White moms and discipline

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

jsteele wrote:Careful OP, I have blood on my hands and I'm not afraid to use them.

In, Jeff. Blood in your hands. Just like all living creatures.

Unless he's a zombie. We all must be vigilant against zombies. Its only a matter of time.

So that's why the easter thread had to come down... we're on to you now!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's more a cultural or regional thing. White southerners are far stricter and hold their kids to higher standards of decorum to NE white people. They are more likely to spank their kids. I grew up in both regions and as a kid noticed a huge difference. African Americans tend to have southern roots. It's the same culture in many ways.

I'm not in favor of hitting kids in any way. But I do think a lot of times African American kids are nicer to their elders than white kids in this city. Even putting aside spanking, I think African American parents are just not as likely to put up with insolence, poor behavior, rolling eyes, etc.

And I'm white, FYI.

NP, statistics to back your perception below. Maybe this is why there is still some form of Southern Hospitality?

"While there are laws against child abuse, it's legal in all 50 states for parents to hit their children, and for schools in 19 states to physically punish kids. About 80% of American parents said they've hit their young children, and about 100,000 kids are paddled in U.S. schools every year, researchers said."



Reference:

Study: Spanked Kids May Grow Up to Be Happier, More Successful
http://www.foxnews.com/story/2010/01/04/study-spanked-children-may-grow-up-to-be-happier-more-successful/

9 States Where the Most Kids Get Spanked at School
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/11/13/corporal-punishment-statistics_n_4262304.html

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

jsteele wrote:Careful OP, I have blood on my hands and I'm not afraid to use them.

Ha!

I'm not the OP, but what does this mean….? This thread seems to have been derailed and turned in to a weird zombie post rather than answering the OP's question - not that I give her post too much credit since I think it's a bit out of touch - bad parenting is something that happens in every race….but, did I miss something with Jeff's response?

It's a reference to a thread in another forum about the shooting at the National Zoo.

FINALLY someone gets it. Just flipping the script here! http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/379359.page

sat·ire
?sa?t?r/Submit
noun
1. the use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people's stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical issues.

I think most posters got it...

Indeed. Mostly because it isn't very good satire.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a white mom and my toddler has slapped me. He goes in time out. Hitting a child is only reinforcing violence, not detering it. My parents beat the crap out of me. I feared them. I'm not doing that to my children.

That is abuse. Not discipline.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I prefer to be called Beige, not "white". Get your terms right OP

WAIT. I thought white and black were preferred because we are not all from africa, the caucaus mountains or europe??
SIGH. I'm SO confused now.

[Anonymous]

I'm Black(medium-well), and I was raised by my dad and "Spare not the rod" stepmother, the latter who beat me in the name of Jesus with any and everything she could get her hands on. At 8yo I got the courage to jump and punch her in the face. Fast forward 22 years I still have no regrets about doing that. Anyway, I can't imagine why would someone physically harm a person that they claim to love. Also, raising a young AA child I don't want him to get the impression that it is ok to attack someone that you felt has commited an infraction. What type of example would I be setting by beating him?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a white mom and my toddler has slapped me. He goes in time out. Hitting a child is only reinforcing violence, not detering it. My parents beat the crap out of me. I feared them. I'm not doing that to my children.

That is abuse. Not discipline.

So, being hit for spilling milk - is that discipline or abuse? Slapped for rolling my eyes- Discipline or abuse? It's all in the eyes of the beholder.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a white mom and my toddler has slapped me. He goes in time out. Hitting a child is only reinforcing violence, not detering it. My parents beat the crap out of me. I feared them. I'm not doing that to my children.

You probably never slapped your mom either.....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a white mom and my toddler has slapped me. He goes in time out. Hitting a child is only reinforcing violence, not detering it. My parents beat the crap out of me. I feared them. I'm not doing that to my children.

Sounds like a promising young psychopath you're raising. Have fun visiting him in prison!

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

jsteele wrote:Careful OP, I have blood on my hands and I'm not afraid to use them.

Ha!

I'm not the OP, but what does this mean….? This thread seems to have been derailed and turned in to a weird zombie post rather than answering the OP's question - not that I give her post too much credit since I think it's a bit out of touch - bad parenting is something that happens in every race….but, did I miss something with Jeff's response?

It's a reference to a thread in another forum about the shooting at the National Zoo.

FINALLY someone gets it. Just flipping the script here! http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/379359.page

sat·ire
?sa?t?r/Submit
noun
1. the use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people's stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical issues.

I think most posters got it...

Indeed. Mostly because it isn't very good satire.

Cry me a river.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm Black(medium-well), and I was raised by my dad and "Spare not the rod" stepmother, the latter who beat me in the name of Jesus with any and everything she could get her hands on. At 8yo I got the courage to jump and punch her in the face. Fast forward 22 years I still have no regrets about doing that. Anyway, I can't imagine why would someone physically harm a person that they claim to love. Also, raising a young AA child I don't want him to get the impression that it is ok to attack someone that you felt has commited an infraction. What type of example would I be setting by beating him?

This is also abuse. Not discipline. I'm sorry you experienced it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know this is for all intents and purposes a retaliative thread in response to the one about black moms and hitting, but if I may be so bold and inject some seriousness into the discussion...

In my observation of white mothers while I can't say with a straight face that I constantly see them getting beat up and cursed out by their kids, I can say in all seriousness that from my observations white mothers seem to be incredibly lenient when it comes to their children.
To me, white mothers seem far more dismissive of deliberate acts of defiance and disrespect than women of other races and also white mothers seem far more indifferent of inappropriate behavior than women of other races.
When I stopped to think about my observations and the impressions that I have as a result it initially confounded me because I've seen this kind of blasé attitude from white moms of various backgrounds - those from the east coast and west coast in the north and south those that are rich those that are poor those that are catholic those that are protestant...didn't matter. I was totally stumped. Why...why...why...and then finally it hit me and all I could do was laugh because the answer was so simple.

White privilege.

That shit starts from birth lol. Mommy indoctrinates her infants from jump and gets them geared toward that proud pale mindset that they are irreproachable and exempt from any and all accountability.

+1

Well said!

[Anonymous]

I wonder if there is anyone who ever saw spanking as a form of discipline, without it turning into abuse. Perhaps that is everyone's fear around it -- that it can be a bridge to abuse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a white mom and my toddler has slapped me. He goes in time out. Hitting a child is only reinforcing violence, not detering it. My parents beat the crap out of me. I feared them. I'm not doing that to my children.

Sounds like a promising young psychopath you're raising. Have fun visiting him in prison!

+1

Really? You're nuts. The kid is a TODDLER. Anyone who says their toddler HASN'T hit is lying. Now, if your 5 year old did it, that's another story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a white mom and my toddler has slapped me. He goes in time out. Hitting a child is only reinforcing violence, not detering it. My parents beat the crap out of me. I feared them. I'm not doing that to my children.

Sounds like a promising young psychopath you're raising. Have fun visiting him in prison!

+1

Really? You're nuts. The kid is a TODDLER. Anyone who says their toddler HASN'T hit is lying. Now, if your 5 year old did it, that's another story.

I agree. All toddlers will try it once. Whether they continue into pre-school/kindergarten.....well, that is another story.