Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The statistics speak for themselves - more men remarry.

The women who do are probably the younger, prettier, more vivacious ones to begin with. An overweight SAHM is going to find it virtually impossible to compete.

You're attaching causality to a statistic that is just correlation. In my limited experience I can tell you men in their forties are much more desirous of a serious committed relationship than women in the same age group. It is a complete reversal of what I saw in my twenties with men being commitment-shy and women pushing for the ring.

Personally, I think the main reason women get married is to have kids with a partner. If that relationship ends, there's really no need to marry again. Eslecially of the women did all the work in the marriage, why go through that again? The overweight SAHM in your scenario is more likely to lick her wounds, lose weight and enjoy being single. Once the pressure is off to find a good father for your kids, dating becomes fun.

Then you obviously have not been out there dating as a divorced woman with kids. Many, many men do not want to deal with other peoples children. Men in their forties are at the peaks of their career and "distinguished looking". Women in their forties . . .

I'm posting this not to be mean, but to encourage women who are thinking of leaving for vague "I'm not in love" reasons to really think about what the reality will look like.

Actually I am a divorced 40+ woman with kids. I'm leery of dating still but when I have made forays there were plenty of interested men. But then, I'm not looking to remarry so maybe that's the reason we've had different experiences. My friend though routinely breaks up with guys because they want to get too serious.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A spin off from another thread, where they said," most men get divorced and upgrade to a younger, hotter woman. Most divorced women end up alone." Any anecdotes to buck that belief?

Um, my mom.

She remarried at 55 to a wonderful man who is way better than my father.

Please don't use this board as a baseline as to how real relationships work.

MikeL wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A spin off from another thread, where they said," most men get divorced and upgrade to a younger, hotter woman. Most divorced women end up alone." Any anecdotes to buck that belief?

Um, my mom.

She remarried at 55 to a wonderful man who is way better than my father.

Please don't use this board as a baseline as to how real relationships work.

My Mom as well...almost the exact same age, too.

Anonymous wrote:I would think that for many divorced women, being single is an "upgrade" in itself.

Anonymous wrote:I would think that for many divorced women, being single is an "upgrade" in itself.

Anonymous wrote:If all these women "upgraded" after divorce, why do young women do such a terrible job picking mates when younger?

Anonymous wrote:And anyone who would use "market value" to describe another human being is either bitter towards women, insecure or has had a troubled dating/marital history themselves.

Yes, dating in middle age has its challenges and is harder than dating in your 20's-30's but the concept of market value is disgusting and skewed.

Anonymous wrote:Generally, women have a much easier time dating then men. Men make the first move and even though statistically there are more women than men, there are many more men on the dating scene. This is why men want to get serious fast - they know the odds suck for them and that women usually have higher standards

Anonymous wrote:I know a woman who sort of upgraded. But she was a widow, and it took years after her husband passed away. I think the dynamic has lots to do with age. A 50-year-old woman, even if she is pretty, in great shape, and makes good money, is still... well, a mature woman.

A handsome and successful 50-year-old guy can be a catch for a wide range of women.

It is just not the same at, say, 30. Thirty-year-olds are still young and full of potential. I think for us ladies the real decline in prospects kicks in after mid-forties. Not so much for guys. This sucks, but what can you do?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know a woman who sort of upgraded. But she was a widow, and it took years after her husband passed away. I think the dynamic has lots to do with age. A 50-year-old woman, even if she is pretty, in great shape, and makes good money, is still... well, a mature woman.

A handsome and successful 50-year-old guy can be a catch for a wide range of women.

It is just not the same at, say, 30. Thirty-year-olds are still young and full of potential. I think for us ladies the real decline in prospects kicks in after mid-forties. Not so much for guys. This sucks, but what can you do?

I think this is kind of a fantasy, because there really are not a lot of handsome and successful available 50 year olds. The available 50 year olds are fat, bald, and there are reasons why they are still looking at their age. But yes, the fantasy of a George Clooney type looms large for men (who think they are one) and women (who want one).

In reality, like someone said, the person with looks/personality can "upgrade."

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A spin off from another thread, where they said," most men get divorced and upgrade to a younger, hotter woman. Most divorced women end up alone." Any anecdotes to buck that belief?

Um, my mom.

She remarried at 55 to a wonderful man who is way better than my father.

Please don't use this board as a baseline as to how real relationships work.