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Anonymous wrote:If there is 50/50 and you make more, technically you should be paying him child support. He still has to provide a room, clothing, food at his house which you seem to forget and has equal expenses. It doesn't matter how much you spend as he is probably spending the same, if not more if he is paying child support and buying the bigger ticket items like the laptop.
SHHHH. That's not how it works. In DC and most jurisdictions child support is determined by a worksheet that considers both parents' income, expenses, and parenting time. They are a 2 parent home, she's a one parent home and he's paying $350. It's inappropriate for the new wife to be questioning the kid, period. It's also ridiculous how many people are suggesting she's to blame for taking the money that he's been ordered to pay for (presumptively) his first kid. Sounds like he and new wife need to invest in their careers as it's too late to rethink the additional procreation. FOH.
Anonymous wrote:A friend of mine who wishes she could stay at home but can not due to financial reasons. She became annoyed when I informed her I will be working PT.
I will admit, I know we are very blessing financially, but my choosing to work has nothing to do with our finances. I love working, and while I stayed at home for 2 years, I'm reading to transition back into my career, starting small and hoping to up my hours.
I love her dearly and as a friend, it hurt me to hear her scoff me for basically choosing to do what makes me happy. I'd like to think working has many blessings. I will not be as stressed as a mother, and being happy will enable me to function better, and dedicate more time to being the best mother I could possibly be. My friend didn't have time to hear any of this, her comment was abrupt and well to diffuse the situation, I changed topics.
I'm still stewing over this though. Should I call and ask her to meet me to work out this issue?.. I don't want things to get awkward between us. ...
I'm not sure what everyone else's problem is, but I feel your pain. I enjoy working and have a good career and salary, but it's not necessary for our financial survival. Daycare would eat over 1/2 of my salary so we chose a nanny, but I don't have to work. However, I love my career and working DOES make me a more engaged, fulfilled, and happy parent. My kids get the best part of me because I'm more than willing/able to fake it til I make it for 3-4 hours a day. 24/7 would be the OUTSIDE of too much.
I wouldn't say anymore to her except to say that you're sorry she doesn't see it your way. Not everyone has the option to stay home. But I, like you, would generally always choose a career I loved over the SAHM life.
Anonymous wrote:Ok, so.. I broke down and "joined' my birth club. And it's not that bad. There are SO many posts that you can kind of guess which ones are ridiculous and just ignore them (like "anyone guess the gender from their first ultrasound? Using Ramzi?") but there are some legit ones too.
Plus... it's kind of nice to be able to commiserate with rando internet people about anxiety in the first trimester without being told by the DCUM masses to get thyself immediately to therapy.
Lol'ing. I usually lurk but have been active in this my last child's board out of anxiety and stress mostly. Just replying to say every one of my comments usually involves some form of therapy. No escape, sorry.