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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Yup AA mom here.  I do not spank my DCs but I do not tolerate bad behavior in public.  I am all fun and games to a point but they know there is a line. Hitting, being rude to adults falling out on the ground are all things they have done [b]once or twice[/b].  I think that kids know what an adult will tolerate. When one of DC fell out on the floor in a tantrum at a birthday party (without cause) it was the nuclear option the first time. We left. No yelling, etc. we just left. I don't negotiate with terrorists :-)
[/quote]

In my experience middle class white parents and middle class black parents meet with different parenting expectations within their respective racial communities.  When in a group of predominantly African American there tends to be an expectation that parents will be strict (quickly shut down yelling, roughhousing, getting dirty, acting silly, and definitely talking back).  Among white parents I find that giving a child a hard look, isolating the child, telling a child not to do that because the child will get dirty is all seen as overly punitive, looked down up, and just makes other white parents uncomfortable.  I find that I'm less strict with my child when we are around other white parents because I don't want to have other parents talking about how I'm horrible to my child.

Personally I think kids turn out fine with more permissive or more strict parents as long as those styles aren't taken to an extreme.[/quote]

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