Nanny comes early, then sits

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow..Just wow.

This nanny is going above and beyond to make 100% sure she is NEVER EVER late since you obviously stressed to her that tardiness is unacceptable and then it seems you are looking down on her for doing so! You sound like a very unreasonable boss to work for and what you are complaining about is very unfair OP.

She is arriving early because she is leaving her house early because she is making sure she is at work ON time like you requested and is allowing for any emergencies, etc. in the way, possibly a late train, I am not sure because I do not live in the area, but do know that it is very stressful to know you cannot be late at all, for any given reason.

She has every right to use those 15-20 min. reading on your couch. Her start time isn't until 8AM so why should she have to start working earlier? Lots of people arrive early to work and just because they do doesn't mean their bosses immediately tell them to start working. You are only obligated to start working at the appointed hour on your schedule.

It is up to you and your husband to figure out the morning shuffle. Don't try to say your nanny has some responsibility in it just because she is there.

Her job doesn't start until her appointed time. Get it?

Agreed, I have to believe that some of these people condemning that poor nanny or trolls otherwise I am really o_O. This nanny is making sure she arrives on time. So what if she is 15 minutes early and quietly reading on the couch. How in the world is that intrusive?!? Some of you MBs need to get off your high horse. I really hope your nanny leaves you because she deserves someone who appreciates that she is making sure she is there on time.

[Anonymous]

To have the nanny see you leave your baby to play independently while you go grab a shirt when she is given hell for even glancing at a text message 6 inches away.... Very stressful indeed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To have the nanny see you leave your baby to play independently while you go grab a shirt when she is given hell for even glancing at a text message 6 inches away.... Very stressful indeed.

Lol. Truth be told.

[Anonymous]

OP, you give up some privacy when you have a domestic employee. They are going to see you at times in a less-than-perfect light. But, you are doing the best for your kids. Let her relax for a few minutes before she takes over everything.

This was hard for me, too, at first; I wanted everything to be perfect when the nanny arrived. It felt "unseemly" for someone outside the family to see us harried, or messy, or unprepared for the day. But I figured out that it was about my hangups and my need to keep everything private, and that having the nanny trumped that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi Nanny,
As you've noticed, our morning routine is hectic! As a result I'd like to pay you and use your skills for every minute you are here.

Here is a sign in, sign out sheet. Would you mine filling this out when you come in/leave each day? I'm sorry for being so neurotic, I just want to make sure I pay you for the correct number of hours!

If you get here before 8 any morning could help us by doing xyz? Otherwise we are still okay with you arriving at 8 if that works best for your schedule,
Thanks!

I like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you would like the extra help, here is how I would phrase it:

"Nanny, we greatly appreciate the fact that you are on time or early every single day. That is so valuable to us, and it means so much to see you making it such a priority. As you may have noticed, our mornings are very hectic. If you would be interested, you could start writing down the time that you actually get here, and if you are willing to pitch in as soon as possible get settled, we would gladly pay you for the extra 15 or 20 minutes on days when you are early. Obviously, you would still only be required to be here by your 8 o'clock start time. But given that you are often here earlier than that, and that we could often use the help, I wondered if you would be open to earning a little extra overtime during those 15 or 20 minutes of lag time between when you get here and when your official start time begins. Would you be interested in that?"

If your nanny does not have the ability to wait in the car (it sounded from your post like she is taking public transportation to get there). Then it is perfectly reasonable for her to arrive early and sit in your house doing whatever she pleases that is not disruptive until her actual start time. If you move her start time back to 745, my guess is that she will begin arriving at 7:30 and he will have this same problem 15 minutes earlier. It is 100% valid for her not to be working during a time when she is not paid to work. I doubt that you would want to do work you were not being paid for either. I can see where you might feel that she ought to help a family in need just to show that she is a team player, but the reality is that in many cases that type of help quickly becomes take it for granted and leads to Nanny burn out. If this is what she needs to feel rested before jumping into a full days work, then you would be a fool to be upset with her.

That said, if you are willing to pay for the extra time, and can guarantee that you will not be annoyed next week because she was only 10 minutes early to work and only helped for 10 extra minutes, then I can see no reason why this could not work for both of you. Tell her that you will keep track of the extra time anyway she wishes and that you will not build your schedule around having her there, but simply be appreciative on the days when she does happen to be early.

My fear as a nanny if you asked me this, especially after having had you lecture me about how you I was not permitted to be late under any circumstances, is that you would then get used to having that help in your morning routine and if I were only five minutes late one day, that you would tell me I had made you late for work because you now had to get your child dressed all by yourself. Think carefully about yourself and about whether you are to the type of employer who would get caught up in that mindset. The fact that you are annoyed with her for not working for free for 15 minutes does not necessarily speak highly of you in that regard.

OP here. Your wording is very professional and your advice is helpful. I don't want to take advantage of anyone. I would be fine if she showed up at 8 on the dot and would never consider that late. I am uncomfortable having her at the house so early because it is a small invasion of our privacy in addition to the fact that we live in a small house so that were all constantly running around the room where she sits. She has thrown off our routine. It would be great if we could offer her a private space to sit. Unfortunately, our house is small. I can't possibly ask her to sit in the basement next to the dryer or upstairs in our bedrooms, so there is no other place to put her.

Did you offer to pay her more if she starts working earlier? Or you just don't want that?

OP?

[nannydebsays]

OP, if you are still around, you emphasized how essential it is to be on time when interviewing this nanny. Now you have hired her, and she is not only on time, but EARLY, and suddenly you are pissy.

For a nanny just getting used to your family dynamic, she may not know exactly what you want from her, but I guarantee you she knows you are angry about something.

You may have to choose from a few options here.

1) Tell her that you want her to be at your home no earlier than 8 on the dot, and tell her there will be ZERO repercussions if she is a few minutes late on occasion due to her commute. Then live with the results.

2) ASK her if she would mind pitching in as soon as she gets to your house, and emphasize that you want her to be paid for every minute she works, and will use a sign in/sign out sheet to guarantee that happens. Tell her how much her help will be appreciated. And then tell her again on occasion how much it means to have her come early at times.

3) Deal with the situation as is, let your displeasure go, and be thrilled your nanny is so conscientious. Many many employers would kill to have nanny in the house and ready to go at her start time!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you would like the extra help, here is how I would phrase it:

"Nanny, we greatly appreciate the fact that you are on time or early every single day. That is so valuable to us, and it means so much to see you making it such a priority. As you may have noticed, our mornings are very hectic. If you would be interested, you could start writing down the time that you actually get here, and if you are willing to pitch in as soon as possible get settled, we would gladly pay you for the extra 15 or 20 minutes on days when you are early. Obviously, you would still only be required to be here by your 8 o'clock start time. But given that you are often here earlier than that, and that we could often use the help, I wondered if you would be open to earning a little extra overtime during those 15 or 20 minutes of lag time between when you get here and when your official start time begins. Would you be interested in that?"

If your nanny does not have the ability to wait in the car (it sounded from your post like she is taking public transportation to get there). Then it is perfectly reasonable for her to arrive early and sit in your house doing whatever she pleases that is not disruptive until her actual start time. If you move her start time back to 745, my guess is that she will begin arriving at 7:30 and he will have this same problem 15 minutes earlier. It is 100% valid for her not to be working during a time when she is not paid to work. I doubt that you would want to do work you were not being paid for either. I can see where you might feel that she ought to help a family in need just to show that she is a team player, but the reality is that in many cases that type of help quickly becomes take it for granted and leads to Nanny burn out. If this is what she needs to feel rested before jumping into a full days work, then you would be a fool to be upset with her.

That said, if you are willing to pay for the extra time, and can guarantee that you will not be annoyed next week because she was only 10 minutes early to work and only helped for 10 extra minutes, then I can see no reason why this could not work for both of you. Tell her that you will keep track of the extra time anyway she wishes and that you will not build your schedule around having her there, but simply be appreciative on the days when she does happen to be early.

My fear as a nanny if you asked me this, especially after having had you lecture me about how you I was not permitted to be late under any circumstances, is that you would then get used to having that help in your morning routine and if I were only five minutes late one day, that you would tell me I had made you late for work because you now had to get your child dressed all by yourself. Think carefully about yourself and about whether you are to the type of employer who would get caught up in that mindset. The fact that you are annoyed with her for not working for free for 15 minutes does not necessarily speak highly of you in that regard.

OP here. Your wording is very professional and your advice is helpful. I don't want to take advantage of anyone. I would be fine if she showed up at 8 on the dot and would never consider that late. I am uncomfortable having her at the house so early because it is a small invasion of our privacy in addition to the fact that we live in a small house so that were all constantly running around the room where she sits. She has thrown off our routine. It would be great if we could offer her a private space to sit. Unfortunately, our house is small. I can't possibly ask her to sit in the basement next to the dryer or upstairs in our bedrooms, so there is no other place to put her.

Did you offer to pay her more if she starts working earlier? Or you just don't want that?

OP seems to want some free labor... Why?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you would like the extra help, here is how I would phrase it:

"Nanny, we greatly appreciate the fact that you are on time or early every single day. That is so valuable to us, and it means so much to see you making it such a priority. As you may have noticed, our mornings are very hectic. If you would be interested, you could start writing down the time that you actually get here, and if you are willing to pitch in as soon as possible get settled, we would gladly pay you for the extra 15 or 20 minutes on days when you are early. Obviously, you would still only be required to be here by your 8 o'clock start time. But given that you are often here earlier than that, and that we could often use the help, I wondered if you would be open to earning a little extra overtime during those 15 or 20 minutes of lag time between when you get here and when your official start time begins. Would you be interested in that?"

If your nanny does not have the ability to wait in the car (it sounded from your post like she is taking public transportation to get there). Then it is perfectly reasonable for her to arrive early and sit in your house doing whatever she pleases that is not disruptive until her actual start time. If you move her start time back to 745, my guess is that she will begin arriving at 7:30 and he will have this same problem 15 minutes earlier. It is 100% valid for her not to be working during a time when she is not paid to work. I doubt that you would want to do work you were not being paid for either. I can see where you might feel that she ought to help a family in need just to show that she is a team player, but the reality is that in many cases that type of help quickly becomes take it for granted and leads to Nanny burn out. If this is what she needs to feel rested before jumping into a full days work, then you would be a fool to be upset with her.

That said, if you are willing to pay for the extra time, and can guarantee that you will not be annoyed next week because she was only 10 minutes early to work and only helped for 10 extra minutes, then I can see no reason why this could not work for both of you. Tell her that you will keep track of the extra time anyway she wishes and that you will not build your schedule around having her there, but simply be appreciative on the days when she does happen to be early.

My fear as a nanny if you asked me this, especially after having had you lecture me about how you I was not permitted to be late under any circumstances, is that you would then get used to having that help in your morning routine and if I were only five minutes late one day, that you would tell me I had made you late for work because you now had to get your child dressed all by yourself. Think carefully about yourself and about whether you are to the type of employer who would get caught up in that mindset. The fact that you are annoyed with her for not working for free for 15 minutes does not necessarily speak highly of you in that regard.

OP here. Your wording is very professional and your advice is helpful. I don't want to take advantage of anyone. I would be fine if she showed up at 8 on the dot and would never consider that late. I am uncomfortable having her at the house so early because it is a small invasion of our privacy in addition to the fact that we live in a small house so that were all constantly running around the room where she sits. She has thrown off our routine. It would be great if we could offer her a private space to sit. Unfortunately, our house is small. I can't possibly ask her to sit in the basement next to the dryer or upstairs in our bedrooms, so there is no other place to put her.

You, on the other hand, are most UNprofessional, OP. You have received three pages of solutions, yet you FAILED to admit your real problem. Your entitled self wants free labor out of the poor nanny, and she refuses to be your f'ing doormat. What a pity that has absolutely nothing to do with your little house, ms troll. You need to try harder next time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why can't she sit on your couch and read for 15 minutes?
Why would you expect her to help you if she isn't scheduled and is not being paid?
Petty. You will gain little sympathy here.

This. MB here. You sound difficult to please. You agreed to a start time that is non-negotiable. To meet that demand the nanny, who uses public transport which can be unpredictable, actually comes in early. And you're annoyed. Really. You sound rather entitled and juvenile. You need to adjust your coping skills with your morning routine and react like an adult. If you want the nanny to come in earlier or get started earlier, or whatever, why don't you ask? But, be prepared and accepting of her refusal. Like a grown-up. I know this will be hard for you.

[Anonymous]

I would be annoyed to OP. My nanny loves our family and would never ever think of doing what your nanny is doing. There is a true difference between nannys who are primarily there for the money and those that are there to truly help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would be annoyed to OP. My nanny loves our family and would never ever think of doing what your nanny is doing. There is a true difference between nannys who are primarily there for the money and those that are there to truly help.

And there are people who are mutually respectful and all help each other. I'd go for that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would be annoyed to OP. My nanny loves our family and would never ever think of doing what your nanny is doing. There is a true difference between nannys who are primarily there for the money and those that are there to truly help.

Job. This is a job. You all are so quick to remind of us that until it comes to meeting your every need. Then we need to forget the job aspect and go out of our way to make your life easier. Everyone who works is there for the money. They may enjoy the work, but they don't work for free. That is called a volunteer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would be annoyed to OP. My nanny loves our family and would never ever think of doing what your nanny is doing. There is a true difference between nannys who are primarily there for the money and those that are there to truly help.

I like to think most MBs know how to spell the plural of "nanny."

Are you our troll trying to stir up trouble and give MBs a bad reputation?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be annoyed to OP. My nanny loves our family and would never ever think of doing what your nanny is doing. There is a true difference between nannys who are primarily there for the money and those that are there to truly help.

I like to think most MBs know how to spell the plural of "nanny."

Are you our troll trying to stir up trouble and give MBs a bad reputation?

I think it is pretty clear it is the troll.