Divorced women who upgraded

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know a woman who sort of upgraded. But she was a widow, and it took years after her husband passed away. I think the dynamic has lots to do with age. A 50-year-old woman, even if she is pretty, in great shape, and makes good money, is still... well, a mature woman.

A handsome and successful 50-year-old guy can be a catch for a wide range of women.

It is just not the same at, say, 30. Thirty-year-olds are still young and full of potential. I think for us ladies the real decline in prospects kicks in after mid-forties. Not so much for guys. This sucks, but what can you do?

I think this is kind of a fantasy, because there really are not a lot of handsome and successful available 50 year olds. The available 50 year olds are fat, bald, and there are reasons why they are still looking at their age. But yes, the fantasy of a George Clooney type looms large for men (who think they are one) and women (who want one).

In reality, like someone said, the person with looks/personality can "upgrade."

Totally agree.

[Anonymous]

I don't know...all my brothers have gotten divorced (wives left because they were bored, basically) and they all re-married women 10 years younger. So long as 30 year old women are happy to snap up 40 year old guys, it makes it sort of hard on us 40 year old women. I think at some point it evens out....when you're eligible for the over 55 communities.

[Anonymous]

I can't wait to whore it up in the retirement community. Wrinkly, kinky, ugh! sex with zero inhibitions.

[Anonymous]

The Onion: New Mommy A Lot Prettier
http://www.theonion.com/articles/new-mommy-a-lot-prettier,1512/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know...all my brothers have gotten divorced (wives left because they were bored, basically) and they all re-married women 10 years younger. So long as 30 year old women are happy to snap up 40 year old guys, it makes it sort of hard on us 40 year old women. I think at some point it evens out....when you're eligible for the over 55 communities.

Yeah but I think the same can be said for women. I mean, if a 40 year old woman were INTERESTED in dating a 30 year old, I've no doubt she could find an interested party. Plenty of women have. It's just generally young age is not seen as a huge bonus for women- we dont care about it as much as other factors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The statistics speak for themselves - more men remarry.

The women who do are probably the younger, prettier, more vivacious ones to begin with. An overweight SAHM is going to find it virtually impossible to compete.

You're attaching causality to a statistic that is just correlation. In my limited experience I can tell you men in their forties are much more desirous of a serious committed relationship than women in the same age group. It is a complete reversal of what I saw in my twenties with men being commitment-shy and women pushing for the ring.

Personally, I think the main reason women get married is to have kids with a partner. If that relationship ends, there's really no need to marry again. Eslecially of the women did all the work in the marriage, why go through that again? The overweight SAHM in your scenario is more likely to lick her wounds, lose weight and enjoy being single. Once the pressure is off to find a good father for your kids, dating becomes fun.

Then you obviously have not been out there dating as a divorced woman with kids. Many, many men do not want to deal with other peoples children. Men in their forties are at the peaks of their career and "distinguished looking". Women in their forties . . .

I'm posting this not to be mean, but to encourage women who are thinking of leaving for vague "I'm not in love" reasons to really think about what the reality will look like.

Actually I am a divorced 40+ woman with kids. I'm leery of dating still but when I have made forays there were plenty of interested men. But then, I'm not looking to remarry so maybe that's the reason we've had different experiences. My friend though routinely breaks up with guys because they want to get too serious.

The caliber of available men obviously is not enough to interest her in the long-term. This is to be expected in mid-40s, although there will always be outliers.

She says she's not interested in long-term with anyone. Believe me, if you have a bad enough marriage it will turn you off of the whole concept. She's in her forties and dates guys in their thirties, mainly because they're fun and better in bed. That is one of the sad realities of older men - they may not be able to get it up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The Onion: New Mommy A Lot Prettier
http://www.theonion.com/articles/new-mommy-a-lot-prettier,1512/

Ha! Funny. Thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The statistics speak for themselves - more men remarry.

The women who do are probably the younger, prettier, more vivacious ones to begin with. An overweight SAHM is going to find it virtually impossible to compete.

You're attaching causality to a statistic that is just correlation. In my limited experience I can tell you men in their forties are much more desirous of a serious committed relationship than women in the same age group. It is a complete reversal of what I saw in my twenties with men being commitment-shy and women pushing for the ring.

Personally, I think the main reason women get married is to have kids with a partner. If that relationship ends, there's really no need to marry again. Eslecially of the women did all the work in the marriage, why go through that again? The overweight SAHM in your scenario is more likely to lick her wounds, lose weight and enjoy being single. Once the pressure is off to find a good father for your kids, dating becomes fun.

Then you obviously have not been out there dating as a divorced woman with kids. Many, many men do not want to deal with other peoples children. Men in their forties are at the peaks of their career and "distinguished looking". Women in their forties . . .

I'm posting this not to be mean, but to encourage women who are thinking of leaving for vague "I'm not in love" reasons to really think about what the reality will look like.

Actually I am a divorced 40+ woman with kids. I'm leery of dating still but when I have made forays there were plenty of interested men. But then, I'm not looking to remarry so maybe that's the reason we've had different experiences. My friend though routinely breaks up with guys because they want to get too serious.

The caliber of available men obviously is not enough to interest her in the long-term. This is to be expected in mid-40s, although there will always be outliers.

She says she's not interested in long-term with anyone. Believe me, if you have a bad enough marriage it will turn you off of the whole concept. She's in her forties and dates guys in their thirties, mainly because they're fun and better in bed. That is one of the sad realities of older men - they may not be able to get it up.

Same with my mom. She is 54 and recently one of her guy friends tried to set her up with a 42 year old (I guess he thought she was in her mid 40s!). She has PLENTY of opportunity and gets hit on a lot. But she is relishing her independence and has to real desire to get back into it.

Contrast this to my father, who seems so much more desperate, constantly on dating sites and such, but can't seem to find a woman who wants to be with him long term.

Seems like my mom has a way easier time of it with much more opportunity.

[Anonymous]

When Angelina Jolie divorced Billy Bob Thorton, she definitely upgraded to Brad Pitt.

Katy Perry upgraded from Russell Brand to John Mayer.

[Anonymous]

Looks like everyone is happy based on all these posts.

Lots of divorced women who are able to "upgrade" or are very happy single. And plenty of older men who seem to have no difficulty in getting a younger woman.

About the only exception based on this thread is my ex who is bitter years after our divorce because I left her for another woman. I guess there aren't men beating down her door although she is attractive, educated, well-employed and fairly well-off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Looks like everyone is happy based on all these posts.

Lots of divorced women who are able to "upgrade" or are very happy single. And plenty of older men who seem to have no difficulty in getting a younger woman.

About the only exception based on this thread is my ex who is bitter years after our divorce because I left her for another woman. I guess there aren't men beating down her door although she is attractive, educated, well-employed and fairly well-off.

Oh I think bitterness towards the ex is an entirely separate beast. She needs to let go and move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The statistics speak for themselves - more men remarry.

The women who do are probably the younger, prettier, more vivacious ones to begin with. An overweight SAHM is going to find it virtually impossible to compete.

You're attaching causality to a statistic that is just correlation. In my limited experience I can tell you men in their forties are much more desirous of a serious committed relationship than women in the same age group. It is a complete reversal of what I saw in my twenties with men being commitment-shy and women pushing for the ring.

Personally, I think the main reason women get married is to have kids with a partner. If that relationship ends, there's really no need to marry again. Eslecially of the women did all the work in the marriage, why go through that again? The overweight SAHM in your scenario is more likely to lick her wounds, lose weight and enjoy being single. Once the pressure is off to find a good father for your kids, dating becomes fun.

Then you obviously have not been out there dating as a divorced woman with kids. Many, many men do not want to deal with other peoples children. Men in their forties are at the peaks of their career and "distinguished looking". Women in their forties . . .

I'm posting this not to be mean, but to encourage women who are thinking of leaving for vague "I'm not in love" reasons to really think about what the reality will look like.

Actually I am a divorced 40+ woman with kids. I'm leery of dating still but when I have made forays there were plenty of interested men. But then, I'm not looking to remarry so maybe that's the reason we've had different experiences. My friend though routinely breaks up with guys because they want to get too serious.

The caliber of available men obviously is not enough to interest her in the long-term. This is to be expected in mid-40s, although there will always be outliers.

She says she's not interested in long-term with anyone. Believe me, if you have a bad enough marriage it will turn you off of the whole concept. She's in her forties and dates guys in their thirties, mainly because they're fun and better in bed. That is one of the sad realities of older men - they may not be able to get it up.

Nobody really knows if she means it. In my experience, no matter how bad the previous marriage was, if a girl sees a real catch... out goes her independence I am sure your friend does her best with what she's got. Doesn't mean she wouldn't make other choices if she had them.

[Anonymous]

Middle-aged men have an edge over middle-aged women, just like young women have the edge over young men.

But men tend to hit "old age" harder than women. Most guys in their 60s are half dead, where women tend to be healthier at that age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think you're talking about people in my situation, but I definitely upgraded. Was married to an abusive guy with a dead end job and left him two years ago. Reconnected with an old flame and am now a SAHM - my husband now is a better person, better looking, taller, makes more money, is more intelligent (etc. etc.). I'm 29.

Congratulations, but it would have been tougher if you had divorced at 37 or 47. A 27 year old woman without kids is still in her prime.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The statistics speak for themselves - more men remarry.

The women who do are probably the younger, prettier, more vivacious ones to begin with. An overweight SAHM is going to find it virtually impossible to compete.

You're attaching causality to a statistic that is just correlation. In my limited experience I can tell you men in their forties are much more desirous of a serious committed relationship than women in the same age group. It is a complete reversal of what I saw in my twenties with men being commitment-shy and women pushing for the ring.

Personally, I think the main reason women get married is to have kids with a partner. If that relationship ends, there's really no need to marry again. Eslecially of the women did all the work in the marriage, why go through that again? The overweight SAHM in your scenario is more likely to lick her wounds, lose weight and enjoy being single. Once the pressure is off to find a good father for your kids, dating becomes fun.

Then you obviously have not been out there dating as a divorced woman with kids. Many, many men do not want to deal with other peoples children. Men in their forties are at the peaks of their career and "distinguished looking". Women in their forties . . .

I'm posting this not to be mean, but to encourage women who are thinking of leaving for vague "I'm not in love" reasons to really think about what the reality will look like.

Actually I am a divorced 40+ woman with kids. I'm leery of dating still but when I have made forays there were plenty of interested men. But then, I'm not looking to remarry so maybe that's the reason we've had different experiences. My friend though routinely breaks up with guys because they want to get too serious.

The caliber of available men obviously is not enough to interest her in the long-term. This is to be expected in mid-40s, although there will always be outliers.

She says she's not interested in long-term with anyone. Believe me, if you have a bad enough marriage it will turn you off of the whole concept. She's in her forties and dates guys in their thirties, mainly because they're fun and better in bed. That is one of the sad realities of older men - they may not be able to get it up.

Very true which is why I never understand why a 30yr old woman would marry a 45yr old Man. That's when the penis starts to go downhill. Then she ends up 40, horny as hell and he's 55 and limp. I suppose that's when she starts fucking someone else and the cycle begins again