Is this rude?
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
No rsvp = not coming. It was nice of her to send a gift anyway. The other SIL told you she's not coming and will likely get a gift when the baby is born. Don't judge the future of the relationship on this one interaction. Try not to be overly sensitive in general. |
Anonymous
Nah, they don’t like babyshowers. Who does? |
Anonymous
I'm the aunt. My SIL was REALLY mean to me and I felt like I wouldn't be able to become close with their baby. She mellowed when the baby turned about 1, and now we get along MUCH better, but before that I was really just going through the motions. I showed up to the baby shower, but honestly didn't even feel wanted there. I cried when I got home. So, from that perspective, I might suggest you check to see what you're putting out there. Maybe you're nicer to your SILs than mine was to me. Maybe they're just not into babies, especially ones that haven't arrived yet. |
Anonymous
| I get where you are coming from. I'm still miffed that there was literally no response from my own two SIL to our pregnancy announcement. Granted, they are not local so it was over email, and we don't talk much in general anyway, but it takes approx 3 seconds to reply "congrats" and would have gone a long way to just acknowledge it. |
Anonymous
|
That was really nice of her to send a big box of gifts. Focus on that. Maybe she assumed her mom or brother told you she wasn't coming. Maybe she forgot to RSVP. When you called to thank her for the gifts, what did she say?
|
Anonymous
| Do they have kids? If yes, did you go to theirs and involved with their kids? There is clearly more to this. Really, no aunts is no big deal. |
Anonymous
|
Are these your DH's sisters? Or your brothers' wives? And yes I think it makes a difference.
If it was your DH's sister I think that sucks. If these women are married to your brothers, eh, they aren't *technically* related to this baby so they get a pass. |
Anonymous
|
Are you sure they did not rsvp to think they did? All my inlaws seem to think if they tell someone - not necessarily thecperson holding the party - that they have RSVPed. They are reasonable people in most other ways. But I could see them emailing my husband and him telling no one. Not saying it is right. But I have learned to adjust.
Let yourself feel frusterated for a few days and then let it go. |
Anonymous
They DID acknowledge the shower. One RSVPed that she could not attend because she would be out of town. The other sent a gift. You sound difficult. You're already deciding that they will be dud aunts and your baby isn't even born yet. |
Anonymous
That's because you're still in the "me, me, me" phase. Just wait until that precious little baby comes along, you'll re-ajust your mindset & in a few months from now you'll feel silly for even letting this bother you. Who knows, maybe this baby will change the way they feel too? They may become suffocating & smothering and want to spend ALL of their free time with the baby. Then you'll be wishing for the days of radio silence again, lol! |
Anonymous
|
I'd be annoyed a bit, but ultimately let it be water under the bridge. RSVPs seem to be a sore point with me to begin with (my friends already show up late, etc. or cancel last minute), but in the end, one DID RSVP that she couldn't make it as she already had plans, and the other did send a gift before the shower (which would have told me she couldn't come).
Try to be graceful about it and not let it get to you too much since you are nearing the end and you don't need the extra stress while pregnant. |
Anonymous
100% truth! As my momma always said "don't sweat the small stuff". Or was it "don't pet the sweaty stuff"? Ah well, either way it's sound advice! 
|
Anonymous
Seriously. Your SIL sent you a gift and rather than expressing a little gratitude, you are complaining about what she didn't do. People are human, maybe she meant to RSVP and she forgot. She obviously didn't mean to snub you if she sent a gift. Your other SIL couldn't make it and she let you know, yet you are still upset. You are seem to be looking for a reason to take offense. For the sake of harmonious family relations, please reconsider how your attitude towards these women will shape your relationship with them in the future, and their relationship with your yet to be born baby. |
Jkirsh64
Member Offline
Member Offline
| Hmm. If it were me, I would be hurt if my SILs were not there. I get it if they have a prior commitment out of town but I would have hoped for a more personal response, either a text or call to let me know they couldn’t be there and were sorry to miss it. |
Anonymous
| not rsvp'ing does not mean they are not coming. it means they were too lazy to indicate whether or not they would attend. |