People who can't handle as many kids as they have:

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[Post New]04/27/2011 16:08
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:That said, when I read this, I think of the post about the mom who left 2 sleeping babies/toddlers in her car while she watched her other kids' dance class. If you're doing that, you have more kids than you can handle.


Her problem was a complete lack of good judgment. Stay home with your kids and skip the dance class if you don't have the help to watch the other two; problem solved.

OP: please go crawl back in your hole. You won't have to bother helping anyone else there.

[Post New]04/27/2011 16:12
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Why did you have so many? There have been a couple of posts addressing this. I am genuinely curious. No, I'm not trying to be a troll. I just need to know if you really, truly thought you could handle as many kids (no matter what the number); or did you really think you could depend on everyone else to bail you out. A lot of you have family nearby that is helpful to you. I do not. So why do you think it is okay or that somehow I have it easier than you? WTF? I really want to know. Save the snarky responses please, I did not mean to invite them. I am just offended, as I would love to have more kids, but I know doing so would require bothering everyone else around me to "help", which I just can't bring myself to do, since I decided to have the kids to begin with. I suppose I would feel differently if I had helpful family nearby, and did not have problems (which are none of your business) of my own to address. But why?


I do have plenty of family around. I have two and I feel that is all I can handle. I have never asked friends for help---nor do I burden my family often 'to help'.

That said-- I have helped out with numerous neighbors and friends in the area who do not have family in the area. I WAH and have flexibility and if they are in a true pinch---as a friend---I dive right into help. We also are each other's 'school emergency contacts', etc. When my one friend had a medical emergency and was in the hospital...her child came to stay with us for a week. I have run to the bus stop to pick up a friend's kid when they were stuck in traffic. I know my friends would do the same for me.

It takes a village, honey.

I am grateful to be asked actually...particularly because I know some of these moms would not leave their kids with just anyone.
[Post New]04/27/2011 16:14
Anonymous
I wish I lived in a neighborhood where people helped their neighbors with their kids. that would be heaven.
[Post New]04/27/2011 16:28
Anonymous
This has to be linked to the car pooling discussion. All I know is that my 15 month old has been so much work that we've questioned having another child. Not to mention affording another child. I have so much on my plate balancing everything - FT job, being a wife, trying to keep up my outside interests. I manage to execute, but many a day I'm working hard to hide my frazzled state. If I have another kid I can't go into it expecting help from The Village. If help comes then I would be grateful, but you can't go into it expecting everyone to care about your situation and help out. (See the Car Pool discussion for lady-being-treated-like-a-doormat-while-being-a-selfless-Village Member).
[Post New]04/27/2011 16:39
Anonymous
Op, I am not sure why you think that there is something wrong with asking for help. Why do was as parents have to tackle every task in isolation. I am not saying that you should use your neighbors and friends as your regular sitter but there is nothing wrong with asking for assistance when you are in jam.
[Post New]04/27/2011 16:39
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I wish I lived in a neighborhood where people helped their neighbors with their kids. that would be heaven.


Move to AU Park.
[Post New]04/27/2011 16:47
Anonymous
OP, do think it is wrong/bad to ask for help? I must admit I didn't clearly understand what I was getting into by having my kids 23 months apart. You really don't know until you live it. I didn't know what type of personality dc#2 would have! It is ok to ask for help. Likewise, you can decline to help too.
[Post New]04/27/2011 17:24
cuzimawesome
Member Offline
OP, are you the clemyjontri poster? You're taking this way too hard. You're bringing all this criticism on yourself.

You just need to let it go.

On any given day some people might think I have more kids than I can handle. On any given day, some people might think I'm super mom. It. Just. Depends. People have good days and people have bad days. It's pretty amazing that you would judge a mom based on one event that you witnessed.



[Post New]04/27/2011 17:31
Anonymous
What's wrong with people helping each other out? Seems like a perfectly normal and healthy way to live to me. (And i speak as a single mom with no help. I am always the one people call when they need help themselves, which is a bit ironic, but such is life.)
[Post New]04/27/2011 18:07
Anonymous
OP here. We had four "screamers" ie: trying, difficult infants. No help. We have family nearby, which makes it worse. The family happens to be extremely selfish, bitter and not any help, which is hard for most normal people to believe (this is a small part of a long story that believe it or not, has absolutely nothing to do with me). It was our choice to have four kids. It was not my neighbors or friends choice. If there is an emergency, like I said, I would ask. But to ask someone without an emergency, makes no sense. Then what if there is a true emergency?

Juggling carpool and nap? That is an emergency? Are you serious?

Why are the ones with helpful family always the ones to expect, expect, expect? Can't they be grateful for what they have? Why must they drain others?

Maybe we should have more kids with the expectation to get "free help" from whatever sucker will give it? I would imagine that this would be very much one way, from those who I have seen expecting it. If you ask the "askers" for something, it's like you asked them to move the earth. This is what I have seen consistently, not necessarily with me, so it has nothing to do with where you (so profoundly? put) think I should "go".

Again, I am happy to help in a true emergency, as are most people I know. So yes, I consider myself blessed. I also take pride in teaching my kids to be self sufficient.
[Post New]04/27/2011 18:08
Anonymous
OP again. No I'm not the Clemy poster. And this is not a one time occurrence. It is about the people who feel entitled.
[Post New]04/27/2011 18:18
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:OP again. No I'm not the Clemy poster. And this is not a one time occurrence. It is about the people who feel entitled.


Yes and about the moms who let their kids run rampant like little devils because they cannot be bothered with them. Do you know how many times I have been at the mall and a mom is shopping with her 3 or 4 kids and letting them rip clothing off the shelves, run around like hooligans, and she says not one word. God forbid she actually stops them.

This is the entitiled and rude behavior that is exhibited all the time. If you are not going to discipline and teach your children how the behave why have them? They will turn into the spoiled brat the "entitled mom" is.
[Post New]04/27/2011 19:42
Anonymous
OP again. No I'm not the Clemy poster. And this is not a one time occurrence. It is about the people who feel entitled.



Yes and about the moms who let their kids run rampant like little devils because they cannot be bothered with them. Do you know how many times I have been at the mall and a mom is shopping with her 3 or 4 kids and letting them rip clothing off the shelves, run around like hooligans, and she says not one word. God forbid she actually stops them.

This is the entitiled and rude behavior that is exhibited all the time. If you are not going to discipline and teach your children how the behave why have them? They will turn into the spoiled brat the "entitled mom" is.


Where do you shop? I've never seen this. Certainly not all the time. I mean of course I've seen kids misbehaving in stores, but one mom surrounded by wild children tearing up a store? Get real.


[Post New]04/27/2011 19:46
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
OP again. No I'm not the Clemy poster. And this is not a one time occurrence. It is about the people who feel entitled.



Yes and about the moms who let their kids run rampant like little devils because they cannot be bothered with them. Do you know how many times I have been at the mall and a mom is shopping with her 3 or 4 kids and letting them rip clothing off the shelves, run around like hooligans, and she says not one word. God forbid she actually stops them.

This is the entitiled and rude behavior that is exhibited all the time. If you are not going to discipline and teach your children how the behave why have them? They will turn into the spoiled brat the "entitled mom" is.


Where do you shop? I've never seen this. Certainly not all the time. I mean of course I've seen kids misbehaving in stores, but one mom surrounded by wild children tearing up a store? Get real.

Get real...hmmmm I am real hun! It happens all the time at Nordstroms in mont. mall, macys, apple store. Seriously do you get out. This womans kids were pulling womens bras and underwear off the racks and tables. Was that you??? Not my problem if you have not seen this. I HAVE!


[Post New]04/27/2011 20:33
Anonymous
OP, sounds like you've got it all figured out. Hope you never have cause to need anything from someone who has no reason to give it to you. You may find out your thoughts and opinions reap what they sow.
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