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People who can't handle as many kids as they have:
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Anonymous
| Why did you have so many? There have been a couple of posts addressing this. I am genuinely curious. No, I'm not trying to be a troll. I just need to know if you really, truly thought you could handle as many kids (no matter what the number); or did you really think you could depend on everyone else to bail you out. A lot of you have family nearby that is helpful to you. I do not. So why do you think it is okay or that somehow I have it easier than you? WTF? I really want to know. Save the snarky responses please, I did not mean to invite them. I am just offended, as I would love to have more kids, but I know doing so would require bothering everyone else around me to "help", which I just can't bring myself to do, since I decided to have the kids to begin with. I suppose I would feel differently if I had helpful family nearby, and did not have problems (which are none of your business) of my own to address. But why? |
Anonymous
|
I don't get this. What is it that offends you so much? If someone is asking for your help that you really don't want to give, then don't help.
I have two kids. I handle them fine most days, sometimes I need help. I know You really aren't asking me. That said, I'm the youngest of 8. No family nearby. Our neighbors helped us, but it wasn't one way. And there were several large families in the neighborhood. I'm sorry these families offend you so Much. Can you tell us why? |
Anonymous
| OP, how would you answer a question like this? |
Anonymous
| Why craft such a self-righteous, snaky message and then ban responders from being snarky? You sound like a true delight. |
Anonymous
| Umm, I know why my mom had 8 kids and almost every other mom had that many --- there was no birth control! Women were taught they had to "please" their husbands...that meant sex on demand. I try hard not to judge other people OP. I often wonder the same thing as you do...but remember I wouldn't be here if my mom and dad only had one or 2 kids. It was a tough childhood raising oneself. |
Anonymous
|
I have two kids that I am raising on my own. Very little support from their father and their Aunt just cut them out of their lives because one is special needs. I can handle it most days but I often feel like it's more than I can handle. I had no idea when I got married and had children that it would have been this way. Thankfully I have great neighbors who help me out when I have scheduling issues or emergency room visits. I couldn't do it without them but I am also there for them as well. I have taken their children in during emergencies, driven them to the hospital, watched one child while the others were in an afternoon class. This is the way it should be because it really does take a village.
That said, I think it would have been much easier to have more children. More children means the kids pair up differently and there is actually less fighting. Not that there isn't fighting. I think it's also better because the older ones often see the littler ones in more of a parental role. The older kids learn about parenting and the younger ones have even more stability and ability to bond because of the older siblings. I grew up in a large family and am constantly in awe of my parents and how they were able to do it. We were all loved, provided for, and had lots of one on one time with them. We are all really close. We moved several times and it was wonderful to have sibling support when starting in a new school and new neighborhood. |
Anonymous
|
Although I think the OP worded her question poorly, I do think it's fair. Although of course, sometimes you want 2 kids and end up with 3 (twins) or 4 (triplets). So it's not always that people choose their exact family size.
That said, when I read this, I think of the post about the mom who left 2 sleeping babies/toddlers in her car while she watched her other kids' dance class. If you're doing that, you have more kids than you can handle. |
Anonymous
| Control of our reproduction is what separates us from the animals. |
Anonymous
| whatever, you are just jealous you can't handle more. And just because family is local doesn't mean they are a help. |
Anonymous
| I think I understand what you are trying to say. A friend just had a baby, this is child number 2. She has always had help with the first one. Either her DH or when he is traveling her mom and dad stay with her. She has never had to care for her daughter by herself over night without another adult. So now she has number two, DH travels and her parents can't help her as much. She is relying on everyone she knows to help her out. In my mind I think she either needs to find the confidence to care for her two kids or hire a helper. Her friends are tired of managing their own households and hers as well because she is unable. These are easy kids as well- they sleep well, eat well and do what she says and yet she is unable to watch them by herself. Its exhausting for the rest of us trying to help her as well. |
Anonymous
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OP is referring to her other post on the General Parenting forum. Some of the moms pointed out that when they bring their children to Clemyjontri, it can be hard to keep tabs on more than one at a time. For example, I brought my 3 year old boy and my 20 month old boy there a year ago and they both high tailed it in different directly.
Apparently, this means I had more children than I could handle. OP is just trying to stir up debate. She can't POSSIBLY (clutching pearls) understand how ANY mother could have a hard time keeping tabs on two toddlers at a large playground. GASP! It is UNHEARD of! Let's just all agree that OP is the best mom ever, with the most superior mothering skills on DCUM. Possibly the whole DC area as a whole. Maybe then she'll be satisfied. |
Anonymous
| 15:51 - should say "high tailed it in different DIRECTIONS." |
Anonymous
| As a woman, this thread makes me weep for our gender. |
Anonymous
I hear ya, Sista! Here's the thing....ppl disagree on the level of 'helicoptering' that is needed. I really think this area is insane in the way children rule the universe. A kid can take a crap without the parents analyzing 40 different ways. Personally-- I had one more child to take the pressure i felt like I was putting on my first. The second child helped me relax in a much-needed way. I am not so intense or uptight...or tiger momish. My kids are more relaxed. They are well-behaved, good kids...but I also want them to have some freedom to be kids and make their own mistakes in life. I don't want to control every moment of their lives. With that said--- a third child would kill me  . I only have the energy for my two...but anyone else that has it in them...go ahead and procreate. I have a sister with three boys who is just amazing. She also isn't as high-strung as me so easily handles chaos better.
Please---- can we end the constant judging? Life is not a competition. Go out and enjoy your own instead of constantly judging everyone elses. |
Anonymous
hear ya, Sista! Here's the thing....ppl disagree on the level of 'helicoptering' that is needed. I really think this area is insane in the way children rule the universe. A kid can take a crap without the parents analyzing 40 different ways. Personally-- I had one more child to take the pressure i felt like I was putting on my first. The second child helped me relax in a much-needed way. I am not so intense or uptight...or tiger momish. My kids are more relaxed. They are well-behaved, good kids...but I also want them to have some freedom to be kids and make their own mistakes in life. I don't want to control every moment of their lives. With that said--- a third child would kill me . I only have the energy for my two...but anyone else that has it in them...go ahead and procreate. I have a sister with three boys who is just amazing. She also isn't as high-strung as me so easily handles chaos better.
Please---- can we end the constant judging? Life is not a competition. Go out and enjoy your own instead of constantly judging everyone elses. |