Nanny has a bad reference and doesn't know - WWYD?
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Anonymous
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And.... if the parent didn't have the confidence to say why they were terminating, IF the nanny called to ask if she could use her as a reference, the parent might have again not been truthful and said yes.
(Of course, all of this is supposition.....) So perhaps you could say "Your references weren't what we'd hoped - did you ask that family before giving them out as a reference? Perhaps you should speak with them." |
Anonymous
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The reference said they didn't tell the nanny why she was fired.
OP, telling the nanny that her reference wasn't what you were hoping for is the best you can do. Suggest she speak with them. You owe the other MB nothing. |
Anonymous
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Anonymous
| That mb reference is clearly a dishonest person. I'd call her out on that. Shame on her. I feel sorry for the child stuck with her. |
Anonymous
| What if what the other lady said was not true about the candidate. How do you know and if its true why hide it they should learn from their mistakes right? I believe she deserved to know why she has not been hired. I know the story about one candidate who has worked with a family for three and a half years and when the child started preschool they couldn't afford to keep her. They were not sure if they should have let her go or not so they offered her a couple hours only per week but she needed more. She was very honest and open with them and told them that she needed more hours. She was a great candidate with wonderful references in the past. When she started looking for another family she gave the previous family's number as a reference. About five different families told her that they tried to contact the reference number she gave and no one would answer but when they got a hold of the reference the lady character assassinated the candidates job meaning she gave the candidate a bad reputation for all the good work she did. |
Anonymous
| This is how MBs screw themselves... |
Anonymous
| Has everyone here read the Essential Procedures thread? |
Anonymous
| [quote=Anonymous]What if what the other lady said was not true about the candidate. How do you know and if its true why hide it they should learn from their mistakes right? I believe she deserved to know why she has not been hired. I know the story about one candidate who has worked with a family for three and a half years and when the child started preschool they couldn't afford to keep her. They were not sure if they should have let her go or not so they offered her a couple hours only per week but she needed more. She was very honest and open with them and told them that she needed more hours. She was a great candidate with wonderful references in the past. When she started looking for another family she gave the previous family's number as a reference. About five different families told her that they tried to contact the reference number she gave and no one would answer but when they got a hold of the reference the lady character assassinated the candidates job meaning she gave the candidate a bad reputation for all the good work she did.[/quote] |
Anonymous
You really think potential employers take a types sheet of paper seriously and don't pick up the phone? |
Anonymous
| You hired someone else. Just move on. You sound like you want to relive middle school or something. |
Anonymous
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Yes, I would suggest that it would probably be best to just stay out of it.
I can see your point in that you want to help this nanny out + that by letting her know that this reference is not going to help her and instead will hurt her. However, it is best to let this nanny figure things out on her own and just go ahead and enjoy the nanny you have now. |
Anonymous
| I'd be more loyal to the person I met face to face and interacted with than the one who I only talked to on the phone and didn't see shifty eyes and body language. |
Anonymous
Ok, imagine this: you're interviewing a nanny candidate who makes a great first impression. She gives you her resume and a letter of reference (or two), along with the names and numbers of her references. You read the letter, dated 06/2014, and find it to be a glowing report. Upon calling the reference you hear a different story - she was never on time (the letter referenced her punctuality), didn't mesh well with your family (she'd been there three years), and various other complaints. Now you're probably wondering if that person actually wrote the reference letter, right? So you ask. "Nanny has asked us for quarterly written reviews or references, is that something you provided to her?" "Well, yes. We wrote them for her every June and every December..." Ok, so now you know the MB was very happy with the nanny when she wrote that reference and is very unhappy with her now. "I really appreciate the time you've taken to fill me in on Nanny, I just have to ask before I go - did something happen between June and now that you'd be comfortable sharing? Your most recent written reference doesn't seem to reflect the same concerns I hear you sharing now." And I don't know what she'd say, maybe she'll lie, maybe she'll say nanny slacked at the end, maybe she'll claim she wasn't comfortable writing down her true reference, or maybe she'll admit they had a difficult parting but things had been great up until the end. The point is not that a parent will read the letter and be done with references, the point is that it provides a continuous analysis of your performance that can defend you against unfair verbal references from disgruntled employers by proving your reliability and their ongoing satisfaction. It's certainly better than nothing when it comes to showing work performance! Most employees have regular reviews they can call on when asking for raises or applying for promotions or new jobs a step up; this is the most basic way for nannies to create a similar paper trail of their employers' satisfaction. |
Anonymous
Ok, imagine this: you're interviewing a nanny candidate who makes a great first impression. She gives you her resume and a letter of reference (or two), along with the names and numbers of her references. You read the letter, dated 06/2014, and find it to be a glowing report. Upon calling the reference you hear a different story - she was never on time (the letter referenced her punctuality), didn't mesh well with your family (she'd been there three years), and various other complaints. Now you're probably wondering if that person actually wrote the reference letter, right? So you ask. "Nanny has asked us for quarterly written reviews or references, is that something you provided to her?" "Well, yes. We wrote them for her every June and every December..." Ok, so now you know the MB was very happy with the nanny when she wrote that reference and is very unhappy with her now. "I really appreciate the time you've taken to fill me in on Nanny, I just have to ask before I go - did something happen between June and now that you'd be comfortable sharing? Your most recent written reference doesn't seem to reflect the same concerns I hear you sharing now." And I don't know what she'd say, maybe she'll lie, maybe she'll say nanny slacked at the end, maybe she'll claim she wasn't comfortable writing down her true reference, or maybe she'll admit they had a difficult parting but things had been great up until the end. The point is not that a parent will read the letter and be done with references, the point is that it provides a continuous analysis of your performance that can defend you against unfair verbal references from disgruntled employers by proving your reliability and their ongoing satisfaction. It's certainly better than nothing when it comes to showing work performance! Most employees have regular reviews they can call on when asking for raises or applying for promotions or new jobs a step up; this is the most basic way for nannies to create a similar paper trail of their employers' satisfaction. |
Anonymous
I beg to differ. Former MBS let nanny go without clear indicators of why. Then she freely and deliberately BURNS the nanny. Sounds disgruntled. Even if FE concerns are genuine and justified, there is a way and appropriate phraseology to use to convey dissatisfaction. It would be unreasonable for nanny to use FE as a reference if she knew it would be a bad one. So I agree with PP about former MB being deceptive. All negatives toward the MB-but she's not job hunting. Don't know what state/area this is in. However, there can be laws governing the manner in which previous employers provide reference information. Reason being, this exact scenario whereby the person could be (maliciously) interfering with the candidate ever being likely to get a new position. You cannot harm another person's need to earn a living. And, no one is going to give a negative reference just because she was unaware/hadn't been asked. So maybe it's not that the nanny doesn't know how to "professional aspects of finding a jon. She may not know how to be aware/handle being stabbed in the back vis-a-vie, her wallet. As for what you should tell the nanny... Agree with PP: Ask her if her former employer approved using her as a reference? Did she alert FE to expect your/other inquiries? Then tell her, "Your references were not what we expected. ". And if you want to assist her a bit further, you could add something like, "It's a good practice to have a trusted friend call and do a "mock reference check" to gain feedback on the type of reference being provided. Or not. |