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She will have issues if she gets married and applies for a green card. They will ask if she was ever out of status and whether she completed the visa requirements. A former AP went this route. And she has a friend who arranged a marriage and ICE totally figured it out dyeing the interview.

Overstay is forgiven for marriage to a USC. Unless USCIS can prove they aren't a couple (and it sounds like they are a couple) or she has a return to country for 2 year requirement, she isn't going to have an issue, sadly.

OP, contact your agency and then find a rematch.

[Anonymous]

Op here. We are done with au pairs. She will be deported and banned. She was an average au pair, but a very socially awkward individual. She found another geek who has never talked to a girl who is blind and ignorant and too socially stupid to see that she is trying to scam him for a green card. What he doesn't realize is that the punishment for marriage fraud is $250,000 fine and/or 5 years in prison. Given that he does some government work, that is not going to go over well for his career. I hope she gets deported, and sent back to Brazil and never given access to enter the USA again. She will be deported.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. We are done with au pairs. She will be deported and banned. She was an average au pair, but a very socially awkward individual. She found another geek who has never talked to a girl who is blind and ignorant and too socially stupid to see that she is trying to scam him for a green card. What he doesn't realize is that the punishment for marriage fraud is $250,000 fine and/or 5 years in prison. Given that he does some government work, that is not going to go over well for his career. I hope she gets deported, and sent back to Brazil and never given access to enter the USA again. She will be deported.

wow
you must really hate her, yet you trusted her to care for your kids for 16 months, and even extended the 1st year
It is not unusual for women from some cultures to marry at 20, and perhaps the guy is not blind (but she is)
She probably is not out of status, as that depends on whether the au pair agency throws her out. As far as I know the agency is responsible for helping the au pairs get back home. They cannot be left stranded in host country