Divorced women who upgraded

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, I left DH after he cheated. I have had a couple of great relationships (if you aren't searching for the father of your children, you can date a wider variety of men) but have not remarried.

Yet, even single, it feels like an upgrade.

is this code for a wider economic range?

No.

Do you not have children?

Wider economic range, yes. Wider age range (now that I'm older) and a few other things. For example, one of the guys I dated was quite short. I might not have dated him when I was younger. I don't want any more kids and mine are grown, so I am looking for a companion for me as opposed to a father or father figure.

[Anonymous]

Haha! So you don't want to mix genes with short people? Fair enough, but it strikes me as funny.

[Anonymous]

I know several divorced women who don't want to remarry. Being free to date and not have to pick up other people's shit has its plus sides. I also know that divorced men are more likely to want to remarry. I think they like the stability. Maybe they go younger because women their own age don't want them? A divorced friend of mine only dates younger guys.

[Anonymous]

I don't think you're talking about people in my situation, but I definitely upgraded. Was married to an abusive guy with a dead end job and left him two years ago. Reconnected with an old flame and am now a SAHM - my husband now is a better person, better looking, taller, makes more money, is more intelligent (etc. etc.). I'm 29.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:According to our marriage counselor, that is largely true. She told me to prepare for that as reality if we split up, which we are considering, since it's most likely. Not necessarily the hotter, younger part, but that he will remarry and I won't.

WTF.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:According to our marriage counselor, that is largely true. She told me to prepare for that as reality if we split up, which we are considering, since it's most likely. Not necessarily the hotter, younger part, but that he will remarry and I won't.

One of only two things are going on here. Pick one:

1. The marriage counselor is completely inept and should not be seeing clients saying stupid baseless crap like that.

2. You are one of the many Internet actors on here that gets your rocks off by making stupid shit up.

Regardless, the common theme is stupid post. People can now step over this and carry on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think you're talking about people in my situation, but I definitely upgraded. Was married to an abusive guy with a dead end job and left him two years ago. Reconnected with an old flame and am now a SAHM - my husband now is a better person, better looking, taller, makes more money, is more intelligent (etc. etc.). I'm 29.

Add me to this list. New dh is better looking, better in bed, makes more money, smarter and better in every way. ExDH was a drug addicted a-hole. Of course, I got married the first time at 19 so my decision making skills weren't exactly what they are now.

[Anonymous]

I have a friend who was married to a newscaster here in the DC area (not sure if he does local news anymore) and he was abusive to her.

She dumped him and got remarried and the new guy is not only successful and attractive, but treats here like a queen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:According to our marriage counselor, that is largely true. She told me to prepare for that as reality if we split up, which we are considering, since it's most likely. Not necessarily the hotter, younger part, but that he will remarry and I won't.

No therapist worth their salt would say that. Even if it has been their experience anecdotally.

Just to add, a good therapist would discuss the possibility that remarriage might not occur and explore feelings around that, but not predict the future in such a negative way.

Exactly. I think this "therapist" is more like some dude's interior monologue of how he hopes the world will be when he gets a divorce...

[Anonymous]

My new husband is an attractive kind, wealthy attorney and my ex was an abusive SOB who only worked seasonal jobs. Huge upgrade. I feel like I won the love lottery.

[Anonymous]

Interesting that so many women in this thread define their new H as an upgrade because he is "taller" or "makes more money" or "treats me like a queen." Must be true love.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Interesting that so many women in this thread define their new H as an upgrade because he is "taller" or "makes more money" or "treats me like a queen." Must be true love.

Define upgrade?

[Anonymous]

The statistics speak for themselves - more men remarry.

The women who do are probably the younger, prettier, more vivacious ones to begin with. An overweight SAHM is going to find it virtually impossible to compete.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think you're talking about people in my situation, but I definitely upgraded. Was married to an abusive guy with a dead end job and left him two years ago. Reconnected with an old flame and am now a SAHM - my husband now is a better person, better looking, taller, makes more money, is more intelligent (etc. etc.). I'm 29.

You married a loser, divorced and were dating at 27 without any kids. Great story and happy for you.
But I think this thread was more geared towards women who have been married a while, a kid or 2, well past their 20s.
See the difference in terms of "market value" ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The statistics speak for themselves - more men remarry.

The women who do are probably the younger, prettier, more vivacious ones to begin with. An overweight SAHM is going to find it virtually impossible to compete.

You're attaching causality to a statistic that is just correlation. In my limited experience I can tell you men in their forties are much more desirous of a serious committed relationship than women in the same age group. It is a complete reversal of what I saw in my twenties with men being commitment-shy and women pushing for the ring.

Personally, I think the main reason women get married is to have kids with a partner. If that relationship ends, there's really no need to marry again. Eslecially of the women did all the work in the marriage, why go through that again? The overweight SAHM in your scenario is more likely to lick her wounds, lose weight and enjoy being single. Once the pressure is off to find a good father for your kids, dating becomes fun.