Anonymous wrote:I think it's more a cultural or regional thing. White southerners are far stricter and hold their kids to higher standards of decorum to NE white people. They are more likely to spank their kids. I grew up in both regions and as a kid noticed a huge difference. African Americans tend to have southern roots. It's the same culture in many ways.

I'm not in favor of hitting kids in any way. But I do think a lot of times African American kids are nicer to their elders than white kids in this city. Even putting aside spanking, I think African American parents are just not as likely to put up with insolence, poor behavior, rolling eyes, etc.

And I'm white, FYI.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a white mom and my toddler has slapped me. He goes in time out. Hitting a child is only reinforcing violence, not detering it. My parents beat the crap out of me. I feared them. I'm not doing that to my children.

Sounds like a promising young psychopath you're raising. Have fun visiting him in prison!

+1

Really? You're nuts. The kid is a TODDLER. Anyone who says their toddler HASN'T hit is lying. Now, if your 5 year old did it, that's another story.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a white mom and my toddler has slapped me. He goes in time out. Hitting a child is only reinforcing violence, not detering it. My parents beat the crap out of me. I feared them. I'm not doing that to my children.

Sounds like a promising young psychopath you're raising. Have fun visiting him in prison!

+1

Really? You're nuts. The kid is a TODDLER. Anyone who says their toddler HASN'T hit is lying. Now, if your 5 year old did it, that's another story.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a white mom and my toddler has slapped me. He goes in time out. Hitting a child is only reinforcing violence, not detering it. My parents beat the crap out of me. I feared them. I'm not doing that to my children.

Sounds like a promising young psychopath you're raising. Have fun visiting him in prison!

+1

Really? You're nuts. The kid is a TODDLER. Anyone who says their toddler HASN'T hit is lying. Now, if your 5 year old did it, that's another story.

I have three kids. None of them ever hit, not even as a toddler.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a white mom and my toddler has slapped me. He goes in time out. Hitting a child is only reinforcing violence, not detering it. My parents beat the crap out of me. I feared them. I'm not doing that to my children.

Sounds like a promising young psychopath you're raising. Have fun visiting him in prison!

+1

Really? You're nuts. The kid is a TODDLER. Anyone who says their toddler HASN'T hit is lying. Now, if your 5 year old did it, that's another story.

I have three kids. None of them ever hit, not even as a toddler.

That's great. But most toddlers do hit. They lack the verbal skills to talk through emotions, so they act out physically. Very normal. Hitting the child back is wrong and does not teach the child hitting is wrong. Mad parents, you enable the child - not by reasoning (because they really don't understand it at this age) but by consequences. A consequence from hitting can be a time our, sitting on the think about it chair, go to their room until they calm down.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a white mom and my toddler has slapped me. He goes in time out. Hitting a child is only reinforcing violence, not detering it. My parents beat the crap out of me. I feared them. I'm not doing that to my children.

Sounds like a promising young psychopath you're raising. Have fun visiting him in prison!

+1

Really? You're nuts. The kid is a TODDLER. Anyone who says their toddler HASN'T hit is lying. Now, if your 5 year old did it, that's another story.

I was sitting at a restaurant in Cleveland Park when my friend's six year old slapped the shit out of my friend. Well, not actually. But, she clocked my friend pretty hard across the face. I looked in amazement waiting for my girlfriend to excuse herself and take the kid to the restroom. It didn't happen. My girlfriend tried compromising with a six year old, until the kid struck her again. Finally, the father got up and took the kid from the table, kicking and screaming. I looked at my six year old and said, " don't even think about pulling that act". I felt sorry for my friend. That child is now a very bright, smart, precocious, disrespectful ten-year old that many have no desire to be around for long periods of time.

Anonymous wrote:I'm Black(medium-well), and I was raised by my dad and "Spare not the rod" stepmother, the latter who beat me in the name of Jesus with any and everything she could get her hands on. At 8yo I got the courage to jump and punch her in the face. Fast forward 22 years I still have no regrets about doing that. Anyway, I can't imagine why would someone physically harm a person that they claim to love. Also, raising a young AA child I don't want him to get the impression that it is ok to attack someone that you felt has commited an infraction. What type of example would I be setting by beating him?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a white mom and my toddler has slapped me. He goes in time out. Hitting a child is only reinforcing violence, not detering it. My parents beat the crap out of me. I feared them. I'm not doing that to my children.

Sounds like a promising young psychopath you're raising. Have fun visiting him in prison!

+1

Really? You're nuts. The kid is a TODDLER. Anyone who says their toddler HASN'T hit is lying. Now, if your 5 year old did it, that's another story.

I was sitting at a restaurant in Cleveland Park when my friend's six year old slapped the shit out of my friend. Well, not actually. But, she clocked my friend pretty hard across the face. I looked in amazement waiting for my girlfriend to excuse herself and take the kid to the restroom. It didn't happen. My girlfriend tried compromising with a six year old, until the kid struck her again. Finally, the father got up and took the kid from the table, kicking and screaming. I looked at my six year old and said, " don't even think about pulling that act". I felt sorry for my friend. That child is now a very bright, smart, precocious, disrespectful ten-year old that many have no desire to be around for long periods of time.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm Black(medium-well), and I was raised by my dad and "Spare not the rod" stepmother, the latter who beat me in the name of Jesus with any and everything she could get her hands on. At 8yo I got the courage to jump and punch her in the face. Fast forward 22 years I still have no regrets about doing that. Anyway, I can't imagine why would someone physically harm a person that they claim to love. Also, raising a young AA child I don't want him to get the impression that it is ok to attack someone that you felt has commited an infraction. What type of example would I be setting by beating him?

You were abused/beaten, not spanked. Why do so many anti-spankers not get the difference?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a white mom and my toddler has slapped me. He goes in time out. Hitting a child is only reinforcing violence, not detering it. My parents beat the crap out of me. I feared them. I'm not doing that to my children.

Sounds like a promising young psychopath you're raising. Have fun visiting him in prison!

+1

Really? You're nuts. The kid is a TODDLER. Anyone who says their toddler HASN'T hit is lying. Now, if your 5 year old did it, that's another story.

I was sitting at a restaurant in Cleveland Park when my friend's six year old slapped the shit out of my friend. Well, not actually. But, she clocked my friend pretty hard across the face. I looked in amazement waiting for my girlfriend to excuse herself and take the kid to the restroom. It didn't happen. My girlfriend tried compromising with a six year old, until the kid struck her again. Finally, the father got up and took the kid from the table, kicking and screaming. I looked at my six year old and said, " don't even think about pulling that act". I felt sorry for my friend. That child is now a very bright, smart, precocious, disrespectful ten-year old that many have no desire to be around for long periods of time.

Sounds like every "gifted" child I've ever had the misfortune to come across.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's more a cultural or regional thing. White southerners are far stricter and hold their kids to higher standards of decorum to NE white people. They are more likely to spank their kids. I grew up in both regions and as a kid noticed a huge difference. African Americans tend to have southern roots. It's the same culture in many ways.

I'm not in favor of hitting kids in any way. But I do think a lot of times African American kids are nicer to their elders than white kids in this city. Even putting aside spanking, I think African American parents are just not as likely to put up with insolence, poor behavior, rolling eyes, etc.

And I'm white, FYI.

I agree. This has been my (anecdotal) experience as well. I am Asian.

Anonymous wrote:Yup AA mom here. I do not spank my DCs but I do not tolerate bad behavior in public. I am all fun and games to a point but they know there is a line. Hitting, being rude to adults falling out on the ground are all things they have done once or twice. I think that kids know what an adult will tolerate. When one of DC fell out on the floor in a tantrum at a birthday party (without cause) it was the nuclear option the first time. We left. No yelling, etc. we just left. I don't negotiate with terrorists

Anonymous wrote:Yup AA mom here. I do not spank my DCs but I do not tolerate bad behavior in public. I am all fun and games to a point but they know there is a line. Hitting, being rude to adults falling out on the ground are all things they have done once or twice. I think that kids know what an adult will tolerate. When one of DC fell out on the floor in a tantrum at a birthday party (without cause) it was the nuclear option the first time. We left. No yelling, etc. we just left. I don't negotiate with terrorists

To be fair, in private, I am a little more lenient. But I am always thinking about the lack of slack AA kids get in the world so my standards have to be high.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's more a cultural or regional thing. White southerners are far stricter and hold their kids to higher standards of decorum to NE white people. They are more likely to spank their kids. I grew up in both regions and as a kid noticed a huge difference. African Americans tend to have southern roots. It's the same culture in many ways.

I'm not in favor of hitting kids in any way. But I do think a lot of times African American kids are nicer to their elders than white kids in this city. Even putting aside spanking, I think African American parents are just not as likely to put up with insolence, poor behavior, rolling eyes, etc.

And I'm white, FYI.

I agree. This has been my (anecdotal) experience as well. I am Asian.

Anonymous wrote:In my neighborhood I see a lot of very white moms getting ignored, hit, and yelled at and yanked by their (I assume) children. It's disrespectful behavior where moms are getting marginalized. By kids that are like one and two year old, and up from there. They are often very upset over what seems to be stuff moms do--like trying to keep their kids from making noise on the street. I often am so horrified I want to say something, but I have been biting my tongue. Is this an white thing? I live in a white neighborhood. I am not trying to get racist here but I don't feel comfortable asking anyone I know who might have insight about these situations.