New wife wants to know about finances

[Anonymous]

Long story short: divorced several years ago, lovely child, that exDH and I adore. ExDH remarries, has a few babies, lives frugally, his parents help him out from time to time.

I have recently found out that new wife has been asking DS about MY finances like how much I make, how much our vacation cost, how much my car costs. Damn, she even asked him how much I paid for his birthday present. Finally, she asked about how much my BF makes. Obviously, DS had no idea because that's smth neither his father or I felt we needed to share with him.

I should mention that the child support exDH pays is very little compared to how much I spend on our child. Yes, I make more than he does, primarily because I invested in my career early on.

Why would she care so much?

[Anonymous]

Rhetorical question or real?


New wife wants their $$ to go toward their kids.

In her mind, your money can go towards your kid with ex.

Simple as that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why would she care so much?

Because she feels poor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Long story short: divorced several years ago, lovely child, that exDH and I adore. ExDH remarries, has a few babies, lives frugally, his parents help him out from time to time.

I have recently found out that new wife has been asking DS about MY finances like how much I make, how much our vacation cost, how much my car costs. Damn, she even asked him how much I paid for his birthday present. Finally, she asked about how much my BF makes. Obviously, DS had no idea because that's smth neither his father or I felt we needed to share with him.

I should mention that the child support exDH pays is very little compared to how much I spend on our child. Yes, I make more than he does, primarily because I invested in my career early on.

Why would she care so much?

Because she would like your exDH to be paying less child support, of course.

Don’t worry about it. If he asks for an adjustment, bring your numbers to court and let them decide. Sounds like you’ll be fine either way.

Do talk to your ex about telling his wife to quit talking to your DS about finances, because it’s not appropriate to put him in in the middle. That’s for your ex to negotiate, though, not you.

[Anonymous]

Why does your ex have to pay child support if he has 50/50 custody and you make so much more?

She's probably just jealous because what your DH spends on your child is probably the same amount he spends on the rest combined.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Long story short: divorced several years ago, lovely child, that exDH and I adore. ExDH remarries, has a few babies, lives frugally, his parents help him out from time to time.

I have recently found out that new wife has been asking DS about MY finances like how much I make, how much our vacation cost, how much my car costs. Damn, she even asked him how much I paid for his birthday present. Finally, she asked about how much my BF makes. Obviously, DS had no idea because that's smth neither his father or I felt we needed to share with him.

I should mention that the child support exDH pays is very little compared to how much I spend on our child. Yes, I make more than he does, primarily because I invested in my career early on.

Why would she care so much?

Because she would like your exDH to be paying less child support, of course.

Don’t worry about it. If he asks for an adjustment, bring your numbers to court and let them decide. Sounds like you’ll be fine either way.

Do talk to your ex about telling his wife to quit talking to your DS about finances, because it’s not appropriate to put him in in the middle. That’s for your ex to negotiate, though, not you.

I don't know how much more we can adjust, unless he stops paying CS altogether. He pays (drum roll) $350/month.

I did talk to exDH about this. He felt uncomfortable and blurted out "oh, she is just tired. She doesn't mean anything by it. Don't be so sensitive."

[Anonymous]

How did you find this out?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would she care so much?

Because she feels poor.

If you feel poor, don't have kids one after another and get to work. I grew up in a poor household. I worked hard to get where I am so that I can give my DS a better start in life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How did you find this out?

DS told me. "Mom, Larla is very curious about what you do, how much you pay for things. Why does she ask me those questions?"

[Anonymous]

She is feeling pinched and is laying the groundwork to reduce or eliminate his CS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Long story short: divorced several years ago, lovely child, that exDH and I adore. ExDH remarries, has a few babies, lives frugally, his parents help him out from time to time.

I have recently found out that new wife has been asking DS about MY finances like how much I make, how much our vacation cost, how much my car costs. Damn, she even asked him how much I paid for his birthday present. Finally, she asked about how much my BF makes. Obviously, DS had no idea because that's smth neither his father or I felt we needed to share with him.

I should mention that the child support exDH pays is very little compared to how much I spend on our child. Yes, I make more than he does, primarily because I invested in my career early on.

Why would she care so much?

Because she would like your exDH to be paying less child support, of course.

Don’t worry about it. If he asks for an adjustment, bring your numbers to court and let them decide. Sounds like you’ll be fine either way.

Do talk to your ex about telling his wife to quit talking to your DS about finances, because it’s not appropriate to put him in in the middle. That’s for your ex to negotiate, though, not you.

I don't know how much more we can adjust, unless he stops paying CS altogether. He pays (drum roll) $350/month.

I did talk to exDH about this. He felt uncomfortable and blurted out "oh, she is just tired. She doesn't mean anything by it. Don't be so sensitive."

But surely your ex also buys him things at their house?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Long story short: divorced several years ago, lovely child, that exDH and I adore. ExDH remarries, has a few babies, lives frugally, his parents help him out from time to time.

I have recently found out that new wife has been asking DS about MY finances like how much I make, how much our vacation cost, how much my car costs. Damn, she even asked him how much I paid for his birthday present. Finally, she asked about how much my BF makes. Obviously, DS had no idea because that's smth neither his father or I felt we needed to share with him.

I should mention that the child support exDH pays is very little compared to how much I spend on our child. Yes, I make more than he does, primarily because I invested in my career early on.

Why would she care so much?

Because she would like your exDH to be paying less child support, of course.

Don’t worry about it. If he asks for an adjustment, bring your numbers to court and let them decide. Sounds like you’ll be fine either way.

Do talk to your ex about telling his wife to quit talking to your DS about finances, because it’s not appropriate to put him in in the middle. That’s for your ex to negotiate, though, not you.

I don't know how much more we can adjust, unless he stops paying CS altogether. He pays (drum roll) $350/month.

I did talk to exDH about this. He felt uncomfortable and blurted out "oh, she is just tired. She doesn't mean anything by it. Don't be so sensitive."

But surely your ex also buys him things at their house?

Define "things". DS comes to him with extra clothes, his own lap top, and even snacks. I bought him 2 linen sets + comforter to take to his Dad's house. Because the ones his new wife gave DS had holes in them. exDH buys food.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why does your ex have to pay child support if he has 50/50 custody and you make so much more?

She's probably just jealous because what your DH spends on your child is probably the same amount he spends on the rest combined.

New pp, it's his child and he should pay for his child. Tough if he had other children.

[Anonymous]

How to you shared custody? 50/50?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Long story short: divorced several years ago, lovely child, that exDH and I adore. ExDH remarries, has a few babies, lives frugally, his parents help him out from time to time.

I have recently found out that new wife has been asking DS about MY finances like how much I make, how much our vacation cost, how much my car costs. Damn, she even asked him how much I paid for his birthday present. Finally, she asked about how much my BF makes. Obviously, DS had no idea because that's smth neither his father or I felt we needed to share with him.

I should mention that the child support exDH pays is very little compared to how much I spend on our child. Yes, I make more than he does, primarily because I invested in my career early on.

Why would she care so much?

Because she would like your exDH to be paying less child support, of course.

Don’t worry about it. If he asks for an adjustment, bring your numbers to court and let them decide. Sounds like you’ll be fine either way.

Do talk to your ex about telling his wife to quit talking to your DS about finances, because it’s not appropriate to put him in in the middle. That’s for your ex to negotiate, though, not you.

I don't know how much more we can adjust, unless he stops paying CS altogether. He pays (drum roll) $350/month.

I did talk to exDH about this. He felt uncomfortable and blurted out "oh, she is just tired. She doesn't mean anything by it. Don't be so sensitive."

A judge would determine the appropriate amount, and if your ex's income has changed (HIS not hers - they won't include hers) they will change it. If his income has gone up, he'll pay more. If its gone down, he'll pay less.

Does he also help pay for activities, childcare, etc? She needs to stop asking your child about your income, but you can also tell your son that he doesn't have to answer.