Is this rude?

[Anonymous]

Eh, maybe? Did whoever was hosting the event follow up with her to confirm she wasn't coming? Did she ignore the follow-up too?

If no one followed up, then I think she wasn't too out of line. But, if someone followed up and she did not reply to that either, than I'd be a little peeved.

It was nice of her to send the gifts though.

[Anonymous]

Rude yes!

[Anonymous]

Baby showers are rude.

[Anonymous]

One SIL did RVSP and was out of town so couldn't make it. The other sent a gift.

I think you are expecting too much. This is isn't a big deal at all.

[Anonymous]

SIL who sent the gift hoped you would call/text and say thanks. She was gonna close with regrets.

[Anonymous]

Is this your first kid op? If not, step off. It is is your first, I would be hurt as well and would back off from the relationship with both. I've had a lifetime of keeping the peace and being the one showing up and helping. I wish I could go back and stop being a people pleaser.

[Anonymous]

Baby showers are so boring. No matter how much I like the person, I don’t want to go. If I have any remote reason to not have to watch someone open a beast pump, I’ll take it.

[Anonymous]

Of course it is rude. People today have no social graces. The president has demonstrated that it is OK to be awful to other people in 2019 America.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:SIL who sent the gift hoped you would call/text and say thanks. She was gonna close with regrets.

+1

Did you call, OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not RSPVing means they aren't coming. I would be more annoyed if they said RSVPed no and came and you didn't have enough food.

Are they local?

Yes they’re both local. The one who didn’t RSVP did send a gift but didn’t say anything to me about the shower, at all. The other said she couldn’t come but didn’t send anything for the baby.

I guess it’s just sad to me because these women are all DD will have for aunts in her life once she’s born and neither one has shown interest at all. I just feel it’s rude to not even acknowledge the shower.

Could she have thought it was a surprise?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m trying to not sound bitter, but my baby shower was this weekend and neither one of my SIL’s came. One texted me to let me know she would be out of town, the other didn’t respond to the invitation at all but did send a big box of stuff for the baby shortly after the invitations went out from the registry.

I’m a little annoyed that my SIL couldn’t even bother to tell me she wasn’t coming. Thankfully my friends and other family members were there, but the silence irritates me. You never know how much food to prepare if people don’t properly RSVP!

Wait. YOU sent invitations out from the registry and people RSVP'd to YOU? It sure sounds like you threw yourself a baby shower. Wow.

I agree with the PP that you are in the 'me, me, me' phase. You need to learn early that NO ONE cares as much about your baby as you do. For the vast majority of people, even your extended family, your baby is just not that big of a deal. Accept it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:SIL who sent the gift hoped you would call/text and say thanks. She was gonna close with regrets.

+1

Did you call, OP?

This is what we need to know

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m trying to not sound bitter, but my baby shower was this weekend and neither one of my SIL’s came. One texted me to let me know she would be out of town, the other didn’t respond to the invitation at all but did send a big box of stuff for the baby shortly after the invitations went out from the registry.

I’m a little annoyed that my SIL couldn’t even bother to tell me she wasn’t coming. Thankfully my friends and other family members were there, but the silence irritates me. You never know how much food to prepare if people don’t properly RSVP!

Wait. YOU sent invitations out from the registry and people RSVP'd to YOU? It sure sounds like you threw yourself a baby shower. Wow.

I agree with the PP that you are in the 'me, me, me' phase. You need to learn early that NO ONE cares as much about your baby as you do. For the vast majority of people, even your extended family, your baby is just not that big of a deal. Accept it.

I didn't catch that. OP shouldn't have known whether or not SIL responded or not, unless the host told her. If you throw yourself a baby shower, you can't really complain that other people aren't sufficiently polite, since you've already indicated that you don't value etiquette. AND the woman sent a "big box" of gifts. OP sounds ungrateful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:SIL who sent the gift hoped you would call/text and say thanks. She was gonna close with regrets.

I want to know what the SIL said when OP called or texted to thank her. I can imagine someone saying, "Oh, you're welcome. Sorry I can't make the shower."

Of course, if OP didn't bother to thank her for the big box of baby stuff, she's not got much of a leg to stand on complaining about a failure to RSVP. Manners go both ways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not RSPVing means they aren't coming. I would be more annoyed if they said RSVPed no and came and you didn't have enough food.

Are they local?

Yes they’re both local. The one who didn’t RSVP did send a gift but didn’t say anything to me about the shower, at all. The other said she couldn’t come but didn’t send anything for the baby.

I guess it’s just sad to me because these women are all DD will have for aunts in her life once she’s born and neither one has shown interest at all. I just feel it’s rude to not even acknowledge the shower.

No, one of them sent a gift. The other would likely wait until she actually saw you. Get over yourself and change your expectations.