Nanny comes early, then sits

[Anonymous]

Your nanny should immediately start to pitch in and help the moment she walk in the door. And, of course, she should be paid for this.

I always get to work five to ten minutes early (my choice - I am paranoid about being late) and get right to work - of course for that small amount of time I do not expect to be paid but I do appreciate it when MB or DB lets me leave five or ten minutes early occasionally.

[Anonymous]

this would bug me too OP but the reality is that if she is taking metro then she will either be early or late. You can't expect her to sit outside since not all days are nice, in fact, the vast majority of the year around here is not nice weather i'd say.

You need to offer to pay her to start early and perhaps use that as the oppotunity to add making older kid's lunch. (our nanny does that the day before to avoid hectic rush day-of)

[Anonymous]

I feel like your nanny is damned if she does and damned if she doesn't in this case. I know that when I'm going to work I either show up 15 minutes, or I know I will be late due to traffic. It's like it is physically impossible for me to arrive exactly on time, so I always try to be a few minutes early rather than a few minutes late. I have the luxury of sitting in my car, but what do you expect, her to sit outside? Unless you plan on paying her for her time I don't think it would be fair to expect her to help out around the house. Perhaps she just doesn't want to interrupt your routine.

It is also laughable that she is so in the way when all she is doing is quietly sitting on the couch. Then again, you would probably find some reason to complain if she tried to help out.

[Anonymous]

It seems as though your nanny is factoring in 15-20 extra minutes per day in case the train is late.
Asking her to come at 8 on the dot means that if she continues to allow some wiggle room in her schedule to keep from being late to work, she will have to wait at the train station (not safe!) or wait outside. Waiting outside during the cold months or the hot months would be difficult.
She could leave a bit later in order to arrive at 8am, but would be late if there were any issues with the train.
I always arrive to work a bit early as well. It allows me the opportunity to ground myself and prepare for my day.
If my MB asked me not to enter their home until my start time...it would be the beginning of the end.
I would resent you everyday.
How is someone sitting silently on your couch disruptive?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your nanny relies on public transportation, and she knows she can't be late. She is doing her best to make sure that if there's a problem with the train, she won't be late.

I agree with asking her to sit somewhere out of the center of things, but are there any of the child-related chores you're rushing to do in the morning that could wait for her start time? For example, why can't she be in charge of packing school lunches and take that off your plate? She could either do them at 8, or if they need to be done before that, prep the lunches the day before.

Also, if you need to walk out the door right at 8:00, and you have two children who can't be left alone for even a few minutes, then you need a nanny who starts earlier so you can finish getting dressed. Or you and DH need to get up earlier and switch off watching kids vs. getting dressed (this is what my DH and I do, by default, really, because our kids wake up so early).

Thank you for the helpful advice. The nanny only cares for my younger daughter, not the one who attends school. Do you think she would feel taken advantage of by being asked to prepare other DDs lunch box? It seems like a gray area but if she were willing to I would be grateful.

Our routine is hectic but it works. It's logic defying but we get where we need to be. I really just want to stop tripping over the nannies feet while I run after DD and search for my contacts. Having her there so early is the straw that breaks our routine but it does not have to be.

If you offer to pay her for the extra time yes. Otherwise, no.
How are you tripping over her feet?

[Anonymous]

Hi Nanny,
As you've noticed, our morning routine is hectic! As a result I'd like to pay you and use your skills for every minute you are here.

Here is a sign in, sign out sheet. Would you mine filling this out when you come in/leave each day? I'm sorry for being so neurotic, I just want to make sure I pay you for the correct number of hours!

If you get here before 8 any morning could help us by doing xyz? Otherwise we are still okay with you arriving at 8 if that works best for your schedule,
Thanks!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:(OP) Imagine if I arrived home 15-20 minutes early every day then sat in the living room watching the nanny work. Is that not the cause of several threads on DCUM? Employers who supposedly upset the daily routine by being around the house or are at home not doing anything but don't relieve the nanny early? This is similar. I want the nannies arrival to signal to my child that it is time to transition. Instead, the nanny has been sitting here for 20 minutes without taking over DD. I if the breakfast caught on fire the nanny would, quite possibly, keep reading, probably just swipe to the next page without asking if I needed help.

The nanny arriving early but not helping is different from the employer arriving early and not helping. In one, the nanny is being asked to work for time she is not being paid. In the second, the employer is being asked to parent during the time that the nanny is present, which is arguably reasonable, given that the parents presence in the room makes the nanny job harder. That said, when I nanny complains that her employers do not take over the second they get there early, they are typically advised by most forum members that they should expect to work right up until their end time and that complaining about it is unfair to the employer. In short, that comparison doesn't hold any water at all.

If it is disruptive to have the nanny there, why don't you find a place in your home where she can be out of your hair and ask her to sit in that place instead. The reality is that your nanny is under no obligation to provide you with free early-morning childcare or assistance simply because your morning is hectic. If mornings are problematic for you, perhaps you should hire a nanny can start earlier or wake up earlier to yourself. It is not your nanny's problem to fix. It is possible that you are an otherwise wonderful employer who for whatever reason is fixating on this one small issue, but frankly the more you post, the more entitled you sound, which does not bode well for you keeping a great nanny on long-term.

This.

[Anonymous]

I'm with the OP on this one. I'm a nanny who makes a point to be five minutes early every day, but I come in and immediately take the child or if he's still sleeping I check for dinner dishes or bottles of his to wash or something child-related to tend to. I would never just sit there and watch the parents struggle, just as I would be annoyed if they came home early and did that to me. In my opinion you need to be willing to work once you enter the home, even if you are early.

I also think there is such a thing as being TOO EARLY, especially in a situation where you are working in someone's home. I don't come more than a few minutes early because there might still be a parent in the shower or half-dressed. It's unprofessional.


I liked the previous poster's advice about asking her to help out during this time and in exchange logging those 15 mins and paying. Not much else to do.

[Anonymous]

Ask her to help out with pay. Tell her she doesn't need to get there any earlier to do that.

[Anonymous]

Wow..Just wow.

This nanny is going above and beyond to make 100% sure she is NEVER EVER late since you obviously stressed to her that tardiness is unacceptable and then it seems you are looking down on her for doing so! You sound like a very unreasonable boss to work for and what you are complaining about is very unfair OP.

She is arriving early because she is leaving her house early because she is making sure she is at work ON time like you requested and is allowing for any emergencies, etc. in the way, possibly a late train, I am not sure because I do not live in the area, but do know that it is very stressful to know you cannot be late at all, for any given reason.

She has every right to use those 15-20 min. reading on your couch. Her start time isn't until 8AM so why should she have to start working earlier? Lots of people arrive early to work and just because they do doesn't mean their bosses immediately tell them to start working. You are only obligated to start working at the appointed hour on your schedule.

It is up to you and your husband to figure out the morning shuffle. Don't try to say your nanny has some responsibility in it just because she is there.

Her job doesn't start until her appointed time. Get it?

[Anonymous]

Your nanny should arrive on time, not early.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow..Just wow.

This nanny is going above and beyond to make 100% sure she is NEVER EVER late since you obviously stressed to her that tardiness is unacceptable and then it seems you are looking down on her for doing so! You sound like a very unreasonable boss to work for and what you are complaining about is very unfair OP.

She is arriving early because she is leaving her house early because she is making sure she is at work ON time like you requested and is allowing for any emergencies, etc. in the way, possibly a late train, I am not sure because I do not live in the area, but do know that it is very stressful to know you cannot be late at all, for any given reason.

She has every right to use those 15-20 min. reading on your couch. Her start time isn't until 8AM so why should she have to start working earlier? Lots of people arrive early to work and just because they do doesn't mean their bosses immediately tell them to start working. You are only obligated to start working at the appointed hour on your schedule.

It is up to you and your husband to figure out the morning shuffle. Don't try to say your nanny has some responsibility in it just because she is there.

Her job doesn't start until her appointed time. Get it?

+100

[Anonymous]

I once worked on a hospital floor that had a 3 strikes you're out policy regarding tardiness. Most of my coworkers showed up 15-20 min early because they allows themselves extra time for commuting issues. I think shes being so careful not to be late,which is a good thing.

I also think there is nothing wrong with saying "nanny,we appreciate that you've never been late and have been very reliable. As you can see,our morning routine is super hectic and we would love it if you could pitch in. We were thinking of doing a sign in sheet and you could write down what time you got here, and each oat period,we would add this hours into your pay"

If she says yes,discuss what kind if things she can do to help,but make sure its something she can complete in the 15 minutes and that it is something you can also pick io if one day she shows up at exactly 8. You also can never get annoyed if she doesn't show up til 8 on some days.

Now if she says no and that she likes those 15 min to relax before the dat starts, I think you can ask her to show up closer to 8

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you would like the extra help, here is how I would phrase it:

"Nanny, we greatly appreciate the fact that you are on time or early every single day. That is so valuable to us, and it means so much to see you making it such a priority. As you may have noticed, our mornings are very hectic. If you would be interested, you could start writing down the time that you actually get here, and if you are willing to pitch in as soon as possible get settled, we would gladly pay you for the extra 15 or 20 minutes on days when you are early. Obviously, you would still only be required to be here by your 8 o'clock start time. But given that you are often here earlier than that, and that we could often use the help, I wondered if you would be open to earning a little extra overtime during those 15 or 20 minutes of lag time between when you get here and when your official start time begins. Would you be interested in that?"

If your nanny does not have the ability to wait in the car (it sounded from your post like she is taking public transportation to get there). Then it is perfectly reasonable for her to arrive early and sit in your house doing whatever she pleases that is not disruptive until her actual start time. If you move her start time back to 745, my guess is that she will begin arriving at 7:30 and he will have this same problem 15 minutes earlier. It is 100% valid for her not to be working during a time when she is not paid to work. I doubt that you would want to do work you were not being paid for either. I can see where you might feel that she ought to help a family in need just to show that she is a team player, but the reality is that in many cases that type of help quickly becomes take it for granted and leads to Nanny burn out. If this is what she needs to feel rested before jumping into a full days work, then you would be a fool to be upset with her.

That said, if you are willing to pay for the extra time, and can guarantee that you will not be annoyed next week because she was only 10 minutes early to work and only helped for 10 extra minutes, then I can see no reason why this could not work for both of you. Tell her that you will keep track of the extra time anyway she wishes and that you will not build your schedule around having her there, but simply be appreciative on the days when she does happen to be early.

My fear as a nanny if you asked me this, especially after having had you lecture me about how you I was not permitted to be late under any circumstances, is that you would then get used to having that help in your morning routine and if I were only five minutes late one day, that you would tell me I had made you late for work because you now had to get your child dressed all by yourself. Think carefully about yourself and about whether you are to the type of employer who would get caught up in that mindset. The fact that you are annoyed with her for not working for free for 15 minutes does not necessarily speak highly of you in that regard.

OP here. Your wording is very professional and your advice is helpful. I don't want to take advantage of anyone. I would be fine if she showed up at 8 on the dot and would never consider that late. I am uncomfortable having her at the house so early because it is a small invasion of our privacy in addition to the fact that we live in a small house so that were all constantly running around the room where she sits. She has thrown off our routine. It would be great if we could offer her a private space to sit. Unfortunately, our house is small. I can't possibly ask her to sit in the basement next to the dryer or upstairs in our bedrooms, so there is no other place to put her.

Did you offer to pay her more if she starts working earlier? Or you just don't want that?

[Anonymous]

OP if you don't want her arriving early you have to accept that she might sometimes be late. Unfortunately commuting times are not guaranteed to be the same every day.

Consider your own workspace/office - if you have an important meeting or an early morning client can you arrive a little early to be sure you're there and ready to go when your day starts? You are being very unreasonable in expecting your nanny to arrive EXACTLY on time.

I drive to work but as I have to find street parking I come early. 75% of the time I'm at work 15min early but sometimes it takes me so long I'm rushing in the door right at 8. I build that time in so I'm never late. If my boss told me that was an inconvenience for her or an invasion of her privacy I'd be giving her the side eye. This is the trade off you make if you need someone who is literally never going to be late. She is being responsible and you are sounding petty. Either ask her if she'd like to start chipping in (with pay) when she arrives or just go about your morning. I can't imagine she's seriously in your way if she's sitting on the couch...