Anonymous wrote:I went though this with my ex, and briefly blamed myself (not good enough in bed, not sexy enough, etc.). Then I was just confused. It finally took counseling for me to learn that he was really bad at expressing his deepest feelings and that he'd secretly been harboring resentment towards me for a long time, which made him not want to have sex with me.

Anonymous wrote:>>It is much easier for a man to whack off in front of the computer than taking a living, breathing woman and turn her on.<<

True. But, in the case of a woman who can turn herself on, or who is turned on by you being turned on by her; it's a whole lot more fun to be with her than looking at pictures.

If, on the other hand, to turn her on, you need to say the exact right thing at the exact right time, never say anything wrong, and pray something random and out of your control doesn't ruin your efforts, then porn is a lot more reliable.

Anonymous wrote:I went though this with my ex, and briefly blamed myself (not good enough in bed, not sexy enough, etc.). Then I was just confused. It finally took counseling for me to learn that he was really bad at expressing his deepest feelings and that he'd secretly been harboring resentment towards me for a long time, which made him not want to have sex with me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are your husbands secretly using porn? Habitual use of porn can make a man unable to perform/respond to an actual person.

Yep, that's part of it for me. A little porn is fine though, I don't think it is excessive but of course he could be lying.

I think sometimes for men it is easier to get themselves off on their own than deal with a relationship with a woman. And that's fine, but I and other PPs don't have to stick around for it. He can spend the rest of his life in front of a computer, but I'm interested in intimacy and sex with a real person.

We all like to say, oh its porn no big deal, only prudes don't like it but it affects more marriages than people think. It has been proven that porn can be as addictive as cocaine. It is much easier for a man to whack off in front of the computer than taking a living, breathing woman and turn her on.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are your husbands secretly using porn? Habitual use of porn can make a man unable to perform/respond to an actual person.

Yep, that's part of it for me. A little porn is fine though, I don't think it is excessive but of course he could be lying.

I think sometimes for men it is easier to get themselves off on their own than deal with a relationship with a woman. And that's fine, but I and other PPs don't have to stick around for it. He can spend the rest of his life in front of a computer, but I'm interested in intimacy and sex with a real person.

We all like to say, oh its porn no big deal, only prudes don't like it but it affects more marriages than people think. It has been proven that porn can be as addictive as cocaine. It is much easier for a man to whack off in front of the computer than taking a living, breathing woman and turn her on.

What about the husband (like mine) who watches porn AND after 14 years is still all over me like a 16 year old boy? I pratically have to wrap myself up like a mummy before I go to sleep, as to not get accosted. I think I give him enough sex, around 3xs a week, but he's always ready. God knows how often he jerks off!

Anonymous wrote:Glad to know I am not alone although sad to see so many others in the same boat as me. DH and I have not had sex in almost two years. Part of that time I was pregnant but there was no interest on his part during or since. It is really depressing and it makes me really angry too. If I had the opportunity to find someone to cheat with I would. I really would and that is sad. I feel totally unattractive at this point and therefore, do not think I will even find someone for a fling. :o(

Anonymous wrote:I went though 4 years of sexless marriage before I found someone on the side....... It is amazing to have sex again and I can't believe I missed out for all that time...... But not a perfect solution since ideally I'd like husband to be my lover..... But he has zero interest!!!

Anonymous wrote:Friend of mine was just commenting that he thought it was so much easier for SAHMs inclined to cheat these days; particularly if their kids are of school age. 5 hours a day alone and, as a woman, a much easier time finding a willing sex partner. I'd have to agree.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Friend of mine was just commenting that he thought it was so much easier for SAHMs inclined to cheat these days; particularly if their kids are of school age. 5 hours a day alone and, as a woman, a much easier time finding a willing sex partner. I'd have to agree.

SAHM here -

The reality doesn't measure up to the fantasy. A friend once told me "Don't poop where you eat." I am alone most of the day but I would never have a guy come to my home for an affair.

The other issue, she is home alone for a reason. All the men with jobs are at work. Where is she going to find someone to have a fling with?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Friend of mine was just commenting that he thought it was so much easier for SAHMs inclined to cheat these days; particularly if their kids are of school age. 5 hours a day alone and, as a woman, a much easier time finding a willing sex partner. I'd have to agree.

SAHM here -

The reality doesn't measure up to the fantasy. A friend once told me "Don't poop where you eat." I am alone most of the day but I would never have a guy come to my home for an affair.

The other issue, she is home alone for a reason. All the men with jobs are at work. Where is she going to find someone to have a fling with?

Anonymous wrote:Which gym??