Is this an emotional affair?

[Anonymous]

OP- an emotional affair? Your husband tried to have a physical affair.

How is he dealing with this woman/situation at work now?

And you?

[Anonymous]

You're in danger, Girl.

No. No. and NO.

I am a 41 mother of 2, married 20 years. This is how an affair started with my Co-worker.
He would test me out, to see how I would respond to certain physical gestures as well as flirty text, etc.

I made a horrible choice to seek attention elsewhere. Cheaters aren't the horrible person you see at the bar at 2am with some rando. They're people like me, like your husband (potentially), who look and seem normal but are doing some very shady things.

Please be smart. Please. Demand all communication cease. If he needs to get a different job, tell him to make that happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP- an emotional affair? Your husband tried to have a physical affair.

How is he dealing with this woman/situation at work now?

And you?

OP here. After their initial conversation on Monday, he told me he tried to avoid her. He said he organized a team lunch out today and purposely excluded her. She confronted him this afternoon and said he was making a big deal out of nothing but by acting so out of the ordinary he was calling attention to them. She told him to "forget about it". I almost feel like my DH is still caught up in it while she doesn't even seem to care about him at all. To clarify my original post, I think she's just ok looking but when I look at what she's accomplished and her personality, I can see why she would be attractive to him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Cheaters aren't the horrible person you see at the bar at 2am with some rando. They're people like me, like your husband (potentially), who look and seem normal but are doing some very shady things.

This is why hate cheaters. They do something really terrible, then act like victims. It's a way she they can actually avoid dealing with consequences. They convince themselves that they aren't horrible, they just used some bad judgement because they needed something and didn't know how to ask for it.

Just stop with the, "I'm not that person." You are a weak and selfish person with really flawed judgment. You're no better than any other cheater. You just feign emotional nonsense so people wouldn't hate you.

[Anonymous]

Eh. He told you what happened and now he’s telling you about the awkwardness at work— it sounds like you have a pretty good relationship. He messed up but it doesn’t seem like a big deal.

[Anonymous]

Um, if that lady goes to HR, chances are your husband will be fired.

He better stop drawing attention to this at work. Excluding her from a team lunch? Stupid. He shouldn't try to exclude her or anger her...otherwise she will go to HR. Rather, he should focus on work instead of socializing. Period.

Fingers crossed he doesn't get fired for sexual harassment!

[Anonymous]

It is very easy for colleagues of the opposite sex to have an emotional affair. I am glad your husband told you the truth, but I would ask him to commit to not being alone with her again. If there are any other boundaries that need to be set that would help you feel more comfortable, then I would ask him to agree to those, too. You can never be too careful these days.

[Anonymous]

She's right. He needs to forget about it and stop acting so weird at work.

[Anonymous]

I am emotionally involved and she is 76 and I am 78. It was never planned to happen. She is a widow for more than 43 years. It started with after Bridge lunch. Whow what a lunch that was. Pure flirting and banter. The NRE was there among those flashing eyes. It was very romantic. One problem I'm married and celebrated 53rd anniv. We are not doing sex though both want too. And now I find myself in love with two women at same time. Yes I feel guilty and have never strayed. So the NRE relationship is both wonderful and troubling. No I wont hurt my wife by divorcing or revealing.
She is moving to her daughters 300 miles away soon. I'm heart broken but perhaps for the best. Should i lose my lovely wife I will go find her. For those considering -you need to be ready to accept the psychological pain. Now I have learned can love two women at same time. And you can throw stones at me. But love in the many forms is wonderful if not exasperating.

[Anonymous]

To me sounds like it is an emotional affair.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Go to where they were and ask the servers or bartenders what they saw? As a last resort call the woman. A kiss is terrible but definitely not grounds for divorce.

Funniest post ever. Do you watch a lot of detective shows? Should she show his photo around to them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Go to where they were and ask the servers or bartenders what they saw? As a last resort call the woman. A kiss is terrible but definitely not grounds for divorce.

Funniest post ever. Do you watch a lot of detective shows? Should she show his photo around to them?

Do not go to where they were and talk to the servers. You'll look like a complete nut.

[Anonymous]

OP, your husband hit on a 50 year old woman in the throes of menopause so it's no wonder she didn't escalate the situation with the thigh touching.

You caught a break.......but if he ever finds himself day drunk (at 2 pm!) with a younger desperate woman, you're DOOMED.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am emotionally involved and she is 76 and I am 78. It was never planned to happen. She is a widow for more than 43 years. It started with after Bridge lunch. Whow what a lunch that was. Pure flirting and banter. The NRE was there among those flashing eyes. It was very romantic. One problem I'm married and celebrated 53rd anniv. We are not doing sex though both want too. And now I find myself in love with two women at same time. Yes I feel guilty and have never strayed. So the NRE relationship is both wonderful and troubling. No I wont hurt my wife by divorcing or revealing.
She is moving to her daughters 300 miles away soon. I'm heart broken but perhaps for the best. Should i lose my lovely wife I will go find her. For those considering -you need to be ready to accept the psychological pain. Now I have learned can love two women at same time. And you can throw stones at me. But love in the many forms is wonderful if not exasperating.

OP has a 50 year husband that attempted to cheat. Then we have the almost 80 year old man above also wooing a woman, despite his marital status.

Men never quit. No matter the age. LOL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am emotionally involved and she is 76 and I am 78. It was never planned to happen. She is a widow for more than 43 years. It started with after Bridge lunch. Whow what a lunch that was. Pure flirting and banter. The NRE was there among those flashing eyes. It was very romantic. One problem I'm married and celebrated 53rd anniv. We are not doing sex though both want too. And now I find myself in love with two women at same time. Yes I feel guilty and have never strayed. So the NRE relationship is both wonderful and troubling. No I wont hurt my wife by divorcing or revealing.
She is moving to her daughters 300 miles away soon. I'm heart broken but perhaps for the best. Should i lose my lovely wife I will go find her. For those considering -you need to be ready to accept the psychological pain. Now I have learned can love two women at same time. And you can throw stones at me. But love in the many forms is wonderful if not exasperating.

OP has a 50 year husband that attempted to cheat. Then we have the almost 80 year old man above also wooing a woman, despite his marital status.

Men never quit. No matter the age. LOL

Oops, he's 39. But still.